Am I Crazy? Should We Rush Having Another Baby?

First reaction? - Yes.

A 2nd pregnancy is so much different than the first. Trying to take care of a baby while being pregnant is really, really hard. At 6 months old they don't do much at all - they're really easy. If you were to get pregnant right now, at 8-9 months of pregnancy you'd be chasing around a 14 month old toddler...

I am 8 months pregnant and my youngest son is 17 months old.... and let me tell you, I feel like I am about to drop. I wake up exhausted. I am running out of patience. I'm stressed, uncomfortable, and feel like a bad mom sometimes because I can't do anything with my little guy anymore.

At least wait until he's more independent. I promise. Trust me - wait until you see how much work he is going to be. You will realize what I'm talking about and be thankful you're not expecting again just yet. You'll need all the energy and stamina you can get trying to get him safely into toddlerhood.

Just my two cents!

I had my first at 35 (almost 36!) and the second 17 mos later... while it was a bit crazy - like having two babies for a while, it's getting easier now that they are 3.5 and just over 2. I LOVE having them close in age and think it will be easier to do family things as they'll be able to do similar activities b/c they will be close in age. We didn't actually plan to have them so close, but I am happy we did! There is no wrong decision... good luck!

My first 2 kids are only 13 months apart. I was actually more worried with #3, because the first time we had a baby, EVERYTHING was about babies. When you have older kids plus a baby, it takes more planning and effort to meet everybody'd different needs. Good luck, whatever you decide!

Hi K.~

There really is no right or wrong answer here. Both situations have pros and cons, its all what is best for you =) A couple things you may want to think about when making your decision: 1) Are you a SAHM? I just ask because if you are, then at least you will be able to stay home with your son while you are pregnant. Not that being a SAHM is easier, but being pregnant is strain enough without chasing around a toddler and trying to work at the same time. If you do stay home, then when you are exhausted at least you can pop in a video and have a little rest time with your son---you only have to plan around the two of you instead of an employer so that can be helpful =) Also the cost of having two kids in daycare is something to consider. 2) The second thing I would keep in mind is that although its nice to have a plan, life just doesn't always follow what we want. I had DD at 25 with no problem. We decided we were going to wait til she was about 2 before we got pregnant with #2. Well, she is almost 4 and I have had trouble conceiving this time around. It has been totally unexpected. I had a miscarriage last year and haven't been able to get pregnant again. I am only 29! I am not saying this to scare you, just to let you know that sometimes life has a plan of its own. If you want more kids, and have the energy and resources to do it now, then why wait? Although many women have healthy babies into their forties---it does get harder for many as they get older. There is no telling where on the spectrum you will fall. You may start trying next month and it could take a year before you actually get pregnant. I truly wish that doesn't happen to you, but just be prepared that you don't know what will happen and enjoy the beautiful baby you have. I wish you the best with "your choice".

Hello! There is no "crazy" choice. You have to do what's right for you and your family. Only you know what's right for you, but I can share my experience. :)

My kids are a few days shy of 15 months apart. My youngest is turning 3 in a week, while my eldest is 4. And now, for the first time ever, I am realizing what a blessing it is to have my kids close in age. I can see how tough things are for my friends that have kids 3+ years apart -- the eldest is in preschool and has activities, but the baby still needs to be home sleeping. Tough, tough calls -- do you keep the eldest from activities or blow off the naps for the baby? My kids can now be a part of many of the same park district and gym classes, making it so much easier on me. And my kids are best friends (for now, at least!) and are never lonely. It's really quite wonderful in so many ways.

Several posters have mentioned that kids born close together make it "hard at first." I'll be completely un-PC here and tell you that the last 3 years have been the toughest years of my life. Not much fun at all -- in fact, downright miserable at times. I never left the house for over a year -- my firstborn was still on 2 naps when my 2nd was sleep training. Up until now, I would have told you do *not, not, not* have your children spaced close together. But now...I'm seeing the positives.

But here's what I think is the real truth: it's TOUGH to go from 1 child to 2, no matter when you do it. (Just as I'm sure that Moms with 3 kids believe that having 2 children is ridiculously easy compared to having 3!!) It's just different types of issues, depending upon the age of the firstborn. I was told many times: "It's so easy going from 1 child to 2." For me, that was a big fat lie! It's 50 times tougher than 1 child. So have your 2nd whenever you want -- you'll survive the tough parts, no matter when they fall!

