AWOL 5 Year Old

Great responses here already. My youngest daughter was like this. Started walking out the door around 18 mos of age to take herself to the park. I got the video camera ready one day and waited so I could prove it to my husband. She walked all the way to the neighborhood park without looking back even once. There was absolutely no reasoning at that age. So we installed those little flip locks high up on all the doors she could walk out. She's still an outdoors kind of girl and only comes in to get a drink, eat dinner and go to bed.

It's important to inform the young ones of all the possible dangers, but I definitely recommend the locks, because you're ultimately responsible if something amiss happens. And they lack the impulse control to obey all the rules when fun is on the horizon.

Good luck!
Jennifer

Have you explained to him about strangers "stealing" him and the bad things that they might do to him. He probably has no concept of the idea that someone may take him. We have made sure that our children are well aware of the fact that there are "bad" people out there, that will do terrible things to little kids. Yes, it's scary, but if it scares him, he won't be so eager to go running off. Our kids don't leave our sides,either in public settings or at home, without letting us know where they are, and making sure they know exactly where we are. My husband is in law enforcement, so even from a younger age, he has shared stories with them from work just to get it through to them how dangerous it can be to leave without letting mom and dad know. It is so important that he realizes what could really happen to him and that it is not good.

My 3 yr old has done the same thing. She just doesn't know what she is doing is dangerous. She found a key and was "helping" by going to the mail box at the end of the street. Of course I was changing clothes. One of the neighbors found her and called me before I ever managed to brush my hair. My dog had followed her, so when I got there I was greeted with a big hello because she had no clue what she had done was wrong. He wouldn't let a stranger near her but couldn't stop her from wandering.

We put those locks on the doors and they are ok, but can be shoved open if they aren't installed properly. My 17 yr old opened it with the lock engaged. I have also added an extra tall baby gate to the front door so we don't have a repeat.

my youngest son is now 18. he too has always been "independent". when he was 18 months old, i decided to take a shower while he was napping. when i got out of the shower( it was a very quick shower), he was gone. i looked all over the house , in the yard all over the neighborhood, he was just gone. i called the police and had all the neighbors looking for him. i called my oldest son who was in junior high and his whole wrestling team came to help look for him. we looked all over for about an hour. the police told me to go back to the house in case he came back and they would look for him. i was devastated . i went into the kitchen and put my head down on the counter and started sobbing. i heard a little voice say" dont cry mommy" . he was on top of the refrigerator! i called everyone back and when i asked him ifhe heard us calling for him he said he did but was playing "hide and seek". i saw how h got up on the fridge. our microwave was placed up agianst the fridge and he put the toaster on top of that and climbed up. he said he was taking a nap for a while. i have never felt so scared in my life

My son was like that at an early age. One day, as I was finishing up with loading laundry into the machine, I came into the living room to find a neighbor standing in it. He liked her doggies, so had decided to go visit. Her door was opened as she was doing some cleaning, so he went right in to play. After that embarrassment, we went to Home Depot and got this lock that's actually a hinge that locks in place when you close it. It's great against people who might credit card your door or pick the lock, too. It was too high for him to reach, but even when he did figure out how to get a step stool, he still couldn't figure out how to open it. You pull up and then out. It was very inexpensive and worked so very well. We kept it on the door for security, and are continuing to use it now that a second has come along.

HTH

C.,

There is nothing to think about, there is nothing to discuss. You need to get an additional safety lock for your door. Teach your son about boundaries and dangers once you KNOW he is completely safe. I'm sure I don't need to tell you what could happen to an unsupervised five year old in this day and age.

Here is the lock that the other ladies were talking about:

http://www.kidsafeinc.com/product/8705/Door_Flip_Lock_for...

It's a fantastic product that you can pick up at any hardware store (and probably even Walmart). It costs only a few dollars and takes seconds to install. Be sure to put it up as high as you can comfortably reach. Your son might be able to get to it, but not without some serious effort (and stacking of furniture) that you're sure to notice.

There's really no reason NOT to take this small step to keep your kids safe, C.. Imagine living with the regret of not doing so! I encourage you to get one TODAY.

Hi, C. -

I feel your pain. I have a 5 year old girl, and we've experienced this. I did two things. I don't know if you have an alarm system on your house, but if you do, set it so that your doors chime every time one is opened. The second thing is to purchase inexpensive locks that you install on the inside of the door. It's just a litte brass lock that flips across the door so that it won't open. You install them high enough so that he can't reach them. My daughter can now open them, but in order to do so she has to drag a chair over to the door. Not something I'd miss. Keep talking to him about the dangers of you not knowing where he is. I think this frustrating/scary stage will pass - for both of us!
Good luck.

My son will be 4 in August, he has left the house before as well which scared the bejeezes out of me especially since his 20 month old brother follows him. Fortunately the first time it happened my 20 month old was only 1 year and he could not walk yet and was too afraid to crawl down the threshold step. But my son ran over to our neighbors house to play with their son... I have explained to him that someone could take him or if he runs in the street he will get "flattened like a pancake" by a car (which he frequently repeats to my 20 month old when he tries to make a break for the street). I had to explain that just because our neighbor lets her 3 year old wander around out front alone does not mean he can and that he can get really hurt badly without my husband or myself with him. My son has backed down from doing it for the most part although he will come outside when one of us is out there even when we tell him not to and I have to stop him from opening the door when someone knocks. We had to install one of those little metal flip plate things they have that are similar to what you see in hotels up as high as we can reach so my son cannot reach it even when standing on a chair. It is always flipped closed so even if he unlocks the door he cannot open it more than a crack. We lock it at night and during nap time or anytime we know we are not going to be in the room for longer than a couple of minutes. You could also try the little alarms you can put on windows to alert you when it is opened, we did that with our back door and it is really loud so you can hear it and it also distracts the kid & makes them aware that you have probably heard the alarm so they wont escape. Hope this helps...

I had a son like that. Still have him, he's just grown. lol. Anyway I agree you can talk till your blue in the face, but you have to take extra precautions. Better safe then sorry, with your child crossing the street or worse. I bought the plastic door knob covers made for children's safety. I can't remember the name of them, but we use to call it 'The Thing'. Sometimes even grown up's can't open the door with these things over the door knob, as you have to squeeze just right while turning. In my home now, we have two door knobs, one at regular level and one up high. You have to turn them at the same time to open the door that goes out to the pool. This keeps my Grands a little safer!

C.,
I too have a very strong willed child and is clearly expressing independance!
I think the most important thing to do is to express the dangers of leaving without permission. (strangers, unknown dangers like dogs, animals, snakes, scorpions, coyotes) I would try to put a little healthy fear in his head! Plus let him know how worried and sad you would be if you could not find him.
As far as securing the house, I have very high dead bolts on all the exits of my home. Also, because we have a pool, we also have a self-closing mechanism attached to our sliding glass door that is up high. Plus we have the security hinge on the front door. We have never had an issue with a child escaping. Another thing we have, is a security door on the front. It can only be open by a key and it is great because we can have the door open to see outside and get fresh air too without any worry.
Good luck!

Hi C., I agree with Julianne, he needs to understand why not to do that. Locks are fine at your house but what about when grandma is watching him or someone else? The first time either of my kids even opened the door to go out on their own I firmly told them that was not ok, it was not safe, and they had BETTER NOT EVER DO IT AGAIN! I gave them "the look" and spoke strongly to them. Neither of them ever did it again and I've never had extra locks on any door. It won't matter what kind of lock you put on the door, they will learn to open it. They have to understand it's just not an option for them to do that and you have to watch them at all times. Good luck to you!