Bedtimes and Allowances

Hi R.
Well, I have a 8,6,and 4 year old...during the school year I have them go to bed between 8:00-8:30. My kids have always been early risers and get up at 6:45 throughout the year. I have found that if they stay up later, they still get up early and I have to deal with grumpy kids all day!

Each of my kids have 2 assigned chores each week that are geared toward their age level-these are done because they are part of the family and everyone helps out. On my son's 8th birthday he started to get an allowance, not in any way associated with the chores he's responsible for. I gave him 3 labeled glass jars (savings/giving/spending)--he receives $4 a week, one dollar for giving (church), one dollar for savings, and two dollars for spending. Some websites recommended one dollar per child's year for a weekly allowance, but I thought $8 per week was a bit much to start out with. If you google crown ministries they have several articles about allowances and some good suggestions to instill financial responsibility in kids. Hope this helps.
R.

For bedtimes I've always calculated the time they need to get up to get to school on time, how many hours of sleep they seem to need to function throughout the day and then set the time for them. I told my daughter that if she showed she can get right out of bed and get ready without my prodding then she is eligible to re-negotiate the bedtime. She is starting 8th grade and almost 14. She wants to stay up til 10:30 and I'd prefer 9 but she has to catch the school bus at 6:40 am for school starting at 7:10! We'll see how it goes. As for the allowance, I am glad to see that you are not tying it to chores! As you mentioned, everyone should help out to keep the household clean and functioning and our payoff is a clean and functioning household! I do feel that kids need an allowance as it lets them have some power and control and teaches them about money. If they are like my kid, they spend more frugally when it's coming out of their wallet. I would think a couple of dollars per week is sufficient for their ages but you have to decide what they will buy out of it vs what you will buy for them. My daughter gets $10 per week but buys all her own snacks, gum, etc and pays for her own activities (like skating or matinee with friends). She also started her own babysitting business and will be making an income as well. I am a single working mom also raising an 11-month old grandson (from my 22 yr old daughter) so I watch my money pretty well. Best Wishes!

Bedtimes depend less on the child's age and more on what time he/she needs to get up. Last year when my daughter was 7 and in second grade, bedtime was 8:30 because she had to be up at 7 for school. We're planning to start with the same bedtime this year and see how it goes. If your son doesn't have to get up until 7:30 or 8 for school, then 8:30 probably is too early.

What I use to figure bedtime is to watch about how long she sleeps on days she doesn't have to get up at a specific time and just sleeps until she wakes up. Then, just figure the bedtime accordingly based upon what time she has to be up. My daughter has always slept a little more than average and for her it was about 10-11 hours per night. So an 8:30 bedtime was 10-1/2 hours before she had to be up at 7.

Our son starts school this year and, even though he's younger, he's always needed a little less sleep. He hasn't napped during the day since he was 2. We're planning to use the same bedtime with him.

As for allowance, I'm wanting to start it with my daughter, too, so I'll be watching the posts! I do agree with you, though, that chores should just be part of family life and not a basis for allowance.

Shoot, my kids (9, 7 and 6) go to bed at 10 or 10:30 during the summer, (somtimes later) and between 9:30 and 10 during school. They have to get up at 6:45 - 7 to arrive at school by 7:45. My boys have never been sleepers. They didn't go to bed any earlier when they were infants!! I tried everything and none of it worked. I am a very tired mother. Now, my youngest needed naps a couple times a week up until this past year. I think it depends on how much your kid sleeps, but for a 2nd grader, perhaps that is too early. If they are telling you that, maybe you can try it and see how they do.

As far as allowance, it's a great idea, and gives them motivation to do extra than the norm. I only offer my boys a dollar or two per week, depending on what they do, IF they do it. I make up a list, if they do it, they get the allowance, if they don't, nada. It's a great way to teach responsibility. Caution, tho. Don't give them too much allowance. I hear of parents giving them $5 per week at this age and I think that's crazy. You have set a precedent and have to keep going higher. Pretty soon you'll hear them say: No, I don't want to earn any money, I have enough.

Good Luck!

I have an 8yr old as well. I put her to bed at 8:30. I don't think that time is too early. It gives the child plenty of sleep for school. I think 9:00 is too late. She thinks 8:30 is too early and doesn't think she needs to go to bed that early. I told her, it is better for you so you don't fall asleep in school. She kept arguing with me and I finally told her, that is the rule in this house. She proceeded to tell me it isn't fair. I then said, rules are rules, if you don't like them, when you get a job and get a place of your own, you can make your own rules, but as long as you live under my roof you will need to go by my rules. She didn't have much to say after that.

I would say 8:30 is a very reasonable time to go to bed. Kids that age need 8-10 hours of sleep a night and I assume his school starts around nine?? In my opinion I think you should stick to your guns on this one!

As far as the allowance goes, I have a 2 year old so Im not quite there yet so I have no great advice for you. My parents however, had me do chores and if I wanted to do anything fun like go to a friend's house during the weekend or something I had to have those chores done for the week as well as good behavior that week or I didnt get to go! Then of course if the friend and I were going to go to the movies or something Mom would give me spending money. Hope this helps!