Baby Wants to Use Me as a Pacifier at Night!

A WONDERFUL and EASY book to read is called The Secret's of the Baby Whisperer. (two erS at the end) by Tracy Hogg. It talks about how to get the baby to self sooth and sleep through the night. I am a doula and I recommend this book to EVERY new mom I have. I used this book for my last two kids and WHAT A DIFFERENCE!

H.~mother of three

Are you sure he wants a pacifier and he's not hungry? At 4 months they still need to eat at night, and if you are breastfeeding, the night feeding is ussually the last of the bf'dings to wean from. He's maybe rejecting the pacifier becasue he is hungry and it dones't have milk! =)I understand about you not wanting the baby to wake everyone. Is the baby in your room, or another room closer to the other children? YOu could have the baby in your room, or have amonitor handy so you can get up, feed/change/burp him and i'm sure he'd be ready for more sleep. good luck.

My grandaughter did the same thing. I have to disagree with giving cereal this early. Her pediatrician told my daughter to do that, and she developed severe allergies to both rice and oats and has been hospitalized several times for reactions...rice is in things that you wouldn't even think about, as rice flour. Have you tried a pacifier? I would also suggest that you pump milk and feed it to him in a bottle before bed which might fill him up a little more. Let him get hungry first so he will eat more at that time, and try to get him to use a pacifier. The Avent ones might work if you haven't tried them. The nipple is supposed to be similar to a breast nipple.

Story of my life! I am the baby's pacifier. (That's not entirely true. My older was over the paci at 8 months - but continued to nurse till about 20 months. My younger is 6 months at present and was never interested in the paci. I leave one with the sitter just in case, but I don't think he uses it there either.)

Babies need their mommas. Even after the sun goes down. Turns out that they can't tell time yet :) I vote that the baby get tucked in with you, if he isn't already. That way you can nurse without waking any one up. Even yourself! (I often discover that baby has latched on without any help from me.)

My story: He woke up 2 or 3 (or 4!) times a night for nursing/cuddles from the get-go. We were determined not to give him bad sleep habits, so I'd drag my butt out of the bed everytime and resettle him in his crib. We half-heartedly tried sleep training methods, but hearing him cry was going to turn all my hair gray. It was easier to just nurse him already than listen to him cry. We finally gave up at around 10 months. I work full time and was just too exhausted to keep getting up all night. So I...brought him to bed with us. I know, I know! It's the last thing you're supposed to do! But you know what? We slept sooooo much better that it was worth it. Turned out his issue was a nighttime separation anxiety thing. Which he grew out of all by himself eventually. I could nearly nurse him in my sleep if he woke up, so it became a non-issue. And, because we both work out of the home, it was really nice to be able to rebond with him at night. We ended up loving sleeping next to him. It broke my heart when he moved to his own bed (he's two now). But he sleeps through fine now and is too rowdy a sleeper (rolls around a lot) to keep in our bed with the new baby. Yeah, that's right. I got pregnant again, so clearly not interrupting my husband and I's married activities, despite what people say about co-sleeping... So I'd suggest putting him down like usual, and the first time he wakes up, after you guys have gone to bed, just tuck him in with you. That way you both get what you need at night. Sleep! Cause you got to do what works, even if it's unconventional.

hello L.....
I can totally relate to you... my daughter did the same thing. I have to say that I never found any way to really stop her either. I remember trying to sooth her by rubbing her back and saying mommy is here...and eventually that work to decrease her need to nurse. Around her first birthday I finally said enough is enough and spent a few sleepless nights with her fussing and not sleeping well before she just accepted that she wasn't going to get what she wanted. I really think some babies need to be that close to mommy......by the time she turned 2 she was finally in her own bed all night. even though she wasn't nursing she till had to be right beside me.....
My advice to you would be to have patience....your son won't nurse forever....promise.....and one day you may really miss his dependence on you......
sorry if this wasn't very helpful......good luck
T.

At 4 months it is fairly common for babies to still get up at night. But, if there is nothing wrong (like a leg caugh in the crib bars), they need to self-sooth back to sleep. Then they usually only sleep 8 hours during the night. By you continuing to stay with him, you are encouraging this behavior.
I would work with your family, say 2 or three mornings in a row which your husband doesn't work (so you can catch up on sleep those days) to break this habit.
After the last feeding, hold your son for a few minutes, maybe sing him a couple songs (limit it). Get him calm. Then calmly kiss him goodnight, tell him you love him and gently lay him in the crib. Then walk out the door and shut it. He will cry, but let him. It won't hurt him.
after 10 minutes if he is still hysterical (not just crying, but wailing) go in check on him. Don't pick him up, just sing to him. Then leave again. Then wait 20 minutes. And pat him on the back. After that, wait another 30minutes. IF he is still hysterical, then hold him just until he is calm. The put him back for the night. He will eventually cry himself to sleep. It won't hurt him and he won't think that you love him any less.

It's okay if he wakes up the household while you break this habit. Better to break the habit than to continue on this way! It will be a rough 2-3 nights, but after that, your whole family will sleep better, especially you.

We have done this with our son. It's a rough, rough road, but the end result is amazing!!!