Do you think it's crazy? It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. :) Just remember that no matter what people advise you or promise you, it is their experience and won't necessarily be yours. People sometimes seem to think that if it happened to them, it will happen the same way to everyone else.

If you and your husband are ready now, have that baby! I had 2 within 20 months and for me, it wasn't that big a deal, but I'm not going to promise you that you'll have it as easy as I did.

Listening to other's experiences is fun and interesting, but in the end, it is still their experience, not yours. Whatever you decide will be the right decision!

No start now...it took us 6 yrs after our first child! I was 30 im now 36 n 8 months pregnant....hope it all goes well for you.....

You really need to give your body a chance to recover. I would wait. Kids are expensive anyway! And if you lost coverage, you could probably buy insurance just for you.

Here in Massachusetts, pregnant women and children are given excellent state coverage for free if they lose their insurance.

Good luck!

Go for it!! Having them close in age will be hard at first but they will play together soon enough and be the best of friends. When that happens your life will become a lot easier!

It really depends on what experience you may want in addition to the other things you mentioned. Lots of people have them close together but you will have 2 babies who can't do much for themselves at the same time. Mine were over 3 years apart and I loved having just my first all that time to really embrace his changes and growth and spend lots of time with just him.

It really is a good idea to give your body time to recoup after a birth. Ideally it is 2 years but that's doesn't sound realistic in your case. You don't say if you are nursing but some women are able to nurse while pregnant and others it causes problems with their milk. So that's something to consider as well.

If it were me I'd give my body just a little more time, maybe even 3 months and i'd ramp up my nutritional status to prepare for the next one!

Good luck!

You have a ton of great answers already so I'll just ALSO say go for it! I unexpectedly got pregnant when my oldest was 6 months and LOVE having two so close together! We waited to have kids too and it's nice to just crank them out when you're finally in baby mode! Yes, it's hard at first but our youngest is 8 months and it gets easier and more enjoyable by the day! Best of luck!

Crazy, no. Smart, Yes.

I had 8 kids. My kids that were born the closest together played better as kids, did homework together, did activities together, etc. The only thing I would change about my family is that I would have all the kids closer together, at least as close together as the first three. They were 14 and 16 months apart.

If you can have more than two, do so. I have 8. My oldest two live over 1500 miles away. The other 6 live close enough that they come over on Sunday for dinner and the games we play as a family. I shudder to think how sad my life would be if I only had two kids and they both lived where they do now.

I have a friend that had two. The second was a "surprise". Both are real good kids. When the oldest was 19, he was on his way home from work, when he saw a woman beside her car (in the rain) struggling to change a flat tire. He pulled over to help her. Just as he finished jacking her car up, someone sideswiped her car and killed him instantly. My friend and I talked about this several times. His comment, "What if we had had only one?" (child) He said it was months before they could let the other son out of the house without constantly staring out the window waiting for his return.

Do yourself a favor and have them close together and have more than one more if you can. Good luck to you.

BTW, 3 were easier to raise than 1. 5 were alot easier than three and 8 was a breeze compared to 5.

I got pregnant when my oldest was 6 months old... and I LOVE it! sure it was tough having two so young, but I expected it... and my daughters are soooooo sweet together! I say go for it!

Go for it! It will be hard for a year or so with two very young ones but soon after they can play together and of course fight together, but why not try now? Have fun!

I had my second baby a week before my 1st son turned 3 years old. I was 39 at the time. I'm very happy with the spacing between them. At one point I had two in diapers/pullups at the same time. Now my oldest son is 3 and my oldest 5 and both are potty trained. My second pregnancy was easier than my first with no problems and almost no morning sickness. I was not a SAHM with either pregnancy so it was really hard. But at the same time it was my normal so I just keep pushing. I think working kept me sane because at least there I could sit down and get a lunch hour.

I would not wait no more than a year to get started. Once you get one out of diapers and get to the point where you can actually sleep though the night it is very hard to go back.
Good Luck!

