Bedtime Hell with 4 Tots

Carrie S.'s answer was totally uncalled for! Moms post questions looking for help and advice. Carrie S. was just judgemental and critical. She did not help J. O's situation at all. If you are not going to be HELPFUL and SUPPORTIVE to other's questions, you do not belong on this site!!!

I also agree with Karen C.'s schedule - that is a great plan. The only thing I would add is that if they are truly hungry, try adding carnation instant breakfast mix (mine like vanilla) to their sippy cup of milk while you are reading them a book.

If dad is already helping, I apologize but there is little to no mention of his role in this fiasco.

Why in God's name isn't Dad tag-teaming the children and helping you divide and conquer?

Why did YOU have to run from the computer? It sounds like this is your only downtime or at least you did the lion's share of the bedtime work. How come he can't go up there and settle them down? Please don't say it is because they won't settle down for him. They won't *now* because they're used to relying on you. Get him involved. He helped you make these 4 kids, he can help you raise them too!

Get his butt upstairs to help you. End of story!

You're only nursing one child. Why can't he help herd the other three?

I am really sorry you are struggling and I'm glad you're looking for help and ways to make your evenings easier.

Your husband needs to be actively involved in bedtime, since it sounds like you need the extra pair of hands. A few thoughts:

Give them a big, healthy dinner and don't give them an extra snack afterwards. They shouldn't need such a big snack as part of their bedtime routine. Maybe just a glass of milk if you want them to have something. My son is 3.5 and all he gets after dinner is a cup of milk at bedtime.

If you want bedtime to be 8:00, here is a suggestion for how to make the evening run:

5:30 or 6:00 - dinner as a family
6:30 - nurse the newborn so she isn't hungry when you need to put the others to bed
7:00 - bathtime for the baby and the preschoolers - all three in the tub together - limit bath to 15-20 minutes total. mom does the bath while dad watches the newborn
7:20 - dad takes the baby, puts in pjs, and takes downstairs - watches baby and newborn
7:20 - mom puts preschoolers in their pjs
7:30 - mom reads two books to the preschoolers together (each kid can choose one book) They can have a cup of milk during this time if needed
7:45 - mom brushes preschoolers' teeth and makes sure each one uses the bathroom - you can do this one at a time and have them wait in their rooms when it isn't their turn.
8:00 - mom tucks preschoolers into bed and goes downstairs to the baby and newborn. Dad goes up and gives preschoolers each a quick kiss.
9:00 - dad read books to the baby, brushes teeth, and puts him to bed at 9:30.

You and your husband can alternate who is in charge of what on any given night, but you need to have a set routine and schedule. Have consequences for your kids if they don't cooperate (such as one less book)

Another thought - you may need to change your one year old's naptime so that he isn't going to bed so late. If he naps earlier in the day, or for a shorter amount of time, you may be able to put him down at 8:00 with the preschoolers.

A good friend of mine has children who are 2, 4, 5 and 6. It is very hectic in her house, but she manages to get them all to bed - with a story - at a reasonable hour. Her husband helps a lot.

Good luck to you!

Um.... so I do NOT see anywhere in your post.... that your HUSBAND helps.
Is he just invisible there? Besides just saying goodnight to them?
DOES he actually help?
That would solve a lot of this.
HE is a parent too.... and made those babies/children.

It should not be only you.... doing this.
TELL your Husband.... to be more involved.... at least with the 2 preschoolers. Its a must....

I am SURE... he hears all the ruckus and the amok behavior you go through each time putting them to bed. Unless he wears ear-plugs and just stays out of sight... to avoid all of this.

BUT... he MUST help AND be INVOLVED.... in getting the kids bathed, fed, and put to bed.... each night. You have 4 kids. He HAS to help.
Gee.
I would have him step up.
There is only 1 of you and FOUR kids.
Husband... HAS TO help.

I'm exhausted from just reading this.

The 1 year old goes to bed at 7 pm - the older 2 kids can stay downstairs with Dad, and if they won't, then Dad has to step it up and MAKE THEM. Get a gate for the bottom the stairs, if you don't have one already. If they start screaming, Dad puts them in time-out or whatever discipline tactic is necessary. There's no need to all this screaming and yelling on their part.

