Bedwetting 7 Year Old

Updated on October 27, 2009
F.S. asks from South Elgin, IL
12 answers

My 7 year old is still wetting herself at night. I have read all the things saying that this is normal and I am cool with that (although my husband really struggles with it). The recent problem though is that she is totally comfortable wetting herself. So much so that the other night when she got ready for bed with her pull up on and then stayed up a little later to play she just decided to wet in her pull up instead of going to the bathroom.... Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Many people are asking why a 7 year old is in pull-ups and I was asking my self the same thing when she was 3 and all my friends where telling me that their 2 years old had been out of pull-ups for a year. I pushed and pushed with rewards, stickers, warning and condemnation, etc. So I searched the web and many websites stated that this can actually be normal until 12 or 13. I think I asked my doctor and she said the same. The web has said, like many others here, to be patient and that it will work itself out so that's what I have been trying for a few years. Right now the issue is that I don't know how long I should just let her go along on her on and when do I start adding a little pressure again. With her doing that awake peeing thing that kind of got me thinking hey I need to apply "some" presure here or she will think this is just an okay thing and not even try.....that's my story. I guess I'm hoping someone can let me know that I am not alone in this. Thanks!! BTW, she was potty trained at 18 months and she pretty much did it herself...

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P.M.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter too went through this phaze. I told her that even though we were not mad at her for wetting in her sleep it is not the norm and she would probably grow out of it. I would not let her put on a pull up until the very last thing and only after she went to the bathroom. I explained that they are expensive and this would not be a permanent solution. I also had problems with her leaving wet ones on her floor inside of her pj's. I told her not to be gross! Wetting in her sleep was something she could not control but the rest were things she was consiously doing and it had to stop. She is now 8 and sleeps dry every night. The pull up days are over. We are all happier for it. Best of luck I can totally relate.

Peggy

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A.D.

answers from Peoria on

My 9 year old still has very rare accidents, but up until a year ago, she was still wetting once or twice a week. I understand the frustration and having to get up in the middle of the night to change sheets, blankets, etc. I have a son who's 5 and stopped wetting at night at 3 years of age. We tried a bed wetting alarm with her and that didn't help either. The only thing that made a difference was time and patience. The fact is all kids are different. What's most often the case is that the size of the bladder hasn't quite caught up with the volume yet or the child is a very deep sleeper (I think my daughter is a case of both.) However, even if it is bladder size, the child needs to learn to recognize signals that she needs to go and to get up and go. The night time "pull ups" that they're selling now are a bad idea as far as I'm concerned EXCEPT on occassions like being on vacation, staying the night at a friend or relative's house, in other words, any time when she is not sleeping at home, then I think they're ok. At home though, put her in underwear, get a plastic mattress cover, and just be prepared to have to change a lot of sheets for awhile. The reason she's just going in her pull up on purpose and not going to the bathroom is because the pull up wicks the wetness away from her and she is not uncomfortable, therefore why expend the time and energy to use the bathroom? It becomes an excuse, a crutch. At 7 she's definitely old enough to know this is wrong! Wetting the bed in her sleep is not a cause for punishment, but doing it when she's awake most definitely IS. Take the pull ups away, store them for away from home trips, and put her in underwear with a plastic mattress. Make her wake up wet and uncomfortable for awhile and have to get up to come ask you for help. Maybe at 7 she's still a bit too young for this but you could try it...teach her how to change her own bedding and pajamas. If she has to get up and change bedding because she wet the bed, she may start paying more attention to her body and waking up in order to avoid having to go through all of that. Bottom line is though, avoid pull ups and let her grow out of it in her own time. It might take a couple more years, likely not, but it may. But pull ups are not the answer. Also, be sure to take her to the doctor and tell him your concerns and have him test her for any infections as sometimes even just a slight but long term lingering kidney or bladder or urinary tract infection that doesn't cause any outright symptoms can cause bed wetting problems. I would avoid any medications specifically for bed wetting that the doctor may want to prescribe though. These can have some pretty negative side effects.

