Am I Losing My Naptime???

Updated on April 12, 2007
R.S. asks from Glendora, CA
19 answers

My son just turned 3. For the last 4 or 5 days he has not been sleeping during his naptime... he tosses and turns and will literally lay there staring at the ceiling for 1-2 hours and still will not fall asleep. I pass by his room to check on him and he is just laying there. I tell him to go to sleep and he will tell me he is not tired. I tell him he needs to just rest then hoping he will fall asleep but he doesn't. He (along w/my 22 month old) sleep from 7:30pm to 7:00am and would then take a 2-3 hour nap during the day. His night time sleep has not changed at all and a 3 hour nap seems like a lot of sleep to just "give up." He is not uncontrollable or anything without a nap but I do find that he is more prone to being "toddler crabby" :) Has anyone else's little ones stopped taking a nap around this age? Am I losing my afternoon "mommy time" forever?? lol... Thanks!!

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes, I have worked in preschool for many years, and a lot of kids stop needing naps between ages 3 & 4. Also, he has a relatively early bedtime- at 4 years old, most kids are going to bed at 8pm, so you could try to give him a later bedtime if you don't want to cut the nap completely yet.

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T.L.

answers from Bakersfield on

Hi Robyn. You know, I have to fight with my son to take naps. My oldest (4) is ok, although he doesn't like them. My youngest son, almost 2, has just started this. He used to love naps, and I usually took one with him. I have found if you tire him out, he will sleep better.
what I do is let him run around the yard, take him to the park, play spinning and running around games, even some mind games are fun. He just learned how to "hide." He loves to run around and hide from us. I think that when you tire out his body and his mind, he WANTS to sleep. lol.
Go ahead and try that. Good luck!! Best Wishes, T.

P.S. I've noticed the "cranky" thing too. But I wouldn't worry too much about it. His little body is changing so much! Just like the eating phases...sometimes they eat a lot, sometimes not. This is just a phase. Good luck anyway!

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My friend's son will be 3 in June, and he hasn't taken a nap for a few months. He just stopped being tired during the day, but his nighttime routine has stayed the same. I guess some kids just get to an age where they don't need to nap anymore! My friend still makes her son have a "quiet time" (mostly so she can have some sanity!) She makes him go in his room, and she has a gate at the doorway so he has to stay there and play by himself for an hour.
Well, good luck to you! My son is almost 2 and he still naps, but I'm sure there will come a day when he won't want to anymore - hopefully it is later rather than sooner!

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M.G.

answers from Houston on

It sure sounds like it, sorry! My 3 yr old gave up naps about 8 months ago. But!!! She started afternoon pre-school in January so I found I had a struggle to keep her awake somedays until 8pm, her bedtime. Since she's gone for 3 1/2 hrs out of the day I have my resting time back... now if only I could get my 7 month old to take naps on cue at that time!
If he's going into preschool soon I'd recommnend the morning session, that way it doesn't interrupt naptime, and he may be exhausted when he gets home!

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C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Dear Robyn,

You probably are, but on the other hand, you are very, very lucky that he will lay there and rest. That rest is important to the peace of the whole home and family for sure. I read in a child development book that children need afternoon 'nap' or rest time until they are 5 or 6. Probably after coming home from K. they should rest for a bit, if only watching a good tv show or playing quietly on their bed.

I have a theory that not enough rest time during the day causes children to get into misbehavior patterns because, as you said, they are toddler crabby, and it turns into a way of getting through the day. Also, moms need day time rest too. This is the hardest part of your life, with lots of important responsibilities. Actually you are like a General in the Army, and your actions and attitudes influence the whole family very deeply.

My son was very active and I felt that when he watched tv, that he was really resting at the same time. He didn't watch it much, just when something really interesting to him was on.

Good Luck, C. N.

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J.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm not there yet, (mine is only 27 months) but I would try keeping him up 30 to 60 minutes later at night. Have dad play a game that's not over stimulating (like memory match) or read a book while you put the little one to sleep. Then put him to bed. YES- I know that this is double the work for you, but in exchange you may be able to hang onto your naptime break. As a kid, my mom would spend 30 minutes of "private reading time" with each of us at night. Looking back on it, this was the part of the day I looked forward to most. I had my mom COMPLETELY and TOTALLY to myself.

It sounds like he's rather well behaved though. I can't get mine to sit still long enough for me to peel a carrot. OKAY, he's not quite that bad, but he gets pretty close sometimes. I was kind of sad when he dropped from 2 naps to 1, but that was about a year ago now. :-(

Anyway, good luck. Sounds like you're a great mom with great kids. -J.-

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, I have a 3 yr. old, and a 12 month old, so I can relate to the sleeping patterns. My little girl (3 yr. old) has been giving up her naps as well. But sometimes, every 3 days or so she will take one in the afternoon. I have found that she will go to bed a little better for me when she skips her nap, but I know.......its a bummer when the nap ends!! I think its great that your son will at least lay there for "quiet time". Maybe you could just let him hang like that, so you could at least get in an hour? I'm not much of a help, but I wanted you to know that that is happening with me too. Take care!

