My 13 month old is a grate sleeper--when she finally goes down. I am still breastfeeding so the night time sleep is easier. While I would prefer not to nurse to sleep, it has worked for us all this time. Once she falls asleep, I move her to the crib. 8 times out of 10 she doesn't wake up, or if she does, she will cry for about 2-3 minutes and then go right back to sleep.
Her naps on the other hand, are more difficult. Shell fall asleep anywhere, but the minute I lay her down in her crib, she wakes up and cries. I often let her "cry it out"-- never more than 10 minutes, and she does usually fall asleep on her own, but I hate to have to let her cry herself to sleep. I truly thought after trying the CIO method for a week or two, she would take to it better, it's been over 4 months now! Will she EVER learn to go into the crib (awake, or awakened) and go to sleep/fall back asleep without crying???
I'm afraid to try weaning the night time feeding for fear of putting in her crib awake at night and hearing her cry herself to sleep then too!!
If she's only crying for 10 minutes and then falling asleep I dont think that is too bad. She's just a little angry and tired. If she were crying longer I'd have a different opinion on it.
She might go to bed at night even easier than you think since it's dark. Give it a try and see what happens. You wont damage her by experimenting a little :)
If she's not crying for more than 10 minutes, she's fine. I bet you "toss and turn" for about 10 minutes before you fall asleep a lot of nights too. She's just crying because she's tired and not asleep, not because she needs anything from you. If she needed something, she'd keep crying : )
Good luck.
My 4 children hated their beds. I learned after the 3rd child to put a shirt that would smell like me. My 4th child sleeps with my FAVORITE blanket in his bed and he sleeps soundly. I do let them cry it out a little bit, but I do listen to their cries. You can tell when they are not ready for bed, when they are crying to "find their spot" in their bed, when they are wet, want out of their bed, etc. I think it's just their way of "whining" or adjusting to things..verbally. Know what I mean? I do stand by thought for 10-15mins just to make sure everything is okay.
Maybe you can try a shirt that smells like you and lay it on his bed...it could even by his mattress(hopefully not).
She may or may not adjust. I'd let her keep crying it out however, otherwise she might get the notion that if she cries long enough she doesn't have to sleep.
My daughter slept fine in a crib, my niece never slept in her crib, not once. She turned two and got a toddler bed lol. It just depends on the kid. I think the first child is more likely to have problems sleeping alone.
I'd disagree with many posters here. You do not have to let her cio. She can't talk, so she is letting you know her needs by crying. We were a co-sleeping family when my son was little. Never used a crib, and he transitioned to his bed just fine. We nursed at nap times, and then I put him down in a safe space. I did try a pack and play several times, but he startled when lowered into the pack and play. Maybe your daughter doesn't like the feeling of being moved into the crib at that time. Nothing wrong with nursing her at night. Listen to YOUR instincts. If you are uncomfortable hearing her cry, then pick her up, hold her nurse her. That is ok!
Do you nurse her down for nap as well?
I've had kids that go through phases about their reaction to being put down for nap--sometimes they conk out no fuss at all, sometimes scream for a few minutes, sometimes they play awhile and then sleep. They'll go awhile with no crying and then when their routine has been different (sick, at home for an extended period instead of with me 5 days a week for daycare) they'll fuss more. You could try what I do--I go back in after a few minutes, lay them back down without engaging them much and say "Sleep sleep" or "Nap time" and then leave. Repeat as my instincts tell me to --I don't letting them full on CIO but some fussing is not a huge deal either. I try to do a mini version of their bedtime routine at nap time-- lunch, little free play, stories in my lap and then up to bed --some have a snuggle toy which helps. Try nursing with a toy that she favors and then let her take it to sleep with her--helps alot!
If it's only for 10 minutes, it sounds like she just like to make her own white noise to wind down to sleep. Both of my kids are the same way, my 2 year old and my 5 month old. With my first I would never put him down until he was completely asleep and he ended up being a terrible sleeper until we went through an excrutiating CIO process around 11 months. After he figured out how to soothe himself to sleep, he still would whine/groan/fuss for a few minutes before zonking out. Now he's 26 months and just kind of talks to himself or sings a little while he's falling asleep and between sleep cycles. My daughter is 5 months old and I just recently started putting her down while she was drowsy but awake and walking away. She rarely cries for more than 10 minutes and I KNOW that if I were to stay with her and try to soothe her to sleep, she would force herself to stay awake to play rather than going to sleep (because this is what she has done for the past 5 months lol)
Your daughter will probably always make some kind of noise to put herself to sleep, it will just change from crying to whining to yodleing to talking over time. And as for the nighttime feeding, she's still really young to go the entire night without a feed. Most adults (Myself included) can't go 12 hours without a snack or drink, so i wouldn't expect a baby to be able to either. It sounds like everything you're doing it working out fine--it is hard hearing them cry, but rest assured that your daughter is 100% fine and is just using her "voice" to soothe herself to sleep.
You aren't truly doing CIO if you nurse her to sleep at night, the sooner you stop nursing her to sleep the better for her. You will eventually want to stop nursing and then you will have to do some method of sleep training and she is so into that routine now, it will be much more difficult to break the longer you do it. Also you have to consider her teeth, if you are nursing her to sleep, the milk sits on her teeth all night which isn't a good thing.
There is nothing wrong with her crying/making sounds of some type before falling asleep. How many adults go to bed and fall asleep immediately, we generally need a few minutes before before asleep.
