Any 40 Something New Moms?

Hi, my mother-in-law was in her 40's when she had my husband, and there were no and he is in fine health, and as far as I know, she did great.

I had my oldest daughter at 38 years old and my youngest at 42 years old. I was considered high risk because of my age and my previous problems, but my pregnancy was fine........I would suggest doing the triple test. I refused the amnio but I did the triple test. I would say go for it if you would like another child!

Hi A.,

I have a friend who got married at 39, had her first child at nearly 41 and her second at nearly 43. Their daughter is 8 1/2 and their son is 7. Both were healthy and are still doing well. Mom was ok too! :o)

H.

Hi Annemarie,

I had my 1st child at the age of 35 and my second at the age of 41. I can tell you that your risk of chromesomal (sp?) defects definately goes up as you age, but you can have an amniosynthesis (sp?) to check for those early in your pregnancy. There are a lot of women who are waiting longer to have children (after they establish themselves in their careers or just because they don't meet Mr Right until later - they are getting harder to find! :-)) If you really want another child, go talk to a High Risk Pregnancy OB/GYN I saw one at IU hospital, but I don't remember the name (my daughter is six now, it's been awhile!). They can give you the most information. Good luck to you.

C.

After years and years of being told I would never conceive, I got pregnant with my first at 39 and delivered her at 40. I was put on bed rest at 33 weeks due to extremely high blood pressure and then had a semi-emergency c-section at 36+ weeks. I conceived my second at 41 and delivered her at 42. My second pregnancy was a piece of cake ... no high blood pressure, no bed rest, no excess weight gain, etc. I'm happy to report that both of my daughters are as healthy as can be! By the way, I'm now 44 years old and my oldest daughter turned 4 today. :)

Well, I conceived my son when I was 39 and had him right before I turned 40. I had a great pregnancy and I really, really enjoyed it. Last time I was pregnant before that was 20 years ago! I did end up having gestational diabetes but was able to control it with my diet, so it was really no big deal and my baby was 6lbs 6oz at birth although statistics said that gestational diabetes could cause a larger baby. Obviously, that was not true in my case. I also only gained 12 lbs throughout the pregnancy (I gained a lot more when I was pregnant the first time around), which was cool with me. Anyway, all in all, I loved being pregnant later in life. I could enjoy it at a much slower pace. I say: "Go for it. You'll not regret it!"

I was 35 with my first & had what I would say was more problems. I was put on bed rest with early pre-eclampsia. I was 38 with my second & felt great all thru. I do have high blood pressure. The meds worked better with the second one. Also, developed gestational diabetes. The doctors, would probably argue about the problems, but I felt better. I also had doctors that seemed to go worse-case scenerio all the time. Try not to let them scare you. It's one thing to let you be aware of the risks, it's a totally different thing to treat you like that. My daughter was 6# 12 oz. Also with the scare of a large baby. The ultrasounds aren't that great at predicting the size. I do think that dr.s think of these pregnancies as high risk, but if you got a great doctor, you can also have a great pregnancy.

Hi A. - I am expecting my 2nd child in May and I turned 40 in January. I had my first son when I was 38. It took us a little longer to conceive our 2nd child but have had a normal pregnancy so far. Good luck to you. There are a lot of us in our late 30's - early 40's having kids. I honestly believe my children are going to keep me young!

I was born 5-30-63

had baby girl 6-5-90
miscarriage in betweeen girls
another girl 10-20-93

thought we were done

had our blessing (that I cried about for 2 weeks when I found out I was pregnant AGAIN) a boy born 9-17-02

I just wish I was younger without so many aches and pains to raise this little one - but I had more help with the girls being old enough to help a lot. Plus my hubby cut way down on his work hours since we had been able to save a little as compared to when we first started out.

I tell everyone that you should never have an ONLY CHILD.

Just remember your how old you will be when your child is graduating (we don't think of down the road sometimes) - If it is God's will, He will allow you to have another one. We have much fun and good times with our last child that I would recommend it! If you are in shape, it will be easier for you than it was for me. Plus you WANT another one LOL

Be blessed!

