Anything but Cry It Out!!

Try reading: "The no-cry sleep solution", by Elizabeth Pantley, I just started reading it...Good Luck

I don't have much advice on no-cry sleep training, but as for the daycare, call before you start him and ask what they do for the babies. I can't imagine a daycare that wouldn't cuddle and rock babies to help them fall asleep. And I know that, at least in my daycare, there are times that they have to let the kids cry in their crib because they're changing a diaper or feeding another child. Good luck.

Dear Y.,
My best suggestion would be to develop a naptime routine that is VERY similar to night sleep routine (perhaps minus the bath, but everything else the same?) I am very blessed that both of my kids have almost always been great sleepers. My son is five & daughter is one. 5-y/o son occasionally fusses at bedtime - usually if he's overly tired, not feeling well or hasn't had enough one-on-one time with Daddy (hubby drives tractor-trailer & sometimes doesn't get home until nearly bedtime). My daughter is GREAT at home. I take her into her room, change her diaper (jammies & bath @ bedtime), tell her that it's nap time. "Night-night, Joanna, Mommy loves you." Then I let her have her pacifier, lay her in her crib, cover her with her blanket & leave. Room darkening curtains/blinds/shades were essential in her room, b/c it gets afternoon sun & it was WAY too bright for naps. Hope this helps. God bless you & your son. :)

Hi Y. - I have heard that swaddling helps a baby sleep easier because it reminds them of the womb, you might add that into your existing routine...

My little guy does cry for about 5 minutes in his crib before falling asleep. I am willing to rock, sing, or do whatever but it only seems to keep him up longer.

It sounds like you are a very special, caring Mommy. God Bless

Hi Y.,

I would visit the daycare and talk to them about how they help the babies fall asleep. I worked in the infant room of an NAEYC accredited center and we never let the babies cry it out. Of course, there were times they may have cried for a minute when we were preparing a bottle or changing another baby, but we were to try to avoid this. We held them and sang to them or, at the very least, put them in a bouncer seat and rocked them that way. (Sometimes that was necessary when 2 or more were in need of something at the same time). We never propped bottles (should not be allowed in ANY center). The infants did not have a set nap time, but were allowed to fall asleep when they were sleepy, have a bottle when they needed it, etc. There was a loose schedule in place, but we followed the baby's lead. We would have been fired if we had ever put a baby in a crib and let her cry it out! Also, once your baby is in daycare, try to drop in unnannounced a few times to see how they really handle things. Someone else mentioned home daycare. I think that's another good idea. Make sure you're completely comfortable with the caregiver and, again, drop in if you can. Feel free to email me.

K.

Don't assume a day care provider won't rock your baby. I know it won't be the same as mommy, but most infant rooms have a low ratio so they can give more individual attention to the babies. I don't know if you have absolutely decided on a center, but maybe you could consider a home day care situation. A stay at home mom or grandma who keeps a couple of kids could be a good choice. I found when my kids were very little they received more personalized care in this kind of setting.

Good luck!
A.

Anything you train him to need from you in order to get to sleep, is what he'll need. So if you don't want him to cry, find something you feel daycare workers can do for him. Just remember, crying it out is only temporary until he learns to fall asleep happily on his own. At 3 months, he would probably feel comfortable quickly. If he has a routine at night, it may be what he wants in the daytime, so ask if the daycare workers can cuddle him. If not, he may be forced to cry it out at daycare, so to avoid more fear then, you may consider trying it now in the security of home with a blanket, toy or binky he can take with him to daycare when the time comes.

I have a 3 month old that will not sleep in his crib for naps, but sleeps great at night. I let him sleep in the swing for now. My older son, now 2.5 did the same thing. By 5 months he was sleeping in his crib for naps with no problem. Try to be patient and by the fall your baby will be older and hopefully you will have him in the crib. I don't know much about daycare, but I can't imagine them letting your baby just cry. Besides it being sad for your baby, it would probably wake up the other babies. Just keep trying to put your baby down in the crib drowsy and give it time. I also tried the pick up/put down method. I would pick him up when he cried and said nothing to him and waited for him to calm down - then back in the crib. Repeat if you have to. The first few times of this is frustrating, but it does work if you have the patients. The baby will soon see that it's not worth crying because you're not "babying" him, just comforting him.

Good Luck!!!

Hi Y., Yes I know the cry it out method is not so attractive especially when they are 3months old. I had to let my daughter cry it out once, but that was not until she was 7 mons, and it broke my heart. My pediatrician encouraged it at the time for various reasons....Anyway, I know you want to feel secure while your baby is at daycare. Perhaps making a tape or cd (with your voice or music) and using a recorder that could go to daycare to be used at nap time. The babies are usually sparated from the older kids, so it shouldn't disturb them, and it might really sooth your son.
Take care,
W.

