Bedwetting on Purpose?

Updated on June 22, 2014
S.B. asks from Mountain Rest, SC
8 answers

Hello,
well, i dont know what to do with my daughter at the moment, hoping for some advice and maybe someone is in a similar situation.

My daughter was a frequent bedwetter until she was 7 and she wore goodnites at this time. Allready at this time i sometimes wondered how easily she accepted it that she had to wear those special panties for her nightime wettings, never a tantrum and i never had to remind her to put one one for bedtime, they were just her "nightime panties" and she seems not much ahamed of it, maybe because we never made a big deal about. Sure we also took her also to doctors, but they also reasured us, that it it is not so uncommon and she will outgrow soon.

Luckily she really did, since then she wets about once a month or only every second month.
My Daughter is now 13, it still happens fromt time to time, but its rarely enough to let her sleep without goodnites for years now.

But recently she had a sleepover at my brothers home with her cousin.
Her cousin is 10 years old and still wets very often (it runs our family) she still has goodnites, and like my daughter when she was younger, its also no big deal for her cousin.

When she was back home i heard my daughter say that her cousins goodnites are cute.
I didnt thought much about this comment - but now she has wet her bed twice this week!

I talked to her about but she didnt gave me really a answer.

What do you think i should do?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Austin on

I also wet the bed for many years... I don't know when I outgrew it. I remember dreaming about going to the toilet, but would start to pee, and realize the toilet lid was down, and I got wet, and that was what woke me up to find out that I had wet the bed.

Unfortunately, there weren't goodnights or similar items.... I just had a plastic mattress cover under my sheet......

I remember going on sleep-overs and having the mother put a plastic bag under the sheet where I would be sleeping.... now that was humiliating!

Anyway, I am glad you have the goodnights for her..... I don't think I would get her the "cute" type, but something as plain as possible.

Now... why did she wet the bed more frequently this week? What happens when she does wet at night? Does she get up and take care of it herself, or does she sleep through it in the wet goodnights?

I wonder if they are making it too "easy" for her.... she doesn't feel it, so she doesn't waike when she wets.

I wonder if you put a regular pair of underwear on her first, then the goodnights.... she might wake when she wets, since she has the wet material next to her skin. Would that help "train" her to feel when she is wet? I don't really know... I'm just reaching for a solution here......

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

L.A.

answers from Austin on

When was the last time she was checked by a doctor about the bed wetting?

Maybe it is now time to see a specialist just to make sure there is not something going on, also you all may learn about some new treatments.
Does she have a small bladder?

Is she a super deep sleeper? I wonder if she had a second alarm that could wake her at night, if she could get up and try to go to the bathroom at the time she usually has her accidents?

I wonder if a sleep study could help?

I agree to tell her from now on, if she wets the bed, she is now old enough to clean up. Make sure her mattress is covered with a zip on cover. Do you all wipe it down with cleansers each time? Is there any odors in her room from this?

Make sure she knows how to do the laundry to take care of this on her own. If she is going to be a lifetime bed wetter, (which apparently is a real thing) she will have to handle this on her own eventually, especially in college.

If I got super desperate, I would try acupuncture or hypnosis. I had a cough for years. I saw all kinds of experts. This cough was not only driving me crazy, but also my husband and daughter.

Finally went to see an acupuncturist, 1 session and it was practically gone. a few treatments later along with some special natural herb drops.. Not a problem since.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

FYI, on my insurance it is covered.. They even have a list of approved acupuncturist.

5 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

set her up for success by getting a waterproof mattress pad and plenty of spare sheets. at 13 she can decide whether or not to wear the goodnights. but if she wets the bed, it's up to her to handle it.
i assume she's been evaluated by a urologist?
she didn't give you an answer because there's not one to give. what could she possibly say that would satisfy?
khairete
S.

5 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Welcome to mamapedia!!

Your daughter needs to be taken to a urologist. There are some people who wet the bed throughout their whole life...I have girlfriend who MUST wear "Depends" to bed...she's a REALLY deep sleeper and tried EVERYTHING, even medication....so to avoid the embarrassment? She wears depends. Get your daughter checked out.

Whether she's doing it for attention or if there is something wrong - you need to know.

If she wets the bed again? Don't get up for her. She's 13, she can change the sheets herself. Make sure she has a water proof mattress pad on her bed so her mattress isn't damaged and make sure she has clean sheets to change during the night....I'd make her responsible for washing them as well.

Yes, that's a little harsh. I know. However, IF it is determined she's doing this for attention and NOT because she has a problem with her body? She needs to be held accountable!

Good luck!

5 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Ignore it and have her be responsible for changing her bedding and doing her laundry.

4 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I have a different take on this. My son suffered with nocturnal enuresis for years. We talked to the pediatrician and also to a pediatric urologist. It's more common in boys than in girls, but it's a very real condition in which the child's brain doesn't get the "wake up, the bladder is full" signal. It's unlikely that kids really like to sleep in a patch of urine. It's unlikely that punishment will work (wash the sheets, don't wear Goodnights, etc.). It's a developmental phase, no more no less than any other medical condition.

My son's situation was resolved with a simple medication, taken at night, with no side effects. The urologist told us he had kids on it sometimes until age 8, sometimes until 12, and some up to age 18. I'm not a person who says "Oh goody, let's take medication because some doctor said so" but believe me, this made the difference. My son slept all night (essential for healthy growth and development), he was able to go to sleepovers and camp, and he got out of nighttime incontinence garments.

This problem runs in your family so you might want to accept it.

The other option is to look long term at epigenetics which is the science of helping cells to perform their function more efficiently and repair these things that go wrong, from autoimmune issues to other forms of faulty gene expression. Genes turn on and off within each cell in a certain way so that cell knows what its job is (eye call vs. skin cell vs. smooth muscle vs. bone, etc.). If something's commonly amiss in your family (and these epigenetic changes can be passed down from generation to generation), there are non-medical, food science approaches to help heal cells so they function better. This is my area of expertise, and while it's not an overnight fix, people get extraordinary results and increased immunity over a period of several months.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I can not imagine any 13 yo doing this on purpose. Since she has never really stopped wetting the bed I think her body is just not ready to be dry all night. At this point I would do nothing but wash the sheets. I think she will outgrow it soon.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Miami on

Here's what you do. Nothing. NO GOODNITES.

She's old enough to stop this nonsense. Once in a while is one thing. But this IS deliberate and she will just be hurting herself. If kids at school catch wind of her wearing a pull-up, they will never forget it and will make fun of her.

What you need to do is make her own her wet sheets. It's HER job to strip her bed and put the sheets and her pj's in the washer and turn it on. When she gets home in the afternoon (if she goes somewhere), she has to put them in the dryer and then put them back on her bed. Don't talk about her wetting the bed anymore. If she doesn't wash her sheets, she sleeps on wet sheets.

I had a friend whose daughter wet her bed until her early teens. Her room would smell like urine and the girl didn't care. The only thing that stopped it was the mom letting go of the work and making her daughter responsible for it. That included just closing the bedroom door and not allowing the girl to sleep anywhere but her room. (She actually tried pulling the "sleep on the couch" card because she didn't want to bother with her own bed. That would have meant wetting the sofa that everyone sat on. No way.)

Do this for her own good. Stop enabling her now.

2 moms found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions