At What Age Do You Think a Child Can Stay Home Alone

the only states with legal guidelines stating what age a child can stay home alone are maryland and illinois.
it really depends on the maturity of the child. i was staying home alone and watching my sister (three years younger) when i was 10, and babysitting a family of 3 by the time i was 12. my sister, on the other hand, could barely be trusted at home by herself when she was 15, let alone responsible for other human beings. so it depends on how impulsive your child is, how responsible they are for themselves, and how much independence they desire. also depends on how safe the neighborhood is. a friend of mine has a 12 year old daughter she would never consider leaving at home without a babysitter because of the neighborhood they live in.
so yeah, there really isn't a set age. there are guidelines that say 10, others that saw 12, but it's a person to person basis, just like a lot of other things in life.

What an excellent question--- ( and don't forget there are legal guidelines --- re: CPS and police--- I'm not sure what they are but think they are close to :
sitting and waiting in the car while parent ''runs into the store'' --- age 10 to 12

coming home for up to 2 or 3 hours after school
age 11

home alone in the evening - up to 4 hours

age 12 --14

I DO NOT KNOW these ages for a fact ( that they are 'legal and considered appropriate'' - ) but think they are close.

Now-- as to actually deciding that YOUR child should be left- there are a whole set of decisions that relate.

Of my 3 ( now 26, 33 and 39) --the middle one was perfectly comfortable and happy to be alone during the day up to 4 -6 hours when he was 9 ( I didn't leave him - but knew that I could have-- ) - never made a mess- never let in other kids - never---you get the idea- and he loved being on his own. The oldest hated it to the max --- and the youngest was completely impulsive and unpredictable.

You MUST look and decide who your child is. - and then factor in--who in the neighborhood would your child go to if there were a problem---- what kind of neighborhood do you live in- how close is the nearest relative or good friend who'd drop everything if/when your child ( my middle one this was -- the ''NOOOO problem kid ) -- at age 13 goes off his bicycle into a patch of gravel such that a kind neighbor had to drive him to the ER and wait with him while really really painful stuff was done- I got there in time for the cleaning and suturing - he still has a knarly, ugly scar on his knee- but he healed whole --- but things DO happen.

Have I given you a headache??? -- sorry dear heart- it's a tough one--- good to be working on it now- while it's still just '''theory''' --

lololol

J. - aka - old Mom
P.s. - when a child starts to babysit - it's really important to ask yourself ''' is this child really old enough to do what I expect??? --- hiring a 12 year old to watch a 2 year old might be perfect but could easily be really really unfortunate -- the 12 might LOOK grown up - but that's awfully close to needing supervision for their own sake---

do I sound like a grandma???? yup --- lolol

A.,

I can give you my experience, but I don't think I'll repeat it with my kids.

I was 10 years old when my dad (single parent) and I moved out of his parents' place. From then on I was a latchkey kid and could literally spend from the time I got home from school (2-3pm) until bed time (8-9pm) home alone. It's a very lonely time for a kid. I don't recommend it for a child that young for either of your first two situations. For running to the store for a couple of things I think 10 is ok.

At what age would a child be able to stay home alone after school, and while parents go out on a date?? . . . Hmmmm, I think it really depends on the maturity of the kid. Some could probably handle it at 10, some couldn't. I remember babysitting a 12 year old and a 2 year old while I was in high school. Most of those were times when the parents went out for an evening together. The 12 year old just needed a few reminders of what to do; it was mostly watching the 2 year old.

Hope this helps, I could ramble for quite a bit longer.
Melissa

A.,

My family experience is... 9 or 10 to stay home after school alone and while you run to the grocery store and 12 or 13 for a date night. I have felt comfortable leaving my older 3 kids home alone ages 17, 14, 13 for probably the last 2 years. I have just barely left the older 3 with the younger 3 ages 5,3,1 for probably 1 year now, (obviously not the baby,until the last couple of months). However I have one kid in the middle of those two sets of 3 that is 9 yrs old and is ok if it is just him and his brother but not ok if he is alone or with the big group. He just does not make good choices and is our "trouble maker", so to speak. So, I really think it is all up to you to decide what type of kids you have.---I feel to be fair I must add that I do not know how comfortable I would feel if my surroundings were different...we live within 3 blocks of a firestation and about 4 blocks from the grocery store that my sister, brother-in-law and myself all work at, so there is almost never a time that an adult couldn't be at my house within 3 minutes:)

I do let my 5 and 3 year olds play in the front and back yard alone, with the front door open, so I can hear but I have a great big picture window I can see them from and a great big dog that hears everything from the back yard or I just put the dog on the lead in the front yard and feel totally comfortable. I only worry about strangers, not so much with the street because we live in a pretty quiet neighborhood and all the kids play outside and have since they were all pretty much my kids ages,if not younger.

K.

Such a hard question.

It's not just age...or maturity. A lot of it is geography, too. Small towns it's a LOT easier to leave children alone then in cities. Same standpoint, where in the city, & what kind of housing. When I was a child we frequently lived in small towns or on base & I started staying home "alone" (aka with my younger sister), when I was 5. Small town, out in the country, meant my mum could knock on the next door neighbor's door and ask her to keep an ear out for us, and be gone for a few hours. Sometimes we'd meet up with other kids in the village. As long as we left a note, it was okay. Same token when I was 8-10 we lived on the beach in S California, and I wasn't allowed to stay home alone at ALL, because there was sooooo much foot traffic. As soon as we moved into a tightknit community again though, my siblings and myself (and all the other kids in the town), were allowed quite a bit of freedom.

For my son: I was tempted when my son was 5 to take the baby monitor with me to the gym at night (that was about 200 meters from our apartment) but never actually got up the chutzpah to do so. I knew a lot of other mums in our building who did, but I was too nervous.

I have friends in New York though (middle class), that their first graders catch the bus or subway or taxi home from school, do their homework, and then go meet up with other kids from their building. Some of my friends let their kids run down to the bodega, or to the local park, or play on the sidewalk... others they have to stay in the building. That would freak ME out, but in talking with them they look at me funny. Like I still fed MY first grader by hand. Theirs carry debit cards so they can hop in a cab.

The converse to your question, too, is how long do you let your children play outside alone, and how far can they go? I had to check in at mealtimes, but as long as i was there for breakfast, lunch, & dinner, I could go anywhere I wanted from the age of 10 on. My sister had the same freedom @ 8, but we were back in a small town again.

Now we have a house, but we live on a busy street near the U, so it's highly unlikely that I'd let my son stay home alone for any period of time for quite some time. As to WHEN I'd let him stay alone... Honestly, I have no idea. I DO know that I certainly had a lot more freedom then he does. I don't even let him play in our backyard alone. If I don't have any work to do out there, I grab a book or play with him.

I'll be really interested to follow this thread, to see what others do here in THIS city.

:)