Well, I am a 45 yr. old mom of a 27 yr. old, almost 17 yr. old (boys) and an 8 yr old daughter. I have been married to my 2nd husband for 18 years and we also have a dog.

I have to say I loved being pregnant the most the third time. I was older, more settled in my skin and more relaxed about just about everything. And then having a girl after 2 boys! Wow, what a difference. They sure make cute stuff for little girls...:)

The two things that were and are the hardest about being an "older" mom are: 1) I had gestational diabetes which they wanted to treat w/insulin shots. And 2) some days I don't have the energy I did with my boys. Grant it, I have had some health problems as I got a little older with fibromyalgia, but some days I do feel a bit selfish and guilty for having another child. My husband is 50 now and we both find that although we consider ourselves fairly healthy people, sometimes we just don't have it in us.

I would like to address the insulin situation. When I was diagnosed they had just passed a law that allowed nurse practitioners to write prescriptions. As soon as I saw her and she read my chart she told my she was prescribing insulin by injection. I told her I would never do such a thing without first checking out all options. She was not happy and I had to sign away saying I refused treatment. No problem!

I then literally walked right around the corner from their office to a nutritionist that was actually part of their practice. She was horrified that she (n. practitioner) tried to put me on insulin. She gave me a food chart that showed what I could eat and in what amounts, and that was it. I did have to prick my finger every day and I will say, if you ever get gest. diabetes, DO NOT EAT Chinese food! I was off the charts! ( I also think I had the diabetes w/the boys too, just not diagnosed). All three of my kids were either 10 lbs.
or close to it. #1 kid: 10 lbs. 22 1/2 in. #2: 9 lbs 15 1/2 oz. and 22 in. #3: 9 lbs. 15 oz. and 21 1/2 in.! And you see how far apart in age they are, plus the first has a different father. Not sure of my point, but thought I would share!

After reading one of the responses I thought of something to add. The docs did want to give me an amnio, (the needle in the belly deal) to check for problems, but my husband and I felt the same way. If there was something wrong, we would still have our child, and since there was a risk that they could poke the amniotic sac, we voted no thanks. They also said according to their tests against stats, we were in a high percent of having a downs child. So we suffered through that thought for awhile. Eventually though, we were told the baby was fine and it should be a perfect delivery.

If you are a healthy person, feel good mentally and physically, I see no reason to have another child. Just do the math though. Remember how old you will be when he/she is 5, 10, 15 etc. Like I said before, I do have those days that my daughter wants to go somewhere and I just cannot do it. But the good outweighs the bad by far, and I would do it all over again because I have the most wonderful angel in the world...

Good luck in whatever direction you and your husband choose to go...

R.

Hi, I want you to know that my parents were near 41 when they had me. I have 2 older sisters and an older brother, who are all old enough to be my parents! There are a LOT of people chosing to have children when they are older than 20 something! :) Because of this, though, there are many sets of twins being born. How wonderful would it be to be blessed twice at once. I am the only female in my family to not have a child at or after 40, and everyone turned out just fine! (I had 8, but finished at 31) If you and your husband want another child, then go for it. As you know by your first child, there is nothing more wonderful than a baby. Just do everything your doctor says. Good Luck and God Bless.

A.,

Really, you are not THAT old.
My Grandma had my Dad when she was 42, and his little brother (her 6th and last) when she was 44.

Take good care of yourself, and raise your children well.

Best wishes,
K.

I had my 4th child, a daughter, at age 41. My husband was 47. I was in my 20's when I had my first 2 kids and in my 30's for #3. I had a miscarriage at age 40 (actually on my 40th birthday), so I thought for sure that we would have no more children. It was my greatest joy and blessing to become pregnant after that. My pregnancy was healthy with no complications. The birth was also uncomplicated. Our daughter is now 6 years old and doing great - already in 1st grade! Of course, I tire more easily than when I was younger but I also find parenting much less stressful and more enjoyable at this age. I would strongly encourage you to follow your heart - good luck and many blessings!

