ANOTHER Sleeping Through the Night Question. (& Nap)

first of all every child is different and they all seem to go through this phase at this time. You need to decide what you want to do. We can all give you a hundred different ways to do it. I chose to co sleep as this is how i got the most sleep and my daughter as well. She now goes to bed just fine and sleeps through the night. One day she just did it and that was that, she was ready. Not an option for all, but it was the best for us. Good luck

I just always had my babies in bed with me until they were almost weaning quite a bit (between 2-3 years old) and they never made a peep at night and I didn't lose too much sleep, because I was just pulling up my shirt. No one is disturbed this way. We just put our mattresses on the floor temporarily and it worked out just fine. I'm definitely not a sleep trainer though (there is research that all that crying and neglect harms the brain physically and is permanent damage!!) Thank goodness you haven't done cry-it-out-- big kudos to you for that!! I know sleep deprivation can really take a toll, especially when you're also trying to keep other children asleep!

If you're dead set on putting him a crib, I would try the hot water bottle method, or a heating pad- put the bottle or heating pad to warm the bed before laying him down and REMOVE the item. It does NOT stay in the bed with the baby, but is just there to remove the shock from transitioning from a warm loving body to a cold crib mattress.

Hi! I have 4 boys 17, 12, 4 and 2. They all had different sleep patterns so I know what a challenge this can be. I used Dr. Richard Ferbers book, SOLVE YOUR CHILDS SLEEP PROBLEMS as a guide. I have struggled with wanting to put my 2 and 4 yr. old together in a room for the extra space but havent because they just arnt on the same sleep schedule yet. I would make sure that A. the baby is getting enough daytime sleep. Too much or too little could make him have trouble sleeping at night. B.If you have the room I would put him to sleep in his own room, at least until the sleep patterns are on track with your 2 yr. old. I think you pretty much have answered your own questions. The night time routine sounds good. Nurse your baby, brush his teeth, read to your baby, rock and pray with your baby and then lie him down AWAKE! If he cries go in every 10 min.s pat his back and lie him back down. Repeat for as long as necessary. The next evening do the same thing. Its exhausting I know. But It shouldnt last more than a few days to a week. And honestly, a week of no sleep is better than years of little sleep. My kids always go through phases where we have to reset sleeping patterns. Especially after they have slept in our room with illnesses or after vacation. I would check out the book at the Library. It gives you alot of information as to why they need sleep and how much and what kind! As for if its harder when they are older, I honestly dont know. But, the older they are the smarter they are, the more they remember and the more they can aurgue! I hope this helps!
K.

First off, it sounds like your son has developed a sleep association with being held until he falls asleep. The only way to do this is to help him learn to fall asleep under another set of circumstances. Think of what happens if you fall asleep on the couch, all of a sudden you wake up and you're on the bathroom floor- wouldn't you cry too? The best way to help him is to give him the opportunity to learn to fall asleep in his crib- then when he wakes up in the middle of the night- in his crib where he initially fell asleep - he will roll over, go back to sleep since everything is "where he left it".

The controlled crying it out would be an excellent way to help you accomplish this. This provides reassurance to your child that you haven't left and are there for him if he needs it, and to you as well- so you can see that he is not physically in any harm's way. Complete your bedtime routine as normal- except the part where you let him fall asleep on you or your husband. Instead of that happening, hold him for a minute or two to give him a last minute cuddle- then lay him down in his crib, sleepy but awake. You can tell him "goodnight" or "it's time to sleep". Then leave the room as usual. He'll most likely get up and cry- so after 5 minutes or so, come in, do not touch him or move him, and tell him "sorry- but it's time to sleep", and leave the room again. He'll probably get really mad and cry harder. Wait 10 minutes of solid crying until the next time you check, and then 15 minutes until the next time. Continue to do this at the 15 minute interval for the first night until he finally falls asleep on his own. If at any time you suspect he has a genuine need, like a dirty diaper, by all means take him out and change him- but keep things short and businesslike so he knows that this is the time he's supposed to be sleeping.

