Baby Won't Let Anyone Else Feed Her

Have you tried leaving the house for many hours, so she has no choice if she's hungry? Like overnight if need be? Especially since at some point your work will require it.

My daughter did the same. Her ped advised just that. He explained that she might cry from being mad that I wasn't the one feeding her (and let me tell you, she could scream for hours, until she was hoarse,) but that an infant's survival mode would not let them starve. That her body would tell her when to eat. So I left ALL day until mid-evenings, to give it a chance. It worked, she seemed to know I wasn't around after awhile. It took a few times, he warned me it would. And I learned that if I needed to be home but have someone else feed her to not let her see me or hear me. But she got it, I returned to work when she was 12 weeks old. We were able to continue nursing in spite of breast milk bottle feeding.

Step away and allow her caregiver to deal with her. Enjoy the times you get to feed her. It will work out!

Have you tried having your husband and MIL keep a shirt that you've worn wrapped around her when they hold her during a feeding?

EDIT: Also, when you say that you leave, do you mean you leave the room? Because your baby has an incredibly sensitive sense of smell she can smell you the instant you walk in the house. If you're in another room or another part of the house she can smell you. If you don't leave the house for several hours, as in the better part of a full day for several days in a row, then you're not going to be able to train your daughter to allow other people to feed her. My SIL's first daughter did this and they dragged it out for a month because my SIL couldn't stay away for more than a couple of hours she missed the baby so much. There was plenty of pumped milk and my MIL and BIL were fully capable and willing and ready, but my SIL just couldn't stay away. The baby KNEW when she was in the house. When SIL finally figured out that she had to completely stay out of the house for "a full work day" for an entire week, that's when my niece started to take the bottle for other people and they never had issues after that.

Some tips - these are kind-of adapted from my breastfeeding experience, but maybe they will help here.

Don't have the person hold her just like you do when she eats. If you cuddle her in a cradle position to eat, then when she's in that position, she expects you to be there. When someone else is feeding her, try putting her in her bouncy seat to eat, or laying on the boppy pillow. O

Or, maybe she associates a bottle with you, but would take some milk from a sippy cup with soft spout (no valve at first so she can figure it out) from someone else.

I think you're going to have to decide to be the adult here and just leave and let her cry until she takes the bottle from someone else. Then they feed her each time, even when you're home and right there. As much as it is pleasing to hold your child and feed them, you're situation is different. She will make herself sick if you don't draw a line and take a stand.

I have not had that problem but maybe you not feeding her regardless of how much she refuses will help.

Welcome to motherhood.
It starts with feeding and escalates...
She is throwing temper tantrums.
You are going to have to realize that she will cry and it is ok. It might not be pleasant for her caretakers, but they will get through it.
If she gets hungry enough she will eat. She needs to learn that if she is hungry, other people will provide food - maybe not the same way as mom, but, food none the less.

I don't have any great advice, just wanted to say sorry that you're going through this! My son was always very high strung about eating. Sometimes, even though he was clearly hungry, he would scream instead of eating for hours. It was so frustrating, and it made me feel so guilty. I remember one day when he didn't eat from 10 in the morning till 7 at night, in spite of everything I tried. And that was just with me trying to feed him myself in the same exact way as always!
I guess my point is, some babies just have very specific ideas about what they want and how they want it. He always ate eventually and never starved. He's a happy, healthy four year old now, and he has always been particular about his food. He eats a wide variety of food, but ever since starting with finger foods he has had very specific ideas about which foods can touch each other, what temperature the food should be, and how stringy it should be. All that infant fussiness was just an early glimpse of his personality.
There are some cool benefits to it- he learned how to express himself very quickly and most of his first words were food related! The coolest was his fourth word, "hot," which he used to describe anything that was too cold, too warm, or not the right texture. My mom made the smash cake for his first birthday, and we all got a laugh out of warning her not to ruin the party by making it too "hot!"
Anyway, when you're feeling tortured by your little girl's screams, just think of how well she is expressing her preferences! Try to imagine her as a toddler telling you what she wants for lunch. Will she demand the rainbow plate at every meal? Will she request her bananas "monkey style" or "coin style" today? One secret to surviving motherhood is to make your face and voice appear sympathetic to your child, while forcing your mind (with its tendency to worry/feel guilty) to go to a happier place.