I had my last son at 36, and boy, let me tell you... I have very little energy for anything else at the end of they day. The biggest problem with having another after 40, besides medical risks, is that physically it is so hard to keep yourself "up" for all that they can throw at you. You really need to consider how old you will be at landmark years for that child. Things like graduation, college, marriage, children... that child would want parents active in those times too.
I am a 44 year old mom of 4 boys ranging from 17 down to 9. I totally enjoy them, but at 40 I am far more tired with the antics of the 9 year old than I was in my 30's.

A.,

I had my first child just a few weeks before turning 40 and am planning on having a second in about a year. My sister had her fourth at the age of 43 and my friend had both of her daugthers atfter she was 38. As long as you are healthy, there is no need to worry. The nice thing is that because you are considered a "high risk pregnancy" because of "advanced maternal age", almost all extra ultra-sounds, amnios and genetic screens are covered by insurance.

I had absolutely no problems with my pregnancy or delivery and neither did my sister or friend. It was funny that I was considered high risk because I was probably less risk than some other women ten years younger than myself. There is still this mindset that once you hit age 35 you will not have a normal, healthy pregancy or child.

I personally think it's better to have a child when you are older because you are more mature yourself and you will take better care of yourself during your pregnancy and it is easier to handle raising an infant.

Don't worry about it, just take good care of yourself and take advantage of all the screening that's offered to you and covered by your insurance. Good Luck!

N.

Well A., I am no longer a new mom, but I have been in your shoes. I was 42 when my 4th one was born (she is 3 1/2 yrs old now). I had no complications with my pregnancy or delivery. My daughter was born a healthy 8 lbs and has had no complications. I did find that I got tired easier. As long as I stuck to healthy food, I felt fine. I was not able to give in to some of my unhealthy cravings, as they made me feel sluggish. Women after forty are just as capable of having healthy, normal pregnancies and births as women in their 20's. Sometimes I think it is easier because we know what we want and don't want, making it harder for outside influence. I would also like to mention that if you find the right Dr. it is not always necessary to have all those invasive tests of long ago. I wish you all the best - Congratulations!!

R.

I had my baby at almost 39 and everything in the pregnancy was perfect. I had to deliver c section which I didn't want but I had complications(low blood pressure and a weak heart rate on the baby during contractions)The baby was 8 lbs and perfectly healthy, sweetest boy in the world! My doctor was 8 months pregnant at the time she delivered my boy and at 43 her pregnancy was fine also(although her baby was mighty big and she was mighty small!!)They are really good at checking us pregnancy at advanced maternal age folks. The scariest part was the test for downs syndrome. I declined the amnio but did the quad. I figured regardless of results I was having and loving my baby. Other than that all was very smooth. I would imagine much more tiring than if I had been younger but smooth nonetheless!! Good Luck!!

My mother was 42 when she had my little sister. My little sister is now attending Ball State University with honors. =) She's been such a blessing to everyone! I loved being older (12 yrs old) when my mom had another baby. And I know my mother has not regretted one day!!!

*on a side note, I would just like to mention one struggle that my mother has had having a child later in life. Now that my mom is 62, and still has a child to help put through college, she's having a difficult time saving for retirement. Just food for thought =)

Best of luck to you!!!

I had my first one at 38 and had my second one at 43. The only problem I had was major swelling, but that isn't necessarily related to the age factor.

I also now have horrible bladder control issues which might be a little more related to age, but yet I know of younger women who have those problems.

Since you've already had one, even if several years ago, that is a plus on your side. That means you CAN carry one. As long as you take care of yourself, TAKE the pre-nate vitamins (this is the number one factor against birth defects).
You can as early as 4 months in pregnancy, have tests done to determine if they can find any problem with the baby. Partly because of my age, I did that with both of mine. They are fine.