The next night- repeat the same thing, only start at 10 for the first check, then 15, then 20. And continue at 20 minutes until he falls asleep on his own. To be honest, this may take up to a week to work (although it only took 2 days with my son, and 3 days with my daughter)- so try and start it at a time that might be a little more convenient for your family (like over a weekend). When I did this with my daughter, she cried for 2 1/2 hours the first night, one hour the next, and then 1/2 hour the third night- and we've never had a problem since.

If your older son wakes up at any time, you can just reassure him that it's okay- and that his little brother is learning how to sleep on his own. He also will adjust to the crying, and will most likely go back to sleep once he knows what's going on, or once your younger son falls asleep. If you want him to share a room with his sibling, then you should leave him be and keep him in that room- because he honestly will have to be used to noises of his younger sibling if he's to sleep in that environment.

It is harder to do the older they get, so I suggest doing it as soon as possible- because once he gets to be 2 years old, his bad habit will be very entrenched and a lot harder to break.

I have had a simmilar experience, my son is 4 and we still are having issues and working thru this. Turns out for my family my son has sensory processing and that does often effect sleep habits and the ability to sleep in general. A few suggestions from my side of the fence:

1. keep a journal for one month
-sleep habits as they are
-feeding/eating habits as they are
-play habits as they are
2. after this one month set up an appt with your child's primary to discuss this journal and your concerns with any/all parenting partners
3. DO NOT be afraid of early childhood intervention evaluations or other precautions your childs doctor may take to address this matter, rather be proud he/she is taking charge in their profession, being a doctor and ordering tests and evaluations
4. this is BIG remember YOU are the PROFESSIONAL when it comes to knowing your child and if you are not satisfied with any outside assistance you can get new professionals in thier feilds but you will NEVER be replaced as your childs PROFESSIOAL.
5. get a hotel room for a night or two to recharge, the more tired and stressed you are about sleep your little one will be too they feel that stuff, it's ok, no one with look down on you for it mommy needs it.

Well wishes to you and you will get it figured out allow yourself to follow the path.

Updated

I feel you, my parent partner feels yours, we have had a difficult road with our 4 year old who has a difficult time sleeping in general. We did a lot of what you did allowing him to sleep in our arms and then transferring all that good stuff! Naps?! what are those??? Turns out for my son, and something you may want to look into, it was one of many other signs (that we had no clue were signs) that my son was not developing properly. Now, my son also had ear infections up the wazoo (got tubes at 2.5yr) and acid reflux diagnosed at 3 mo. With the acid reflux it was better to sleep at an angle and none of the pillows could compare to mommy on the recliner!! Yes, we made some choices that others called mistakes we call them speed bumps! There is no RIGHT way or WRONG way to sleep train your child, at this time we are giving melatonin to our son to sleep per the pediatrician and his occupational therepists recomendation nearly a year ago. We have moved since then and are meeting our new potential pediatrician today, where I will ask to have my son in a sleep study, for me we are now at a point where it is an issue, sensory processing disorder or not.

From my experieces here is what I can offer you
1. keep a detailed journal for 1 month of:
- sleep habits as they currently are
- eating habis as they currently are
- play time habits as they currently are
2. talk to your pediatrician about this journal with your parent partner(s) in this meeting if you can, this is not to tag along with a regular check up this should take place in his office and be more like a meeting of professionals.
3. do not be afraid of early childhood intervention screenings there could be nothing or there could be something and with most the sooner you find out the better.

4. this is the BIG one YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL when it comes to raising your children. You allow other professionals from thier feild to come in and assist but you know your son(s) best and never forget that.

Well wishes to you and your family I know you will find your solution and do not be afraid to get a hotel room for one or two nights to recharge no one will look down upon you for it.

I have a 10 month old little boy who has NEVER been a good sleeper! I finally started doing the "Sleep Lady Shuffle" 2 nights ago and it's actually working!!!!!! The first few nights, I'm sitting by his crib and encouraging him to lie down and settle and when he FINALLY does go to sleep, he's been sleeping GREAT! (only up 1 time each night for a quick pat).
I was SO skeptical...but so far so good! Check out her website!
Good luck!