The 2 preschoolers can start their routine at 7:30 and again, Dad can help out with this more. If there is any yelling from them, they go to bed IMMEDIATELY and miss out on bedtime stories. If they continue to yell from their rooms, ignore them. What are they yelling for anyway? Tell them it's time for bed and that's it. There's also no reason for them to be eating 3 bowls of cereal - if they have a decent amount of dinner, 1 bowl should be enough. My DD will ask for stuff to eat and more stories to read just to stay up later - I have to set limits and tell her NO, 1 snack and 2 stories and we are done!

And if your newborn needs to be nursed, let Dad take over upstairs. Seriously, Dad needs to get more on board here. And you need to start setting firmer limits and sticking to them. And Dad needs to back you up. Judging from your other posts, maybe you need to have Super Nanny come to your house.

I'm going to have 4 ages 4 and under in a few short months, so know that you're not alone! I have all boys - 4.5, 3, and 16 months, and am 30 wks. pregnant with No. 4.

This is what works for me, and I'm hoping you can pick and choose out of here what might work for you. Obviously with a new baby, things are bound to come up and flexibility is key.

-Make bedtime a priority. I have worked very hard at reserving the evenings for "me time" ~ meaning I do very little to nothing after my kids are in bed but involve myself in a good book, go online, watch a TV show or a movie, and/or spend time with my husband. It's not perfect, and it's a LOT of work to get there, but well worth it for my sanity. I have a LOT of help from my husband - I would not be able to survive this busy time with our young ones without him! (of course there are evenings when I'm doing this solo too, or vice versa...depeding on our schedules -- that's a lot harder, but still doable)

-I start our routine right after dinner (dinner is between 5 & 5:30 PM, bedtime is no later than 8 PM for the bigger two, between 7-7:30 for the 1 year old) - the kids get playtime with Daddy, and I do the dinner dishes and cleanup. I involve the kids in this as much as possible - they clear their own places, push in their chairs, help me get everything else off the table. Baths or more playtime for another hour or so, depending on the night.
-Routine. Lotion, pjs, brushing teeth (they also do their own teeth, I do a final sweep of their mouth at the end), books (they "read" on their own a bit if I'm with the baby - the key is quiet/wind down time), and bed. We don't usually do snacks before betime at our house -- it takes up too much time, it actually makes them wake hungrier, and they just ate dinner! Plus, it makes them realize that dinner is IT. I've sent my middle son to bed hungry a time or two, and he realized that eating dinner is better than nothing!
-White noise. We have large air purifiers (from Holmes website) in each bedroom, and a couple of small box fans that we run pointed at the wall in the hallway between rooms. Lifesaver for not waking siblings up!
-Child proof locks. I close my kids' bedroom doors at night (always have) and have a child proof lock on the inside of my 4.5 and 3 year olds' room. We live on a busy street, and they know how to open the outside doors, and it's a safety issue to me. I'll admit too that I also don't want eyeballs staring at me at 3 in the morning!
-Babycarrier. Check out www.heavenlyhold.com and/or www.frogmama.com --- babywearing is the BEST, and it sounds like your newbie and you would benefit from some hands-free, soothing time while you're working with the older three. This might also learn to teach your newborn to drown out the older three's noise (bonus!).
-SuperNanny. She has some GREAT tips and ideas for bedtime routines and keeping your sanity!!
-The Rule of 3 Nights. If you're looking to change something at your house, keep in mind this rule. The first night is most likely going to be pure hell, the second will be a bit better, but you'll still want to throw the towel in, and the third night -- something clicks and the new routine will now be "the norm". The key is sticking to your guns, staying consistent, and a lot of hard work from your end! But it's SO worth the payoff of the end result that you're looking for. We've done this when transitioning to toddler beds, moving bedrooms around, or any other kind of change that disrupts our "routine".

I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself at this very moment to make a lot of huge changes, given it sounds like you are often flying solo with the bedtime routine and you have a new baby! But set some goals over the next 6 months or so --- how do you want bedtime to go? And set yourself up to achieve that "ideal evening" at some point in the future.
Until then, it's okay to let some things slide, and it's okay to ask for help. I would highly recommend both!

Hope you find what works best for your whole family, Mama!

I don't allow snacks after dinner. Otherwise they just ask for one thing after another to avoid going to sleep. They know they have to eat enough at dinner to fill them up. If they keep insisting they are hungry, I say they can have a banana. No choices, and they can eat it fast.

Why doesn't your husband come upstairs to put kids to sleep with you?? Or at least keep the baby entertained downstairs while you put the older kids to sleep? What you're describing sounds like a single mother and you're not.

