Asking Again MOMS!!

When I decided to take my 2 year old of the bottle I thought oh man we are in for some restless nights. Havin 2 older boys I knew the addiction a bottle can have. I found these sippy cups-I believe they are called Nubby. There nipples are not hard like sippy cups are. its almost like a big fat nipple but not a bottle nipple, its shaped like a sippy cup nipple but its squishy and soft so they are still getting some milk before bed or throughout the day but its in a fun colored cup with a nipple that feels like a bottle. Very inexpensive can find them practically anywhere-target, walmart, cvs. my son doesnt even need it to fall asleep anymore but its a great transitioning cup. a friend recommended it to me. Hope it works for you.

I don't see what the problem is either... give her the milk if that's what she wants. You mention she's losing weight?? That is NOT good. That's even MORE reason to give her the milk she needs. My son still gets milk before bed because that's his routine, and I do not see anything wrong with it. Both my kid's teeth are fine. I just give it to him in a big sippy cup instead of a bottle.

I am not a professional, but I have 3 kids, 7, 6 and 7 mos. I have had all of these problems! I know you do not want to hear it again, but it does get better. I actually think that none of your problems are related! My son had terrible night terrors for almost a year and a half and I was so worried and frustrated. He would scream and cry and not recognize us during his terrors- all of a sudden- they stopped. My oldest daughter had a pacifier and a bottle and cried and cried when we took them away- even though she wanted to be "big" and even said she was ready. Her baby teeth were not rotted but they definatly stuck out a little from the paci and bottle, I can assure you that her permanent teeth are perfect. And she should not be losing weight because you took away her night bottle- She may just be thinning out and getting taller, it could actually be a growth spurt. If she is hungry during the day feed her a little extra- she may need the calories to keep her weight up to her height. Unless her weight drops dramatically, I would not worry too much- if it does drop alot, then I assure you, it is a bigger issue than her bottle!
I also think that your daughter loves the extra attention she gets from you now! We all pay as much attention as possible to our kids, but they are like sponges, they want to try to soak up as much attention as possible from us.
My oldest daughter also all of a sudden at 9 mos. old decided she did not like to nap any more and just stopped! All of my friends kids would nap still 2 and some 3 times a day, and I could not even get a few minutes. Each child is different- After that, if she did nap at all she would not sleep at night- she stayed up most nights until 2 or 3 in the morning- WIDE AWAKE!! Talking and singing to herself as I could not stay up any longer. Now, she sleeps, like any other 7 year old. but it took until she started kindergarten to really get her on a good schedule!
I know it is tough, I know it seems like it will take forever, but it really does go so fast. I used to end up with both of kids in my bed every morning- I barely had a corner. Now, occasionally, I will have one of my kids there. It all works itself out- do not overthink it and assume that it all stems from the bottle. My 7 mos. old has only slept thru the night twice since she was born, I am so sleep deprived I can barely function on some days, but I keep in mind that one day- she will sleep! And that is what keeps me going! I hope this helps- It is not a quick fix remedy, or maybe a direct answer that you were looking for, but maybe it helps! Good luck

Personally, I have no idea what the big fuss is about "needing" to get rid of the bottle, like other moms have mentioned. I understand the teeth rot issue but just don't see the urgency if there is no rot.

My son is 20 months old and he gets a bottle in the morning, when he wants, (some days he doesn't want it) and a bottle before bed while watching his Baby Einstein video. He brushes his teeth and off to bed. He's happy and healthy and getting his calcium and fat he needs to grow. Is the issue the bottle itself or the milk? If it's the bottle, what's the big deal? Why is everyone in such a hurry to make their children grow up. I feel at 2 they are still babies. Is it the end of the world if they get a bottle?

My cousin who has 3 children ages 3-14 and is very experienced still has her 3 year old on a bottle and he's happy and content and no harm to anyone is done. She feels he'll let it go when he's ready.

Of course, some would argue I'm still a new mom but I feel if it doesn't feel right, maybe it's not. Just because some other mother has her child off the bottle at 1 doesn't mean it's right for your child. A mother knows when it's time. And just because you give your child a bottle until 3 doesn't mean they'll grow up to be delinquents later in life. Other things are more important in the rearing of your child but if you decide to take the bottle away, you should stick to your decision and not go back just because she's having a fit. That will open you up to all kinds of behavioral issues down the road since she has learned that the longer I cry and have a fit, the more likely mom will be to give in. Whichever you decide, stick to it and be firm. I just don't see the big deal with the "bottle issue". Just my opinion.

