My son, who is now 12 weeks old, has been taking bottles periodically from both my husband and I - some with breastmilk that I have pumped, and some with formula. We were giving him the bottle to make sure that he would take it when it came time for me to go back to work. Three days ago when I gave him a bottle again, he absolutely refused it. We have been trying different bottles and having different people give him the bottle a couple times a day for the last three days, but no luck. I have to go back to work tomorrow. Fortunately, I live less than a minute from work and will be able to feed my son from the breast at least once during the day at lunch time. A friend of mine said her son stopped taking bottles and she let him cry (all day) until he was so hungry that he finally took the bottle. I don't think I can do this - I cry just thinking about it. Any suggestions?
Thank you all for your helpful suggestions. My son Max still does not want to take a bottle of any kind, from anyone! I breast eed him right before I leave for work and then my grandparents, who are taking care of him, bring him to work at lunchtime so I can feed him then also. We will keep trying with the bottle and if he doesn't take it, so be it...I am a teacher and I have 2 more months of school (I am not going back to work in the fall) and then I can spend all day with my baby feeding him whenever he needs it! Thanks again,
J. :)
I had the same problem at first. Try leaving the house and let someone else give him the bottle. My son is the same age and he will not take a bottle from me because he would rather have the breast. If I leave and let someone else give it to him, he protests at first but will eventually take it when he is hungry enough.
Hi J.,
Congratulations on Max. My daughter is going to be 8 months tomorrow and she is only breast fed. Either by me or a bottle. When I was home on maternity leave I did not think until she was 8 weeks to start to get her to take a bottle. She would drink a few sips maybe .5oz. I was getting nervous because she would not take it from my husband or myself. I was getting really upset and thought I would either have to quit work or just let her cry it out (which I was against). A week before I had to go back to work I had my nanny come to learn the ropes and I had a few errons to run. My daughter with no crying no complaints drank her entire bottle. It was something to say that a new person who she did not know was giving her the bottle. Now my husband, nanny and I can give her the bottle without any trouble. The only trouble I have is if I have not pumped she smells the milk and will want more after her bottle.
I think he will take the bottle from the caregiver and you will be surprised. If you do live near your office can the caregiver bring him to you so you can feed? It would be the same thing if you had to take a few minutes to pump. Good luck!
Dear J.,
I recommend against the "let-him-cry" option for many valid mental and physical health reasons. The question is: what was in the bottle he refused? Breast milk smells different to the baby. Take a step back to 3parts breast milk to 1 part formula in the bottle. Decrease by 1 part breast milk/day or every two days to ease him into being comfortable with the bottle. The only thing necessary for breast-feeding is that the breast and the baby's mouth be in the same physical location several times a day --- soooo, it seems what you need most of all is a baby-sitter with a car. Your breast must stay at work for 8 hours, but the baby is portable, and you have breaks, lunch, and a cellphone. As a surgery resident I successfully breastfed 2 babys for 1 year each during my residency aided by a cooperative driving sitter. So I know it works. A surgery resident always works far more than 8 hours/day. Always leave some frozen breastmilk in your freezer for emergencies. Your own milk supply is of enough volume now that stopping breast feeding completely is not only not necessary, but it is not good for you physically. Or mentally. Why ask for crying for mom or baby? It is not an all-or-none situation here, you just have to think outside the conventional box. If both Max and Mom are happy, then you have found the solution. Smile politely at those who insist otherwise, but serenely ignore them. If Max and Mom are happy, Dad will be, too. Just seems to work that way, and no one else counts.
J., the MD
do everything to NOT let him cry. its bad enough when someone has their baby cry themselves to sleep, but out of HUNGER? hedoesnt understand. you are also lucky that he prefers you as many babies want the bottle more and stop nursing when using both because its easier. anyway, not sure who is watching the baby? i agree to let this person feed him and see how it goes, but also if they could bring him to you, it would be great. are you planning on pumping at work? if you get 2 15 minute break as well as lunch? or maybe could split your lunch up? that im sure would be great for you to see him more. see if you can make it work. babies are little for such a short time, and its our job as parents to sacrifice ourselves that first year when they are so helpless. will it be harder, yes, but it will also be worth. im assuming you are at work nopw so im really hoping it went ok. hugs!
btw, i just started to cloth diaper about a month or so ago:)
Hi J., I'm sure little Max has his preference, can you blame him? I'm afraid he may feel your stress about needing him to take the bottle so you can return to work. These little ones are so connected to us (as they were for 9 months) Keep trying. I'll say a prayer for you. Grandma Mary (nursed 5)
Hi J.,
I would say never to offer the bottle yourself, and to try to have the same person offer the bottle. The fact is that your son can either accept the bottle now or when you are at work, it doesn't really matter. When you are at work, he will evenutally get the idea that if he wants to eat, he will need to have a bottle. It would be wrong to deny a baby food simply to get them to take a bottle.
I'd suggest when the bottle is offered, to make sure the caregiver warms the nipple as well as the bottle, and to smear a little EBM on the nipple so the baby immediately knows the smell and taste is familiar
My son's first day at daycare, he took one bottle of EBM, the 2nd day he took two, and the third day, he took three which was his normal intake.
Good luck
I have a 3 month old and we just started with a sitter a couple of times a week. She is able to give the bottle to my dd.
She cries at first but with fortitude and of course the pumped breast milk she will take it.
My husband was giving her the bottle off and on up until we started with the sitter, so she's aware. I think the smell of the breast milk helps. My husband said he'd try the bottle, she'd scream her head off. He'd try again in 5 minutes, she'd scream her head off, he'd try the pacifier, then slip the bottle in and on like that until she took it.
Good luck. Everyone has great suggestions, just thought I'd share our experience.
Letting your baby cry until he gets so hungry he'll take the bottle might work. But a lot of times it doesn't work. Maybe you should try the bottle that you can push the air out so he gets no gas and the nipple to be more to a natural one. When you are about to feed it to him, put some breast milk on the nipple, it might just work. Good luck.
My daughter did the same thing- took a bottle no problem, but then after a few weeks refused. I had to work her back up to it. I started by bait and switching- started her at the breast and then switched to the bottle. I made sure to give her a bottle at least once a day to keep her used to it. Maybe at first you can have the sitter bring baby to you, but eventually, you'll be able to get your son to take the bottle again. This too shall pass. Good luck!
I know this sounds cruel - but your friend may be right. They don't fuss/cry too long - and sometimes it's the only way to get them on the bottle. If you keep running back to feed him, then he most likely won't take the bottle - he will assume you will be there to feed him. It's also going to be really emotional for you to keep coming & going. I know it's so hard - I went through it too - and it only took a day for my baby to get on the bottle. We too practiced with the bottle and then she refused it before I started work. After the first week was over - she was a champ - bottle during day, back to breast in afternoon & evening. Good luck!
This never happened to me, but did to a few of my friends. The only way out was like your friend. Your baby is crying not because you're being cruel. He's crying because he's hungry, and is used to being fed a certain way, and he's telling you that is how he wants it. That is fine and well, but you've got to go back to work, so he's got to get used to it. If it were me, I'd start feeding him 1 feed a day (maybe the first one you'd miss and need him to take a bottle when you go back to work). That will set up predictability and routine for him. He'll come to expect that feed to be a bottle. Then you'll know he's used to it, then add on another bottle feed. He wont starve, he'll eventually give in. He's just telling you that stinky old bottle doesn't compare to mommy!
