Any Advice? - Framingham, MA

I found that my husband was right on this one. It was a waste of time and money. If I was to do it over again I would not have wasted my day. Everyone I know that already had kids told me not to waste my time either but I felt it was my "duty" to go and that I owed it to my baby. It felt more like a health education class and believe me, you don't remember the breathing techniques....

I'm a Birthing From Within childbirth teacher -- I have to go get my daughter to school right now, but I'll be around this afternoon if you want to contact me privately -- I can send you my phone number.

my website is www.birthinawareness.com

Hi R.,

It is perfectly normal to feel anxious about the little one's arrival, but you will be fine without taking a birthing class. Your body will know what to do. Just stay positive and know you can do it. Remember to breathe during contractions and listen to the nurses/doctor/midwife whoever is helping you with the delivery.

A few things the dad would learn in childbirth class - mom is always right during labor (LOL), don't eat in the room during labor (dad should pack a few snacks in case labor is long, but step into the hallway to eat them)

This is really an exciting time. Just enjoy it and your baby girl will be here soon enough. Good luck and congrats!

I'm with Katie (the previous poster). You are going to be just fine. I teach childbirth ed classes and my 20 mo old was born naturally at a birthing center with midwives. The biggest part of a childbirth class is to help you to understand that our bodies were created to give birth and know exactly how to do it if we let it, but going with the flow. As far as techniques, your nurse or midwife will help with that so don't worry a bit. Your job is to stay calm and let, like you said, that little girl decide when her time is- she'll come when she's ready to deal with life on the outside. She's just got a few more thinks to do! Talk to her about what that might be, it'll calm you both down. There is one big point, and I've seen this many times.... during your birth there will come a time when you just don't think you can do it anymore because it's been a while since the "labor" began. That's completely normal and one of the BEST signs because it's the sign that says you're almost there. Literally just minutes away. Tell that to pappa. Seriously, when you say you just can't do it anymore, he's got to tell you what a wonderful job you're doing and that it's going to be just a few more minutes and she'll be there. For some great last minute reading the second half of this book is a easy read on what to expect the process to be and how he can help. I don't teach this method of childbirth (and the first have is the technique) but the support persons part is some of the most helpful, easy to read, and true to life info I've seen. Good luck. We know you can do it...... we're moms afterall.... http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Childbirth-Bradley-Way-Revi...

Hi. My hus and I didn't do classes either. They recommend lots of positions, moving around as much as possible, rocking/slow dancing with your partner, a whirlpool, using a birthing ball, rice socks, etc. Don't be afraid to try them or refuse them. I personally wasn't comfortable with the ball, and though skeptical about the whirlpool, tried it and LOVED it (not to give birth in, but to help relax in during labor), also, normally I love rice socks, but at that time they made me want to throw up... just remember, whatever anyone tells you, everyone is different and this will be your experience!!! One thing I read and agree with, eat light!!! They let me have a big dinner, which tasted great, and then came up a few hours later...I had no idea that I could throw up like that, but was told after that it was normal. Let your partner and nurses know what you are feeling. (normally I am a touchy-feely type person, well, during labor, someone rubbing my belly was the last thing I wanted) And remember, your due date is just an estimate of when they think you got pregnant, based on when you think your last period was. Bring comfortable footwear, loose comfy clothes, and an OLD bathrobe (that you can throw out if it gets stained), or use multiple hospital johnnies to be covered (you know one as a regular johnny and one as a bathrobe), when you roam the halls. And remember no question is dumb! Just ask, and the staff has heard just about anything! Bring a journal and your digital camera and extra batteries. And bring your baby book if you're doing one, so many things I thought I'd never forget, are memories now because I wrote them down. Hope some of this helped! W. Huff

Ignorance is bliss.

Honestly, the best advice I can give is to first, relax, second is to trust yourself and your body. Trust in nature.

Thank sounds really hokey, but I DID go through those classes and they made me feel so much anxiety!
I was in labor all day and was told she was just turning. Then when I got to the hospital I was already 8cm. Sure, there were intense moments, but I just let them be.. I didn't fight them & just let the "waves" ebb and flow. If you try to fight against/control them, they tend to be worse!

My philosophy was that "you know what's going to happen, so why do you need to see a dvd with another woman screaming like a banshee? Plus, that is her experience, not necessarily yours.

Lastly, keep the lines of communications open with your ob/gyn or midwife!