I am a daughter of a mother who was 44 when she had me. My mother had no complications due to age but had some due to health related problems, nothing at all to do with her age. I am now 33 and have 3 wonderful children of my own. so, i say good luck, follow the doctor's orders to the t and everything will be fine. remember, it is god's will to bring little ones into this world.

hi i am 42 had my daughter at 40 and my son at 41. more and more older parents are getting to be common. i wouldn't worry. just have a good doc and watch your health and eating and exercise some and pray. all should be fine. a good doc will take care of you. they may actually be a little overprotective but you want a healthy baby and mommy too. wouldnt sweat it...mine were both c's due to severe endometriosis and pelvic problems on my end...we cant have any mroe unless a miracle on God's part but we have had two miracles with our kids. we tried for 5 years found out i had endo and had surgury to clean me out so to speak and was given 8 months to conceive before the endo clogged everything up and we had our daughter then our son, starting close to the 8 month deadline given so to speak. God has blessed us mightly. lee ann

I am 42 and gave birth to my 5th child a year ago March 20th. I think that if you want to have a child you might want to consider what you would do if you knew it would not be a perfect baby. The ob's will sound as if they are pushing you to do testing, an amnio, triple check, etc. I had the triple check done just so I would know if every thing was all right. (My husband I would not have an abortion and would accept what ever God gave us.)They also do a more intensive ultrasound with some measurements that can tell you if there may be issues with the baby. I really believe they are more pushy with women over 40 because there is statistically more risk of having issues. (my ob was not pushy at all) I think they are trying to offer everything so that they can not be sued if there is a problem. I can understand that. Plus you are automatically placed in a higher risk category just because of your age.

There a lot more over 40 women having babies now. Good luck if you want to join them. You will not regret it.

L.

I was 42 when my son was born 4 years ago. My pregnancy was very uneventful (except for some excess weight gain) and my son turned out very healthy. My delivery was an unplanned C-section, but that worked out well too. My OB/GYN is the same age I am and had just come back from her own maternity leave when I started going to her, so she takes 40+ pregnancy in stride.

Good luck!
Karen

My friend just had her second and turned 41 on her due date:) Both daughters are thriving!

A. -

I had my first daughter when I was 38, my second when I was 42. Both were healthy, normal pregnancies and quick, uncomplicated births. Look for a health care professional who doesn't automatically treat you as high risk, but instead follows the indications as your pregnancy progresses.

I was fortunate enough to work with an amazing midwifery practice for both girls. They offered great guidance on how to have a healthy pregnancy, and were wonderful support for my out-of-hospital, unmedicated births. Lots of people thought I was nuts, but I didn't have any birth "horror stories".

It is a different energy level you bring to your child's life, but it's also a different level of focus and maturity. There are certainly days when I'm ready to go to bed when they are, but mostly I just enjoy being older and aware enough to enjoy my girls at each developmental stage.

There are those occasions when someone asks me about my "grandchildren", but those are few and far between, and the girls think it's funny. My husband and I like to think they are keeping us young.

A.

If you are high energy and in good health and up for the challenge, then go for it!!

Hi. I had my youngest at the age of 40. I have one son,age 26,one daughter,age 17,and my youngest son is 6! I had a normal pregnancy,maybe a few more ultra-sounds and the amnio test,but if you take good care of yourself, there's no reason to worry. You should talk with your obgyn to get more information,if you are in good health,he will explain the risks and the odds of any potential problems.Goodluck! J. B.

11 years ago, I gave birth to my 2nd daughter. I was 39 years old (3 months short of turning 40). We had tried for about a year to get pregnant, and then after I broke my ankle, had to have surgery and was off work for 8 weeks, I ended up getting pregnant. Go figure!

She was/is healthy, and is a wonderful child. I think she helps keep me and my husband young! So young in fact that 8 months ago we adopted a third daughter from China that's 18 months old!!! Some people think we're crazy, but she too has been a joy. I can't say that there aren't times when I'm tired, but I wouldn't change it for anything!!
M.

I had a daughter at 36, a son at 39 and another son at 43. Although my 3rd child was not planned I had a great pregnancy with him. Actually , I had an easier pregnancy with him than I did my second child. I am someone who does my best to eat healthy and I work out consistently. I continued to work out until the 9th month on all three of my pregnancies (including when I was 43). I had a healthy baby boy. He is now 3 1/2 and doing great, as am I. Also, I know personally of 4 other women who have had healthy children in their 40's. As I am sure you are aware, the risk of having a child with Down's Syndrome does increase as the mother gets older so that is something you will want to consider carefully. For us and the other women I know, it all worked out. Best of luck to you and your husband as you make this decision.