You must be going crazy with the stress and lack of sleep. I hope things get better soon!

Seems like your toddler is the distraction. Maybe you should put him to bed first since he "runs around the preschoolers rooms" or leave him downstairs in the playpen, he will be okay for the 10-15 mintues it will take to brush your 2 preschoolers teeth and read them a quick book. Maybe they would go to bed easier if they had a rountine, and not a stressful bedtime. As for the newborn, leave her in the swing or bouncy chair. Your 2 preschoolers should not feel like they are put last behind their 2 younger siblings just because they are younger and more demanding. You should make bedtime a special bonding time, and it sounds pretty stressful and like a nightmare. Your husband needs to get off his butt and help you. These are his 4 children too, he should want to be a part of their bedtime routine, I can't believe he doesn't help, but he comes up after all the stress a chaos to tell them goodnight....

It sounds like time for an overhaul, and your husband needs to be included!

I can't tell you exactly what your bedtime routine should look like, but I'll just pitch in a few ideas. Perhaps they will work, or maybe someone else will have a better suggestion for you.

My first step would be to start bedtime much, much earlier. Say, 6:00 at the latest. Kids need plenty of sleep, and it sounds like they could be wound up/overtired, which makes them act more manic and harder to keep in bed. Especially if they are not getting a nap. Most of the preschool teachers I know recommend a 7pm bedtime at the latest.

Second, I think you might be getting hooked into some delaying tactics: "Mom I'm hungry/thirsty" is one we hear often. We are very clear with our son that dinnertime is dinnertime, and that's it for food for the evening. If your kids like a cereal snack before bed, make sure it's a more 'grown up' higher-fiber cereal that will fill them up instead of a sweetened kid cereal. Sugar/cane syrup (and any corn syrup or food colorings/additives) will also make them rev up, so it's another reason to avoid it. When you close the kitchen *there's no going back*, and you have to mean it. "You've had your snack, now it's time for bed." or "This is not a snack time. You had a time to eat. Go back to bed." Being consistent is hard sometimes, but you must be firm or you will have years of this arm-twisting. In short, they are getting up because you are accomodating this.

Third, talk to your husband about what he can do to help. Is there anything that you are doing that he *can't* do, like, say, nursing baby? Once you have established which jobs are "mom only", then Daddy needs to step in. Can he be brushing teeth, or helping with pjs, or reading a story to the ones who are waiting for a turn with you? (When I was a toddler group teacher, I had to work up plans like this with my coteachers for more attention-intensive activities like diaper changes or naptimes.) If you and your husband can come to the bedtime routine as a team, it will be better for everyone.

No More Screaming. Your preschoolers are old enough to understand using their quiet voices at night. As I said before, they sound overtired, so an early bedtime (especially at preschool age) is necessary. This said, I would also find one place in the house kids may go to scream. The basement? The pantry? Someplace that's not a punishment. This is so the children will have reference for later. "We save our screaming for the basement when it's playtime. This is a quiet time now." During the day, do they usually yell for you, and are you in the habit of coming to their call? This is something to consider. I had a preschooler a while back in my group who, when he started, would just sit in one place and literally scream across the room at me, and after a week of this, it occured to me "Oh, this is what works for him at home!" I put the kibosh on this very quickly by firmly telling him that "if you want to speak with me, you will come over to me. Screaming does not work." After this, I simply ignored his screaming my name, and when he did come over to me, I addressed him as if nothing had ever happened, giving the negative behavior no attention at all. This habit of his changed remarkably quickly.

As I said before, I know there are other facets to making bedtime more pleasurable/less hellish. I don't have any perfect formulas, because every family's needs are different, but from what you were describing, these areas might be good places to start problem-solving around.

Best of luck-- kid can be so tough on us!

H.

