Almost 4 Year Old Son Taking 1 Hour plus to Fall Asleep at Night

My son did the same thing and then I read something in a parenting magazine which I tried and it worked. In the magazine, they described a similar situation and they then told their daughter they were going to give her a felt flower and she could only use it once to call them up. Once she handed them the flower for the night, that was it - she couldn't call them up again. We tried the same thing but with a red ticket. It worked wonders - I think it gives the child control - they can decide when to use the ticket, but know - once the ticket is used, that's it - time to stay in their room/go to sleep. Hope that works for you!

You would be amazed at my answer i know but put him to bed a 1/2 hr earlier. I actually was told that and did that with naps and never thought before 7 or 7:30 would be a good idea but i tried it the last two nights with my daughter. Kindergarten starts in Sep. for my daughter and she was getting up at 7:30am i want her to get up on her own for school and didn't want her to be woken up for school and be tired all day. So i tried it i started putting her to bed 1/2 hr earlier and it worked. She went RIGHT to sleep... YEA!

If you can figure out a way to tire him out a little more I can tell you how my friends kept their daughter in bed and not coming into their room using excuses. They put a child doorknob on the inside of their room so that the daughter couldn't open the door. Don't be scared that they won't be able to get you, they can bang on the door to get your attention, or if your not to far they can just talk to you to get your attention. And just explain that he is not allowed to get out of bed. Since he will learn getting out of bed won't do him any good, he will eventually learn to relax and stay in there and go to sleep.

A.,
You may try putting him to bed later depending on what time he is already going to bed since you did not mention that part. Or if that is already going on 9, I would cut the nap and have him in bed by 8pm. Then enjoy your evening! One other thing which you did mention, when I spend good quality time with my boys, they sleep really good. When they have been stimulated and had my attention throughtout the day, they are better at night. Something I have observed over the years with my boys. I know life sometimes happens and we get busy with things and don't want to listen to every story or want to watch every action figure movement or play trains one more time, but that one on one time does make a difference at the end of the day.
You are doing a great job being there for him! A.

Lots of good stuff to try. They're so sweet when they're sleepy - ya just want to snuggle em to sleep - don't you? We were doing this and it kept the bedtime getting longer. Now we do our original - 1 song, 1 story routine and say "Bedtime, Sweetie". But if he doesn't go to sleep the 1st time - we go back in a few minutes and say "bedtime" and the 3rd time we say nothing. We've taken away his incentive to keep calling for us. At first it took us longer than 3 tries - but after the 1st 2 visits we don't speak and just lay him back down and leave. It works and he's almost 3. It's not giving him what he wants which is to delay the inevitable - bedtime. So he doesn't try it anymore. Hope that helps, S.

Hi A.,
I would agree with the other posts, suggesting that it is time to cut out the nap. My younger daughter is the same way; she gets cranky in the afternoon, but it's just not worth it to let her nap because then she will be awake til all hours at night. Even a cat nap of 20 minutes will ruin her night's sleep. Regarding the crankiness, I try not to have anything strenuous planned for the late afternoon and I make that our TV time where she can lounge around and watch TV for an hour or so while I prepare dinner.
Good luck
L. P
Proud member of the M.O.M. Team
www.YouCanWorkFromYourHome.com

Sorry A., but some kids JUST DON'T go down easily!!! We have a 3 year old who is up till 11pm almost everynight because he calls for us constantly. Luckily he doesn't come out of his room.

I would say try cutting out his nap and wearing him OUT in the evenings by riding his bike outside, or play games with him to get him moving. Simon says... hop scotch ... etc.

Usually by age 3 kids tend to wean out of a nap, so technically he doesn't need that nap.

If he IS cranky, try moving bedtime up earlier, just 30 minutes will make a HUGE difference!

I hope this helps.

B.

I put a small easy to reach light by his bed. I tell him he can read a book(and let him negotiate it to 2 books-let them have little control) and tell him to turn the light off when he is done

I have a 4 year old who is very hard to get to sleep too, he's like me. My brain (and his) just don't turn off very easily to go to sleep. Do you go back in and check on him? Tell him you'll be back in 5 minutes to check on him (Or however long you want), but he has to be in bed for you to check on him, make it a "game" of sorts. You might also want to give him some techniques to relax his brain, like saying his ABC's in his head, or counting. Even I have to do the counting to fall asleep.