Try the Ferber method! I "Ferberized" all three of my children and they are all excellent/independent sleepers.

Good luck with everything :)

-M.

Y.,
Are you serious? If your nighttime routine/structure isnt working for naps,,,,,,,,,,
You run your household and the daycare runs their establishment- Rest assured, there will be tears shed. You pay them to do a job- and they will handle it.

Y.,

At three months old, my daughter was still figuring everything out. She dozed off whenever she wanted and took frequent cat naps. It wasn't until much later that she really started taking 2 naps a day - maybe 6 months or so.

I would try to follow an appreviated bedtime routine for naps. Maybe a book, a bottle, then cuddle a bit. Our little ones are creatures of habit so if you keep doing the same thing, eventually they start to realize that one thing leads to another.

S.

We didn't do well with Cry it out either - it just made us all cry. Our son loves music and seemed to do well napping in the bouncy seat or swing when very small. So, when I put him down for a nap I always turn on the same music box and have it play while he cuddled up with his binky. It took a while to get the routine but it stuck & he is 2 yrs old and we still play the music every night, not at nap time anymore.
Maybe try vibration or white noise - we have a fan that we turn on now too.

Hi! Please talk to your daycare and find out what they do. My LO went to 2 different places in the first year, and both made sure someone would cuddle with him to help him fall asleep. If your place does this, then you can do a shortened version of your bedtime routine for naptime - just bottle and cuddle - that will work for you and for daycare. But knowing what they can and will do is key.

I didn't do cry-it-out and my LO is a great sleeper, so please don't feel pressured that it is the only way. Every family is different, and every child is different! For me, what worked was having a consistent routine. He did like to be cuddled to sleep until he was about 8 months old, then we started working on going down awake (first cuddling until he was 95% asleep, then putting him in the crib, and working over a few weeks until we were putting him down awake). But the key for us was the consistent routine, and keeping as much of it as possible at naptime as well.

If your daycare won't cuddle or hold him to help him fall asleep, then ask them what they will do - some will put them to sleep in a swing or bouncy seat, which mimicks the cuddling/rocking a little bit. You could start doing your shortened routine and after cuddling for a few minutes, moving him to the swing/seat. You could also try working towards helping him fall asleep on his own in a crib, using the gradual method of getting him mostly asleep in your arms then laying him down, but he's pretty young for that.

Good luck!

I agree with April. If you have not yet considered it please do check on a Family Day Care Home. Or if there are none available or in a distance convenient to your home or work please consider a center that will meet the needs of your infant. Music and infant massage will help soothe the baby and prepare them for nap. A tape that I play for infants I received many years ago. A mom of a colic infant gave it to me to use for her baby. I am not sure if they still make it. It was designed for colic babies. Called "Baby go to sleep" It was a lullaby tape sung in a soothing voice had a heartbeat in the background, I have made several copies of it in case it broke. But I will rock, massage or sing an infant to sleep if it is what the baby needs. I would hope that most Center's that enroll infants would have caring loving staff that would be trained in infant care. I am partial to a Family Home environment having had one of my own for 15 years but also have experience in a Center.
My advice is to look for someone or someplace that will do what is best for your infant. God Bless you and your little one. I pray that God will guide you. Please keep us posted.

Here is the website to the music "Baby Go To Sleep"
http://win-edge.com/BabyGoToSleep.shtml
I am glad to see that they are still available. I might just get a CD now, my tape is quite old but still useful! :)
I actually use it for "Quiet Time" for the older children as well. It is very soothing.
I just came back to say that they have more selections now... Thank you for asking this question it was helpful to me as well finding that site. :)
I also noticed the have a book/CD combo... "You Don't Have to Let Your Baby Cry" BOOK and CD PLUS!!
Ms. M.

Do you have a routine for nap time? Do you allow him the same amount of time to settle down as for bedtime? Obviously you cant give him a bath everytime you put him down for a nap but he needs a clear signal that says ok mummys going to put me down for a nap. Thisc an be apleasant time for both of you to help him settle down. I like the book Sleepless in America by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka. Eventually you can gradually scale back on hte routine as hes ready for it so it becomes simple and easy for someone else to take over.

Elizabeth pantley has a book and website that might be helful to you. I think it's "the no cry sleep solution". I I also benefited from "the baby whisperer" also a book and website. Good luck, I agree cry it out was not for me.