Give them a snack of whatever you decide is filling enough and make a rule of no seconds. Kitchen is closed till breakfast. There is nothing wrong with that, they should be full from dinner. Nurse the baby, then get all of their stuff, jammies, pull-ups, and then bring all that into the bathroom. Then you can bath all the kids at once and pull them out one by one while hubby dresses them and brushes teeth. I brush teeth in the bath tub if I am by myself and have them spit in a cup, but my hubby usually helps. The new baby would be in the bathroom in a vibrating chair or right outside the door. Then you can all get into one bed or which ever room, the couch, and you can read them a couple of stories all at once. I give warnings like these are the books we are reading tonight, and this is our last book and then its time for bed. Then its time to go to bed a quick hug and kiss and lights out. If my kids start getting a little too playful at night I remind them its night time and we are settling down. You can also explain to the kids that after the door closes, mommy will see you in the morning and make daddy go check on them, they might be less likely to call out. My kids know I cater to them more than daddy so I guess when they see its dad that comes in the room, they must think 'Ugh never mind.' This has been the best way I can figure out how to do this for my family but I guess I'll see when our new little one comes in a few months. And it can be stressful for us too. Also there can be consequences for yelling out, like missing a favorite show the next day. My son is three and knows not to do this, although he knows we are here and if he needs something we will take care of it. Like a cuddle, but he has ice water that we put in his room and they get nothing else till breakfast. GL

No offense, but why are the kids eating so much just before bed?
They should have a good dinner. Perhaps something healthy like yogurt and granola for "dessert" and then the kitchen is closed. Period. I mean, are they really hungry or just trying to drag out bed time by saying they are knowing you will let them eat more?
As far as brushing teeth, let the preschoolers be in the bathroom at the same time. Let dad watch the other two while you brush and teach the older ones how to do it themselves. That will cut down on the door banging and you can get them both done at once.

It sounds like you just need to try a different routine. With 4 kids, it's hard, but I know someone with 5 kids and bed time is bed time. For all of them. There's no running around, there's no getting up to eat. The newborn is a little more tricky, but can also get used to the winding down in the evening.
You can get a grip on this situation by changing your tactics a bit so it goes more smoothely.
I wish you the best! You have your hands full!

ok you got alot going on but, now you need to be trying to get a better routine going. i know it could be hard getting daddy to help but first i would try talking to him and telling him your overwhemed and need his help with the two older kids at bedtime while you take care of the little ones. if this doesn't work then lets do this. it sounds like your kids are really fighting for mommys attention But you have to enforce some behavior and disencourage some behavior by letting them know that somethings are not ok. after they get one snack at night thats it, its time to get ready for bed. try putting the one yr old in a playpin or sitting her in front of a tv with her favorite show or movie and see if that gets or keeps her attention for awhile. if the baby like a swing try putting the baby down for a minute or have your husband watch these two while you get the oldest ones to bed. if this works then you may have sometime to spend with the older kids and go ahead and read to them, but once that is done its bedtime and they have to know that as long as they are feed and you know nothing is physcial wrong or hurting them let them fussy they will give up soon and just go to bed but if they know that when they fussy mommy will come back and pamper us they will try this everytime. now the little one and the baby my take aliitle more time and they need their own routine your little really don't understand she can't have mommy to herself so you will have to teach her how to share her time let her pretend help you with the baby..lol she might enjoy this and if you read to her too. i would maybe read to her and the baby. i really thing they all just what mommy's attention so they are carrying on to get it. keep in mind this is just and idea i came up with reading your question, but i would try this myself and if any of this helps you please let me know. good luck

Sounds like your kids have learned to push all of your buttons!

I would employ dad in all this, he doesn't get a choice, he has to help! Either he comes up and helps you, or he has to watch the other ones who are not going to bed and keep them with him.

Feeding your kids that late at night is a bad habit that if not broken early can lead to obesity. Its also hard on the digestive system!!!!

I know it makes you feel bad to hear them say they're hungry, DON'T. They KNOW it makes you feel bad, and that's EXACTLY why the say it. They should get 3 regular meals and regular times and nothing in between but water. When they're put to bed, they are not to be allowed to get up, unless they actually have to use the potty, and then its right back into bed. Try supernanny's techniques if you're having a hard time keeping them in their beds once its bed time. And seriously, lying in bed with your 1 year old until they fall asleep is not a great habit to form for them.

Our bedtimes are staggered because my daughters (4 and 16 months) share a room. The oldest is not allowed to disturb her younger sister while she's sleeping. She enjoys hanging out in the basement and getting alone time with daddy anyway. I know its hard with a newborn, we had ours sleeping in our closet until she was able to sleep through the night at 4 months old, and then we put them in together. But we decided it was worth our sanity to have peace and quiet in the house.

7pm is bedtime for the 16 month old and 7:30-8:00pm for the 4 year old.

Best wishes!

