My son's area school is having a beauty pagent this Saturday. He decided he wanted to be in it. It is for all boys grades K-12. He loves his suit but mentioned that he really wanted to win. I can not figure out a way to tell him that it is not about being number 1 or winning it is about going and making freinds and showing everyone what a cure handsome boy you are, and that noone cares about the winning part. I have never put him in a pageant before and he wanted to do this all on his own. Did I make a mistake?
I think it would be good for him too! Sounds exciting! I think you should just tell him the way you explained it to us-it's not about winning. It's about having fun and doing things that you enjoy! If you are going in to win, where is the fun?
T., if it was his choice then let him participate. You continue to instill the right thought processes....we as humans are naturally competitive...sounds like for him it's the competition that was the draw...it's the same as playing baseball, football, soccer, etc....i had a coach tell me that my youngest son was the most competitive player he had seen in his 25 years of coaching....that's not a bad thing if it's channeled correctly...not toward having to be the winner all the time (they have to learn to lose gracefully as well) but it caused him to be a very driven adult (he's 21 now) it's almost like he competes with himself to become better. You have the ability to shape and mold that competitive spirit in the right way...just be sure what ever he's doing he's doing it because HE wants to not because you want him to. It's OK, try to enjoy it....R.
I don't think you made a mistake by doing that because we as parents have to encourage our children and support them in everything they want to do in life as llong as it is safe for them and has a positive outcome for their self-esteem. I have 3 children and they all like to win in everthing that they do and the gt upset if they don't but i am trying to teach them that you don't win everything, but you get an "a" for effort because you gave it your all and practice makes perfect. I think you did a good job by letting him participate in the pageant because at least he wants to do something positive with his time no matter how old he is. I say go for it and praise him for it no matter what the outcome of the pageant is. Let him know evenif he loses that he is still a winner in his heart and in yours because he at least tried and if he keepsit up he can gt into other pageants and he will get better with time and he will start to get the outcome that he wants in due time. Also remind him that this is only his first time and there are many more chances to come. Good luck!!!!
If it is something he wants to do I wouldn't see the harm... Of course he wants to win - wouldn't anyone hope to win if they participated? If he does thats wonderful, if not it will be a great way to learn that winning isn't everything - hopefully he'll have fun participating and make friends.
Yes, I do think you made a mistake. First of all I have never heard of a "Beauty Pagent" for boys. You don't want your son to think he is "beautiful" you want him to know that he is a handsome young man but, you also want him to know that a "real man" does not enter into beauty pagents. That is what he will one day become hopefully, a real man. You should teach him the values of what the bible teaches about being a man and no where does it teach of where any man was in a beauty pagent. Don't try to be his "friend" be his parent and the friendship will come later. He may be angry now but one day he will "thank you" for it. D. A
If it were me, this is one of the few things I would discourage my child from trying, no matter how much he wanted to. My ex-husband once wanted to enter my daughter in a children's beauty contest, and I absolutely refused. Even if she had wanted to, I would have said no.
Any competition that is based on how a person looks in comparison to other people is, IMO, not only a waste of time, but also teaches the wrong priorities. I'd much rather my child find an activity that allows her to develop a skill or talent (such as sports, dancing, or crafts) rather than just showing everyone how cute she is. There are lots of opportunities for friendly competition for him to learn how to compete fairly and win, as well as lose, gracefully.
But maybe that's just me.
Well, you said it very well to us. It's natural for your son to want to win. But you also have to tell him it's not about winning. It's about having a good time and getting to meet new poeple and have a new experience. It's not a bad thing to be competitive but he just needs your help to keep things in perspective.
Hi T.. I am a mom of 5. I have 4 boys and 1 girl. Their ages are 10, 8, 5, 2 and 6 mos. That being said, my 10 yr old son (who is actually very shy) decided he wanted to be in a pageant a last year. I was suprised but let him do it. He didn't win. But I before the pageant I just reminded him to smile and stand staight but to relax. He didn't win but the cool thing is, everyone whether you won or not, got a trophy. There was the King and future kings. But just let him know not everyone wins and that sometimes other kids may do better because they may have done pageants before. Hope this helps.
D.
I am appalled that ANY school in 2008 would have a BEAUTY PAGENT!!!!!! These events give children the impression that it is what is on the OUTSIDE that counts..............Bad message. I would not take my son to this event. It would probably be a more positive experience to take him to a book store and then to a park....or maybe take some canned goods to a "needy outlet." Good luck to you. It's not easy knowing what to do when the SCHOOLl is encouraging this experience.
I grew up in pageants and I loved every minute of it! I'm not sure how old your son is but explaining to him about winning and losing and that no matter what he's great because he tried should help. Every child experiences disappointment from time to time and you could use it as a teaching tool to help him handle it in a healthy manner. I think it will be an adorable experience! Good luck and God bless!
My son has been doing pageants since he was 14 months and he's now 3. I always tell him that we're just having fun. He enjoys seeing the other kids getting trophies just as much as he enjoys getting them. I wish I could help in the what happens if they lose but we've never had that happen so I'm not sure. Maybe just encourage him to be happy for the other kids.
My parents let me be in pagents when I was little. Around the time I turned 11, I asked my parents to let me be in them again. If you ask my mom, she will tell you that it was one of the best things that she did for me. I had little self confidence in myself. It actually gave me a boost of confidence!! I was always down on myself completely-- looks, self-esteem, making friends with others. It really helped me alot! I made new friends, became more outgoing, and whenever I doubted myself, I remembered that others thought alot of me so it must be true. I think that if he really wants to do it, you should support him at it. If you don't, he may wonder if there is a reason that you don't want him to. (Does she think that I don't look nice enough, speak intelligently enough, make friends, etc.) Support him at it, but remind him that not everyone can win. He should do it for fun and enjoy the new experience.
I do not think you made a mistake by letting him enter the pageant. But, winning is a natural desire. Let him try his best, help him to be his best, and if he does not win, reassure him that he did his best which makes him a winner anyway. Our daughter entered the pageant to represent out town and lost. She was so disappointed because she had never lost any competition she was involved in. But, it was good for her to learn that her best is for her, not for other people and that not everyone is going to think you are the best. She recovered in about two days and is doing fine. Some lessons are hard to learn but beneficial in the long run.
