Z.B.
Good for you for breastfeeding and for trying to take control of your anxiety. I struggle with anxiety, too. It is hard to explain to people how our fears go beyond jitters and butterflies in your stomach. Anxiety can be paralyzing and, at least for me, can make a person physically ill. I realize that some of my fears are irrational but I can't get control over them.
I do not like to take pills/meds of any kind. I do not use artificial birth control, either. Though Natural Family Planning works great for me, I still have to be aware of the potential for being pregnant at any time. When my doctor suggested Zoloft, I declined because of this potential. He then suggested guided imagery as a possible solution. He let me borrow a CD by Belleruth Naparsteck that uses guided imagery and affirmations as a way to combat stress, anxiety and the physical side effects. This is not a panacea but it I do feel more relaxed and more in control after less than one week of listening. It is a cheap, safe option to try. No pills, not danger to your nursing daughter, etc. There are TONS of books to help one deal naturally with the type of anxiety you are having - social anxiety - fear of getting up in front of crowds,etc. Feel good that you know what sets your anxiety off. My fears ERUPT while I am driving. (Bridges over water especially!) I never really know what it will be or when I will get set off.
My other suggestion would be (I know this is hard as I breast fed all 3 of my children for over a year) to wean your daughter so that you can comfortably take your medication. At 20 months she can stop nursing without any problem and you won't feel anxious about her health. All of the worries and stress of everyday life compound the anxious feelings you are having. Try to eliminate or gain control of some of those other things.
good luck!