Good luck! This is an exciting time, and while it seems impossible & you don't know what to do, your body really does.

M.

PS I got there too late for drugs.. and except for one moment- the tear- it was all more intense pressure than excruciating pain. It was like the worst menstrual cramps of my life. (But that was me~)

Don't worry - There will be enough doctors and nurses around to guide you through whatever help you will need. Good luck and just enjoy your baby! I will say a prayer for you that she decides to show up soon! :)

Dear R. - I know exactly what you're going through. I was a bit nervous and doubted whether my husband and I should take this class, so after talking to some people, they said it really wasn't necessary, so we didn't take this class either. My theory was that this child is going to come no matter what so I just went with the flow. Luckily enough, my husband was a volunteer firefighter earlier in his life and had some experience with deliveries, so he was a great coach. Unfortunately I wasn't able to have an epidural for the birth of our son, but my husband made sure that I concentrated on slowing my breathing down during my contractions, and what a big difference this made, plus whatever they put in my IV helped too. Believe it or not, it all DOES work out in the end and the nurses and the doctor's know exactly what they're doing. Plus, when everyone says your motherly instincts kick in, they're telling the truth.
By the way, if your hospital offers a "dinner for two", definitely get it - it's worth it!
Good luck to you and your husband on the birth of your daughter - you will do just fine!

M. S

Hi R.,

I know what it's like to be overdue. My kids were 5 and 6 days overdue. It's very hard. I did take the birthing class and to be honest, none of it really helped when it got down to the nitty gritty. I'll save you the long story, but with my first, I had the idea that I wouldn't need any drugs or an epidural. Well, after 27 hours of labor and only being 2 cm, I had to be induced so I opted for the epidural. It allowed me to get some rest before the really hard part - pushing the baby out. Well after 2 1/2 hours of pushing he came out. It was long and difficult, but we all survived. With my second, it was completely different. A few hours of contractions, went to the hospital, sat in the jacuzzi tub for about 45 mintutes, breathed through it all, pushed for 20 minutes and she was out. No drugs, epidural or anything. I know how nervous you are right now - fear of the unknown, but you'll do fine. Just stay as calm as possible, have an idea of how you'd like the birth to go, but be flexible and reasonable - if you can go completely natural, great! If not, then take what you need to get through it. I highly recommend the jacuzzi tub if your hospital offers it. The most important thing is the health of you and tbe baby. The nurses are usually a great help too, they can offer different positions and things to ease the discomfort. I wish you all the best.

Jen

I hope they don't let you go too past your due date. My OB would only let me go a week late if it happened. But I was actually a couple of days early. I would just relax. Don't be afraid to get an epidural. If you feel like you are having regular contractions (they don't hurt at first), then you are probably going into labor soon. Mine the two nights before were about 45 minutes apart and very light but regular (like braxton hicks). The next morning that thing they call the mucus plug came out, then a little of my water broke at noon about a 3 cups full. I went to the hospital and they ended up inducing me because and giving me pitocin. I had heavier contractions at 3pm, then my water really broke at 7 during the time they gave me my epidural. I tried to sleep through the night (but not really) and had my baby at 8am. I ended getting another dose of epidural meds at 6 am because I was in pain because the epidural wore off. Then I had an episiotomy at the last second because the heart rate dropped. But it wasn't a scary experience at all. Every birth is different. Just listen to the nurses. Hopefully you will have good and caring nurses :). the worst part for me was the IV drip! a Nurse in training inserted it into my hand instead of the inside of my wrist and it wasn't working right so they had to insert it again into my wrist, which is where they should put yours if you have to have one. Most people do if you are at a hospital. No worries!! Best wishes and good luck!!

one of the things they did in my class was take an ice cube and put it on your skin, hand is fine. Your coach can do it for you. Then breathe through the pain that will start as your skin gets colder and colder. Remember to push like having a bowel movement. Stay hydrated. Epidurals are wonderful things.

Good luck and congrats!
H.

Don't beat yourself up over not signing up for a birthing class. The most important thing you can do now is to realize that it's normal to be nervous, but also that women have been having babies without classes for centuries. A certain amount of knowledge is power, certainly. In the old days, women got through the birth experience with supportive women (friends, midwives, family members) around them. If you are going to a good hospital, you will have wonderful labor and delivery nurses around you. Tell them you didn't take a birthing class and you are scared - they will help you! Your doctor will be there, but not all the time. Also, other doctors may come and go - residents, anesthesiologists, etc. Your nurses will be on an 8 hour shift so there will be great continuity there. (By the way, nurses will be great help after the birth too - they are so helpful with things like breastfeeding, bathing, swaddling, and so on! Use them!)

