My 17 month old is really, really starting to act out and be defiant right now which I know is very normal at this age, but I am hoping to learn the best way to deal with all this new behavior. I'd love to find a book that will give suggestions on the best way to react and handle this unpleasant behavior. Anyone read and life changing books on this topic?
123 Magic saved my sanity!
I've had everyone from teachers to child behavioral psychologists recommend it. Seems to be an industry favorite.
Quick read and really simple concepts.
I really, really love the book, Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey. I got it when My son was about 18 months, and it quickly became my "bible."
I read it, took notes, and practiced in my head (and on my husband) responses to some of my son's common trouble behaviors.
It really changed me as a parent and I felt so much more confident, and so much less frustrated and at a loss. After reading the book, felt so much better equipped to deal with toddler behavior. I felt like I had "tools" I could use.
I have read several parenting books, including Love and Logic for Toddlers (which is also good). I think the Becky Bailey, book, though was better for young toddlers.
Its hard with a young toddler because they dont really get consequences. They are so "in the moment" that, even if they know cause and effect, and even if you have consequences in place, they forget.
The book talks alot about telling what you want them to do instead of what you dont want them to do (stay inside instead of dont go out the front door). This was really helpful when my son was little. Another thing that was helpful was assuming the child has a positive intent - "You wanted to get down so you hit mommy" instead of "You wanted to hurt mommy so you hit." Then talk about what the child should do instead.
Anyway, its worth the $$. :)
123 Magic is a great book. I also loved The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp
first you should know that you will get many recommendation, but it really depends what your parenting philosophy is. I read "positive discipline" as recommended on this site. I would now classify that style as permissive parenting. I did much better with "the Strong willed child", which I would recommend to any parent.
I think my favorite of all the ones I've read is Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child by Robert J. MacKenzie. I think it's great for ANY type of kid!
Also, I've read many parenting books, and I find that what works for me is getting a little bit of info from each one. A little here, a little there, it all combines to help me decide my own particular parenting style.
But most of them have the same message - keep your cool, offer choices, don't discipline in anger, make sure that discipline is a teaching tool, don't lecture, and never ask why they did something wrong. (You'll never get an answer anyway!)
And above all, be sure to praise your child when they're behaving well. I know, easier said than done sometimes!
Good luck to you - have patience!!
