Approaching Legal Mediation W/near 4 Year Old in Tow

I work for a Court in Ca. I can't really tell you what to prepare for, though I have one piece of advise to offer. Find a sitter for your daughter while you are at the appointment. If you havent got anyone you can trust check with your local Court to see if they offer a children's waiting room. It is of the utmost importance that your child NOT attend mediation with you, for countless reason but I will caution you on 2:
1. You need to feel free to speak your piece and there is no way you could or should do that in front of your child.
2. Even though your child is young, she will be affected by what happens in mediation. She should not be present.
Best of luck to you. I pray for a reconsiliation if that is in your heart and guidence for you if you chose to divorce.

If you live in Washington, it is a joint custody state, and he can not take her. Period.

When I got a very bitter divorce we moved in and out of the house, just like you, and I think it really helped my kids. Also once the kids started school, we lived close enough so the kids could ride different busses to get home.

Take your lawyer's advice and don't escalate things if you can. Mediation worked for us. For our case, because I had been a SAHM for so long and would never make his kind of money, I got much more money in the settlement than he did. So don't escalate. It will cost you more.

Stay open minded about the mediation. It will take more than one meeting.

You probably have a reasonable time line to get a job. Meanwhile you will have some maintaince.

Why do you think he will take your daughter? I know tons of single moms who are college students. As long as you can show that you can provide a decent home for her to live in, you should be fine.

Keep working on getting the job, and the fact that you've been with her when he had the chance to be... keep track of that, how often it is, etc and give that to your lawyer.

Most likely, I would imagine that you will both share custody, which may work out well. My cousin does that, she works four ten hour shifts and she and the dad each get their son for 3 1/2 days per week. She works the days that her ex has her son and then gets to be a basically Sahm for most of the time he's with her.

What an emotionally trying time. I am sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. Mediation can be a very fluid process depending on the mediator. Do you know much about this mediator and is this someone you both chose to work with? One thing mediators often discuss is the parenting time plan. You may want to familiarize yourself with some of the typical parenting time plans that the Oregon Judicial department has online:

http://courts.oregon.gov/OJD/OSCA/cpsd/courtimprovement/f...?

From what I understand, these plans are often the default the courts recommend if you and your husband cannot agree to a plan on your own. Yes, it sucks, but that is something you may need to prepare for.

Best of luck to you and your family!

If there is any way at all that you can afford to take an attorney with you, you should. Also, is the mediation result binding (meaning that you have given up your right to appeal the mediator's decision) or not binding (so you can still go to a court if you are unhappy with the outcome)? I wouldn't agree to anything binding without legal representation if I were you. Good luck.

Stay in prayer for peace of mind and Gods will regarding your childs best interest. The courts won't take your child away if you have been the primary care giver, they will consider where and with whom the child has resided and they will maintiain that for the childs stability. If he is a good father be reasonable, however, if not start writing down why he isn't and have actual dates and incidents that occurred to back your reasoning.