Am I Just Being Silly

If he has children with is ex, then it's to be expected that they would want to have contact with their grandkids/ neices/ nephews... and if they can maintain a relationship with mum, all the better. Same token, GFs/BFs don't get noticed a lot by most families, especially in an ex-wife/ ex-husband with kids until it's engagement serious.

Just to play the devil's advocate...I think it depends on the relationship of the ex and your current relationship. You don't say if this is an ex-wife, or girlfriend, etc. or how long they were together. Do they have kids together? How long have you been together?

My mom was/is still friendly with my grandfather even after my father remarried. They had been together for 25 years before the divorce, and if my mom (or dad for that matter) posted a picture with the other one in it, I don't think it would be a big deal for either of them.

You also didn't explain the breakup situation, if they just went their separate ways, or if there was some betrayal. I don't necessarily think that there is anything wrong with adults maintaining their friends, and it doesn't sound like you boyfriend has an issue with it. Is she trying to interfere with your relationship, or just happened to tag an old picture with your boyfriend's name?

Perhaps you could stop looking at Facebook for awhile. You are kind of feeling bullied I would guess since that is what they are doing. They fall short of being mature people, they are like babies in grown up bodies. Just enjoy your man. Remember he is the one who is an hour away from them and it sounds like that isn't even his mother anyway, but his sister's the way it was phrased. so in the words of my own mother as I grew up, just ignore it. You are too classy to put up with this.

yes immature is a good description. I think if they were really friends with the ex, it is a difficult position for everyone. But its not fair to them that you get upset by this, if they really were friends. You need feel the confidence you have in yourself and your relationship.. that is the true solution.
Honestly, they friended her because everyone wants to have lots of friends on facebook.. causese more trouble than it's worth!!
If people are talking about you,,, get over it. That would mean you are something worth talking about .... like celebrity gossip.... maybe that gives your DIVA status... hehehe... obviously they have nothing better to do. That's a sad state for them. Maybe you think the Ex wants to find a way back into your boyfriend's life? If so, this is all going to blow up in her face, because no guy wants his mother meddling in his lovelife. So mom will suffer too!! And if it does cause trouble for your relationship... well then he's no catch and they did you a favor.
I think the facebook stuff gets to be old news.. and the excitement of friending her will blow over, when the next new thing comes up.
So don't be like them... and don't click on their facebook wall , or whatever, and read it. Unless they are meddling in your relationship, I say ignore it and be the better person.
Of course pictures are going to pop up on facebook. Unless you are tagged, why are you looking at things that push your buttons? ...And your boyfriend should be supportive and remove a tag of himself from that picture if it has already upset you. But its from his past, so unless its huggy/kissy with the ex, I don't think it should be a big deal. It's not like it's hanging up in his bedroom.
These people will always get to you,unless you get over it. If not this situation, there will be others... learn now that you can only control yourself. So worry about important things.... like maybe a nice romantic dinner for two... where this issue is not the topic of discussion. because it would even ruin the taste of your food... He probably is clueless to this whole thing... and that's where you should be too. life goes on... and you being happy is ultimately under your control.

You have the man. Don't worry about his family's relationship with his ex. What matter's most is that he isn't still having a relationship with his ex and you cultivate your relationship with him while being polite and sweet to his family. Don't get caught up in the small stuff. I love Jaimee's suggestion of "hiding" his family for a time.

My husband has and still does keep in contact with one of his ex-girlfriends. She keeps in contact with his family too. I'm not threatened because I am and always have come first in his priorities. Also, I've realized over time that she is good to have around because she has proved more than once that I definitely was the better choice.

I agree with taking the high road and things will show their true nature as time goes on. What goes around comes around.

Sounds to me like they are being pretty silly, and hoping not to have to accept that you are the woman their son/brother has chosen. If the guy is wonderful to you, then you's be a little silly to let their childish behavior get under your skin. Once you do that, there will be nothing but needling and antagonism running in both directions, and that could eventually take a toll on how sweet your find this relationship.

They don't know you well, they knew and liked her better, and it is entirely within their rights to feel that way. They didn't choose you, your boyfriend did. Be friendly, be adult, be consistent, and you can probably win them over.

It sounds like they are being immature and it is not worth the stress they are putting on you. "unfriend" them on facebook until they can grow up and ca act their age. When you are visiting, and if they bring it up, tell them how it made you feel and you will be happy to friend them on facebook when they can play nice!

I don't think you are being immature but I have issues like this too. My SIL (BIL's wife) is someone we don't even talk to anymore - nor him actually - for multiple reasons. I "accidently" saw where she posted a picture of all of them with the ex and titled it "the D family". Supposedly she didn't realize the picture was public since we aren't on each other's friend lists so if it were private, I wouldn't have been able to see it. Like that makes it any better.

FYI, your boyfriend can untag himself from those pictures and if he does, they cannot retag him.

You're not being silly at all. You can "hide" his family for awhile and they won't even know they are hidden. And you won't have to see their posts. Keep loving your boyfriend and forget about his ex... good luck!

I would go on with my happy life with your boyfriend and delete his family as your friends of FB. I would not even bring it up when you see them. Let them tag and talk all they want. Your the who is with him not her. Take the high road and leave them on the low road!

I think if you feel secure in your relationship then that is what matters. If they want to play childish games and live in the past there is really not much you can do about it. Just laugh to yourself about how they are being so childish and how they are thinking that they are causing problems. Unhappy people do foolish things.

You can choose to let them affect your life or you can choose to not let them.

If their FB posts are bugging you, you don't have to "unfriend" you can just choose to hide their posts, so you never see them. I had a FB friend who constantly put up new pics of her boobs. I still like her I just got tired of seeing her boobs. I just hid her posts, occasionally go look at what she has to say and post directly on her wall. Simple. She doesn't know that I've done that.
S.

Your description of your boyfriends family kind of says it all. Some people will never be happy with who their son/daughter end up with. You say that they have always talked about his ex and now they are all chummy. Well, my guess is it is because she is no longer their sons girlfriend. Unfortunately, there are way too many mom's out there, especially mother's of sons, that just can't handle their son growing up and finding a nice woman. I think they look at it like it is a replacement of them and they cannot handle that. You could be the most perfect catch on earth and they will never see it. My advice would be that if you want a friendship with his family then break up with him, if you want a relationship with him then stop having ANY expectations with his family. Let them continue on with their childish behavior and just know in your heart that you are the bigger person :)

Before you unfriend them and create a new battle ask them what is going on. If they are nasty and or immature then go ahead and unfriend on FB.

You need to trust your boyfriend... if he loves you nothing will change that. Concact w/ an ex in anyway shouldn't affect your relationship. I understant it is his family, but it's just that his family. My in-laws have let my hubby know that I am their daughter & even if something happens between us - I will still be a part of their lives. But I have also given them their 4 almost 5 grand babies.

For whatever reason the relationship between your man & this woman didn't work - so not matter what is on facebook, the problems that split them up are still there. Everyone has the right to be friends with who that want to be, you only have the right to choose who you will be friends with - not who anyone else will be friends with.

When I was expecting my 2 1/2 yr old - my hubby ran into his ex... she wanted to hang out & talk w/ him - I guess she was going through a hard time & she wanted someone from her past to help her through it. Eventhough it was hard & over the last 18 yrs (3 dating & 15 married) she has caused a lot of issues - I couldn't choose his friends. I did lay down "rules" - she isn't to come to my house (I pay the bills & the home loan is in my name only), she was not to be near the kids (they were to small to protect themselves at 2 & 3 1/2) and that I wanted nothing to do with her because I didn't trust her. He did follow the "rules" and only when to her - it didn't take long before she was paying her old games & he soon remembered why they when their own ways so many years ago. I never said anything to him about it - no "I told you so's" and if I would have tried stopping it... it would have just drove a wedge between us. In the end I still have my man - he knows I trust him & all in all it's another thing that brought us closer & made us a stronger couple.

Just keep loving your man & accept his families choose to be friends with this lady. Doesn't mean you have to be, in the end it will work out best for everyone!