Baptism and Godparents

What you've decided makes perfect sense. it is a personal decision. Your friend should understand that you've chosen your sister. If she doesn't I think she is being unreasonable.

ok first of all I think most people favor family, so i cannot imagine your friend being made at you for choosing your sister. It seems right friends come and go but family is family no matter what. I have 3 kids my 1st has My hubby's sister and My broither as god parents
My 2nd has my other brother and a friend of mine
My 3rd has both of my brothers and my neighbor/best friend
ok My SIL we do not see or talk to due to other family dinamics
My friend we have not spoken in 2 years (she workd nights I work days hard to get togehter) seems we are growing apart
My neighbor/best friend is acting god parent for all 3.

Each family has different dinamics that work and do not work. Only you can say what is best, but I have never been a god parent to any of my friends kids they all go with family.

My husband and I had each of our 3 kids baptized. We selected our best friends (at that time) who happened to be married as the godparents. Since then (12 years ago), we have moved out of state and only keep up with each other thru facebook. For our other 2 children, we selected our sisters and brothers as the godparents. This makes so much for sense for me because your family is always your family. Go with your sister, blood is thicker than water. Just sit down and be very frank with her about your decision. And if you friend is really your true friend, she will understand and be happy for you. Good luck! :)

What does being a Godparent mean to you? I ask because the true meaning is someone that help to raise the child in the ways of the church/teach about God (whatever their religion); however, many people use the word "Godparent" to mean the person who they want to be their child's guardian if something were to happen to them. The latter is really not necessarily a Godparent but rather the named legal guardian in their estate planning and needs to be legally not just in the Baptism services.

There is nothing saying there can't be two Godmothers. My son has two Godfathers (although they were picked for the non-traditional meaning and nothing was ever done legally...we were young and our family used the term interchangably).

One thought is that if you would want your sister to be the godmother due to religious beliefs, she could be but your friends could be the named legal guardians in the legal paperwork. Another is they could both be godmothers.

Perhaps this is too black and white but: Who is in your will to raise your children should anything happen to both of you?

To me, those are the godparents.

You may want to talk to the friend and explain that you feel obligated to have your sister be the Godmother. I would choose another family member to be the Godfather. That way it doesn't split up the couple. OR, you may ask if you can have 3 witnesses!

For my oldest, we had my oldest brother as the Godfather (I am the Godmother for both of his girls) and my husband's sister as the Godmother.
I didn't want to choose my brother's wife because she is not very religious and frankly we don't get along very well. I also wanted my husband's family to feel included, as they are of a different faith.

For my youngest, we had my middle brother and his wife as the Godfather and Godmother. I am very close with both of them, but they were living in another state when I had my first child. They had moved back by the time I had my 2nd.

All three can be godparents! Ask your sister AND your friends.

This is NOT the time to snub a family member!

Although I understand that you want your sister to be part of the equation, I have to say that I do think it's odd and kind of hurtful that you would choose your sister and then pair her with a close friend that is only one half of a couple. If I were the wife of the husband, I would be hurt. I think that you should choose your sister either on her own, as in with no Godfather to pair, or match her with another single male friend or relative. I get that your church really isn't traditional about it but if you're going to go to the effort to carefully choose out role models and call them Godparents then I do think you have a small obligation to consider people's feelings. You are not wrong to want your sister, but just consider how this looks and feels to all parties involved...that's just my opinion. Whatever you choose, it sounds like your child will have 3 people who really care about her and will be strong influences in her life.

Why can't you have your friends, as a couple, and your sister be the Godparents? No rule states you can only have 1 Godmother.
My sister chose her best friend and bf's husband and our brother to be the Godparents for her youngest son. It has turned out to be a fabulous decision. All 3 stood up at the baptism.

I agree I think you should have all three, 2 Godmothers are better than 1. I don't think there is anything wrong with that!

I think that anybody should be able to understand your wanting to have a close family member involved. Just tell her that you love her and that if it wasn't your sister it would surely be her. And tell her if you do have another she will be it. Stick to your guns though-it definitely should be your sis-esp since she is religious.

I would go with your sister, as the role of a god parent is (traditionally) to help the parents raise the child in the Christian faith. If your sister is active in your faith, then she would be the most appropriate choice. I would also be wary of choosing friends over family. I know it sounds strange, but when/if the "chips fall", family is usually in the picture for the long-run.

Don't feel terrible. If this woman is truly a dear friend, she would understand your wish to have your sister as the godmother and not be offended. You aren't their children's godparents and you weren't offended, right? So go with your sister and the friend as the god parents and enjoy the whole experience!

When my older 3 children were baptised we had family be god parents. When the youngest was born 5 years later we had the husband from one set of friends and the wife of the other set of friends. So youngest son has basically 2 sets of godparents. The older 3 pretty much have had no interaction with the family godparents except for birthdays and christmas they get cards. the younger son because his god parents are close friends has a much more close relationship. It is not a big issue to have 2 sets of godparents. just tell your girlfriend you want this child to have as many people who love her as possible. That you can't hurt your sister by not having her as godmother but that you would love your daughter to have a godfather and another godmother.

How would you advise your daughter later on to make an important, spiritual decision? (Never on someone's feelings being hurt...)

Who do you think will be there to guide your daughter spiritually if something were to happen to you? Maybe the two you have chosen. Maybe no godfather but two godmothers? Maybe all three. My husband and I are godparents to several children and for some, we are the only ones and for the others, we are joint with another couple. We pray daily for our godchildren, send faith-building gifts and encourage them in their faith in a variety of ways. It is a huge spiritual responsibility.

We only chose people to be our kids' godparents that were going to view the role as a daily responsibility for life. I wouldn't base my decision on your church's view of godparenting but on what you see as the role of a godparent for your child. Look at each person and ask yourself if that person will fit that role.

Although this is a church thing and not a legal document, I wouldn't choose godparents unless it's someone that I would want to raise my child in the even that my husband and I died. Traditionally that's what a godparent is and it's very important that every family has someone like this to rely on in this manner. I don't have godparents at all for my children, but I do believe it is very important.

Why can't you just have all three? I don't see any reason why you can't. This is a religious ceremony... not a legal document. Just include all three and spell out your wishes, in the event something were to happen to you, in your will.

Do what you think is right! We were in the same situation as you and just couldn't choose two so our kids each have 3 godparents. There are no rules that say she can only have 2 godparents. Follow your heart.

Make sure the legal guardians are named in a will so there is no problem should you both need one. We became close friends with a couple who would most raise our child as theirs and the way we want it. Our families are dysfunctional(abusive, mental illness, immoral). We call them the godparents though they were not at the ceremony, but everyone knows they will be her parents should we pass. The court documents and the supporting reasoning and evidence(as to why not relatives) is in a fireproof file at their house with the will.
P.S. Girlfriends don't count as family and should not expect to be treated as such. This includes family portraits and most importantly naming guardians and godparents.

I understand that most churches, even Catholic ones, dont push the issues of godparents anymore BUT the only thing I would suggest, is someone that is family and is involved with her already. Friends (event though close now) come and go. That is my only and strongest opinion about godparents and I share that with all my friends. I see it way to often that people dont get that special attention or affection from godparents that are far in distance or attachment. You could also ask the couple & your sister to sponsor her. My brother asked my sister and her fiance (they married shortly after) and his best friend to baptize his son, and the both men were honored and love him to death!