Any Tips to Help Me with Coach an 8 Year Baseball Player with ADHD?

Updated on April 22, 2016
S.M. asks from Latta, SC
11 answers

HELP! I am looking for any thing to help me with this child. I have 25+ years coaching experience in coaching and I want to get through to this child so he can have a good experience from this season of baseball. I would like to make this season one he won't forget. hanks for any help.

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So What Happened?

I have tried talking to the boy and reason with him. A lot of times when I talk to him he will do things like turning his back to me and not look at me. I do not treat him different from the other boys. I tell him what he did wrong when he makes a mistake, but I try to be quick to praise him when he does good. Some of the problems I have had is him hitting another player, throwing his bat down in the dugout, and throwing his batting helmet out of the dugout. I have never experienced this kind of problem before.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Is he showing symptoms that are interfering with his experience or are you just getting prepared? Given that around 10% of boys have ADHD, it's quite likely that you've coached many, many boys with ADHD and didn't know it. ADHD manifests in many ways. Two of my 3 sons have it, as does their dad. All have no problems focusing in sports, but they play fast-paced sports like hockey and lacrosse where the constant action is a good fit for them. My oldest did play baseball through 2nd grade, age 8, and did find it too slow for him. When he played, he wasn't disruptive or uncoachable but he would zone out on the bench (but not on the field).

I would coach him like any other kid, with the excellent suggestion from NewName2013 though to not call him out for corrections. She is absolutely right that kids with ADHD get negative feedback and corrections all day, every day. Constant nagging, re-direction, and frustration are the demoralizing norm, so anything you can do to make this really positive for him would be good. Address him individually for praise, and as a group for reminders, improvements and corrections.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

ETA: After seeing your SWH, here are my thoughts:
1. He's not looking at you because kids with ADHD often have trouble making eye contact, especially with adults. ADHD is a cousin of autism, so take that into account. He's not trying to be disrespectful. He's just overwhelmed.

2. As far as the bad behavior, it's due to his lack of impulse control. Again, he doesn't mean to be that way and can't control his emotions as well as his peers. I would definitely talk to his parents and see if they have ideas for what he can do to redirect any anger. They've likely dealt with this at home. Don't hesitate to give consequences like anyone else on the team, but recognize that there are often tools kids can use to handle their emotions better. For example, he might have a stress ball kept nearby or in a pocket he can grab and squeeze hard when he's angry, instead of doing the things you've mentioned.

Our son has ADHD and my best tip is to avoid singling out the boy on your team for special attention. Our son will shut down and not trust teachers who call him out for doing something wrong. He just wants to fit in and gets so embarrassed when his ADHD makes him feel different. So, instead of saying, "Hey, Joey, keep focused on the game," try: "Outfield, everyone make sure you're focused on the game." Reminders to a group work much better, even if he's the only one who really needs the reminder.

If you do need to talk to him individually about an issue, do it discreetly. Kids with ADHD deal with criticism all day long and, again, don't want to be the center of attention.

Definitely ask his parents for input. No doubt they are nervous about how he will be accepted on the team and how you're going to handle his behavior. Asking them what you can do to make it a great season for him will be much appreciated.

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D..

answers from Miami on

Hi S.. I'm coming to you from the viewpoint of a mom with two boys who played soccer, baseball, and swam for years while they were young. (Swimming ended up being the sport that stuck.)

Neither of my kids have ADHD, but my younger one was very active. So I'll talk about him. He used to look at the bugs on the field, the clouds in the sky and wave at people in the stands. The coaches had several little boys like this. They were understanding about the attention span. They moved the practices quickly and gave POSITIVE reinforcement for what the kids did WELL.

What you don't want to do is make this a-season-to-remember being yelled at all the time because he wasn't on task. Calling to him with reminders is one thing. Bawling him out for missing a ball is another. Teach them baseball terms and what they mean, like "Now you're ready!", "Heads-up!", "Call it!", "Full count" and hand signals for the strikes. That way, you can say the SAME WORDS for the kids as a group, and to the children personally ("Heads-up, Johnny!" when the ball is coming his way) and he won't feel that he is being singled out and yelled at.

DO NOT allow parents to badmouth a child. Stop a game if you have to and go to the stands and tell a parent who is being inappropriate to stop. It's best to send an email to the parents in advance and tell them that bad behavior from the stands won't be tolerated (an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure type thing). And you have to stick to your guns and mean it if someone does it anyway.