You are a human pacifier! And well, it is a job I loved;) and miss now. But, here are a few suggestions. You can simply keep him close to you and nurse as necessary. You can be sure he is fully awake and nursing well. Keep him awake while he is nursing and he may sleep a little longer. Be sure you give him the opportunity to settle himself at some point. After nap time let him fuss for a few minutes and see if he settles himself.
Be sure you train your other kids and the baby take a nap every day after lunch. You need to take a nap too! It makes a huge difference. Since you do have other little ones I would suggest you find a family member, friend or high school student that would come over a couple of mornings or afternoons a week so you can get other things done at home.
Remember this is a very short time frame (really). It will pass. 4 months, he may be growing;)

My daughter was the same way for quite a while. I would consult your pediatrician to make sure that giving your son cereal is ok before trying that. My daughter needed more to sustain her through the night and cereal provided that for her. Most pediatricians don't recomend cereal before six months because of repercussions with allergies later in your babies life. If cereal doesn't work it might mean your son is trying to work you. It may take a few nights of just letting him cry it out to break him of the habit. I strongly urge you to consult your pediatrician to make sure that your son is getting what he needs from you before you try anything. Good luck!

K.

My baby did that too. She is now 4 years old but I feel your pain. I let her use me this way until she was six months old and eating solid food. Then I knew she wasn't hungry. It was hard but I would let her cry longer and longer until she started to sleep thru the night. It was best for both of us.

Hi there. My 5 month old little girl did this alot too. You didn't mention if you are giving him cereal yet, but if you aren't I would suggest that to fill him up right before bedtime. This might help. If not you may endup having to break him of the habit over a couple of nights. I understand the concern over waking up your other children but I would gues that after a night or two of pain, you'll then get to enjoy resting at night. Good luck!!

4 months old is still very young and new. She will get over it. My son did not take to a pacifier until her was about 8 months, so he fell asleep with a nipple hanging out of his mouth all the time. But once it was out I just held him firm against my body until I was sure he was out. Then I placed him in his crib, turned on the monitor and went back to being me.

Also try the "Happiest Baby on the Block" it comes as a DVD and as a book. My girl friend got the DVD and says she likes it better than the book. I got the book and it was great also. They give great tips on how to sooth baby and how to help baby get to sleep and stay asleep

God luck and God Bless,

When my son was first born it felt like all I did was nurse him, and it was very frustrating because he kept falling asleep during, so I was constantly worried that he wasn't getting enough to eat because he never stayed awake long enough to get a full meal! Turns out he just wanted something to suck on to help him get to sleep, and at first he hated pacifiers, so I started putting a little bit of sugar-water or frosting or fruit jelly on the end until he didn't mind taking it. I would also give him a bottle of formula right before bed, because formula takes longer to digest and he stayed full longer, and if he woke up at 4 or 5 in the morning I would nurse him and even give him some expressed milk in a bottle just to make sure he got enough. And that book "Secrets of a Baby Whisperer" helped too, but since this is your third child you might've already figured out a lot of the stuff that's in there. Best wishes!

What you said will probably be your only alternative-but the other kids will have to suffer for it a few days-unfortunaltey!

I have to recommend Dr. Harvey Karp's book The Happiest Baby on the Block. My two month old sleeps great with these techniques! He still gets up one time at night, but it's because he is hungry. He will breastfeed and then go right back to sleep. If you don't have time to read a book (sounds like you have your hands full) There is a DVD that just gives the basics. You can order it off Amazon.com.
As far as the cereal goes, I am a RN and giving cereal too early can cause food allergies. Don't do anything like that without talking to your pediatrician first!!
Good luck!
J.

Hey L.,
I am a mom of 4 (7yo to 3 months) & I have let each of my children use me as a pacifier. None of my children used a real pacifier. I know some women don't like to be a human pacifier for their babies, but it works for me. My children really only needed me for that at night time & I view it as a chance to spend more time with my baby, the time is fleeting. If your son wants to pacify on you during the day try sitting on the couch with the other children so they can feel apart of what is going on also. This is a great time for you to start teaching your older children about what it takes to be a parent & how much you love giving of yourself for your child. They won't fully understand right now, but they'll get a lot out of it. It's a family thing you are doing & everyone needs to understand that you have to help the baby right now & do the rest later.
When things get hard like this & very tiring you must remember that the Lord gave you these wonderful babies to further bless your life. Take the time to just snuggle with your son, soon enough he'll sleep on his own without you & you'll miss that special time. I hope you have a beautiful day & God bless.

Let baby sleep w/you and nurse lying down. That way you can still rest, and baby can have you! Nothing wrong with that! Could be a growth spurt at this time.No need to assume baby should sleep thru the night at this early age, in fact, they should not go that long without eating!

I tried to let my infants soothe themselves to sleep, always putting them to bed while they were still awake. Of course, they have to learn to do this and they do cry. We would let them cry for 5-10 min., then go and settle them down and step out again, adding 5 minutes or so to how long we let them cry each time. I have 3 children and once the babies were 2 months old, they all shared a room. I would let the other kids know that their brother or sister may cry a bit but they would go to sleep. The older child or children eventually would fall asleep even while the baby was still crying. They all still sleep well and rarely get woken by each other when they cry in the middle of the night. We would offer our babies the pacifier and swaddle them real snug, but they rarely kept a pacifier in their mouths. Eventually, they sucked thumbs or fingers. My husband and I never wanted to start the habit of the baby sleeping with us. I would nurse them for nighttime feedings lying in bed, but would put them in their beds after feeding them. Our doctors always said, once they are able to make it through the night (maybe sleeping from 11 - 5 a.m. or later -ours all did this by 2 months old), they should not need a feeding in the middle of the night. They may need comforted or have gas or another issue, but should be able to go until their first early morning feeding without being fed. They will often continue with the habit of waking to feed in the middle of the night, more out of habit because we feed them, than necessity.

A different perspective than others here, but hope it helps.