Bedtime - Perryville,MD

I agree you are dealing with a tantrum situation and he has learned that if he works himself up enough to throw up you will step in and and won't have to go to bed.

Layer the sheets...waterproof liner, sheet, waterproof liner, sheet, maybe even 3 layers. When he throws up just go in matter of fact take off his pajamas, strip off the outer layer of sheets, clean him up a bit, but leave him in the crib. Repeat as needed, so he learns that throwing up is not a reason to leave his crib.

I had a girlfriend who would give in to any situation if her daughter threw up...so the child has learned to throw up on demand. And she gets her way every time. Doesn't want to go to bed she throws up, doesn't want to eat, she throws up...this friend dances on eggshells so her daughter will not throw up...it is painful to watch. The child is now 6 and runs the house...oh, and can come home from school anytime she gets bored, just throws up.

It is a tantrum...nip it in the bud now. HUGS to you!!

Tricky. My only suggestion that worked great with my son at this age (and still works well at 2.5 years) -- is to give him TWO CHOICES on almost everything. "You can rock with mom or go to your bed." So we'll rock a little bit if that's what he chooses. Then a few minutes later "You can go to bed with your toy or you can go to bed without your toy." I phrase it so that he has two choices (toy or no toy), yet the ultimate choice is something that I am choosing for him (going to bed).

We do this al the time:
"mom clean your ears or dad clean your ears"
"mom help you brush teeth or dad help you brush teeth"
"cry in your room or stop crying right now."
"eat all of your peas or all of your cucumber."

I hope this helps. I don't know what to say about the vomiting. Maybe cut down on his late-night meals/milk? That may or may not help. Worth a try. If he's having bedtime milk, it is perhaps easier for him to barf it up than if he had the milk an hour earlier.

He's tantrumming to prevent you from putting him to bed. Allowing the tantrums to run their full course is causing him to vomit and injure himself. CIO is for full, tired, satisfied kids who have had their bed time routine to cry when learning to sleep on their own so they learn to sooth themselves to sleep, not to be a battle of the wills or raging tantrum enabler which eventually wears people down because of vomitting and self injury. You have been very kind and patient, but it has made the problem worse. Does he throw tantrums at other times? Are they allowed/ignored?

You need to make sure he has had a full day of exercise, sun when possible, lots of healthy food, lots of love and attention, a good (but brief and efficient-everyone needs some rest at night) bedtime routine, and when you put him into bed, you need walk away confidently, and to discipline the tantrum immediately when it first begins with a "no fits" warning, and a consequence on the second warning if the crying starts to escalate. Allow him to cry for a moment or two, and then repeat if he spins it into an angry tantrum. He'll rebel and escalate at first since he's obviously very attached to keeping control at bed time, but you need to prevail for his own character and respect for you. You love him, but he needs to go to bed. That's it. Once he sees that deciding to continue the tantrum has a consequence EVERY time, he'll decide not to do it.

He seems used to not listening if he was able to get away with being silly on the couch and pushing back bed time once he succeeded in not going to his crib because he cried so hard he threw up. It's not too late, just take control.
Do not allow the hysterics to be totally self inflicted and long like this. Never let it escalate to vomiting. It is not CIO, it's tantrum central. He is old enough to understand discipline just as he is old enough to be manipulating you with fits about bed time. Be sure not to allow the fits in the daytime for anything either. The overall consistency will make it work faster once he understands this is totally not ever allowed. He sounds like a strong willed one -or he is just managing to push his boundaries pretty far without effective resistance.
Be sure dad takes center stage on this discipline when he's home, or at the very least always backs you up. It will work best coming from him. Dad needs to be tough.
He's almost 2, discipline now is key for peaceful 3's 4;'s, 5's and 6's and beyond. Taking the hard line up front with our 3 at bedtime has made our nights super sweet. I wouldn't trade it, and they all love going to bed on their own. You can do it!

What type of CIO method are you using? Are you going in every 10 minutes to soothe him?
I know what you're trying to accomplish, but I don't think I'd let him cry to the point of vomiting and getting so worked up that he runs and slams into the crib enough to cause bruises...

