My daughter will be starting her second year of Middle School (7th grade). Back to school night is already scheduled and falls on her Birthday. We are having her family/friend party/get together at our house on the weekend preceding her birthday but we usually do something special on the actual day too. I HATE to miss back to school night because it gives me a chance to meet her teachers and see how the year will play out and what is expected of her. She has two honors classes this year - Math & Language Arts and I'm especially anxious to meet these teachers. I haven't told my daughter yet, but I know she'll be disappointed if we don't spend the evening together as a family as we always do. I feel that teachers notice who doesn't show up and might take it as a sign that the parents aren't interested in what's going on in school. Help!~
This is important, and it's related to her education. She can handle a little disappointment. Go to the BTS night and either do something before school (maybe have a nice breakfast together), right after school or the night before or after her birthday.
So celebrate the night before or the night after. You are a tree you can bend. She is old enough to understand.
I'd not miss the BTS event. Have the family come home early from work and do an afternoon bday celebration with cake, food, etc. Then have her do her homework during the BTS event. Just flip/flop the day.
She is old enough to understand. Have her favorite thing for dinner, toss her a cupcake, and go to BTS. Make her go with you. You are still together and that's what matters.
My daughter has never had a birthday celebration on her day never mind in the same month. This year it was 3.5 months late due to circumstances beyond our control including summer camp, vacations, and the pool not being done on schedule. On her day we did her favorite dinner and then headed out to the school musical where she was playing in the pit and her brother had a lead part. I sent cupcakes the afternoon before... It is what it is.
LBC
Why can't you do something together and also do the school meetings. They usually only take about an hour, you still have to eat. I think you can do something together.
absolutely attend the school night....it sets the tone for the year!
take her out to dinner them to school event you will have alraedy celebrated on weekend
I'd go to back to school night and then out for dinner after. It wont take that long.
Why not bake a cake or something the day before, go to back to school night, and then have that cake (and maybe open a few presents) when you get home? Like you said, you can have the big celebration a different day.
I reality this is a "champange problem" and she needs to understand sometimes you need to be flexible.
MY birthday ALWAYS fell during finals and THAT sucked. THAT is a REAL problem--lol!
By 7th grade she should understand not every little thing falls in place perfectly. Just don't FORGET her birthday like Sam in "Sixteen Candles!" She'll end up in therapy for YEARS! *giggle*
Why can't you do both, just have dinner earlier or later?
Honestly things come up on our kids' birthdays all the time, it's not a bad thing to be flexible and move stuff around.
Sounds to me like you already are leaning towards celebrating her birthday over back to school. I would go to back to school and keep the celebration of her actual birthday more simple with possibly a cake when we get home after or something else on another day.
She is in 7th grade and probably around 12 years old. In 6 short years she will be 18 and legally an adult. What lessons do you want her to learn by example. It's not like her birthday won't be celebrated at all just at a different time and possibly a different way. There is no crime in that, she will adapt or you will see you have more work to do on her character and prioritizing.
I hope this helps.
I'd plan to attend the school event, which is important for her benefit and yours. She may be disappointed, but perhaps you can do something unique and special in the morning instead of at night (special breakfast or some sort if surprise...?).
Have an early in the evening celebration. Have a cake or go out for ice cream right after school. If you're married, I'd have one parent go to school and the other stay home, invite a friend over if she's really bummed, or have the home parent take her to a movie.
I hate Curriculum Nights, I really do. With one in the high school and one in the middle school, as usual I will be spending my anniversary at Curriculum Night.
I hate to miss these things too, but do keep in mind that these are not your conferences (you know that), they are basic info sessions and the teachers can email you all of the handout materials and you can likely set up a phone conference in the event that you miss curriculum night.
I do not see a problem here. She is in middle school not 5 or 6 or 7 yrs old.
Do her birthday the day after or the day before. I think she is old enough to
get it. I do not see a problem here at all.
I just had this conversation with my son last week. My grandson (his son) had open house on the opening night of bowling and son was going to go to that. I told him that he had his priorities mixed up and that going to the opening house took precedent. I explained that it told his son that he was important and that you can go bowling any old time (his birth mom was not going to attend the open house never does). He said that he did go to the open house that night when I talked with him over the weekend.
It's nice to have a birthday celebration but there are going to be times that it is not going to work out and that is part of life. So once in a while a little change will do good to help them become flexible adults. Besides it's not like you aren't doing anything for her you are having a party early.
Enjoy the open house and meet the teachers.
The other S.
Email the teachers explaining your circumstances and ask if they'd be willing to meet at another time. As a teacher I would view this as a very involved mom who wants to spend time with her family on a special day. Your daughter needs you, so go be with her.