HiAndrea,
We had the same problem with our son when he was 3 and also our daughter at about the same age. They are 5 and 6 now and have not routinely taken a nap for several years. What we did, because I am sure it is the long nap even though it is early. At least that's what the problem was for us. Anyway, we shortened his nap in the after noon for a week or so letting him only sleep 1/2 the time the first few days so about 45 mins and then wake him up, even if it takes getting a cold rag to get him to wake up and then do something active. Yes, you will have to deal with the crankiness for a couple of weeks. Then we cut him down to 20-30 mins, and then no nap at all. This was hard and at time I had to literally splash cold water in his face and then go to the park or something to keep him awake. However, after 2 weeks he was going to bed at his normal bed time and going right to sleep. He is five now and still sleeps about 10 hours at night with no nap, my daughter is 6 and needs 11 hours at night with no nap. We put them to bed around 7:30 and they are always asleep by 8. Also, I did have that getting up problem too, and just finally told them I would tuck them in once and if they got up they would have to tuck themselves back in. We also, ran into the "I'm hungry "monster as a way of staying up and we would let them get up and sit at the table by themselves and eat something healthy. Usually they were not hungry enough to get up and do that.
Hope this helps.
P.

What time do you put your son to bed? we had to adjust our son's sleeping time. Maybe he is not ready to go to bed and could spend another hour with you in the evening?

We had to do away with naps for my daughter for the same reason! She would take HOURS to fall asleep if she took a nap- even for 30 min. so we had to face the cranky girl in the evening so that she would go to sleep and get a good nights rest for school the next day. It was a battle that we faced throughout preschool. During this past school year she only took naps on the days that she had dance because she needed the extra energy for the class. Try "rest time"- books on tape are good for this or pop in a movie- but they have to lay on the couch or bed and REST! Time for them to be quiet and relax is important for us too!

I think it's time to cut out the nap. My son is almost four too and he *could* still easily take a nap, and he can also be a real hellion when he doesn't (hitting, throwing things, not listening, etc.). Before we cut out the nap, he was taking an hour or so to fall asleep at night, while his older sister was out like a light five minutes into bed (they share a room). Now he too is asleep when I check on him 15 minutes later. I think there is a period of adjustment to expect, and he may be difficult the first few weeks with no nap, but I remember the same thing with my daughter. Once their little bodies get used to the new hours, he'll be better behaved too.

I am SO SO SO sorry but it's time to cut the nap. The crankiness will only last a few weeks if that.

Sit in his room after lights are out. Just sit there quietly. He may feel that he doesn't want to be alone. I did this with my sons, and it worked, I didn't have to do it long.

And NO nap for a kid that age! He will get over the crankyness in a few days.

You were so lucky for him to nap in the afternoon for this long. Alas, it is time for no afternoon nap.

Do you tell him he cannot come out of his room once he is in bed? Discuss it early in the day. Remind him throughout the day. If it doesn't work, tell him that since he is acting like a 2 year old, you'll have to gate him in like a 2 year old and put a gate up at his bedroom door.

YMMV
LBC

My oldest was three and a half when he gave up nap but to make up for it I had to put him to bed really early. SOmetimes as early as 6:30. So if you do give up the nap as others suggested you may need to move bedtime up to 7pm.

Also try getting him something to look at in his room. A lava lamp or a Moon in My Room might give him something to look at while his body relaxes.

You didn't mention what time you are putting him to bed and that could have a hand in it. Sometimes if kids get too tired they will sleep poorly. I know that is true with my 3 and a half year old son. Also where do you do your routine, the music and books and lights out? It sounds to me that you do the routine in your room not his. It could be helpful to read the books to him while he is laying in his own bed if you don't do it already. The last suggestion I have is that when you get up to usher him back to him room only say something the first time, after that just put him back to bed without words and eye contact. This will let him know you mean business and he won't get the sttention is sounds like he is seeking.