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S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Robyn. Sorry to say but, it happens. My youngest doesn't turn 3 until July and she is starting Not to take naps. It looks like your children's sleeping pattern is/was like all 3 of mine. It is good that he will lay down for his nap time. I do that with my daughter and it seems to work. The only real advise is that you should be getting ready for the next phase of parenthood. Good luck.
Steph

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E.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

most of the time my daughter doesn't take a nap, sometimes if she is bored she starts to doze off around 6 or 7 pm but then i just take her outside or something to wake her back up til bedtime. i hope if we do put her in day care that its not such a big deal that she is used to not taking naps! :(

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A.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

Sounds like you may be losing it. Sorry. With mine, I watch them, make sure that they aren't too tired. There are days that my girls need that nap, so I tell them to have a 'lie-down'.

Don't look it as losing nap-time; look it as gaining some private time with your son. You'll be able to have a big helper for the little jobs that you do with the little one is sleeping - sorting laundry, picking up and putting away, or snuggling on the couch and watching cartoons.

It's all good, and a great time to bond with your son.

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V.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

My son is 3 1/2 and he did the same thing after his 3rd B-day. I found that if I skip trying to give him a nap and give him a quiet activity to do like playdough or spraying the sliding glass door with water "cleaning" he will be quiet enough not to disturb his brother, but after 2 sometimes 3 days of no nap all I have to do is tell him to take a nap and he'll just say ok and lay down read him story and he is out. He'll nap for 2 days and then no naps again. He's always napped 4 or 5 hours durring the day and gone to bed at 8, but if I give him a nap now he stays up until 10 sometimes 11 talking to his "friends" in bed. So I have to decide if he is craby enough to live through the frustration os a million trips to the bathroom. :)

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M.O.

answers from San Francisco on

Sad to say I have just lost my mommy break time too!!! My daughter (3 in a week and a half) would go to sleep at 830pm and wake up about 730-8am and she would sleep for about 2 hours in the afternoon. but for about the last 2-3 weeks she has skipped her nap, she is just not tired how you said your son is. I send her to her room to lay down but she just doesnt want to, so she can stay in her room and play (I wish quietly).

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Robin, I have now 3 year old twins and a four year old. My now four year old did the same thing and stop taking naps at three. My kids have the same sleep pattern, sleeping about 12 hours at night and still taking long naps during the day. my four year old completely stopped the naps at three but my twins who are three and nearing four still take naps during the day. What I do while my twins are sleeping and my four year old wont, is tell her that it is quiet time, she needs to get her blanket and lay down watch a movie, or read a book, but while the twins are sleeping it is quiet time. And though I can no longer nap anymore, I can still rest and get quiet time as well.

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E.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kids go thru phases...sometimes they won't sleep others they will - like when they are going through a growth spurt or if there is a lot going on in life around them like parties visitors etc. What I would recommend (and what I do) is tell them they don't have to sleep but they have to be in their bed and quiet. My 8 year old still follows this rule - he very rarely sleeps but it has still been known to happen! If you get to the point where he is consistently not able to sleep and you think it would help you could place a few books on his bed that he can look at during rest time. My son is an avid reader as a result of this practice and my 5 year old daughter is well on her way too. My (just turned) 4 year old and 2 year old (girls) both sleep most of the time though my 4 year old will stay up and look at books every once in a while too. I had a friend - whose kids each had their own room that would have a two hour block of time every day that was "room time" they would be separated (and therefore not fighting) but they could play or do what ever they wanted provided it was quiet. Do what works for you but if you need naptime don't let them give it up completely...because you know what they say...if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! Ha, ha - good luck!

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H.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

robyn,

let me know what you find out. my 2.5 year old will very occassionaly skip that nap too, but i make him stay in his bed. i think their little bodies still need a nap- pretty much until kindergarten. i would keep trying if i was you, and if that same thing goes on for another week or so, i would probably let him lie in his bed and look at books if he absolutely cannot sleep. call it "quiet time". i KNOW how important that time is for US!! :)

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C.D.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi Robyn,

Please dont panic! Naps are still in reach, you mentioned that your little one sleeps 7:30 to 7:00. By the age of three my youngest (of seven) did the same almost the week of his third bithday. I put mine to bed 1 hour later and got him up at the same time. He is now 4 and the naps are all but gone now but the hour at night got him back into a 45min to hour nap. The bad news, well its not going to be 2-3 hours anymore. This is my only advice, hope it helps, God Bless!
C.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Robyn,

My son stopped napping around three, my daughter is four and still takes a nap. When Michael was younger I would still have him stay in his room and "read" book and the sametime he took his nap everyday...it kept my "afternoon mommy time" a little bit longer :) Good luck.

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sad to say, but it looks like you are. I too look forward to naptime. My 4 year old will take a nap occasionally, but only for like an hour. What I tell her is she doesn't have to sleep, but she does need to rest. I think now at 3, your son may have outgrown the need for a longer nap. If he'll lay down for an hour though of down time, at least he gets to recooperate. What is his morning routine like? Is it quiet (cartoons, coloring...) or is it energy packed like running and playing outside? If its more quiet, he really may not be tired. try "wearing him out" in the mornings so that he will be tired enough to take a nap. At 4, my oldest gave up naps entirely. Every blue moon when she is super cranky and I can tell she needs one, I will put her down. (She's 7 now).
Good luck and use his "resting time" for yourself.

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S.H.

answers from San Francisco on

My sister has a 2 year old girl and watches a 3 yr.old boy everyday. I have noticed that the days that she takes them out to play and really wears them out helps with getting them to sleep. She layswith them until they fall asleep. I would just try making him run around playing before you try putting him down for a nap. Get him tired so he has to go to sleep. Good Luck

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