You can quickly acquaint yourself with some of the terminology used - if that will help you - but just read one good book (whatever some moms recommend here or whatever your doctor or librarian suggests) - but do not make yourself crazy by googling "childbirth" and overloading yourself. Your hormones are on "high" now anyway, and your body/mind/emotions are preparing for childbirth!

If you haven't already, try to decide how you feel about things like an epidural block, fetal heart monitor, and so on. Some women have religious or philosophical objections to one or more, while others want the full range of options available. Be absolutely strong about advocating for yourself and saying what you need. Do you have someone going into the labor room with you? You can have more than one person, so if your husband/partner is going to be there, you can add another person, perhaps a calm and experienced friend or a sister. That person can advocate for you as well.

But remember that, no matter how many classes women take, every experience is unique and there's only so much preparation you can do. Try to stay focused on the outcome - a healthy baby and the joys of the birthing experience. You are very close to being part of a miracle, so take care of yourself and enjoy it!

Don't worry about anything. You didn't miss anything the nurses and doctor are going to walk through with you when you do go into labor. When I was about to sign up and take the class I talked to my doctor.
He and the nurses told me that everything you learn in class is all forgotten when you go into labor. They provided me with a video of a class to watch instead just so I could see what would be happening. I was over a week late. Your little girl will know when it is time to come. Just hang in there you are at the end and you will just know when it is time.

Hello R.-

I think the best advice is to relax. Bring something to the hospital for you to concentrate on. I brought the ultrasound of my daughter. Also, I don't know if you will have a coach-someone with you, it's also important for them to relax and not freak out. Remember years ago they didn't have birthing classes, so although I went, I don't think it's necessary. Good luck! You'll do fine.

Hi Hun.
Freaking out is not necessary. Call your Dr tomorrow and ask for an appt with a nurse at the office. Tell them you are not quite sure what to expect, and you really need to speak with someone who can explain a little about what to expect and how to make it easier on yourself. The best advice I can give past that is relax, listen to calming music and let the professionals help you through it. Your baby will also help guide you through it to some extent. Good Luck

I agree with a lot of people on here that if you had taken the birth class, you might have been even MORE scared than you are now. A lot of birth classes take a whole lot of time explaining all the things that could go wrong.
My advice is trust that your body knows what to do, dont allow anyone (Doctors, nurses, etc...) to bully you into doing something that doesnt feel right, and STAY CALM. Fear= tension= pain. Fear causes your muscles to tense up, and tense muscles are not conducive to your babys smooth entrance into this world.
If you start to lose confidence during the birth, think of one thing: there are other women around the world at that very second who are giving birth, too. You will feel very connected, and that will give you strength.

The drs and nurses will help you through it all there is nothing to worry about..I have had 2 children with no birthing classs and everything went fine.
good luck to you

Hi,

I agree with a lot of the posters. You will be fine, the nurses will help tremendously.

My suggestions...
Bring something with you to focus on during contractions. I brought a picture of my two cats snuggled up and asleep.
The dad will need to be strong and supportive for you. His job is to do whatever you need of him.
Bring snacks for the dad and for yourself for after the labor (hospital food portions are tiny!)
We brought a laptop and a movie to watch during the early stages of labor - it was a great distraction.
Find out if you can bring cds or something for some relaxing music
You might want to read about the stages of labor just to understand a little bit
I'd ask the nurses to explain the plusses and minuses of different pain management right when you get there, not when the contractions are getting really strong.
Make sure you let the nurses know that you didn't take a class and you want help with different positions or breathing techniques.

You will be fine! Good luck and congratulations!

Hi there! When I was pregnant with my first child I took a Lamaze class. I thought that it might be helpful. Well, when it came down to actually having the baby using the techniques they taught me, they all went right out the window. I know that birthing classes could have helped some people but it didn't work as well as I would have liked for me. The main thing that I did learn though that was somewhat helpful was remembering to breathe during contractions and not holding your breath or anything. It seems to help with the pain and get you through the contraction. I hope that that helps. Good luck! I'm sure that you will do just fine.