Also, restrict drinks for a couple hours before bedtime. If she's thirsty, let her have a couple drinks of water, and also make her try to use the bathroom before getting into bed, even if she says she doesn't have to go. Another thing you could do is if you are still up a couple hours after she's gone to bed, get her up and take her to the bathroom to try again even if she went before bedtime. I had a doctor tell me once that this wouldn't help and would just "disrupt her sleep cycle" but we did it anyway with our daughter and it did help and it didn't seem to make her more tired or anything the next day. Personally, waking up wet and having to change clothes and wait for sheets/blankets to be changed seemed to me to be a disruption to her sleep and a worse one than a couple minute trip to the bathroom. She stayed dry most nights that we got her up to go and it may help "program" her to wake up around that same time every night to go, kind of like how you often wake up before your alarm clock goes off because your body's so used to waking up at that time.

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B.G.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Leslie and Angela. When our daughter went through this at 5 (not the on purpose part) pull-ups were not an option. But we did double make the bed (a suggestion from p's of twins). Here's what I mean: waterproof matress pad, fitted sheet, waterproof piddle pad, fitted sheet, then top sheet. The point being, in the middle of the night you only have to peel of the top layers and replace the top sheet and blankets with clean ones instead of remaking the entire bed.
good luck,
B.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi F.,

Don't take this the wrong way, but why is a 7-year old still wearing pull ups? My suggestion is get rid of the pull up, because she won't feel the wettness. Put her in underwear. I have a plastic mattress protector, because sometimes my 7 year old still has accidents; but as he gets closer to eight, I noticed it is less frequent. Hold the drinks 1 hour before bed, and I always give my son a bath before bed, because he routinesly uses the toilet. That way I know he has gone before he goes to sleep. Hang in there it's almost over.

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K.G.

answers from Chicago on

Don't push it!!!! If she is not bothered by it, you shouldn't be either. I have a 12 year old boy who still wets. I pushed and pushed and tried every alarm possible. Nothing worked. It has really affected his self esteem. His body just isn't ready yet and he sleeps so hard. It is not something he can control. I regret pushing him every day when he was younger. It is not his fault nor is it your daughters. Be patient and it will happen when she is ready.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi F.!
You are so not alone! My son trained himself at 19 months and we are still having night time issues - he's 6.

I do feel that every child is different and their bladders will develop that night time strength at some point (nobody goes to college in pull ups, right?).

I honestly don't think my son is ready. He has had a few nights here and there where he stayed dry all night, but its certainly not anything regular.

We've tried limiting beverages, but we eat dinner at 6:30 and he goes to be around 7:30-8 and I can't restrict that at dinner!

We've also tried waking him up to go to the bathroom before we go to bed (around 11) and that seemed to help a little bit...he would then wake up around 3 or 4 and go on his own, but again, that was hit or miss too.

I think we just need to be patient.

And for all the judgmental moms out there who think that these kids are "too old" for pull ups/goodnights, etc...then you are lucky that you have a child who doesn't need them. Our kids bodies just haven't developed yet to hold it consistently all night.

Hugs,
B. :-)

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S.W.

answers from Peoria on

My middle daughter was about 8 when she was finally able to get through the night without wetting.
We used a plastic sheet and also pull ups...seriously, why should all of you be up inthe middle of the night loosing sleep over something she can not control. Keep using the pull ups, despite what the other moms say. You can not 'train' your child to notice what their body is telling them while they are asleep.
that being said, the issue of her just wetting the pull up while awake is one you need to shut down now. explain that she has one on to keep dry while she sleeps, not while she is awake. she is old enough to understand that. with daughter, we put it on as part of the bedtime routine: right before bed, she went to the bathroom (even if she didnt have to go, she tried, and usually went) and thats when the pull up went on, then right to bed. dont let her wear it while playing, and you can avoid the whole situation.
hang in there....its tough, but she isnt able to control it.