I am sorry you are going through this and you may not like what I have to say. I don't think you should have taken her off the bottle quite yet. She's not even 2 yet right? Later in the 3s yes, but not at 2. Maybe later in the 2's to start. It has to be a slow and smooth transition. You can't just take it away and think she'll just get use to not having it. Fill it with water at night, never milk or juice. Give her milk in the morning. They also have sippy cups with very soft flexible tops that are similar to bottle nipples, you can try that for during the day and let her have the water in a bottle at night. Just remember, she will not be walking down the aisle with a bottle in her bouquet, She'll be fine. She's still a baby - let her stay that way a while longer.

My daughter was very colicky and now has occasional sleep terrors. With her, I've found that life is full of compromises and she is able to adapt a lot better to the stresses of life. Go with your gut, first of all. If you feel like what you are doing isn't working (especially being pregnant) do what feels right for you and your daughter. My daughter is almost three and still needs a sippy cup to go to bed. She doesn't even drink it anymore, she just sits it on her nightstand and then sleeps peacefully. On the days she has night terrors, she'll eventually wake up and ask us to fill up her milk, even if it is almost full. She finds great comfort in just knowing that it is there, even though she no longer drinks much at night. Honestly, after all I went through with my daughter (I was given a lot of advice of what I should do and read a lot of books--too many), my advice to you is to take in all of the knowledge you have been given to make a good decision, but make the decision based on what's best for your daughter, not what you should do. Good luck, and I hope you start having peaceful nights again soon.

i would just give her the bottle at night if she's sleeping better with it, and there's no bottle rot! i still have my daughter on the bottle to go to sleep with, and when she falls asleep and is almost finished with the milk, i just fill it the rest of the way with water, this way it kinda has some remnants of milk flavor. it seems to work, my only problem is to get her the rest of the milk she NEEDS during the day. i have to try the cups with the straws...other then not getting enough milk throughout the day, the water added to whatever's left in the bottle seems to work great. she too is almost 2 (3 months younger then your daughter) and only sleeps through the night with the bottle. good luck, and happy holidays. hope i was able to help some.

There are so many changes going on in her life right now and the bottle offers her a lot of comfort and security. Maybe it's not time to take away the bottle yet. When she is ready, it will be much easier. Don't pay attention to what people say. There's no right or wrong. Every child is different. I tried weaning my son several times before he was ready (also when I was pregnant) and it was such a battle that I finally just gave up and just let him have it. However, when he was ready to give it up, it took less than a week!

When I read this my heart went out to you. I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with your daughter. Congrats on deciding to take her off the bottle. I know that it is hard but it is very much needed.
The only advice that I have is you can rather do two things. One do what you think is best for your daughter or do what your daughter wants. We know our children well and our children know us well. So if your daughter knows that if she cries she will get her bottle eventually she will do so. All she sees is that she wants her bottle and that she has to cry as long as she can until she gets it. So even though she cried for 5 hrs...she just knew that you was going to give in all she had to do was keep crying. So its hard and you may loose sleep but you got to keep strong. Try not to compinsate for the bottle. Do your normal rutine without the bottle don't linger bedtime because that will create a new problem when she gets older. Follow your normal rutine and end it. When she start crying explain to her that crying is not going to help and that she can not have a bottle in bed because she is a big girl and big girls don't go to sleep with a bottle. Ask her if she sees mommy go to bed with a bottle? Then kiss her goodnight and leave it alone. As long as she doesn't come out that room leave her alone.
I like to follow what my mom says. It gets worst before it gets better!!! You just have to stick it out and show her that this is whats best for her.
Remember everytime you give in its like your starting all over again. So when you gave her the bottle at 6 in the morning...Now she knows its okay to cry no matter how long it takes I will get what I want. So now you have created a new problem on top of the night bottles.
Just don't give in and wait it out.

Normally I would give some pretty dirty looks to someone who let a 2 year old have a bottle, but you know what? Give it to her! She apparently has a huge attachment to it. My daughter had her binky till she was nearly 3, so I don't see why your daughter can't have a nighttime bottle, when no one else knows she has it, at 2 yrs old. It that's what it takes to have peace, and sleep, then do it. You need your rest right now, and so does she and your husband. Maybe when she's a little older she'll give up the bottle on her own. Her teeth are good now, so just don't give her straight milk in the bottle. Water it down so she doesn's start to get bottle rot. Who says we have to go by someone else's time table. You have to do what's right for your family, and if that means giving her the bottle then do it. Since you already gave it back to her last night you kinda can't take it back now anyway. Just keep it to nighttime only. Your the mom, and you're doing the right thing!

