Almost Sil's Bachlorette Party...

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Yes, he has a right to be ticked. Probably a foreshadowing of his life-to-come! Hope not.
I think you are upset or you wouldn't have posted anything.

Your brother does have the right to be ticked. You are his sister and will be her defacto sister soon. You are family and should have been invited - hands down. She's being a B and this is no way to start things off. I have one of those married to my brother. We no longer speak. Good luck with her!

Hello,

I went through the same exact thing this summer. I was not asked to be in the bridal party or invited to the bachelorette party. I was invited to the bridal shower - it was quite obvious it was for a gift (declined the invite for that reason). My brother never stood up for me, and to be quite honest, it has broken the family apart. I refused to go to his wedding because I was too hurt from not being asked to be a part of the wedding. He is my only sibling! It was like a slap in the face when he asked me to make his fiance feel welcome in the family, when she chose distant cousins for bridesmaids over me. Every wedding I have been to, included siblings in the wedding party on both sides, if there was only one sibling. It is rude to leave them out!!!

I think your brother has every right to be mad. He asked this girl to be a part of his family. If she wants to be accepted into the family, she needs to accept the family as her own. She obviously has not done that. And yes, I understand, she is marrying your brother, not his whole family, but a little respect goes a long way. I do not think she realizes the long term effects this could have, on family gatherings, etc. Even if she knows you would not go, she should extend the invite. I would be glad for my brother standing up for me. Even if it didn't change anything, at least I would know he was on my side.

Good luck, and if it doesn't bother you, then it is no big deal, but if it does, stand your ground. Not going to my brother's wedding was probably the hardest decision I ever made, but it was the right one for me.

From what I have seen, we are not the only ones with lousy SILs,
Hang in there,
L.

How tacky and rude for your almost SIL to NOT invite you to her bacheloretter party when your brother invited your boyfriend to his bachelor party! Your brother should ask his fiancee why she didn't invite you. In my opinion, that means she doesn't like you, and your brother should know this. I am sorry you are getting such a rude SIL.

I think it's GREAT that you aren't upset over it. I can't say that I would have the same reaction, regardless of whether or not I liked her or she liked me, it's just proper etiquette that you should be invited. Anyway, that's just to say that you are obviously a bigger person.

I do think that your brother has a right to be upset. He probably views it as a slap-in-the-face because of the fact that by her rejecting you, he feels that it is a rejection of him. Although, I don't know that men necessarily think quite so deeply into things. To your point, I don't know that if I were you I would want him to say anything, because then if she does invite you, you would in a way be obligated to say yes so as to not cause a further issue.

It's a tough spot. I do think he has a right to be ticked though. Just my two cents.

i dunno, i'm with you. i get a little confuzzled at all the 'should's and 'have to's with weddings. if you and your future SIL like each other, why get in a tizz over a bachelorette party invite?
i consider it an act of kindness to be allowed to duck these<G>.
i'd hug your bro and tell him how much you love him for being offended on your behalf, but to let it go and focus on enjoying his wedding. and hug his bride and tell her how it rocks to have an honest, pleasant relationship with her that doesn't rely on musts and obligations.
most of all, good for you for declining the opportunity to fan the flames of family drama.
:) khairete
S.

I don't know, back in my day it was just good friends who hosted/went to the bachelorette party. Then last year, I was invited to my fiance's daughter's party. It was just weird. Nothing inappropriate -- just very boring. Eating, barhopping.... Not my thing. Maybe it's just her friends going? Just a thought.

Yes he has a right to be ticked off. That is rude and i would also wonder what she is planning to do at that bachelorette party that she doesn't want you to see and in turn tell your brother.

I think that it is nice your bro is standing up for you. Not sure why you didn't expect one though?? You really should have been on the invite list.

People can't help how they feel. It is how they respond that matters. The fact is you weren't invited and you've accepted that, so your brother should be the bigger person and let it go. You'll have years to cultivate a relationship with your SIL. No need to get started on the wrong foot. No, I do not think you are insenstive. It sounds like you are a mature adult who knows not to sweat the small stuff. We recently had a wedding related situation, similar in that someone was hurt by not being invited to the rehearsal dinner.......oh, my goodness, get a life! People have a right to decide who they are inviting to their events, I doubt that most of the time the "not inviting" is to cause hard feelings, and you can't always invite everyone! Sometimes, these things are meer oversights. Ask your brother to please let it go and I think you are thinking about this perfectly.

Have you been personal friends with the bride for a long time? Have you been close since she and your brother started dating? The Bachelorette party is typically for the good friends of the bride and a lot of times include only the bridal party. I would not worry about it and I would tell your brother to relax and enjoy his own party.
I went back and read your original post about the wedding...I agree with you that $400 for a flower girls dress ( especially when you are taking care of TWO flower girls!!!) is out of line...and I Hope that she changed her mind about that!

It's rude on her part. You will be family, you should have been invited. Yes, he has the right to be ticked off for you, even if you're not (and you totally should be.) I have never heard that just the bridal party is invited to the bachelorette party. Around here, it's friends and family (including, but not limited to the bridal party.) However, it's also tradition that the maid (or matron) of honor plans the bachelorette party. If the bride-to-be didn't give her maid of honor a list, perhaps it's not her fault.
If the bride to be just didn't invite you? Rude, rude, rude.

You didn't receive an invitation to your brothers' fiances bachlorette party? It sounds like she assumed you knew you could attend? Or , perhaps , you're just lucky? If you weren't upset-you are not hiding it well.

In regards to you or your BF not being in the bridal party.....it's up to the bride to choose her 'girls' and the groom to choose his guys. At least, it should be. When I got married, I was rather pressured to have his one sister in the wedding party. I liked her then and we get along great after all these years, but then, I simply didn't want her in the party because I was having my friends. I never made an issue over it since it's not that big of a deal, but in the end it should have been my choice. Additionally, it is the persons choice to accept the invite to be in the wedding party. My best friend asked not to be the maid of honor since she was strapped for funds and that position generally requires a bit of a financial commitment. I understood and even bought her part of her outfit for the wedding to help.

As for the pre-wedding festivities, you're right. If I were you, I wouldn't necessarily expect an invite - especially if we're not close - and wouldn't take offense if not invited. Make sure you tell your bro to drop it with his fiance. A wedding is crazy stressful and this is something that means nothing in the end. The only person who seems to have feelings about it is your little bro. Remind him that this is a learning lesson for married life.....Pick Your Battles!!!!

Good luck!

if you havent been invited to the pre wedding party, then you have every right to not be expected to help pay for anything and / or help out in any way.after all, if she doesnt want you there, then it stands to reason that she doesnt want your money either, right? his soon to be wife is being petty, and you can tell her i said so.she is slighting you to see what will happen, she is going to be a thorn in your side"forgetting" to invite you, trust me, i have dealt with her type before. get used to it, and, simply return the favor... oh, the brownies? gee, i forgot to bring them,oh, well, maybe next time. and, then share them with everyone BUT her
K. h.