No worries. You will do fine. I have to tell you that the nurses will help you out big time in the hospital. They will be so wonderfully helpful during your labor and delivery. At least that was my experience. If you haven't seen an actual birth, I might flip through the channels and watch a few of those shows on TLC about child birth. As long as you know when to go to hospital, and I'm sure your doctor has told you the signs to look for when you're in labor.

Oh, and one thing I didn't learn in my birthing class, actually happened to me, and then went with my sister to her birthing class, and it was one of the first things they talked about. Sometimes your water can break and you will hear a "popping" sound. And only a small trickle of water will come out. Not enough to think it's your water breaking. If you ever have fluid coming out, no matter the amount have it checked out. They have a test they can do to see if it's your water breaking, or something else.

Good luck! Don't stress yourself out right now. That's the last think you and the baby need right now. Relax these last few moments that you have.

R.,
The only benefit I got from birthing classes was a tour of the maternity ward. Don't worry about not taking classes. If it makes you feel better there must be something on line that you could read or watch. For me, personally I didn't get anything out of it anyway.
My advice would be to not bother bringing pajamas. Bring a robe that is long and use the johnny's. With my first I went out and bought these pretty two-piece pajama sets and I was very uncomfortable in them. Recovering from a baby can be messy. Don't mess up your pj's. Mess up the hospitals! Save your pretty one's for after when you are feeling like your old self again!
If you are going to be wanting an epidural, let them know that that is your plan as soon as you get to the hospital. With my first I kind of assumed that they would just bring it in when I wanted it and that isn't the case. They need to prep you beforehand. You will need to get a certain amount of I.V. fluid and you will need to get your blood drawn and the results back (I think).
Do not freak out! This is going to be one of the most memorable moments of your life! You will get through it just fine. One more important thing...BE NICE TO YOUR NURSES!! The nurse will be by your side through most of your delivery and they are a HUGE help.
Good luck and congratulations!!

Dear R., don't go crazy. I did take the classes with my first pregnancy and even so I have found it help full I did not take them again with my second one. You can find the same info on videos in your library and watch them when it is convenient for you and your birthing partner. Also the nurses have been very helpful in helping me with my breathing during labor. Hope this helps and enjoy every minute. Y. H.

In addition to what the others have said, I have been told to pack sneakers for the hospital in case you end up doing a lot of walking during labor, bring snacks for after (if you deliver in the middle of the night and nothing is open--you'll be hungry!) They also told me to try to rest as much as possible during early labor since it might be a long haul.

Good luck--you'll do great!

I have 2 kids and didnt take a class w/ either one my only bit suggestion is try to relax right now and enjoy the little time you have left of getting a full nights sleep. Maybe you and your girlfriends can go out for pedicures or manicures thats what I did before I had both of my boys it was nice and relaxing. Go for some nice long walks, drink some red raspberry leaf tea, and eat some chinese food. I had heard a lot about raspberry leaf tea its supposed to help bring on labor and help w/ labor pain don't know if thats what did it but I drank it all day and had my youngest the next morning and my labor was fast and easy and was a lot less painful then my first.

The most important thing about giving birth is to stay relaxed and trust that your body knows what to do. Women have given birth for centuries without classes...
Good luck & congratulations

No worries! I took birthing classes and I don't think I learned anything that was critical to giving birth. You'll be surrounded by people who will guide you and your body will give you tons of queues to follow. Good luck!

Don't wish you had. Everything happens for a reason. Some childbirth preperation classes place fear in people when there wasn't any. Your baby will come when she is ready. The babys brain develops in stages while in utero and the last stage is the last 3-4 weeks in utero. We don't want to cut into this important development. Know that due dates are estimated and you are not considered post date until you are 42 weeks. For first time moms average pregnancy lasts 41 weeks and 1 day. Lastly, feel confident in birthing because we were designed perfectly to give birth we don't need to know or do anything our perfect design knows exactly what to do. Its our minds that need to get out of the way and let our birthing bodies do the work and it will.

Happy Birthing Day.

Hi R.,

Only thing I can offer is to remember, labor is your body's "work" to bring your baby forth. Anything you do to help you body do it's "work" and not fight it will help. If you choose natural childbirth, remember, for most women, you CAN do this, but also like most women a point will come where you believe you CANNOT do this. It is essential that you have positive people who are committed to your birth experience being as natural a process as possible around you. You will likely NOT be able to advocate for yourself throughout labor. If you rely on traditional medicine, odds are you WILL give into their pressure.

