Baby's First Week Alone W/grandparents

I agree with Manda it seems a little harsh to be leaving baby with someone they don't know right when stranger anxiety starts.
I know the felling of wanting to get away, but really they are little once & for such a short time.
Trust me they will be rolling their eyes & trying to avoid all contact soon enough!

I agree with everyone who says they should at least stay at your house so he has SOME familiarity.

I personally would not leave a child with someone he/she didn't know, regardless of age or temperment, and to do this to a 7 month old who can't even communicate needs very well seems particularly harsh to me :(

It would be so much easier for grandparents to come and stay at your
house. Would not be as traumatic for your baby.

i would personally have them come and stay at your house with him. a lot easier in my opinon because he is not being taken out of his environment and he isnt traveling with them on a plane/car for 10+ hrs in a strange house for a week then traveling back home it is just TOO much in my opinion. and this way IF something would happen to where they needed to take him to the dr his pedi is there and hospitals that she works with are there

The few times we did something like this the grandparent came to OUR house. We went away for a weekend when he was 3 months old (our 10th anniversary), again for a weekend when he was about a year - 14 months, and for a week when he was 18 months old (we both had work commitments). We alternate which grandmother gets to watch him and we pay the travel cost for grandma to get here. We also skype grandparents fairly regularly (our little guy is almost 2 yrs) which helps with familiarity.

I personally won't leave him for a week unless my hubby would be with him or if my hubby was going to be gone, I would be there. For me, that holds true now too and my daughter is 4.

I think it may be better if your FIL came early and got reacquainted before it was time to leave w/ your son or you should go to NY sooner and spend a day or two.

It really isn't my intention to make you feel bad about this and it sounds like you have your heart set on your time away from your baby (heaven knows we all need a break and at 7 months you are probably dying for some me time) - but i feel so sad for your son. At this age he is just at the stage of understanding that you can leave and with that, that you might not come back. If a child has a healthy attachment, this is when separation anxiety begins and it is a very vulnerable time in the development of his emotional brain for you to be leaving him. Studies at how babies and young children faired during hospital admissions without their parents (very badly) have contributed to our understanding of this and why hospital policies have been changed to ensure that the mother/father can be with the child as much as possible. He cannot reason where you are gone, why you have gone and if you are ever coming back and a week is a huge time at this age. I do not think it is too strong to say that he will feel like you have left him and with no other adult around who is securely attached to, it will be very hard for him to seek the appropriate comfort that will ease his pain. I wonder if you can remember what it was like to be a small child and what it would have felt like to be left by your parents with people you had never met and without knowing when they were coming back. Just because he is preverbal does not mean that this is less significant to him - in view of the rapidity of his developing brain it is arguably more significant. How we parent a baby at this age determines how they will be in the future - 1 in 10 adults suffer from anxiety or depression. We know from Bowlby's seminal work on attachment that how this is handled in babyhood / infancy determines whether an individual will go on to develop mental health issues / behavioral issues in later childhood/adulthood.

Again, I'm so sorry to say all this - i have worked with so many children and adults with anxiety, depression, eating disorders etc that i often wish that parents could be given a little bit more information about how crucial it is to support their baby's emotional development as well as their physical development.

Can you take him with you - this is a lovely age to take a baby on holiday - they are so excited to see new things and have new experiences and you will have memories that will last a lifetime. Can you have a staycation and put some of the money towards hiring someone (from Sittercity) who can come in early mornings or evenings so your husband and you can go out for dinners and have lie-ins?

Your son will be just fine when your FIL comes to pick him up. Curiously though why don't the inlaws come and stay at your place while your'e gone? So glad that you trust your Inlaws to babysit.

Is there any way they can stay at your home? Mini vacation for them and a lot less travel and adjustment for him.

Ah I remember my mom telling M. that my brother was the sweetest baby ever.. never cried and went with everyone. He loved spending time with our grandparents always, so my mom left him at their place and went out of town for a day to attend a wedding.She said that he threw a tantrum the whole day and her parents didn't know what to do or how to console him because he was like a totally different baby from the one they knew.After that incident , it seems he got extremely clingy to her and a fussy baby crying for everything and that continued until he was 2-3 years or so.She still regrets leaving him alone that day.
The reason I am telling you this is - don't be too sure your son will do fine without you around. And 7 months is just around that age when they start asking for M.. Mine is 10 months old. He is my first and I used to feel very sad when he never seemed to care when I left for work when he was 3 months. I am at home or not didn't matter to him. We had a nanny for him at 6 months - he got along with her very easily. By 7-8 months he started crying every morning when I would leave for work. Now he sometimes gets inconsolable around new people - he just wants M..He was just like your son earlier but babies change.
My advice his ease him to this - don't just leave him for a week just like that. It will be very hard for him and you too once you realize he is not doing good without you around.Just my 2 cents!