May be it is time to put him in a big boy bed. He may not like the crib anymore. Ask him if he is ready for one. He is sleeping on the couch without a problem. Is he getting any teeth?If he is give him some hylands teething tablets and some childrens tylenol. May be do a nice warm bath before he goes to bed to calm him down. I know it is upsetting that he is getting himself that he gets himself sick and he is bruising himself. Good luck

Your son sounds so much like my first son at that age! Being the only child at the time we had all the time in the world at bedtime so we would just rock him to sleep and when he was asleep put him in his crib. Well, around 19 months he started waking up when we put him in the crib. So, like you, I tried CIO. It worked initially but it was like he was too old and suddenly decided he wasn't going to sleep on his own. We would repeat CIO, it would work initially and then suddenly revert back. I was at my wits end because we just had newborn twins and my husband worked long hours. I had to find a solution! So, as a last resort we got him the big boy bed (just the mattress and box spring to begin in case he fell out) and I would lay with him in bed at bedtime. If we timed it right and did the complete bedtime routine (bath then show then book then sleep) he was usually out within 10 minutes. A few months past his 2nd bday I was laying with him one night and had to leave the room to help one of his brothers. I said to him "I have to go help your brother. You lay here and try to go to sleep and I'll be back in a minute." When I came back 5 minutes later he was asleep and has gone to sleep on his own ever since. Good luck - I hope you can figure this out!!

Does he nap????

Over tired babies/kids... do not sleep well... and it actually makes it harder for them to sleep and to fall asleep and to stay sleeping.

Is he hungry???

Is he teething???

Has he hit any new milestones lately or new cognitive and/or motor skills????

All of these things... .tweaks a child's sleep. And, sometimes all of these things, happens to them at the same time. Not easy... growing pains.

Since he is getting so hurt and bruised up and angry in the crib... don't make him cry in there. He's getting hurt. This won't accomplish anything.

All the best,
Susan

I understand that it can be difficult to get a young child to go to bed. We had many problems with getting our young daughter to settle down and go to sleep. However, I can't believe that letting a child get so upset he throws up, and injures himself and is covered in bruises, is the answer. There are gentler ways to get a child to sleep. Check out "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.

I don't have any sounds advice to give since I have the same issues and no solution. I do want you to know I feel your pain since my son is known to cry until he vomits...he can vomit after only 2 minutes of crying if he is supset enough to gag. Just be careful your son doesn't throw himself out of his crib. After my son did this twice we did start giving in to him just for his own safety.

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Good luck.
D.

I have had the crying until they throw up thing happen occasionally with my kids. If there is no favorite toy or blankie that has to be washed it may help to layer a waterproof mattress pad and sheet with another set of the same or even 2 over it. Then you can pull off one sheet and mattress pad to wash and get the kid back in bed faster.

We are also having to readjust my 20 month old's bedtime routine right now too (she used to fall asleep on her own and has been giving us trouble recently). My older one is 4.5 and we ended up having to just sit in his room until he is asleep or nearly there. I don't love it because it takes a while but it does work. It may work for you to put him in the crib and stay in the room until he settles down . It may take a while the first few nights. If he gets up, cries, etc. Put him back down and say it is time to lie down and sleep or something similar. It can be time consuming and some nights I fell asleep before the child (or got bored and read a book by book light).

I also like the post about giving him limited choices. That and a consistent routine may help as well. Good luck. You are definitely not the only one with bedtime battles!

When my daughter was that age, she would just throw herself down in a fit, usually slaming her head into the side of the crib. I also hated it at the time so I would play soft music and rock her until she fell asleep. I did that for a couple months until I got too tired out.

I was never a routine person and never felt it would really work, until I tried it. Once I started a routine, everything got soo much better and this problem went away. My daughter has a tendency to want to jump and play and get worked up before bed, but now we focus on trying to wind down - warm bath, low lights, soft music, brush teeth, bedtime story or two. It also helps if I let her keep a book to read to her stuffed animals as I leave the room. Or sometimes I will let her choose a safe toy to take to bed with her.

My daughter's 2 1/2 now. Almost 2 months ago she went through a fear period where she was afraid of monsters so we would go around the room and check for monsters and dad would scare the monsters away. That lasted a couple weeks, but now she's mostly over it.

We did have some issues again a few weeks ago when she got sick. We let her sleep in our bed. She's been real good staying in the center. But then we had issues getting her to sleep in her crib again. So for now we've been letting her fall asleep in our bed then moving her to her crib after she falls asleep. Eventually we will have to put an end to it, but for now, I can live with it.