I found out I was pregnant with number two when number one was not yet 11 months old. They do fight, but since they are close in age they have the same interest, and are the best of friends. If children are too far apart there is not common interests to allow them to want to play together. My sister has 3 boys. The oldest is 5 years older than the next, and the 2 younger ones are less than 2 years apart. The 2 younger ones play together all the time and have a great time together. The older one has nothing really in common with the younger two, and so when they are all away from home (like visiting Grandma) he is usually board and alone while the younger 2 have a great time. I would say go for it!

Also wanted to add that it saves you the trouble of storing stuff forever. When one kids out grows cloths or a toy, the younger one is already the right age or size for it, so you do not have to keep all that stuff in storage or find a place for it. :)

We wanted our kids 22 months apart, but I wasn't ready when it came time to get pregnant again. I wish I was. #1 and #2 are 3.5 years apart and while they get along great, looking back, I wish I had them closer together. It helps that they are both boys. #2 and #3 are 23 months apart and it's a good spread. They are amaing together. We are considering trying for #4 next month....since I'm 35 and don't want to wait much longer....although I had homebirths will all of them and everything was great, so I don't buy into the advanced maternal age thing. ;) I get that genetic issues are more often to arise the older we get, but as far as pregnancy and birth goes, I'm still like a 20 year old!

My brother and I were 22 months apart and really close our entire lives. My husband is 5 years older than one sister and 9 years older than the other. None of them have anything in common.

I have two boys who are 15 months apart. because of when birthdays fall they are a year apart grade wise. they are good friends. best friends while they were younger. they are in colleges in different states now so have grown a little apart but are still very very close. and we got done with bottles, diapers, diaperbags, booster seats, car seats etc all at the same time. so much easier. (well till 6 years later when next one came along lol

Yes go for it and try having another right now. My husband and I wanted to wait too, it's been 4 yrs since our daughter was born and now for the past 4 months we've been trying and no luck. As we get older our bodies go through changes and you never know.

dont u get medicare? u know the goverment type? well NO IF U WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD GO AHEAD!!! just try to save up!!! good luck!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! my daughter will also be 6 mos this week comin up!!

My ob/gyn recommended that I wait at least one year after the first was born, before getting pregnant again (however, that wasn't in the cards, I was pregnant 9 months later and both mom and baby were healthy). However, before making any decissions, you should consult with your doctor.

And to directly answer you question, no you're not crazy. It's great to have a plan, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Sit down and have a long talk with hubby and make a decission that works best for both of you.

Good luck.

My daughters are 15 months apart, not planned, but it is the BEST!! They are best friends. I couldn't imagine anything better than having a sibling so close in age, so if you are up to it, then go for it!

My kids were born 10/27/94, 03/06/04, 06/09/05, 06/15/07 & I'm due 07/06/10... the best gap that I have found is under or around 2 yrs so far. I like how my last 3 were space rather then the first 2... I oldest wants nothing to do with her siblings. Where are my younger 3 seem to be closer - more so the 6 & almost 5 yr olds (eventhough it is a girl & boy). They don't really remember life without eachother... they like to sleep in the same room & when they started preschool my son couldn't have done it without his sister. When one is away - they always want to know where the other is & when they will be home - it's almost as if life stops when they are apart.

I did have health issues in 2006 & after having a baby in 2004, 2005 & 2007 - I wanted to give my body a little rest before trying again... so here we are in 2010 & expecting a little one again soon.

I don't think your crazy - children are a joy to have (for the most part). But I will let you know... the first few months are hard when you have a toddler & a newborn, but as they get older it is much easier since they are able to keep eachother entertained in play. Plus, toys are a lot easier to deal with... when all your kids are close in age - they like to play with a lot of the samethings... which means it seems like they have so many things to do, even if you only buy each of them one things.

Good luck in your choose!

I had my first at 35. It took us awhile to get pregnant with our first. We knew we wanted a 2nd child so we started trying again when the 1st was 7 mos old. Of course I got pregnant immediately and we now have 2 boys 1 1/2 years apart. The first 2 years were crazy and I really asked myself what have I done?? But now that they are 5 & 6 it is actually really great. They play together and want to stay in the same room. I like have them close together. My sister and I were 4 years apart. My husband and his brother were 5 years apart. We both agreed that it seemed like we never had anything in common with our siblings. Our boys do so much together. If you know you want another, go for it!