You've got a lot of great suggestions and schedules but I do want to chime in with a vote for dad to help you with some of the bedtime stuff...I have two kids and while they are old enough now for me to handle dinner/bath/bed by myself there was a while (esp with a nursing one) that having an extra pair of hands was the ONLY way to have a calm bedtime routine...so just in case you weren't convinced by everyone else's suggestions that dad needs to help, I am one more mom saying you need his help! Good Luck

J.,

You have gotten a lot of great suggestions from other parents. I'm just going to add a book that can help you to implement those suggestions without losing your mind. "Scream Free Parenting" by Hal Runkel.

His book is really worth the read. When you first change the bedtime routine your kids are going to react badly. Kids don't like change and any type of change is scary, so they react badly. It's your and your husband's job to remain calm and consistent through their temper tantrums, tears, and anger. They need calm parents to show them change can be good.

I hope you are able to find a bedtime routine that works for your family.

C. J.

You sound like one tired mama who needs a break and some help with 4 little ones. Sounds like you need to enlist daddy in helping.

First make a snack limit. They won't starve with only 1-2 bowls of cereal. Just make it the rule. Don't budge.

Have daddy hold the baby and newborn downstairs while you brush teeth on the older two and get them in jammies. Then send them down to daddy for a story while you get the baby ready for bed. Then put the older two to bed and take the baby and newborn downstairs until their bedtime.

Make a whispering rule. Once the bedtime routine starts. It might help with keeping things calm. Your preschoolers might really get a kick out of this.

Good luck.

Why are you giving the 1 so much food? I say as far as teeth brushing leave the door open. Can you fill some bottles with breast milk so your spouse can help out? Have their daddy help put them to bed. I have always needed my hubby to help me with my 4 and mine are now 14,12,9 and 7.. so i do know how you feel

How come your hubby doesn't help? He could be brushing their teeth while you get to put pull ups on and say goodnight to each one and then go in after you to say good night too. Sorry but I'd be peeved at the father who lets you suffer upstairs without helping.. how selfish. Tell him to get off his butt and start helping lol, moms shouldn't have to do all the dirty work. I like karen's schedule mostly, but I don't think they should all have to bathe together... I don't know its just odd to me, me and my brother had separate baths growing up but my mom didn't believe opposite genders should be in the tub together past 2 or 3yr old.

I got tired reading the post :P Good luck hun

Wow - it would be easier herding CATS!!!
For heavens sake, your husband needs to help! End of story...

Dinner needs to be served no later than 6:00pm.. then turn down the lights, turn off all of the TV's, no cell phones.. If baby needs to be fed, dad can pop the kids in the tub.. remember to try to have them talk and play quietly.. remind your husband.. the more they get riled up it will take twice as long to calm them down.. He should have them in a VERY warm tub using very strong strokes.

Pop all 3 kids in the tub.. as you or your husband finishes bathing each child, that child should brush their teeth with you or your husbands help. Then the next, then the 3rd.. One at a time.. A

s that child finishes brushing teeth, they should go to their room and start drying themselves off and dressing themselves for bed..

Then both of you make sure the kids are ready for bed... Kisses and then 1 parent reads, while the other straightens up the bathroom.. and takes over the baby.. No shenanigans during this time.. low lights, and slow reading.. Last kisses. lights out.. Baby gate at the top of the stairs and tell the kids to stay in there beds.. no yelling.. and no talking...

Do they have a baby monitor in their room? If not get one. Tell them you do not want to hear any talking..

I am sending you strength..

I wish I had a magic wand to give you. It sounds awful! I have to believe that if you and hubby work together, if he's willing, you can do a lot better than this! Your priority needs to be the nursing infant, obviously. Please sit down with him and look at all this and see what ideas he has. The older ones might be able to be brought in on a family conference after you & hubby have come up with some ideas. Their fighting during tooth-brushing is ridiculous. I had 4 kids close together & they were far from perfect but somehow it wasn't this bad. The locked doors are making things worse, it appears. You have to pull together as a family. It will take time. Perhaps hubby can handle most of this and you just pull out of it. Men can sometimes do these things better because the kids aren't used to them and won't pull as much stuff with them. Please don't settle for this chaos! I thought you were a single mom until you mentioned your hubby late in your letter. Please get him off the couch and actively handling bedtime and other things when he's home. Please!

Holy smokes! Sounds stressful for all of you accept hubby. Seems like he gets the easy end by being able to sit downstairs alone dealing with none of this.

