Anxiety About Going Back to Work

Is this same woman who you mentioned wanted $70 for one hour the one who will be watching your daughter? If so, don't do it. by her remark alone on this being a "business" would send me running, and, yes, that is OUTRAGEOUS to charge that amount! I have never heard of someone doing this. As for being terrified, I completely understand. My daughter is now 17 months, but she went into daycare around 14 months and only myself and my mother had watched her. Your daughter is probably starting to go through seperation anxiety, which starts around the age of 1. So, mine was also going through this too at the time, and didn't even want me out of the room when we visited my mom (whom she saw everyday). I was a wreck when I first had to leave my daughter, and bawled like a baby in the parking lot, but her daycare completely understood, as they had been through this many times before. They called me throughout the day and gave me updates. yes, my daughter cried the first few times I left her, but as soon as she was distracted by all the fun toys, she was fine. In less than a week, she barely would blink an eye when I left her. Actually, it was harder on me than it was on her. Now my daughter loves going to the facility because she gets to run and play all day long. I guess my advice would be to do some more checking on various providers until you feel really comfortable. maybe having someone come to your home would work better, like you mentioned. I would, though, not leave your daughter with this woman yoou mentioned. Good luck, trust me, it will get easier...if you'd like info. on where I take my daughter, just email me.

It sounds like your daughter is starting to go through seperation anxiety. She will be OK, I promise. It will definately be harder on you than her for your daughter to be in daycare/with a sitter. I've been through it myself and it WILL get easier. :)

About the $70 charge- the woman is absolutely correct in that she is running a business and so she can charge what she likes. However, I agree that it's a little outrageous. As long as she is being reasonable in all other aspects & your gut tells you your daughter will be well taken care of, I'd say you're OK to leave her with this woman. Even though she won't get the benefit of a slow transition, your daughter will adjust very quickly.

would the lady still charge you if you stayed with here for an hour or so at her house so she could adjust. It sounds to me like the lady has had some bad luck and bad parents in the past who have made here set up these rules. Did you sign a contract with her for when she starts full time? What your daughter is going though is normal. My kids have been in both a home daycare and are now with a nanny. When my son was an only child, I felt the home daycare was the best, he had other kids to play with and it helped him grow. Now that I have two, they have each other, so I prefer the nanny, becuase she takes them to gymnastics class, my daughter to dance class, picks them up from pre-school, etc. So there are advantages to both, but if I had a one year old and not other kids at the time, I would be looking for a home daycare. I hope that helps.

Hi J.,

I couldnt help nut notice that you mentioned how much you love being with your daughter! I am like that with my son, which is why I changed the situation.... have you ever thought about working from home to be with her more?

As for the $70 it is typical for places to have flat rates or minimums. I have one for my home childcare as well. However for the first week most people will also be a little more laxed since they know it helps to transition. Most places will have a daily rate. Like for me I allow the Friday before the expected start date and I just charge a fair daily rate. Then the families can use Friday to try it out and then have the weekend to kind of recoupe and start with a full week on Monday. With this lady having the $70 minimum have you asked if you can do 2/3 short days that first week ...basically get your $70 worth but nothing more? You had mentioned one day the first week and one the next but why not put them both in the same week?
I agree with Mi R. about the seperation. Your daughter will pickup on your cues... so if your nervous she will be as well. You are already showing that you are a bit worried and you have also said that she is already starting to cling to you. The more uncomfortable you are now and on the first day the worse it will be for your daughter. So try to be positive and trust your decision in a childcare provider. It is important for your daughter to know you trust her with this person and that you will return in the evening to pick her up.
Next, I also agree with Mi R. about the length you should stay. I always tells this to the new families that enroll in my home childcare. The longer you stick around the harder it is on the child. For instance if your daughter cries at drop off but you just give her a big hug & kiss and then say something like "Mom has to go to work but .... (provider's name) will take good care of you and I will be back soon", then leave. If you do this the crying will stop within a minute I promise! However if you stick around for 5-10 minutes after that then your daughter doesn't know when the good bye is actually happening and when your just saying it, which will creat distrust and will also encourage her to cry in case you might come back again... thus making her crying last more like 5 minutes after you leave and possibly even more often then should be throughout the day... just to see if you will return simply because she is crying. This of course makes things much harder on your daughter and the provider.
Ok wew that was just a long winded way of saying try to make yourself comfortable so that your daughter can feel comfortable and secure.
HOPE THAT HELPS!!!
N.

Although the $70 is very pricey, I can imagine that this woman does not want to turn her regular business of childcare into a drop-in babysitting service. I'm going to bet that she only wants kids to come into her home that are going to be regularly cared for and not just some random mom looking for a last minute babysitter, creating an environment that would be disruptive to the regular daily routine. (Please note, I'm not suggesting that is what you are doing, I'm just trying to shed some light on her motive).

The separation will be harder on you than on her (or so every daycare provider I've heard from has said). The first few days will probably be tough but she'll be absolutely fine. I know it will be tough not to do, but try not to turn the drop off into an over-the-top drama fest. If you're crying and lingering there for 5-10-30 minutes it will only make it harder and harder for her. If you're upset, she'll be upset. On the car ride there, act really excited like she is going to the coolest place in the world and talk about how much fun she is going to have. When you get there, give her a hug and a kiss goodbye, with a promise that you will return, then leave.

Good luck to you!

Hi J.,

How your daughter is acting is normal at that age. Most kids tend to begin to cling to one parent or another around that time. My son cried when I left the room, even if he was with daddy. That is a ridiculous price for one hour a day. My kids go to day care and my son loves it being able to play with other kids. My daughter is too young to play with others but she is just fine when I leave her even though she cries if I take her to her aunts on a weekend night. I myself prefer a daycare over homecare for various reasons. If you want more of my opinion on that send me and email. The one downside to daycare is that when the children switch rooms, they have to get used to a new caregiver and you have to go through the process all over again. They do transition the kids a few hours every day over a two week period but it is still hard on them.

Good luck.

C.