I need ideas to help my 9yo go dry through the night. We have taken the night time pull ups away, watch what he drinks in the evenings before bed, make sure he goes before bed, take him at night, etc. DH wants him out of the overnight pants before he goes to camp this summer (he has enough troubles with getting made fun of, we do not need to add something else). He makes him change his bed and wash his sheets whenever he wets the bed (which is almost every night). He has never gone more than 2 nights dry in a row.
I have looked at a plethora of online resources and nothing has worked. I personally do not think he is ready to be out of the big kid pull-ups, but DH is the one forcing it.
Thanks for all of your suggestions. I never really thought about mentioning it to his pedi He's due for his check-up so I will mention it then. Just so we are clear, we attach NO SHAME to this. There is no punishment other than him cleaning up his own mess. There is no yelling, spanking, teasing or other repercussions. We also praise him when he goes dry over night. His father is making a big deal about camp because e does not want him teased over this.
Thanks again, ladies!
I haven't ready any other responses so hopefully you aren't hearing the same thing here.
Have you read the book "Dry All Night"? It is a cute book that has had a HUGE success to stop bedwetting. It worked with my son. It also has a calendar so you can do a rewards system if he stays dry. Try not to laugh with some of the analogies because they are funny but it really is cute.
Good Luck!
Wouldn't it be worse at camp if his bed gets wet? He can be discreet, getting dressed in the bathroom or in bed...this is an emotional issue, can come from subconsciously fearing a parent, most often Dad. Dad gets to show unconditional love and put a lot of care into this relationship in order to heal the underlying issue. Best of luck.
Just to add here, there is no reason he can't go to camp and he can probably learn to be discreet with the night-wear. I always went to a week-long camp and I wet the bed until I was almost 12 years old. My sister and I had the same difficulties, hers were worse, we had the nasal spray and she was often at the urologist. This is normal. It is okay to have him clean up (he is old enough) but it should be treated as normally as putting his towel in the hamper after a bath, or clearing the dining table. He should not be punished for something that he has no control over. He should also be drinking if he is thirsty. I sometimes walked in my sleep and even slept through an earthquake, so getting up for the bathroom was not always likely to happen.
I agree with the suggestion that daddy should go with you to the doctor's (but I would call ahead and let them know that you need all the information). Sometimes people do not understand normal development and parents can feel like they are doing something wrong and they take it out by making a child feel bad. It sounds like you could just use some reassurance that your son is perfectly fine, there is no need to make things worse by keeping him from a camp (especially if he wants to go), and he just needs to know he is loved and understood.
I wet the bed til I was 9 years old and I can tell you that no amount of forcing anything will help your son get through it any faster. In fact, it could make things worse. It's not like he's doing it on purpose and I'm sure he's embarrassed by it, I know I was! Patience and love will get him through it. My mother bought an alarm clock and set it for midnight. When it went off, I had to get up and go to the bathroom. Not sure if you have already tried that or not but it worked for me. Is there a psychological reason that your son is wetting the bed? For me, it started when my father passed away when I was 4 years old. Has your son gone through anything traumatic which caused the bedwetting? Stay patient and be gentle with him. I remember how humiliating it was to wet the bed at that age. To this day, I am so thankful that everyone was so loving and never said anything to make me feel worse than I already did.
We used an enuresis alarm for our 8 yr old son- it worked beautifully and took about a week. He very rarely has accidents anymore and even when he does it is just a little, not completely soaked. Here is a link to the website where we purchased ours.
http://bedwettingstore.com/Bedwetting_Alarms/malem_bedwet...
We bought the Malem brand with sound and vibration because our son we a VERY deep sleeper and I was not sure the alarm alone would wake him up. I very strongly, happily recommend this alarm and their suggested process!! Good luck with whatever you choose.
Often this is a neurological issue. I would suggest that you try chiropractic, or ABC ( advanced bio correctional) and craniosacral work. Often there is a nerve that is a problem and when the signals can work there are no longer any issues.....
Not sure this is the case here, but have heard of this solving the issue so many times.
Well, I can tell you that my mom has guided me to the realization that all that you are doing is great, but there is one thing you need to do that will be a little tough...my grandma did it for her and my mom did it for us kids and now I am doing it every night religiously and my son is 4--You need to set your alarm clock and get up..walk him to the bathroom around 1 or 2 --it doesnt matter that you watch what you give him, it is still fluid and it is healthy to atleast get him in the bathroom every 3-5 hours...It is very difficult to do it each night, but needs to be done..sometimes I get frustrated and tell myself that it will never work, but it has and it will for you...please try to do this for him so that life will be good for him becuse my husband still wets the bed sometimes--imagine your son and the embarressment..he might just have a small bladder or his dreams might also give him trouble...good luck
J., I know I am late with replying to your question... but I just want to say that my son just went through the same thing. My son is younger than yours but none the less, he was still wetting the bed EVERY NIGHT!
I asked his pedi about it and he said it has to do with his nose. He put my son on an antihistamine nose spray 2x a day, and hasn't wet the bed in over a month! It's amazing the difference in him. It was over night! I don't know what and how my son snoring at night affected his bed wetting but it did. Does your son have those small dark circles under his eyes just past the nose? My son does and it's from the swelling of his sinus cavities from allergies... it caused him to not be able to breath right at night and that is what was causing the bed wetting. I wish you the best of luck with your situation!! If you have any other questions let me know! Oh and also, I set up the timer on my phone for every thirty minutes about 1 1/2 hours before bed.. I make him go potty every time it goes off until bed time. We've missed A LOT of those times and he still stays dry!