Although my situation isn't exactly the same as your, I have twins who share a room and went through what you are going through around 1 year old.

My daughter was the first to be sleep trained. I didn't like the idea of shutting the door and being in a different room either, so I separated the twins (one in a p-n-p in my room, one in a crib in their room).

I didn't breast feed, so I don't have experience there. But I have heard from lots of people to feed but keep the baby awake (sounds like he's doing that anyway) so the baby doesn't depend on that soothing to sleep. Does he use a pacifier or have a favorite blanket to sooth with?

I did the cry-it-out method, but the controlled crying like you mentioned. I would actually lay on my bed for 5 minutes (staring at the clock) and then go lay her down, rub her back (no words or shushing) and then wait 10 minutes, then 15, etc. It took about 3-4 days both at naps (they were still taking 2 at that time) and night time and I thought I was losing it! But then, at about 5-6 days, it started to really work! Sticking it out really is the key, as hard as it is. After a week I felt comfortable leaving the room for the first 5 minutes and then that was it.

Once both kids were doing well (a few weeks) I put them back in the same room. Of course we still had those moments when one would cry and we would race in and out not to wake the other, but then we started to let them cry in the same room and they actually got used to it.

My kids are now 2 1/2 and have been great sleepers since then. I moved them to twin beds (they were catapulting out of their cribs every night) at 2 years old and they still continue to sleep great, for about 85% of the time.

Whatever you do, the first few days won't be easy (I'm not going to lie) but it is TOTALLY worth it and you'll be glad you did it - it pays off. Best of luck!!

I would put him in another room (not yours). It sounds like you are doing things differently with the second child because you don't want him to interfere with the first child's sleep. You will have an easier time with sleep training if he is out of range of the first child.

Good luck!

I would take the little one out of the room for a while so at least you won't have 2 little guys with little or no sleep.

I think your mistake here is that you allow the little one to fall asleep in your or your husband's arms. He's not learning to soothe himself to sleep, so when he wakes during the night (which is normal, don't we all at least semi-wake up during the night?), he doesn't know how to comfort himself back to sleep.
You didn't mention anything about a pacifier, and if he's not taking one, he won't at this age and really shouldn't this late in the game.
Try a "lovey." My son uses the single-ply Gerber cloth diapers for his "lovey," mainly because they're easily replaced if he loses one. You may have to do some CIO for a while, until he learns how to soothe himself to sleep.
I don't think I've ever put my son in his crib asleep. He's usually sleepy, but never fully asleep. Many nights, I can hear him talking to himself for about 5-10 minutes before he fully nods off.

Couple of things that worked for us:
1. Follow the routine..consistently
2. Keep the room Dark.
3. Have the room temperature at night 5 points lower than during the day.
4. Make hem sleepy not sleep, so he learns to fall asleep on his own.
5. Get your older kid involved with infants routine, to cu;tivate they belong together.
6. I do not bathe my daughter seems she gets fresh after that.
7. Have white noise - humidifier/ fan in room (will alos help to lower temerature)
8. Get some sleep yourself!

Thank you for helping your MOM, even though you are in midst of sleep challanges..

Hope it helps you get some ZZZZ's

We actually had the same problem with our son, he would refuse to slip in his crib at 6 months. We tried everything. We finally realized (after he slept in a bed peacefully over Christmas vacation) it was because his sister who is 5 had a bed to sleep in. He wanted to be a big boy and sleep in a bed too. So we got a mattress and laid it on the floor, we even got him a flat toddler pillow that is perfect because it is safe and they can't suffocate themselves with it. (It's not a thick pillow its almost just like a little bump but it ads to the being a big boy with a pillow). Did the same routine we always did before bed, just like your routine. Put him to bed that night sat next to the bed and he fell right asleep no crying at all. Slept all night without waking up. We wish we would have realized this earlier then we might have gotten sleep for 3 months. Let me know if this works for you also. It just might be a 2nd child thing. I had no problems with my daughter sleeping in her crib that turned into a day bed till she was 3. They don't put this information about the second child in a book that I've seen.