You most likely do not have kids in your group who are destined for the pros. You may have kids who will one day make the travel team. You can teach baseball and be kind at the same time.

I'll end this telling you what I dealt with in my younger child's first soccer season. (I think he was 6.) My son was one of the best players on the team. They were playing one of the games with a team whose coach decided that the way to coach was to make his players little hoodlums. His kids were aggressive and fouling every which way but loose. He egged it on yelling at the kids to "go for it". Long story short, the game ended abruptly when a kid slammed his elbow into my son's face, giving him a horrendous nosebleed. Mothers on our team were crying, they were so upset, and not just because of my son's nosebleed, but because the game was so awful and the coach agressively encouraged his kids' behavior. After going through this, I have always appreciated children's coaches who weren't trying to recreate their own glory days using children to do it. Thank YOU in advance for caring about your kids.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

First thing. He has a brain disorder. You can't "get through" to him. His brain doesn't work like yours.

Once you understand it's a mental issue and not of his choosing or that he can just stop it or pay more attention to you, then, at that moment you'll be able to see it differently.

He's trying, really really trying but it's impossible for him to change this.

Consider if you had a player that had epilepsy. They were having a seizure and it was their turn at bat. You look down at them on the ground shaking and having muscle spasm and such. You say "STOP THAT! It's your turn at bat. Get up and get over there! NOW!!!"

How effective would that be? Same thing with an ADHD kid. Their brain isn't sending their signals to the right receptor. You tell him look over here and he tries but his brain sends that signal to "Squirrel!!!!". He didn't do what you asked him to do but he really wanted to.

Please do some research on how the ADHD brain works. You need to find out if he's on any meds, hopefully his parents understand this illness and are treating it so he can be more normal. They could be your greatest asset. Have you asked them? Are they willing to come into the dugout with him and help him?

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R..

answers from San Antonio on

Ask the parents if they have any ideas you can try. Also a great resource is ADDitude magazine it is an online free publication.

Some parents have short acting stimulants they can give for a three to four hour boost of attention for sports or other activities....but some hesitate to use them for just sports and not school.

Check out ADDitude they have tons of great ideas.
Good luck and thanks for wanting to make his season a great one!!

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L.Z.

answers from Seattle on

I'm sorry, I have more to add. I am currently working through similar things with my child, so it's on my mind! I have started our family on a new elimination diet and have seen huge changes in my child's behavior. I wanted to tell you to see if you'd want to tell this boy's parents. It is a diet called "The Feingold Diet" and basically you eliminate all food dyes, artificial flavors and preservatives and some foods high in salicylates that are in certain fruits and other foods. Our kiddo was melting down left and right at home and after a week on this diet, the negative reactions have decreased by at least 90-95%. These parents need to know that food might be the answer here. No soda, no gatorade, no candy, no fake food basically. Kiddo might not like the change at first, but it's worth it to see if it helps. It doesn't help everyone, but our family has seen a huge improvement so I wanted to share.

I just saw your "So What Happened" and realize this child is exhibiting signs of ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) as well. The best way to handle kids with ODD is to not let them escalate to the negative behavior in the first place and try to either redirect the child and other kids before he has a "meltdown" or other negative behaviors. Is he reacting to other kids? If so, I'd make sure there is no bullying going on in the dugout. Is he just frustrated at his performance? In that case, he needs more encouragement. If he seems upset after a mistake, ask him if he wants to try it again with you or if he'd like to practice with another kid for a few minutes. I am not sure what the set up is, but he needs to feel more in control of the situation and definitely needs less criticism. If he's turning his back, he's in fight/flight mode and isn't feeling safe when it comes to his feelings. ADHD and ODD kids have a heightened sense of fight and flight and it gets triggered by things that don't normally cause problems for you and I. He will need more negotiating and reasoning and for you to give him more control with choices and patient problem solving. "That's frustrating, but let's try to figure out what might help.."