I have heard that you can negotiate a flat fee with some hospitals for your birth expenses if you don't have insurance. It's something like $2k-$3k from start to finish, no matter what kind of delivery you have (c-section or otherwise). This should include your OB visits, tests, and screenings.

You should contact the hospital where you would like to deliver to see if they can do anything for you. I think you would ask to speak to a social worker or patient advocate. If you can arrange for a prenegotiated rate, then start putting away the money now, and then you can plan to have baby #2 when you are ready. Good luck!

Yes I think it is crazy. Your body needs to recover from the first baby. I was 38 when I had my first daughter and it seemed like it took forever to get back into shape. It took me a lot longer to get pregnant the second time also. When oldest was 18 months we started trying for number 2 and she arrived the day before oldest 3rd b'day.

i would, but i am not you.

In CA maternity must be covered by medical insurance. that could be changing, and i just haven't head though.....

when kids are closer they like each other more when you have a 4 year old and a newborn the 4 will most of the time get bored of the baby and want nothing to do with it, or go in the i wanna be the only child mode agen cause they are used to being the only child and want all the attention on them and act out. but its all up to you. hope you find your answer

Honestly, I think you need to look at your home finances as they relate to this decision. Your son isn't anywhere near peak formula consumption... Even if you're nursing him now, one aspect is whether you would continue while pregnant...). There's also the cost of diapers for both children to factor in (because if you get pregnant now, you'll have a newborn and a 16 month old--pretty much both in diapers simultaneously). For my daughter, I nursed as long as I could (she self-weanned at 10 months) and then we had $200-300 in formula costs each month until she was 15 months (doctor recommended we keep her on formula after 12 months). Diapers/pull-ups cost us about $25 a week until she was potty-trained.

I also found that there was a definite amount of tension in my marriage while our daughter was under 3... (your baby isn't mobile yet, or in the temper-tantrum phase). So, what I guess I'm saying is that you should consider when to have another based on how much additional baby necessities your home finances can support and realistically, how much distraction and parental stress your marriage can manage (espcially since financial pressure will make even the slightest marital stress 10 times harder). Because you wouldn't want to find yourself irrevokably distanced from your husband 3-5 years from now.

You might want to consider saving $150-250 per month for the next 24-36 months as your maternity care fund and finance your delivery and prenatal care that way instead of rushing to have another baby before your original ideal timeline. Because if you have another baby when you're son is 16 months, you'll probably be spending at least that much more per month.

not at all. I say go for it. I have been trying since feb. T wil be 1 in july and i want them close. I am 39 and age is a factor for me as well.

If you can handle it...homebirth with an independent certified midwife is a whole lot cheaper than a hospital birth. It is possible to do out-of pocket if need be. In a few years the insurance situation may change. ( No more pre-exisiting conditions supposedly)
I'd try not to be in a rush. Studies indicated a mom's body neeeds more recovery time in order to have a healthy next pregnancy.

Mine are 14.5 months apart. I LOVE IT. That first year was really, really hard. Now they are 3 and almost 2 and it is so much fun.

I have a 20 month old and a 7 month old born 12 months and 20 days apart! They already have so much fun together as my oldest crawls on the floor with my youngest! Both girls so I didn't spend anything on new clothes or sheets! Diapers are the biggest problem, but its not so bad bc we have a lot of people (grandma's who love to buy things :) who help! I can't imagine waiting and both were a surprise! I was on the pill with both and they both turned out healthy and happy with NO problems being so close together!
You are not crazy we were actually going to start when my oldest was a year but God had other plans which worked out great for us! As soon as my oldest was off formula we started having to buy more bc baby was eating it. Food wise for my oldest was no problem bc I was raised in a big family and over cook no matter what lol! Go for it just talk to your ob and make sure you eat healthy and use prenatal pills for sure if you want to try! Start the pills before you concive so your vitamins are all there! Good luck!

I don't think it's crazy at all!!! (but I also had 3 kids in 3 1/2 years) If you and your husband are ready and feel that you can afford 2 children both financially and emotionally then go for it!

Yes Have another Baby RIGHT NOW! they play with each other, Bond and love eachother. They learn to share! Some times 2 is easier than 1 because they can keep eachother occupied. They will go to the same school and have simmilar friends. You still have most of the stuff from the first I suspect! Start Knocking Boots!