Modern medicine has saved many a mother and child, but still for most women no formal intervention is needed at all. Trust your body's ability to do this. Fear will cause you to be tense and fight against your body's natural responses. You WILL have to be an active participant in the process. It IS hard work but not more than you can bear.

A natural labor that progresses on it's own time frame is much better tolerated and adjusted to then an induced labor. Do not go to the hospital until your labor contractions are strong enough to stop you in your tracks and make you pay attention only to them. Most women go to the hospital much too soon.

The worst position to be in is flat on your back attached to monitors. This will slow labor and give you nothing else to concentrate on or distract you except the contraction. I also believe there is some invisible clock in Labor and Delivery. They give you a certain amount of time to produce a baby and if you are not progressing according to their clock then they will do something to speed things up. Early labor can indeed go on and off for several days. But, early labor does not stop you in your tracks and you should be able to function throughout it.

Eat light if you think you are in early labor, but eat. Try to rest and conserve energy but don't confine yourself to bed. Do not begin breathing excercises unless you have to for comfort. Of course, you may want to do a couple of practice rounds.

Labor contractions are often tolerated better if you can lean over a bed or chair and allow the belly to fall away from you. Try and keep all the other muscles in your body relaxed. Tensing up only increases discomfort. Pay attention to your mouth and face. If your mouth and face are grimaced and tense, the rest of your body will be too.

As far as breathing. for earlier contractions try some SLOW and I emphasize SLOW, deep breaths in through the nose while slowly counting to yourself...1....2....3....4 and then BLOW slowly out through pursed lips. If you are doing this now you will notice that your whole body "blows" away tension when you blow out. During labor you will repeat this in and out until the contraction is over and then take one deep cleansing breath in and out and wait for the next contraction.

As you get nearer to full dilation the phase of stage I labor called "transition" (dilating from 8 to 10 cms) the contractions WILL become intense. It will be impossible to concentrate on ANYTHING else. This where your support system will be crucial. You will need someone to coach you through each contraction even "getting in your face" to get your attention. Breathing changes at this point to more of a panting. Take a deep breath in and exhale with rapid little puffs. You should be making a noise when you do this. Continue with this type of breathing pattern until the contraction is over and then, again, take a deep cleansing breath in and out and wait for the next contraction. There may be VERY LITTLE time between contractions at this point so make sure you tell your coach to remind you there is probably only a few more contractions. Active coach is vital to this phase of labor. If you are feeling low back discomfort have someone apply firm pressure to the small of your back with the heel of their hand through out the contraction. As you grow closer to full dilation you may notice a low "growl" coming from you during the contraction this is and idication that it is "game time".

Once you are fully dilated the quality of labor changes significantly for stage 2 or the delivery. The contractions become further apart and are accompanied by a increasingly stronger urge to push. Again, you need to let go of tension (and modesty) and pull your legs way up and open then take a deep breath in and "curl" yourself up and around your belly and push down and OUT don't forget the "out" allow yourself to "open up" down there. Your doctor or midwife will tell you when to push or not push. If the urge to push is strong and the doctor is telling you not to push then try the panting style breathing again until it is time to push again.

It would be good for you to have your coach read this. He or She needs to be someone who is committed to your plan and can take charge. They will likely need to offer these suggestions and even breath with you as you will not be thinking clearly. I highly recommend an experienced Doula, but at this point you could already be in labor! so work with what you've got.

God Bless You. I wish you a wonderful birthing experience and a beautiful, healthy baby. Remember, if you decide to take pain medicine or any other intervention that is offered this is not a sign of weakness. It would be very difficult for ANY woman to turn down an offer for medical intervention at this time. Women years ago were not more stoic then you, they simply had no other choices. Your body was designed to do this. Maybe God wanted it so intense that it was life changing experience because motherhood is a life changing experience and so that you would be aware of how great a miracle this new life is.

J. L.

Just relax - your body knows exactly what to do! The nurses at the hospital will likely be your biggest asset. I'm due in 3 weeks with baby # 2 - it is a very exciting time. Every delivery is different so to tell you what to expect is difficult. You already know that labor hurts, but the end result is amazing and you'll forget all about the labor! Enjoy your baby and congratulations!