Back in the Day, Baby Showers

This is the only place I ever see anyone stating its not proper to have more than one baby shower. Ive always felt, and so do most of my friends, that every baby should be celebrated and its fun to have friends and family for a party and bring gifts. If I cant afford a big gift I dont buy a big gift. I dont feel guilty spending less than $10 on a pack of onesies, or a baby toy. I also feel wonderful when I have the chance to make a baby quilt, and can make one for a lot less than some spend on a gift that will be used a couple times and then be grown out of or set aside in a few months never to be used again. Baby clothes are great to hand down but what if the sibling is born in a different season, or a completely different size. Colors fade, fabric weakens and elastic stops stretching. Not every baby can use big brothers stuff. What I dont understand is why so many brides want a big party, big shower, big wedding, when they are going into their 2nd or 3rd marriage and have been living with the guy for a couple years.(and probably already have kids together) I wont buy a gift for that. But it never fails, their friends get caught up in the "romance" of a wedding and everyone is suddenly onboard. Id rather celebrate a new life instead of a rerun wedding.

I totally agree with you..very tacky to keep having showers. I think the reason behind showers has gotten convulated(?) over the years. The intention of a shower is to help a new mom get started with motherhood by helping her get things she will need. Somewhere along the way, its looked at as a way to "celebrate" the birth of a child. I am pregnant with my second child and have been very adamant that no baby showers will be happening as I am old school and this is tacky.

I'm with you on this O., J..

What bothers me even more is the underlying sentiment of "Whaaaaa...I can't buy all this stuff for myseeeeeelf....I can't use the piiiiiink sheeeeeets for a boooooooy.......so I neeeeed a shower!"

Seriously, I just feel that if you're having a baby, I think you should be able to provide the basics yourself!

J. - I certainly didn't think it was anyone's responsability to "furnish" my child...so to speak. See, I have FRIENDS that wanted to CELEBRATE my baby! How lucky for me! They didn't judge me, they didn't get snarky, and they were truly excited for us. Glad they are my friends.
And you know what?! I am excited when THEY have more kids! I celebrate their second, third, fourth kids. I get them cute outfits, butt cream, lotion, diapers....because I love them and want to celebrate that child.
You don't want to, you don't have to. Back in the day people did a lot of stuff that we don't do anymore, doesn't mean it's right.
L.

I am currently pregnant with my 3rd. I didnt want a shower, didnt plan on having one. Everyone in my family, and in law side has demanded I have one and are throwing one. Some people just believe each baby should be celebrated.

Things change over the years.

Well, I think a lot of it depends on your groups of friends. With my daughter my church threw a shower and then my work friends offered a shower (I said no, but they insisted) and then my family wanted to throw a shower as well. So there I sat with 3 different showers, none of which I asked for. It is rude to continue saying no when people offer. With my son (4 years later) I was just going to buy the clothes and stuff I needed since I kept everything from my daughter hardware wise and it was all gender neutral. We had infertility problems the 2nd time around and after 2 m/c it was a miracle I got pergnant and was able to carry my son to term. Therefore I had an aunt who INSISTED on throwing me a shower. At some point it just becomes rude to continue saying no. If you are "expecting" or asking for multiple showers then that may be out of line but if someone offers and just wants to celebrate with you then why not?!

I have a boy and a girl- 4 years apart. I had several showers with the first (very large families), and a small, family/close friends shower with the second. I never asked for a shower for my second. I did not expect a shower, or expect others to assume any kind of responsibility for providing for me or second baby. I am just one of those extremely lucky people to have other wonderful, giving people in their lives. So to answer your question: I guess this is where the heck it comes from- the hearts of loving and generous people.

I don't think anyone expects anoyone else to furnish them with these items. Some people just love to give parties and some people have alot of friends and family!

When I was pregnant with my daughter (who is about to be 17), she was a longed for child, after 3 miscarriages in a years time, and several testing episodes and surgeries. It was a short time frame to go thru so much in my early 20's. And we knew we just wanted one. The anticipation for a healthy full term baby was high for all of my friends and family. I had a friend give a large "friends" shower, and my godparents gave a lovely co-ed family and older friends shower for me.

My niece, who has more friends than anyone I know, had 5 baby showers. I am her closest family (and there are a lot of us family) and I simply didn't do one as there were too many. Her best friend did one (and invited all the family), his family did one for just them, her work people did one at work one afternoon, her former room mates and good pals (a gay couple of fellas) did a very fancy & rip roaring fun one, and her former co workers from a few years back (the "happy hour" gals!) met at their fave place and had a shower there for her over a nice dinner and drinks for them, and the non-alchy version for momma to be. She hardly had to buy a thing because she has and is a great friend and they all wanted to be a part of her finally setting down with a great guy and having a baby (it all happened really fast for her!)

