I've been working with my 3 1/2 year old and my 6 month old for months to share a room. The baby is still waking 3-4 times a night to eat (we tried sleep training to get it down but it didn't work), and often cries at other times either to get back to sleep or just because he woke up.
My older son has been sleeping in my bed with me (long story-dad sleeps downstairs) while we were working with the baby, but we're trying to get him back to his bed.
The baby usually goes to sleep about 630 and can put himself to sleep. But when my older son goes in about 7 (even if he's asleep and it's just me making noise to carry him in), the baby wakes up and then they're both awake.
Then, when the baby wakes during the night, he often fusses and does a little crying after eating before he goes back to sleep and this usually wakes the older one.
We only have a 2 bedroom house, so have no choice but to have them sharing. Also, it's an older house with creaky wood floors which doesn't help much, but that usually doesn't make too many issues.
Any advice would be appreciated.
I had to ask, you said you tried sleep training and it did not work? The only way for sleep training to work is to keep at it and do it consistently. Letting my babies fuss for up to 5 minutes at night before running in with food to see if they would self sooth had them both sleeping through the night by 2 months olds. Just keep working on it and the baby should get it.
.
Put the crib in your bedroom. This is too much for a toddler to handle, and the baby is still needing night feedings, so you are going to the baby anyways. Problem solved.
We have 3 bedrooms but will have 3 kids come May so we are planning to put the crib in our room until the baby is not waking as much during the night and then shift whichever sex the baby is into the room of the older sibling (currently have 2 yo boy and 3 yo girl).
Of course my SIL put her 2 girls in together from 3 mos on and eventually they just got used to it (they are 22 mos apart) -- their master bedroom was not big enough to accomodate a crib too. Depends on how much stress you want to deal with right now regarding the sleep situation.
Personally, I think putting the crib in your room would be the best option for now. It's unrealistic to expect a 3 yo NOT to wake a baby when he goes to bed and he's probably being disturbed by the 3-4 time night feedings as well. Good luck!
I didn't read any of your responses, buy my immediate response is to put the baby's crib in your room, and give your 3 year old peace to sleep. With as much attention as your 6 month old needs at this point, it only makes sense to have him close to you, to save you and him some trouble. And it seems like your 3 year old was sleeping fine, but is having his sleep pattern disrupted by all this chaos. Not good. Never mess with a well-sleeping child!!! lol
Even if you have to move a dresser or something out of your room into your sons' room to make room for the crib, that's what I'd do. It only makes sense.
Put the baby in your room.
Problem solved.
To artificially sleep train a child/baby just because they are sharing a room... will not work.
They are a baby and a 3 year old. Different age phases and sleep tweaks and baby still needs feedings and will wake/fuss/cry no matter what.
Just separate them.
Baby in your room.... until older and more mature biologically to then sleep better....
Our son, was in his crib, in our room.... until 3 years old.
We have lack of space too.
We have wood floors that creak. Too.
My kids share a space, to sleep.... a revised room that we made into a 'bedroom' for them. They now have their own beds. But this was not until they were older.
the baby, should still be in a crib, in your room. To me. And then, your 3 year old can get a better sleep. A tired or sleep deprived toddler..... will not fare well. At all. In the long run.
And a baby... just due to a baby's nature.... WILL wake and need to feed and make noises. It can't be helped.
all the best,
Susan
I haven't read any responses, but my first thought is to put the baby in with you and let your 3 year old get some much needed rest. A 6 month old still needs to eat during the night and if there is any upset (like diaper rash, illness, teething, etc) then the baby is going to wake more often anyway even if sleep trained. Having baby in your room is co-sleeping and many studies have shown that this regulates their breathing, heart rate, etc. It also makes them feel more secure and you get more rest if you can simply place a hand on your baby and soothe them back to sleep or nurse or feed your baby and get back to sleep without having to deal with your 3 year old waking. I have 11 month old twins and a 4 year old and having the babies in our room was a lifesaver. I could get up with one as soon as they stirred, meet their needs and be back to sleep sometimes in just 10 minutes. When the other one wakes, same thing. I am always able to sense them stirring and beginning to wake, so I can get to them before they wake all the way and get them back to sleep easily, it also keeps everyone else asleep and much happier in the morning!
We did the same with ours. A few things really helped us:
1. Husband and I were on the same page the whole time, and we took turns with night duty. You need support, and so does he.
2. We did not put the younger one in with the older one until he was totally sleep trained. That meant that we put him to sleep in our bedroom, and when we went to bed, we wheeled him into the hallway. We all slept better that way.
3. A white noise machine will REALLY help! We have used fans and humidifiers for that purpose, but I know that Target also sells white noise machines. A radio on static will also work. The background noise helps drown out creaking floors, night whimpers, etc. It really is a wonderful help!
Now we can probably hold a rock concert in our living room and the boys would sleep right through it. It took a lot of work to get to this point, but it is so very worth it!
It will get better with time. Ours were the exact same age apart and we had similar wake-up issues. We had a lot of nights of no one getting great sleep but eventually it worked out.
On thing I have done with my older is to do the night routine downstairs (read books, say good nights, etc.) then let her know that I can tuck her in and cuddle and hug a bit but no talking after we enter the room. After a few months this is now our regular routine and it is actually kind of fun to just be silent.
My boys are three years apart and they shared for about two years. It was challenging at first and sometimes my three year old would call out "baby is crying!" because hubby and I were sleeping so hard - LOL!
But seriously, nothing he didn't get used to.
I tried to be on-top of the infant crying and feeding and even altered the younger child's schedule to better coincide with eating when older brother was heading to sleep to give him quiet.
I also found that soft music served as great white noise that also drowned out other noises such as creaky floors/rocker.
It can be done:)
get a white noise machine to drown out the noise of your footsteps.
or get dad back in bed with you, 3 yr old in his bed, and put baby downstairs at bedtime?? That might not work if baby goes to bed so early, but maybe having baby sleep with y'all still making noise will help him get used to noise.
