Bathroom Problems

Hi M., Sometimes kids use "anal retention" as a form of control in their lives. He may have some issues with things going on in school or home. Take him to a therapist that specializes in children. Also have the pediatrician look him over. I have a neice who went through this and with therapy she worked it out. Stop the laxatives etc, this only contributes to the power struggle. This is how he sees it, You want it out and he won't comply because he has the power. Good luck and I hope you can resolve this soon.

Nana

Hi M.:

It sounds like your son has a condition called encoprisis, which is not uncommon in children. I would either take him to a GI specialist, or seek a second opinion about how to treat this because there are medications that can help. Also, because encoprisis can be associated with anxiety-children can also often benefit from talk therapy. My sisters son had it for years, and at 11 years old, had finally gotten past it. Good luck! Hope this helps.

I feel like I might be handing out this advice alot lately, but I really think you should try a chiropractor, as well as other things. My neice had such bad problems with this, and she started having regular chiro treatments, and it has been a god sent!! Good luck ~A.~

Hi M.,
Wow, you have given him an enema? my son had the same exact problem, most of the time I just didn't understand how someone could just not poop for so long. But after countless doctor visits they all said the same thing they said to you, he's fine, don't worry about it. So I didn't, and I still don't, he is 12 now and occassionally he has bowel problems, without going into to much detail, his poop is unusually large, I know gross. But other than the occassional toilet overflow, he is fine. I tried laxatives with him one or two times but it just didn't feel right, I never did an enema or used suppositories, I think one time he wanted to use a suppository because he really wanted to poop, but he didn't and he ended up going anyway. My advice to you would be listen to the doctor, the more pressure you put on your son to go to the bathroom, the more he won't. Just leave it alone and if he comes to you in pain because he hasn't pooped, give him some childrens pain reliever and explain to him that there is nothing else you can do. Also, another thing to consider is diet, what does he eat? does he get enough fiber? my son and I have gone the rounds on that one, he never eats veggies or fruit. I did discover early on though that he loves fruit juice and he will drink V-8 splash like its going out of style, he gets everything in one. Please write back if I can help anymore, and good luck.
J.

M.,
Boy do I sympathize with you! I also have a son who refused to poop and held it as long as he could even to the point of throwing up & fevers. He is now 14 and pretty regular but it took me forever to figure out why he did this. We went through the whole gamut of doctors, fiber foods, suppositories, enemas, etc. Here is what we use that helps the most: water keeps his stool soft so I make him drink a coffee cup of water each evening - try to get him to chug it because it seems to work best that way; Benefiber powder has really been a god-send - you can mix it with anything and there is no thickening, grit or taste - if my picky son didn't know it was there nobody can tell. Also Magic School Bus has a book out that explains how your body processes food and how if you don't get rid of the poop it will poison you. Reading that book to my son when he was your son's age was a real eye opener for him. My doctor also told us that this could either be a control issue or once when my son got too constipated it may have hurt so bad that he was scared to go. Hope all this helps and since I have been dealing with this issue since my son was 3 please don't hesitate to email me if you need more help. My email is ____@____.com.
M.

Hi M.,

I can help you with this. My friend went thru the same thing with her 6 1/2 year old and he's now going to the bathroom daily without constipation.

C.

I think the more you make an issue of it, the more he'll fight you on it. He's old enough to take care of his own business. Let go of it. Tell him you think he's smart enough to know how to take care of himself (and mean it when you say it). Show him where the Benefiber is and let him know how much to take if he needs it, keep prune juice in the pantry or fridge.

I think you may be right when you say he is "scared to go." My son at the age of 4 (younger than yours I know) had been totally potty trained for 2 full years, all of a sudden started having accidents with poop. We took him in to the doctor who could not find anything physically wrong, but thought that something "traumatic" may have happened in the bathroom while he was going poop. By "traumatic" he meant anything that would scare or upset or hurt my son. So of course I thought and thought...I got it. We had been camping about a week before this all had started and when my son went to sit on the "outhouse potty" a GIANT garden spider crawled out of the potty. Yep, that was traumatic. Anyway, from then on I tried to reassure my son that at home that would not happen and I made the bathroom as comfortable for him as possible. We put a small basket with kid books in it and a stool for him to put his feet on. This all seemed to really help. After about a week or two, he was regularly using the potty again. We have not had any problems since.

I would suggest that if you cannot think of why he does not want to use the potty, maybe have a talk with him and see if he will open up to you. Also let him know that everyone poops (there is even a really cute book called "everyone poops"). Perhaps you could put some small easy readers or joke books or something in the bathroom to help relax him. Also, perhaps a stool. I know it may sound funny, but it helps even me to be able to put my feet up just a bit. I would also keep telling him to go, and maybe insist that he be on the potty for a certain amount of time (hence the books). My daughter just did not want to sit still that long, so the books helped her too. Anyway, best of luck to you. Hope this helps.

The only thing I can think of is to take him to a therapist who specializes in this. I really don't know anything about these sorts of issues. My only experience is with a friend who told me that when she was a kid, about your son's age, she used to hold it too. It would get so bad sometimes that she was hospitalized. In her case, it had to do with control issues that she was having with her mother. Not to imply that it is the same for you, but maybe there is something going on with your son that isn't physical, but manifests itself in the constipation. Also, I think I hear somewhere once that if a person uses an enema too frequently, the body starts to rely on it for pooping.
Sounds like a difficult situation....best of luck.

At 9 years old, I would think he is too old to be like that. He needs help!

You've said you've discussed this with the doctor, but have they screened him for celiac disease or gluten intolerance? My youngest son was always constipated despite a good diet and adequate liquids. He was not diagnosed with celiac disesae until he as 8. But, after that, he was amazed that it no longer hurt to poop, as previously every BM was accompanied by severe intestinal cramping. To him, this (pain) was normal, but something he avoided as much as possible, thus likely making the constipation worse. This seems also to correlate with the incomplete elimination that you descibe your son as having. As a point of reference, this celiac disease is the most highly under-diagnosed genetic disorder at this point in time as recent research shows it is much more common than most doctors learned it was in medical school. I urge anyone with a child that has any GI issues whatsoever to get the appropriate testing done. Here's info on the tests:
http://www.dfwceliac.org/html/testing.html
You can do the Enterolab testing without going through a doctor.

The range of symptoms associated with celiac disease is extremely broad and goes beyond GI issues. Here's a basic overview: http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/celiac/inde...

I am so emphatic about this as my boys were 8 and almost 11 when they were diagnosed and suffered needlessly.

I didn't read the other responses, so someone may have already mentioned this to you. I read somewhere (parenting mag or online) that this is something that often happens, and it mostly happens with young boys. I would suggest a second opinion, and you may want to surf the net and see what you can find. This is something that I think is psychological, and I can't remember why it occurs more with boys. I sure wish I could remember what I read, but it was about a year ago that I read it. Good luck with this!

Does he take medication? A lot of meds cause constipation. My son (now 13) takes 2 fiber choice every morning with breakfast per our pediatrician. BUT he only like the mixed berry with extra calcium.

HI M. WELL THE BATHROOM PROBLEM IS NOT FUN I HAVE SIX CHILDREN AND YOU NAME IT THEY HAVE DONE IT THER ARE CERTAIN FOODS THAT THEY CAN EAT THAT WILL LET HIM GO BETTER YOGERT IS A FEALLY GOOD ONE AND THE OTHERS YOU CAN FIND A NUTRIONIST TO HELP YOU WITH THEM I CANT REMBER THEM RIGHT OFF HAND. GOOD LUCK T.