So I thinks its unfair to say anyone "expects" such showers and gifts (altho similar to the "bridezillas" one sees on TV reality shows, I suppose they are out there in like fashion for baby stuff).

I've seen that lately when they want to have separate showers per side of the family (i.e., mom's side has her shower and dad's side of the family has another). Not sure why they do that. I'm assuming it's because the mom's side wants to pay for only her family and same thing with the dad's side. Luckily, I haven't seen the shower for each baby thing going on... yet!

I am fine w/ "Sprinkles".
Nothing wrong w/ celebrating a new baby! Or showers when there is a big gap for a unforeseen babe.

I had a friends shower and a family shower w/ my first-just made sense.

But I am w/ you on the 'huge, get me everything new' concept. I can't understand my friends who plan to have more babies and buy pink girl equipment...what happens when you have a boy? New $200 highchair?

We should call this Generation V for the lovely Veruca Salt. ;)
"Give it to me NOW!"

I think it's a generational thing. I'm in my 40's, I remember the old baby showers where everything was gender neutral and it was held in your mom's basement. No one registered for items, it was kind of a toss up as to what you'd get, the family would cook food, and an aunt would bake the cake. Now in this day and age of high tech, everything has to be specific to gender, theme decor, you have to register to get items, pick out invitations, pick out and order a cake to match, and of course, it has to be held in a nice place like a restaurant or banquet hall. I'm going to a shower in a few days. One of the ladies who is hosting the shower, told me that the invitations alone cost $300! It is an upscale baby shower in a fancy restaurant. I'm guessing whole affair is going to cost a pretty penny:) I guess everyone has more disposable income nowadays:)

It feels the same as weddings and birthday parties, everything has gotten so over the top!
And it's not necessarily the mom-to-be's fault, many times both family and coworkers want to throw a party and she doesn't want to say no.
Also I'm sure it has a lot to do with the "business" of baby gear. New moms feel like they need SO much stuff, which of course, they don't.

My generation is all about individuality and getting what they want. Research generation Y and you might understand us a bit better.

**The only reason why I will have a second shower is because I didn't really have one. It was more of a come and meet the baby (my friends are all starving students, so I wasn't expecting gifts) But I got a lot of donations from family friends (I last minute decided not to place my son for adoption), and since I was given such large amounts of kindness, that nearly everything was donated to me, I would help out other mom's that are in need. So I gave everything back to the community. Felt like it was a good kharmatic thing to do.

omg, J., I could not agree more!!! I have been preaching this forever, and people all look at me like I have three eyes when I say two and three baby showers are just plain tacky!!

I wish I could give you a bouquet of flowers for posting this. :)

And no, it's not a generational thing. I'm 28, and I am so with you.

I don't really see a problem with having a couple showers like, a church shower then a friends shower. That way, whoevers hosting doesn't have 100 guests to feed/ entertain. BUT I DO think it's rude to have showers for EVERY baby you have! I think you should have one for your first and maybe one for the first of the opposite sex but after that, no more! I know I can't afford to buy gifts for EVERY one of ALL my friends babies! I wish I could, and I try to make them soemthing special that's inexpensive, but it just gets to be a LOT! (The people I know have a lot of kids.... like me haha) I was forced into having a shower for my 4th baby, who was a girl, and I had already had 2 girls and didn't need anything so we just put a basket out and if people WANTED to they could drop money in to go towards a double stroller. I ended up gettings gifts also and I STILL feel bad about it. It was NOT my choice to have a shower but at some point you just can't argue it anymore.

I got invited to a baby/diaper shower for a mom whose having her 9th kid. She didn't have a babyshower for all 9, but her 2 daughters wanted to suprise her, so they threw a diaper shower. I didn't go, well I couldn't go because of work, but I haven't gotten her anything yet either. I don't know if I should. It is afterall, her 9th kid (her and her husband don't believe in birth control, obviously lol).

My closest friends had her 2nd child, in May. Her first daughter is almost 16, so they threw her a babyshower. I did attend that and got her a small gift, because shes my closest friend.

However, I don't agree with having a shower for each and every kid. It's kind of selfish. Why should the same people buy you things for every child just because you invite them?

The norm, and I don't care what generation it is, is to have one babyshower for the first baby. After that you should have things from the previous baby, whether is the right gender or not. It works and thats all that matters. And more then likely your parents and *CLOSE* friends or family will buy you things without inviting them to a shower. If you can't afford to buy things for a new baby, then obviously you shouldn't be having one lol. Sorry, that sounded a little rude., but it's what I think.

I'm in the 'younger' generation and I think it's dumb. I had a big baby shower, invited all my close family and friends (roughly 60-70 ppl) and I kept everything of my daughters when she was a baby, just incase I were to have another one. But quickly sold it or gave it away after I had my tubes tied and a hysterectomy.