Often children with ADHD have a very hard time accepting criticism. They feel it more than other kids. I agree with others who have mentioned that you should try to limit any negative attention to this particular child. Keep things encouraging and fun. Give lots of praise and positive direction. Lots of running and fast paced drills if possible, in between practicing the specifics. Sometimes our coach will send the kids around for a lap if a few of the boys are not paying attention. It's not done to single anyone out, just a way to get them to run off some energy. Try to keep the same routine each practice, warm ups should be similar, and the basic structure of the practices should be the same. Then the child will feel safe with what is expected of them. Try some fun team building chants that you repeat at certain times, like rituals at the start and before you finish practice. They will boost the feeling of teamwork and make sure all the kids feel included. Pair up the kids to work on passing, if it looks like this particular kid doesn't have many friends. Make sure he is included. If he gets frustrated easily, I'd try to help with gentle encouragement, but then tell him to try again next time and have him move on to trying something else. Sometimes ADHD kids have more trouble with coordination, but not always. If he's zoning out, have him help lead the drill or demonstrate for you. Something to switch his focus. Most of all, be happy and have fun as a coach. ADHD kids need coaches and teachers who are positive, fun and patient.

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M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I'd see if there is a local advocacy group for families who have kids with ADHD, or I would contact CHADD (search them online), which is a national nonprofit that serves families and people with ADHD. CHADD possibly can hook you up, either in person in your area or online, with someone who can give you pointers on working with this child. It would be great for you to get advice from some professionals as well as parents.

Also, have you had a long talk with this boy's own parents? They probably know best how to reach their son to make experiences work better for him (and for the other kids around him). I'd definitely talk with them ASAP. If you're afraid they'll be resistant to discussing their son --point out that you only want to make this experience positive, and since you don't have experience working with a child with ADHD, you would love their specific input.

Good for you for being tuned in to this player's particular needs.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

S., I'll be coming back to check for more responses to get ideas too... My DH is in the same position. He wants all the kids to have fun. But the reality is that some kids at 8-9 years old are starting to hit the ball hard, and if a kid is playing the infield but not paying attention, he can get hurt. My DH is trying to figure out the best position to teach him that will keep him involved but not hurt. Balls don't get hit as hard to the outfield - but there are fewer plays in the outfield which might make it even harder to stay focused. My DH is thinking of asking if the kid would like to learn to play catcher, because it will keep him in the game more as he has to catch and throw back every pitch.

I'll let you know how it goes, and please send me a message if you have any strategies that work.

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K.H.

answers from New York on

Good for you reaching out and asking for help! I bet you're a great baseball coach! How about making sure they run some laps at the start of every practice, go a little heavier than you normally do, really get some of that extra energy out!? I bet that would help with some concentration. And heck they are 8 year old boys, all they are is energy in a skin suit! Other than that, keep doing what you are doing, don't worry about the eye contact, that doesn't mean he isn't hearing you!

M.F.

answers from Atlanta on

2 things to try, remind the team they are a team. They are to encourage each other. Treat the other players how they want to be treated. Some of the kids will be super into the game, others may be in "left field" but all of them, every single one just want to have fun. Second there's an essential oil called Peace from DoTERRA. It is a focus oil. Costs about 30$. Talk to parents about getting it for the child. They would put it on the back of his neck or in his hands for him to breath in several times or on bottom of big toes(if smell bothers him) before practice. Takes 20-30 minutes to reach every cell in the body. This will help him to be more focused. Also good for kids who get stressed about the game. A bunch of adults yelling from the stands while a ball comes barreling at you can be a bit stressful!😉 I use it before my tennis matches! Relaxes me! Actually it may be good for you before games and practices as well, it helps you not stress the small stuff! Have a great season!!

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband coaches our boys a lot and had a kid on his 5-6th grade basketball team that gave him a run for his money this winter. The boy would shut down, try to quit, throw the balls, etc. His mom also has 3 YOUNG girls and couldn't do it all. She told my husband to do what he had to do to keep him playing...because he did truly want to.

My husband sat the whole team down and told them he was only willing to coach kids who WANTED to play. If they didn't WANT to play, he would talk to their parents and get them a refund if necessary. But basketball is a TEAM sport, as is baseball, and it takes everyone wanting to be there and dedicating that time to the sport.

Yes, he has medical issues that are mental. Can you work with his parents to figure out a good way to handle this? I don't really care what is wrong with my kid, his behavior is not okay and it's mostly unsafe to the other kids. If my husband had a kid like that, he would probably talk with the parents and director and if there was no resolution, the child would have to be removed. Organized sports are not for babysitting...and if the behavior of a participant is dangerous for the other kids and the parents aren't involved, it's not fair to the ones who want to be there.

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