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A.R.

answers from Peoria on

I completely understand your request/frustration. My daughter just recently (the last couple weeks) stopped wetting the bed. We eat dinner at 6:30-7:00 so cutting out drinks was not a good option for us. If you can do it about and hour or hour and a half before bed great. It may help. The only thing I can suggest for wetting on pourpose is do not put it on her until RIGHT before bed. with our kids we would do bath,pjs (with pullup), 1 book each in bed and sleep. All playing and whatnot is done before pull up even goes on.
As far as the parents who say don't use a pull up at all, I think it is rediculous. If a child is wetting the bed it is not something they can control and a pull up helps you and her. You don't want her to feel bad and upset because she wet the bed if it is something she can't control. All the parents who say she can just learn to conrol it and deal with it obviously never had this problem as a child. I stopped wetting the bed by about 4 years old, however I had brothers who wet the bed until 12. There is a chemical in the brain that has to develop for a child to be able to wake up and use the bathroom or hold it all night. Until that develops no alarms or punishments or rewards or anything will work.
The last suggestion I have is make sure when her pull up is wet that it is something she did overnight. Meaning last thing at night have her go potty and put on a pull up and as soon as she gets up in the morning have her use bathroom and take off pullup. We found with my daughter that sometimes she would wet in the morning when she was awake, not while she was sleeping. We decided to try and see if she could go all night without wetting. We put a plastic sheet on her bed and prepared her for it a couple nights ahead of time. then the night came and she asked for her "princess" (thats what she called her pull ups because they had princesses on them) We reminded her that she is a big girl and will not be using princesses and then put her to bed. I expected to have a few nights of wet sheets/bedding to wash, but to my surprise she woke up dry the next morning and has every morning since. That confirmed my suspicions too that she was wetting while awake. It was just easier to wet in a pullup than to get up from bed,or take time out from playing to go to the bathroom. If we had gone a week or so with wet sheets and no improvement than I would've moved her back to pull ups and waited a little longer and tried again later. And kept doing that until she could stay consistantly dry.
In the end, do what works best for you/your daughter and if that answer is pullups or goodnight or whatever do it and don't feel bad about it. BUT definatly take steps to nip the awake wetting in the butt.
EDIT: Be wary of making her wake up wet and being mad or making her change heself/bedding/etc. It may work for you, but my brother got to where he would hide the wet things under his bed. This, as I'm sure you can imagine, made his room stink worse, ruined the carpet, and made it harder to clean the sheets/pajamas and get them so the stink would come out.

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K.H.

answers from Chicago on

My 7 year old daughter does the same thing. I am interested in hearing from other moms about this too. I was put in the hospital when I was six for my bladder issue. It was a horrible experience. I do not want to traumatize my child. She never has an issue during the day. She claims that she sleeps too soundly. My husband has admitted that he had this problem until he was 12. I would like to ignore the whole thing and hope it goes away. I would appreciate any thoughts too. Thanks F. for asking the question.

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L.A.

answers from Chicago on

If this only happens at night, then maybe put her in underwear, so she feels the wetness.Put a waterproof mattress cover on, and maybe on top of the sheet one of those waterproof pads.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Sometimes this late in the potty training game, chronic bed wetting is often linked to food allergies as food can irritate the bladder turning off the signal in the brain at night to use the bathroom. I first read about this in Dr.Rapp's book, Is This My Child? who talks about food allergies in relation to physical and mental behaviors. www.drrapp.com I did a quick search and found this website too: http://healthy-family.org/caryn/139 just think how caffiene irratates the bladder, causing you to go more. Other trigger foods for the bladder are citrus, chocolate, milk to name a few.

It is so overlooked by docs, find one that will listen and be open to this option. If you do a food allergy test, it should be the ELISA test as it tests both IgE and IgG in response to allergies...skin tests just test for the IgE responses.

Another option is to see a chiropractor, it works well for older adult women who have over active bladder issues and in children with chronic bedwetting.

It may seem far fetched, but explore your options.

Good Luck,
J. W. MPH
Maternal and Child Health Educator
Chicago Examiner Family Health Expert
http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-7158-Chicago-Family-He...

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J.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi F. 7 years old is entirely to old for a child to still be wetting themselves. Take her in to see her peditrican to see if it's something physical or mental.

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