Am I Wrong Here?

Updated on June 09, 2007
S.L. asks from Lakeside, CA
5 answers

Ok, so most of you know I run a daycare. I have for 20 years and my daughter knows full well that it's the major source of our income. Apparently, she decided to offer up my services for free to a boss of hers. When I was in the bathroom this morning this child was dropped off just that quick without me even talking to the mother. I assumed that the mother would come and talk with me before dropping her daughter off. I asked my daughter what's going on, why she left and why I wasn't paid. She said she was just offering as a friend.

Already this morning my daughter took off for 45 minutes or so with her grandmother to go and spend a little time with a friend that has a birthday today. She leaves this child with me. After I clean all morning long I sit down to eat my breakfast and it's after 10 which is usual for me. The child comes and tells me she is hungry so I tell her she is going to wait until I'm done. When I'm finished the child tells me that she hasn't had breakfast. So I tell her it's too close to lunch for her to eat much but she can have a banana. My mother comes home a few minutes later and tells me that the child told my daughter first thing this morning that she had already ate breakfast.

So now I have this child here that's lying to me about food, I'm not getting paid and the mother is thinking what? This woman knows I run a daycare. I'm not sure who I am thinking is more rude. What kind of mom just assumes that the mother of an employee of hers is going to take her daughter into her daycare without payment?

My daughter thinks I'm being rude and tells me that they all think I'm weired already because of the rules we have for our daughter. We don't like her working after 10 pm and we don't allow her to run the streets... Anyway, I'm digressing. That's another issue. My daughter should know better.

So we are still torn up in the backyard as the playground is being put in. I can't take the kids outside. I can't set up the moonwalk or pool in the driveway because of the builders and the materials in the driveway. I have a sleeping baby in the playroom. So I suggest my mother take the girls to blockbuster to rent a new playstation game. So what does my daughter say? She asks me if I'm paying for it?!

I've spent plenty of money on my daily drop in kids before. Normally I would never begrudge any child any amount of food, activities, entertainment etc. But I'm not even being paid for this child! And what if she was putting me over on kids?

Am I wrong for feeling like these two girls, both managers at McDonalds should have been mature enough to realize I wouldn't expect to do this for free? My daughter said not to worry (sarcastically of course), she is getting the money out of her bank account. I say good for her! It's bad enough that teenagers feel their parents are endless money bags. But she doesn't need to be volunteering my services for free and then expecting me to be spending money on entertainment as well.

S.

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So What Happened?

I agree that my daughter should have been with that little girl all day. But it's even more than that. She is 16 years old. She's not old enough to be legally responsible for a child in a daycare situation. It doesn't matter that the mother looked at it like my daughter was doing her a favor. Because I am an established daycare, I would have been responsible if something had happened to the child or if I had too many kids. I don't think my daughter will be doing this again. I was very upset at her all day long because she showed pretty much no interest in taking care of the child. She kept telling me that I'd be watching kids anyway so why did it matter that I had one more? I think she was afraid I was going to have words with her boss/friend. She snapped up the girl and her things and met her in the driveway when she came to get the child.

More Answers

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi Suzi, No you are not wrong what so ever. I even think that your daughter should do more than just pay you. There is no daycare that watches children for free unless it is family members. It seems to me that your daughter is disrespecting you and what you do and has no value for what you do or the trouble you could get into for watching to many kids if that was the case. In my opinion that should be a consequence for her doing this (thats just my opinion) and as for the mother does she just not care who is watching her child and has no concerns or questions ??? I think your daughter owes you a little more than just payment for watching this child. In my opinion she should be watching the child herself rather than you, but this still doesn't make up for offering child care to someone else without talking to you first.

As for how you raise "your" daughter and when mine get older also if people don't like the rules I have for my daughters they can take a flying leap for all I care. They are my responsibility and thats it.

Hope this helps you, I don't really know what I would do or say. W.

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S.H.

answers from Tulsa on

You are not worng. However some children choose not to eat what their parents give them. So the child could hove not been lying about that. But I do agree that the mother should have called first.

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B.S.

answers from Kansas City on

You're not wrong at all. And what kind of mother drops her child off sight unseen with the childcare provider?? And expecting not to pay at that? I feel bad for you. Your daughter was wrong to volunteer your services for free, but the mother was wrong not to talk to you personally about it too. And she should have at least packed a lunch for her kid if she thought the care was free. TGIF girl!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Tulsa on

My comment is to remind your daughter that she volunteered the services therefore she should be the one to provide the service.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm shocked the mother didn't atleast pick-up the phone before dropping her child off to confirm what your daughter said. I guess if a someone's daughter would have mentioned their mother would watch my child I would call them 1. to meet them 2. confirm but I don't think I would let any do that for free anyways.
A few of my friends watched my son and didn't expect money, but I still did something for them, i.e. a gift certificate

Personally I think your daughter should pay you the daily rate you charge.

What parent just thinks someone's going to watch their child for free!! I just don't get it.

Best of Luck

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