I'm wondering why the grandparents would be picking him up at your house in IL and driving him to NY? Since they're making the drive to IL, wouldn't it be easier for all concerned if they just stay at your house with the baby???? That way the baby is in his familiar surroundings, his own crib, high chair etc...

My daughter, now two, would go to ANYONE and adjusted great to new situations. But I wouldn't have had people she didn't know pick her up and take her away for a week. And at that age she would suddenly go through stranger anxiety every once in a while. I'd be afraid for that whole week that she would think I had just left and wasn't coming back - you can't explain to a seven month old that you're coming back in a week. Plus, at that age their usually starting to crawl around and get into stuff, so as much as I trust the grandparents, I'd want to do a little babyproofing of my own - I can look and see exactly what my kid will get into, whereas the grandparents just don't know yet. And is your son going to fly with the grandparents? I wouldn't be comfortable with that either. Flying can be a stressful experience and I wouldn't want to put that on either my kid or the grandparents. Parenting is full of sacrifices. You're getting a vacation for a week, so take the day and drop off your son.

I have 2 answers:

#1:

I expect we'll be hearing back from you shortly after your return about all kinds of sleep and anxiety issues developed during your absence.

Just sayin.....you are leaving your little baby at the exact age stranger anxiety and separation from mommy issues kick in. This IS the age it starts. You don't know this b/c it's your first. It happens with most kids right at 7 mos. Your baby will not remember anything from when he was 3 mos or being left with a babysitter at 6 mos....those incidents are so far in the past for him now. He's entered a totally new phase of emotional development and you being 'permanently' gone in his mind and sent off to strangers could have all kinds of possible endings.

I personally don't see a big difference between a car ride or a plane ride. The bigger issue is both parents being gone.

You sound like you have your minds made up. We'll be here when you return and can't get your baby back on his routine, or to sleep, or has night terrors, cries irrationally and unexpectedly over you leaving him, etc.

#2 answer: Part of my family just went to Hawaii for 10 days, and my nephew (brother's son) brought his 1 year old son with him. That couple never married, and that baby does not know his daddy very well outside a couple of visits, and the baby was happy go lucky the entire time on the trip. Readily went to Granddad, Grandma, and Great Grandma whom he had never met. Everyone commented how what sweet and happy baby he was. I have not heard how the reunion with mom went. But the trip was fine. However, that's a common personality trait in our family: happy go lucky, never met a stranger kind of outlook.

Well, wherever your in-laws watch your son, you should all spend some time together to acclimate your son. If he is mobile, whether it's combat crawling or crawling on all fours, you should make sure their home is adequately baby-proofed. My thought is it would be so much easier for you to have them watch him at your house since you already have all of the supplies, clothes, etc. If it will be in NY, then also pack your son's crib sheets so that there's some familiarity for him, particularly for sleeping! Even when we stay in hotels and get a crib or pack 'n play from the hotel, we always bring sheets, blankets and favorite stuffed animals from home. In the end, your son will be fine but he may have a difficult transition at this age when you first leave and you'll see the result when you return if he's more clingy and wants to be held all of the time. Enjoy your trip!

Updated

Well, wherever your in-laws watch your son, you should all spend some time together to acclimate your son. If he is mobile, whether it's combat crawling or crawling on all fours, you should make sure their home is adequately baby-proofed. My thought is it would be so much easier for you to have them watch him at your house since you already have all of the supplies, clothes, etc. If it will be in NY, then also pack your son's crib sheets so that there's some familiarity for him, particularly for sleeping! Even when we stay in hotels and get a crib or pack 'n play from the hotel, we always bring sheets, blankets and favorite stuffed animals from home. In the end, your son will be fine but he may have a difficult transition at this age when you first leave and you'll see the result when you return if he's more clingy and wants to be held all of the time. Enjoy your trip!

