Another Question About Moving

When we had to make three moves in a year because of buying and selling I looked at a number of real estate sites which offered alot of tips for getting children prepared for moving. My son was only 3-4 then though so not alot of explaing we needed to do just tried our best to keep his routines e.g. bedtime as routine as possible no matter which house we were in. It's been a few years now so I don't have alot of old resources, that I used back then. But most of them were syaing the same things and had the age groups sectioned off. We also involved him when we were praying about each move and allowing him to express what he wanted in his new home. We new then what was important that we could focus on for him after the move to ren-mind him of all the benefit of moving.
Hope this helps.

It sounds like he has actual concerns, rather than a vague fear. So it would probably help to sit with him and let him ask you as many questions as he wants. Maybe have him write a list before hand so he has plently of time to think of exactly what he's worried about and he won't forget in the emotion of the moment. Addressing each concern individually rather than an all encompasing "everything will be fine", may do the trick.
Good luck,
And remember if he behave as if everything is fine, he's more likely to believe it too. So Don't worry too much.

Hi Tammi,

Has he seen the house yet? I know you're making an offer, but that means that there is still time to get with your realtor and let him see it. Get him involved and ask him questions like: Which room would you pick to be yours (as long as it is okay with you) make it a big deal that he is the oldest and he gets to pick first! Ask him where would we put... (e.g. The pots and pans -which kitchen cabinet, or where should the T.V. go or which way should we arrange your bedroom furniture, or which closet do YOU think would be best for us to shelter up in?) How would you like to decorate your "New" room? Maybe his old room was a "little boy's" room and now he wants a "Big Boy's" room? How exciting is that to get to "Pick" your own room AND decorate it?! Take him by the new neighborhood after school and see if there are other kids out playing, riding bikes, etc. Maybe he knows some of them. Please let us know how everything goes and good luck with your bid!!!!

J.

First I applaud you sensitivity, not many moms would think about this. Second, I would talk to him about new things and old things. It probably is one of the few things he has definate memories in. So this is a comfort thing. I would get him involved in packing up his room, and maybe you other children's rooms. I would let him choose colors and decorations for his new room. Let him realize he can control somethings in his life. If it is a matter of missing friends, then once you do move, have a new home get together party. Maybe something that has to do with constructing a play area outside, or a new garden that he can supervise on his own. Keep him busy, but always answer him honestly. Kids know.
Good Luck!
Jen

Heya mama ~ is your son a cancer? Because he sounds JUST LIKE my 8 soon to be 9 year old son :c) ~ anyhoo ~ I see you are an art teacher ~ well, what if you let him decorate his new room ~ pic the color ~ maybe a new piece of furniture ~ or a fun poster or print!! I know its small ~ but it might help ` especially if he is the creative type :c) ~ good luck!! peace W.

Hi Tammi,

We went through the same thing with our son, first move was in the middle of 2nd grade and he had to change schools...one good thing was that we were getting a pool in the new house which he was excited about, so we focused on that. It took him 2 months to adjust to the new school and new kids and then I had a baby, but he is fine now. We are now going to move 2 hours away, which he doesn't want to, he'll be starting 5th grade next year and the exciting thing that we are focusing on now is a big back yard, big enough for a trampoline, so we promised him a trampoline and he is excited abou it...there will be room enough for the dog to run wild too. SO, if there is something special about the new house you can get him excited about, that would be my advice to you. If you can get him to be more specific about exactly what his fears are, then maybe that would help you too. Change is scary for anyone and it's something that he will have to go through at some point in his life, being that children are really resilant I think this will be one of those growing pains that will help more than hurt in the long run. Hang in there...he will be okay and let him cry and go through the emotions, just be there to support him and verbalize understanding what he's going through. The public library may have a book you two can read together about moving...if he is interested at all in nature, maybe you could plant a special tree in the yard of the new house that could be his tree...I've also read about a family that baked a cake the first night they moved in their new house and then did the same every year they were there to mark their anniversary...Best Wishes!