I think the two of you need to sit down together and figure out a better solution. Clearly with for little ones you need an extra pair of hands.

I would deffinately start with letting your preschoolers brush their own teeth. You can get their toothbrushes ready for them and show them how to do it on their own. My kids have brushed their own teeth since they were 2 or 3 (supervised) and then at the end I would do a quick brushing for them myself to ensure the whole mouth was brushed. This helped free up a few minutes for me.

You may also want to cut out the late snack. Or at least limit them. Three bowls of even healthy cereal is giving them more energy to stay up and cause you more stress. This will obviously take some getting used to but you need to stand strong and follow through and make sure hubby backs you up. As preschoolers they should be old enough to understand rules, the won't like them but ultimately it will be better for them if you can get them down at a reasonable hour.

Your preschoolers can also get their own jammies and pull ups on as well. That way they will gain some independance and you will gain another few minutes.

If you are aiming for 8pm the your routine should begin at 6:30 or 7pm. This will give you more time to get everyone settled. Sounds early I know but if you start earlier you won't feel so rushed and 8pm will happen instead of 9pm.

I would also put the baby down at the same time as the other children. Let baby cry it out if need be while you read your preschoolers a story. Or put baby in the crib and you can sit on the floor with the older kids (infant too if need be) and read a story to everyone. Then they can all say goodnight to eachother and be in bed at the same time.

So, let me try to recap all that. 6:30 or 7 begin your routine. Small snack if need be, if baby gets a bottle before bed this is a good time to get that in. Then everyone upstairs for teethbrushing, supervise but let them do it on their own. Then allow the older kids to get their own jammies/pull ups on while you get baby jammied up. Then get everyone together for a story and put baby to bed at the same time as the preschoolers. BE STRONG. Letting a kid cry it out is not easy.

Set some new rules with your husband and ask him to pitch in and at least help you enforce the rules.

Good luck to you! I hope you can figure something out. Otherwise you will go crazy :o)

I just wanted to let you know that I totally feel your pain! I have five children ages 9, 8, 6, 6, and 3. I think I may have even written a similar post/question quite a while back. Honestly, I don't know if any one specific response actually really helped me but you can take some from each or a few and find what works for you from the other posters. I can't even really tell you what worked for us, as we're still workin on trying to get to bed better. My SO never really helped, except to get upset at the kids if they were being too loud. So I do all the bed time stuff myself, now he will help by yelling up the stairs for them to be quiet or get back to bed. But as far as the 'getting ready' part its pretty much a no go. Although he will watch our youngest while i get the rest of the school-age kids to bed, but I have to ask.
So, I don't know the reasons behind them getting snacks before bed, or why it doesn't sound like hubby is helping (I know mine wouldn't because he honestly is lazy, but has gotten much better), whatever your going through; I do know that you should try out different routines, find whatever works for you. Try to keep your calm as best as you can. And hopefully it will get better once they are of school-age. They will be able to understand routines a lot better when it comes from an authority figure other than mommy. If the two older ones are in preschool you could try using some techniques they use at school, charts to show what they are supposed to be doing, very colorful pictures, and refer to those if they decide to disobey, or to just help them along.
I'm sorry that you're going through this, I wish I had a magical answer, but I still have rough nights with my children and they're not all preschoolers anymore.

Man oh man....I'm exhausted just reading your post!!! I do remember those days. I did have an infant, a 1 year old and a 2 year old. It was hard.
I don't have an answer to your question, except to give little tid bits of advice here and there.
First, get hubby to help ALOT more. I don't know if I could have done such a good job if my husband didn't help me as much as he did.
Second, are you sure that your pre-schooler is really hungry and not just manipulating you into a. giving him extra attention or b. getting to stay up just a little longer? (My son did this...he is a real manipulator.)
Thirdly, get a schedule, whether it be Karen's or a tweeked one of your own and stick to it. There is no veering off course! Kids love consistency.
Fourth, try to stop the yelling. It just gets them all riled up and they realize that this is a way of getting your attention...either postive or negative attention...they don't care which it is. With 4 young kids they all are fighting for your attention!!! (I know this is hard, but it will help to calm the mood. e.g. If they bang on the door while your brushing teeth, IGNORE it! Eventually they will realize that you aren't going to respond and stop it.)
I wish you the best! Hang in there, this road is short although it will be well traveled by the time you get off of it!