I think either way, it'll be somewhat traumatic for him. Briefly meeting grandpa before grandpa takes him away from mom/dad to a strange place, or bringing him yourself to a strange place with people who he doesn't remember, neither really seems better than the other. However, if you haven't seen the grandparent's house and how it's set up, I would want to check out the baby proofing myself and set up the car seat in their car myself. I think it would also be wise to have the grandparents observe you and hubby performing the daily schedule for an entire day.

We went away for 10 days when my little guy was 18 mos. We took him to my SILs house. It worked out great but he was totally familiar with her as we only live a few towns away. He did well and now has a great bond with his Auntie because of that even though he doesn't remember it hardly at all (he's 7 now and I just asked him if he remembers). But 7 months is very young to be left in a strange place with essentially strangers (to him anyway). I would have to agree with others if there's any way your in-laws could come stay at your house at least yout son would have the familiarity of his own home, bed, etc. I do think my started tantrums shortly after we returned hOme from that trip, coincidence?? I do t regret it but know there may be sone fallout. Is there any way to postpone for a short time?

Alrighty here, some time back the grandparents raised you people and apparently you are both alive. Perhaps you should both relax no matter what happens in the delivery (landing?) and trust barring some strange thing happening like aliens or bad things that can happen once in awhile, you two both made it and baby will too. Just my thought. My goodness if my parents would have picked up my children I would have been thrilled. If I was able to go out and drop them off and go on a vacation I would have been thrilled. Why not do whatever is affordable, wonderful and convenient? In this case if grandparents would pick them up (and sounds like they can't wait- and I can't wait for grandchildren by the way!) the what the heck, let them do it. They are eager to do so, so in all likelihood they are eager to deal with your beautiful baby who could quite possibly have a little stranger anxiety. Enjoy your vacation!

I think one of you needs to drop him off in NY. (Agree though, it would be best if they stayed at your house if possible.) Spend some time at their house. Talk about how he likes things, what your routine is and make sure everything is baby-proofed. I think you'll be surprised at how much there is to explain to them once you are there. And I agree with everyone who says, it's easy to think you have an adaptable baby, but one week is a very long time for a baby to be in different surroundings with new people. There is no comfort level there. Make sure to bring all his crib comforts! Good luck!

I would take him there and drop him off in person. Even if you only have 1/2 a day you can have that time to answer your in-laws questions and they can learn some of the practicalities of how you care for your son in that time. I think it would be a bit easier on your son as well.

First of all, Congrats on having a really well adjusted and confident baby! My 1 year old would FREAK if I left him over night, much less a week. Prime example of how all babies are different!! : )
Anyhoo...I think that it would be nice if you have the time and cash to go and drop him off then do it. But if it will create more stress and hardship, then don't! Your baby will know if you are more stressed, and will in turn be stressed as well. If it is much easier and simpler to have Grandpa pick him up, then do that. Your baby will be comfortable with the transition if you are.

Below, it should say dropped off not groped off...sorry! Phone tried to autocorrect my typo : )

I have read most of the replies you got and no one mentioned the one thing I believe is you haven't addressed - YOUR peace of mind. Sure, right now all you are thinking about is getting away and having a break. Trust me, I have been there! But it won't take long before you are on this trip, separated from your son for the first time, when the worry will set in. Your trip will be a complete waste if you don't actually enjoy it, and when you're a mom, you can't help but be thinking of your child constantly. If it were me, I'd want as much peace of mind as possible, and watching my inlays drive off with my child, not really knowing how he is doing wouldn't help me. If it were me, I'd feel way better knowing my son was at least home in his own environment, or at the very least that I had groped him off myself to see in person where he will be staying all week. Just think about it and try to picture yourself on this trip without your son. Babies aren't the only ones who get separation anxiety.

PS, sorry for any typos. Writing on my phone and can't reread for errors.

I say yes drop him off.
He will have less apprehension, better transition, you can set things up there.
Better to hand off being there than letting someone come take him.
He's young and will still have stranger anxiety as well as separation anxiety.
While it may be out of the way, think of it this way, better to do al you can at this special time for your young son that cannot speak for himself so you can go on and do something fun for yourself w/your hubby for a week.
I say help him transition, answering any questions your in-laws or your parents may have. This will ease the transition for them as well. I know this is a "trying" time but it will never come again. Make sure they have all necessary emergency phone numbers (both your cells #'s, doctor's numbers, medical record number for doctor visit if necessary, all food, milk, formula, medicines etc.
I say drop off, give lots of hugs, kisses then off you go to have some important alone/down time.
Oh and don't forget his favorite blanket, toy or binkie. :)