Every child is different. There should be no set age as to when to take away a bottle or a pacifier. You have to do what feels right for you and your baby. My son loved his pacifier and had it for every nap and at bedtime until he was almost 4. He slept great and it really seemed to help with his teething period. I had so many people tell me to take it away from him, but I knew he would give it up when he was ready. Why make him suffer because other people were uncomfortable with it I thought. Well he is now a very happy and well adjusted 10 yr old and I wouldn't change a thing. Let her have the bottle! Good luck.

My son goes to bed with a milk bottle. He is 15 months old. I let him fall asleep, and then I go in and take the bottle out of the crib. Same thing during the night, if I must give hi8m some milk during a midnight wake up, I just give him a little bit, and I lay him down and rub his back. He falls asleep in a few minutes, I take the bottle and it's a done deal.

I don't know what other advice you've been given. My two daughters are now 30 and 28 years old, and I have mellowed considerably over the years.
In the long run, why cut off the bottle at a particular age anyway? Damage to teeth can be corrected, but emotional damage is harder to deal with and much more insidious. If she's not ready to give up the bottle, why fight it, especially since it's taking such a toll on you and probably the rest of your family?
My 28-yeaar-olf sucked her thumb till she was six. The only adverse result was a dented thumbnail which corrected itself over time.

my daughter is 17 months an if she wants a bottle she gets it all kids are different just stand by so when shes done you can retrieve the bottle. once they have a routine you dont want to break that. i am due in 3 days an sleep is one thing i wont have thats why i dont change her habits imagine 2 of them doing the same thing just do what you feel comfortable with no one knows your child better than you not even docters they dont spend all day with your child to know whats best

Good morning and Merry Christmas! I am the mother of 4 aughters 22, 19, 16 and 12. They all had there bottles until they were three and gave them up willingly because now "they were big girls" All four of them are fine and have no weird effects from this. Do yourself a favor and let your daughter sleep with her bottle, be kinder to yourself!

I too am the Mom of a son who had to have that night time bottle . Regular dental check ups and good care at home let us keep a handle on the situation. I am certainly not an expert but your little one seems to get comfort from that bottle. With all the changes about to occur in her little life, with a new baby on the way, is the bottle issue really that important? It doesn't seem to be a "power struggle" for her, but a real security issue. She will give it up eventually on her time frame and then there will be no stress..which isn't good for either of you. Being pregnant you need your rest and relaxation too. Constant worry about the bedtime routine and the crying to come isn't giving you a break, even during the day.
Once she doesn't feel stressed out maybe her appetite will perk up. You are a good mom.. a good mom tries to help her kids to the best of her ability, and knows when to toss the "expert advice" aside and go with her heart.

i am soo sorry to hear you are so frustrated with the situation. my daughter wasn't quite as young when we where able to take her cup away at night, but the thing that finnally did work was grammy telling her big girls son't go to bed with cups so you can have alittle sip of milk b4. "little sip" being barley the bottom of the cup covered. she gets this once she is in bed and after her story, before we brush her teeth. when she gets nasty about it we remind her she is a big girl now. and sometimes she will call out a few times over the course of a few hours for more but she had what she gets. middle of the night is different only bc i know i get up and drink water so she could be thirsty as well. again though only the smallest sip, and then off to sleep. Grammy was what did this though. if she has a particular person who she just worships (ours was grammy) ask if they can help you with this one night. hope this helps. i'm sure a night of sleep would feel great for both of you.

Hi, Im so sorry to hear that your having such a hard time. The only advise I could give is giving her a sippy cup at night instead of a bottle. I did this with my daughter before she turned 2, she is now 21/2. Explain to her that is her new baba. I used the nubi sippies that have the rubber on it, it kind of resembles a bottle nipple, that way is was a slow transition and not such a big one. Well I hope this helps, keep me posted.

You sound like a very, very, good and conscientious mom S., so there's absolutely no need to worry about that -- just the fact that you are trying your best to resolve this matter in every way possible, is proof you are not a mom who takes the easy way out. I'm a mom of two boys who are now 10 and 7. My oldest was very challenging and "dictative." (By the way, he's now a very smart, well adjusted, well liked boy, who still has very definite opinions about things, which I adore. He definitely doesn't follow the crowd and can think for himself -- all adtributes that I hope will carry him through his adolescent years.)

My only advise to you would be -- don't give your daughter the bottle. You know it's not what is good for her and eventually, it will create dental complications. Be consistent and steady. She's testing you and as long as she wins every once in a while, she'll continue to exert her strong will. We had to break my oldest son of the habit of nursing every 2-3 hours a night -- and he hated it. He would call, my husband would respond, and he'd throw a fit. My husband would spend the time to sooth him, rub his back, maybe walk him a bit, but never would I appear to nurse him. Eventually, my son would cry in the night to nurse, my husband would show up at the door, and my son would throw himself back into the crib in frustration and just go back to sleep. It took some time, but he stopped, and we all finally, had a good nights sleep. The message to my son: we know what's best and that's final.

