At What Age Should Sleepovers Start?

My daughter is almost 7 and she just had her first sleepover. I know some people allow it earlier, but I just couldn't do it. And, I am the same way about where she is allowed to sleep over. I actually said no to one friend, but yes to another because I knew the first set of parents, and knew that I didnt want her there. But, I also agree that you could just start by arranging more playdates with friends. Even on a Friday evening for something special, but they can go home for sleeping. ~A.~

Have you tried the 1/2 sleepover? A child stays for dinner, plays a little, puts on p.j.s - may even snuggle in a sleeping bag with a favorite stuffed animal she has brought, and then watches a movie - then Good-bye! (usually around 8:00).

They feel very grown up (especially if make up and dressing up are involved), get to be big girls and stay up late, but don't have to worry about sleeping somewhere else.

Just as a heads up suggestion for when they get older - I do not allow my daughter to sleep at a home in which I do not know the parents. So, if she knows a friend from school is going to have a sleepover birthday party (very popular in the 2nd grade), she needs to make sure they have had a play date, and I have met the family.

Good luck!
S.

I would base your decision upon her awareness of proper behavior- of adults and children.
I say this because there are so many things that can go wrong when someone else is watching your child. So she needs to have a very good understanding of right and wrong behaviors and how to avoid or escape those behaviors if she needs to.
A lot of this comes with maturity (personaly I think even 6 is way too young, kids are easily swayed by peer and adult pressure at younger ages). And you have to discuss how to be safe with them and be confidant that they can make all the right decisions.
Strangers are not the only adults that can be dangerous, and a pack of kids can quickly misbehave due to peer pressure if they are not properly supervised.
I also remember my mother allowed me to go to sleep overs starting at age 6. There was all sorts of stuff going on that she would probably not have aproved of! Mostly due to my young friends trying to copy their teenage siblings (or immature mother's) lifestyle.
RPocai

I feel that if you are not comfortable then you answered your own question.

Well the age really depends on the parent and the child (i.e. is the child developed maturely enough etc) My sisters child is six and always asks to sleep over. The only place she is allowed to is relatives though. I don't know how comfortable I would be with my child when he or she is five year old sleeping over.But to better suit you because you aren't completely ready why don't you have the sleepover at your house. It is a good compromise where both win. Good luck.

~M.~

I have a 5 yr. old also & she is always asking to go stay at someone's home or have her friends over her. I do have to know *both* parents to feel completely comfortable. One thing I don't feel comfortable is if my child had to take a bath at that persons house.

I like the idea of having a 1/2 night get together just to ease them into the idea. Sometimes at that age they might get scared because their normal routine has changed.

More than likely I'm going to wait until my daughter is 6-7 yrs. old before going on a sleep over. I'm sure she'll want to more once kindergarten starts up.

K.,

I would say, follow your instincts. I think 5 is definitely too young. I have a 5 year old, and she has talked about it a litle bit, but no one in her preschool group or our neighborhood is actually doing that yet.

This is an area I plan to be pretty strict and fuddy-duddy in, because there are just too many possibilities for bad things to happen. I won't let my girls sleep over at anyone's home for as long as possible. I have a friend whose niece spent the night with a friend from church. The girl's father was a deacon. Well, he exposed himself to the niece! So you really never know what could happen, and even when you think you know someone, strange things occur. And now with internet access, all the TV channels, etc, there are so many more avenues for our children to get improperly exposed to bad things.

My thinking is, if the rule is across the board - you can't spend the night with anyone - then I don't have to explain to my child or to any parents why one family is okay and another is not. I think the 1/2 night plan is a great one for older kids. Hang in there! Our girls are the same ages - aren't they fun? Enjoy them, and I believe you almost can't over-protect your kids! Better to hold your ground than have to try to regain lost ground. :)

my daughter started when she was in kindergarten. they are ready when they ask, as will be most of their life experiences whether we are ready or not! for her first sleepover just let her know how much fun she could possilby have but if something were to turn sour or if she just wanted to come let her know that you will be there for her. sleepovers are a great social experience packed with lots of lasting laughs and memories!

HI K. ,
I am a mother of three and my oldest is 7 yrs old and I dont let her do sleep over's just because I think shes too young and now day's you dont know who to trust so I explain to my daughter that I just dont feel comfortable her being at some one elses house when I am not around try letting her friends come to your house and make it fun for them .Good Luck

I think they should start whenever you and your daughter are both comfortable with it. My daughter is only 4 1/2 and has been on a couple of sleepovers, but only b/c my husband & I know the child and parents ( both the mother and the father )very well and so does she and they live in our neighborhood. We've actually had a few sleepovers at our house too ( same kid ) and she much prefers to have them at our house as opposed to going over there. Other than those people, I don't really see myself letting her go on sleepovers until she's older, maybe 1st or 2nd grade. and as she knows already,she has to abide by certain rules and I will definitely remind her that she can call me to come home at any time. Like someone else said, when she keeps bugging me about it and I know she's ready ( and I know the parents and know where they live), then I'll let her do it. You just have to be so cautious these days.

I know this isn't most peoples feelings but I personally will never let my son spend the night at someone's house, except family. I am way to nervous about what type of people the parents are. I will allow kids to spend the night at our house but that is as far as the sleepovers will go. If you are to nervous to let her sleep over why not ask the other parents if they are comfortable with there kid coming to your house.

We've had my daughter's friends sleep over at our house as early as age 6, but my daughter has yet to sleep at one of her friend's houses yet. It's not that we don't trust her friends' parents, it just hasn't worked out that way so far. I definitely think waiting until 6 is better. It also depends on the child. The first little girl who spent the night at our house was very mature and she did beautifully. My daughter is a little more immature and I think she would probably get "homesick" fairly easily at someone else's house overnight. She's done that before when she stayed overnight at her grandmother's house, and I believe she was 6 when that happened. My sister-in-law has commented on how attached she is to us and how she doesn't think she would be able to visit them overnight until she was at least 8 or 9 without being too anxious about it. And my daughter adores my SIL and BIL. So, to answer your question, I think 5 is too young, and depending on your child, 6 or 7 could be too young as well. Most importantly, of course, is whether or not you feel comfortable with the other child's parents. Obviously, the children's parents who let them stay over at our house were comfortable with us and there were no problems. To appease your daughter until you feel she is old enough, frequent playdates are definitely the way to go. That's how we've built trust with our daughter's friends' parents over time and the girls get plenty of time to play together as well. :-)