I would talk to your pediatrician, at that age it is likely a medical reason. Ours has a flyer on one of the exam room doors about it.
This is a medical issue. See a doctor (preferably a pedi urologist). They can even prescribe medication to help. It is not a behavior issue!!! Take your husband with you when you go to the doctor so she or he can explain it to him. Good luck.
J.:
You have great responses but I wanted to add one more. I have two boys that had issues with wetting at night. My pedi recommended a company called The Potty Pager (www.pottypager.com). The pager is a SILENT alarm (yea!) that vibrates at the slightest amount of moisture. By wearing it nightly, the kids train themselves to wake up before they have an accident. Cost is about $75.00 and worth every penny.
Both of my sons did great with this device, however my older son had a relapse about the time that puberty hit (about a year later). This time I asked for meds and the pedi put him on a medication that he takes at night and it's worked wonders. He still wears the pager to bed as well but he's been dry since. I'm not that thrilled with him being on a daily medication but it's better for his self-esteem.
We also had our sons wash their sheets when they wet the bed. It wasn't a punishment, just a matter of responsibility. Plus this way they did not have to come to us and tell us. They simply took their sheets to the laundry room and started washing.
Best of luck to you and your family. Keep up the diligent good work!
has he been checked by a uroligist? Many boys have the same problem and just have to grow out of it and it may take several years. I wish there had been big kid pull-ups for our son. Try to get DH to back off and give him time.
My 9 yr. daughter had the same issue, I talked to her ped. dr. and he gave her a medication called DDAVP . She used this med. for about 3 weeks and stopped. She hasn't had an accident since. NO MATTER how much water she drinks at it has been 6 months.
Get your son to a pediatric urologist. My friend had the same problem with her son the urologist did tests and found out that his bladder muscle was not working as it should and he had no control over his problem. He was put on meds and giving exercises to do that has fixed all the problems. He is now a normal little boy that isn't getting in trouble for something he couldn't control. Good Luck
Hi J., I’m M. Francis from the GoodNites NiteLite Panel. Mamapedia is partnering with GoodNites through September and your question is something I write about a lot as part of the NiteLite Panel, so I wanted to say hello and check in. First of all, bravo to you for making sure this is a shame-free subject for your son! I know how hard it can be to keep cool when faced with those wet sheets, so I applaud you for that.
Did you reach an agreement with your husband? One of my sons was in GoodNites Underwear until just before his tenth birthday. He spent a few nights away from home and I was worried about him being embarrassed, too, but then it occurred to me that he’d be way more embarrassed if he didn’t wear the pants and had an accident. He wound up wearing GoodNites Underwear, because they fit easily under his pajama bottoms. He said none of the other kids noticed and he had an easier time sleeping because he wasn’t afraid he might wet the bed. Chances are good this isn’t something your son can control and the sleep pants may be doing a lot of good for his confidence levels.
If you want to check out www.goodnites.com, there are articles about some of the reasons behind bedwetting and how very common it is for a boy your son’s age to still experience some nighttime wetness! Good luck and please update us if you get the chance.
My son will be 19 next month and he STILL sometimes wets the bed. There is a chemical he's missing in his system that most people have that stops you from urinating in your sleep. He doesn't have much of it in his system and we've tried the synthetic of it, but it doesn't help him. He can't control it and I've never punished him for it. He's always had to bring me his sheets, but I wash them and he puts them back on his bed. He wore goodnites until they didn't make them big enough for him. Definately talk to his doctor. But tell your husband that ridiculing the child will only lower his self-esteem more - he's not doing it on purpose and there's probably a medical explanation for it. I feel for you - hope you find the answer.
Try a chiropractor! They have great results!
Sorry your son is having to deal with this. It is hard & frustrating for all. My daughter was a heavy sleeper & I had a heck of a time getting her night trained. Now obviously your son's problem is medical, but what I did should work. I had my daughter go before bed (8:30). Then about 2 hrs later (10:30)I had her get up & go again, then I went to bed. I then set my watch alarm for about (1;00am). We get up at 6:00 am for our day, so her longest stretch was 5 hrs and she stayed dry. after few months, she told me not to wake her that she could do it herself. I told her we would try it & we have yet to have an accident. so she told me when she was ready, but I found that we she had on the pull ups, she always was wet. So I had to get rid of it. The one waking up at night did disrupt my sleep, but no more than it did when she needed to be fed at night. If you get on a schedule, then perhaps it will train his body & his sleep rhythms, so that he can manage this by the time camp comes. Best of luck. My friends son just went his first week dry & getting up on his own & he is 7. He is hoping to be able to have a sleepover this summer.
Talk to your pediatrician. There could be reasons why this is occuring. DO NOT make it an issue so central in family life. Take no notice of it. And if he is not ready to go to camp. Who cares? Finally, have DH be the one to do the research, if he will, with your pediatrician. He is in danger of sacrificing the quality of his relationship with his son to "cure" a behavior that could be rooted in a medical or developmental issue.