Be loving and patient and be good to yourself. Lots of luck.

Have you tried giving her just a water bottle at night instead of milk? She may just be thirsty, not hungry and water won't hurt her teeth.

I read your update and was able to identify with it. I'll have a problem and feel that I'm at my wits end. I'll try absolutely everything, then finally just give in to that instinct (out of sheer frustration), even if it goes against all the printed advice out there, and usually that's the thing that works. Seems you've got a strong motherly intstinct, never forget that. Good luck also with your pregnancy! Having two is 10 times the blessings!

Wow! From having an almost 3 year old who's been a horrible sleeper most of his life I totally feel for you!
Give her the bottle at night! It sounds like she's going through something, and until that's resolved the bottle is comforting her. She's still very young, one bottle at night won't hurt her.

When my daughter was taken off of the bottle we had a special sippy cup for bed time. She picked it out and we only used it at bedtime and this helped a lot. She was very attached to the bottle at bed time. Maybe bring her to the store and have her pick out a special sippy cup for bed and try that. If not let her have the bottle at bed time. When your second one is born she will see that the baby also gets a bottle and she might just give it up on her own because she doesn't want to be seen as a baby. Good luck in this. Just remember she won't start kindegarden with a bottle.

Have you tried a sippy cup of water instead of milk? I just cut my 14 month old off from bottles. He finally got good at sipping a sippy cup and really likes water. I decided it was finally time to have him stop taking a bottle at night (I stopped his brother at 11 mos and he was waking 2-3 times a night for more bottle and we were having HORRIBLE sleeping problems). About two weeks ago I started just giving him his sippy cup of water (I find the Gerber ones with the blue tops are the ones that leak the least) at bed time. When he wants something through the night he just finds his cup. On occassion I will have to refill it once toward the morning, but he has been sleeping MUCH better (except occassionally when he wakes up from having his diaper to full!!). I feel much better knowing that he doesn't have milk on his teeth/gums all night and I don't have to worry about the milk getting sour now either. Hope that helps!

Believe it or not, your daughter is getting a lot of comfort and a sense of security from her bottle. DO NOT take that away from her. Many children adopt a blanket or pacifier etc. It sounds like your daughter has taken to her bottle. My son is 3 1/2 and when he isn't feeling well or overly tired he will still ask for his bottle, and I give it to him. It calms him. Let's face it, kids don't control much in their world, knowing they can ask for and receive something that gives them comfort can make all of the difference.

I have gotten A LOT of advice about my son and his "bottle use". I respond that I am his mom and just following what my gut is telling me. Your instincts won't steer you wrong, listen to them, follow them and offer no apologies. Good Luck

S. M Maybe your little one is gust not ready to give up her night bottle. I think you are trying to hard to follow a schedule. Some children march to their own beat. Many children are nursed till they are 4 or 5. Your child may be jealous and aware that there will be another baby in the house soon. Its really very normal. Just try to assure her that she will always be special, Might I suggest that you give your newborn the bottle before you put them to bed and never in the crib Carol D

What a dilemma!! I can share with you how I got my kids off bottles. When my son turned a year, I gave him milk in sippy cups and nothing but water in bottles. No matter how much he protested, I stood firm. Lucky for me, he hated water, so the sippy cup of soy milk was a much more appealing choice. And after two nights of screaming for a bottle, he accepted the change.
Maybe you can compromise with your daughter and offer her water in a bottle at bedtime. And maybe every night just giver her less and less...
I also saw Super Nanny take all the bottles from a toddler, put them in a bag and leave them in a tree for the 'babies.' Because the 'babies' needed them and she was a big girl, and she didnt need them anymore. The big girl was happy to help gather up all her bottles and put them in a nice bag for the 'babies.' And the big girl had brand new sippy cups to use. There was also something about the next morning where the bottles were in the tree was a small gift for her in exchange for the bottles. Maybe if your daughter has a hand in getting rid of her bottles, she will feel better about it...
If you make a decision to get rid of the bottles, stick to it. It will be so much easier to do it now then in a year. Stay Strong!!!!!!
Happy Holidays!!