Please don't worry. I was told at 23 I'd never have childeren, then at 32 I was in a horrible auto accident. I was in a coma for 6 weeks and my family was told if I ever woke up I'd never walk or talk again. Well I recovered and at 36 became pregneant. The doctor I went to had a fit "I was too old to have a baby". I had a healthy baby boy. I then had two miscarriages six months apart. So I thought one baby was enough. Well I got pregnant again about nine months later. After the two miscarriages, I was scared to death. But I delivered a healthy baby, two weeks early, but healthy and whole. Just eat right and take care of yourself. I was in college at the time I had my last son, but I ate right and got the rest I needed. You'll be fine. I had my son in Jan. and was 40 in July. I didn't have morning sickness or problems with my pregnancies, except for the two miscarriages. My doctor said the miscarriages were genetic.

I just turned 43 and have a wonderful almost 5 month old. He is cute as a button and we are very happy. I also have a 3 and 5 year old. I am happy to be blessed with this child and considered four but after this pregnancy I feel at my age 3 is enough. If you are in decent shape and have a happy demeanor and feel up to the challenge then go for it. I would not trade him for the time clock. Think about it this way....if you are asking all of us to respond to you ...then you know you in your heart you want to do it...so go for it. Get all the over 35 testing done including an amniocentsis.....then you will be completely prepared. Good Luck.

A.:

Hello there! What I would highly recommend is that you remain healthy. I know of a great product if you're interested. This product is breaking records near and far. It is known to make an impotent man become the opposite. It's considered the Viagra of naturopathics. If you'd like more information, you can message me.

Have a blessed day!

M.

hi A.,im T. and me myself has not but i have a very dear friend who at the age of 42 conceived and had a healthy baby girl. and like yourself she to was very concerned about the well being of herself and the baby. but after talking with her doctor who knew her health and lifestyle he gave her a thumbs up. she exercised and maintained a healthy diet and did great. i feel as long as your willing to do the same as my friend did then you to can have a beautiful little you. so goodluck,congradulations and let me know what happens.

Hi A.,

I agree with the other mommies go for it..........I had tried for years and gave up then I and got pregnant at 40....delivered him at 41 no complicatons except he was breech.........I worked up until the day I had him and felt pretty good had bad days of course but nothing to complain about and breastfeed him for a year I'm 44 now and we are trying for number 2 since he is such a joy!!!! good luck

After being told for 22 years that I would never be able to conceive and have a baby....I got pregnant at 39. I had my son 2 months before my 40th birthday. I had NONE of the testing because I wouldn't consider an abortion. The only thing I allowed was 2 level 2 ultrasounds...because I wanted to see him :) He's perfect. Was born c-section because they thought he was going to be huge. He was 8 lbs 2 ozs and 21 inches long. Thankfully we had the c-section because he had a knot in his cord that was close enough to his body that would have caused an issue if we had delivered naturally. We breastfeed, I make my own baby food and he's the sweetest most loved baby. My parents last grandchild is 17 years old. This is my MIL's first grandchild. We are trying for another now that he's almost 8 months old.

Best wishes and blessings!
Jacq

Hi A., my sister got re-married and decided to have kids. So @ 38 and 40, my sister got pregnant. Both pregnancies went great and there were no problems at all. So go for it, and enjoy the most beautiful gift you will ever receive from GOD. Good luck.

"DO NOT BE AFRAID". I am 41 and just had my 4th! Yes, it's harder as we get older, but she has been a tremendous blessing to our family. I always try to keep in mind that God does not make mistakes, and menopause happens late 40s-50, therefore we should trust.

I had my son right at 40. I'm now 42 and he is 2. I also have a 14 yr old son. I had alot of complications with my 14 yr old (gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, bad delivery with inducement, 23 hr labor. With my 2 year old I didn't have any of these complications and had a fast delivery and delivered natural with no meds. I like you was scared. It takes alot more energy these days with a 2 yr old than when I had my other son but my little guy is well worth it. It is only a season in life. Good Luck and God Bless. Keep us posted. Anymore questions let me know. C.