I feel when it comes to our kids and getting through the night, or day for that matter, love them hold them co-sleep with them if you have to, each child is different, some need more than others, no matter it may be, does this thing they need hurt them? hurt you? affect their health? if not, then, give in if you have to, we are all better, even kids, with a happy belly and a good nights sleep! we are only human, and do what are kids need to be safe, and secure to get the rest they need.. if we are at peace, they will be too, if we are stressed, the are too...

hope that helps, are kids are only little once, cherish it, enjoy it,

A.... mom of 3 boys.... 6 8 & 18

Well, let me start off by saying I can't even imagine how frustrated you are. At first I was going to say just stay strong and tough it out, but you know what your sanity and that of your daughters is the most important thing. If I were you I would go back to the bottle. Listen these rules that are made up about when to do things with your child are more guidlines in my opinion. What works for one kid doesn't always work for another. My son is going to be 2 in February and he still drinks a bottle in the morning and we use a sippy cup at night. Has anyone told you to do that. We didn't and still haven't cut our son off cold turkey. We substituted the bottle for a sippy cup, with his milk in it. See the good thing about this is he doesn't drink it non stop. We sit in his rocking chair and read a bedtime story and if he wants a drink he asks for the cup and if he doesn't he doesn't. Some nights he can drink the whole cup others he doesn't drink but a sip or two. You could try that, otherwise go back to the bottle. She'll tell you when she's ready to move on. As long as she's only drinking it before bed and not all day everyday whats the harm?

Good Luck!
A.

As a mother of 5 let me just tell you what I would do, give her the bottle, she probably wasn't ready to give it up. Also think about this, you are pregnant with your second child, your daughter will be going through a hard enough time dealing with not being the only child and having your attention diverted somewhat away from her, she needs the bottle for comfort. When you are feeding the baby she will want her time too, so the bottle is her comfort zone or security blanket so to speak. I went through a similar thing with my son when I was pregnant with my third child (also a son) and trust me it only lasted a few weeks. When I had my third child I had a 4 1/2 year old daughter, 2 year old son, and a newborn son with medical problems, so I would feed the baby with the older ones on each side "helping". It worked for me. Also as the time gets closer to your delivery and you are prepping for the baby's arrival, have your daughter help you pick out cloths, sheets, etc., make her be as much a part of the upcoming event as you possibly can. AND GIVE HER HER BOTTLE BACK, YOU BOTH WILL BE MUCH HAPPIER. She will give it up when she is ready.

Hugs,
T.

Dear S.,

Give her the bottle. Of course it's not ideal for a 2 yr old to have a bottle at night, but you are frustrated, exhausted and pregnant, and you need a solution. Giving your daughter a bottle will not scar her for life or retard her emotional development -- but going without it seems to really be a problem for her right now. Take it easy on her, and you, and wait to try again another time.
Good luck!
D.

Hi S.

I'm so sorry you're going through this- I just wanted to reply with do what you feel is right and if that is to give her the bottle and let her sleep a little better, then so be it. I know people whose children had bottles until 3 or 4. I have 4 children ages 8, 6, 5 and 2 and only breastfed, so i can't tell you from experience what I did because I wasn't in those particular shoes.

I can say, however, that being pregnant and having another baby soon, she may do more things to get your attention when baby comes along, she may act a little out of place but that's normal for a 2-3 year old or even 5 year old when a new baby is coming along.

As far as the night terrors, maybe conversations or books about dreams, etc - I wish there was something more I could say, if you feel that talking it out with someone would be better, I am here to chat as well, just send me an email or a private message and we can chat. I do hvae 8 years of mothering experience with 4 kids that are pretty close in age! :)

Big hugs!!!
L.
____@____.com

wow...I must tell you that the message that beautiful child is sending and getting from you is "If I scream, I'll get what I want" Trust me after 5 hours of screaming, mostly every Mom would be ready to "give in". But children are so darn smart, (yea at that age, too) The behaviors will change, when YOU change. The reality is how often have you "given in" when she has screamed her head off??? That is most likely why after 2 months it continues...Are you getting what I am suggesting? YOU STOP--SHE STOPS, trust me you'll outlast her, I promise...She'll eat when she gets hungry (she won't starve to death) Learn right now to IGNORE "certain" behaviors, cause my dear, it only gets worse as they get older...ARE YOU READY? No, I didn't think so...Keep being strong, I wish you well...

It's not worth it, she's only 2 and you need to focus on the next one. Everyone seems to worry to much about what's right vs wrong. I say what's right is what works!! If she sleeps through the night then give it to her, she obviously has not develpoed ways to deal with the anxiety, every child developes at different rates, she'll be fine give her some time, she's also about to have a big adjustment with a new baby she may just need that comfort right now. If your worried about her teeth, give her water.