Behavior at Restuarants

We are going through the same thing. We had just stopped going out but now we go out sometimes and bring along the video ipod (you'd have to download shows first) and let her watch that once she gets antsy. She generally has enough time to watch one show.

I also have little ones, a two old (three in a few days) and 10 month old. We also only go to family restraunts. Sometimes the crayons they give just don't cut it!

I let my daughter bring one quiet toy (a doodle pad or etch a sketch is usually the choice).

My 10 month old loves to eat so I usually bring her a snack, puffs or yogurt bites. I don't like her to eat anything from the restraunt because by the time dinner comes she's bored so having something new to give her is nice.

We also set expectations and consequences before we get there.

Most of all we take them out. By this I mean they can't learn to behave in public if they are not in public. So keep going and remember they will get it as long as you are consistant, just like at home.

We've always taken our kids to restaurants - not always the "family" ones, but the nice ones too. When my younger one was 3, she was disappointed that a restaurant only gave her one fork instead of two or three. So, it's good to expose them to these thing now so they learn how to behave. We always brought a little bag with small quiet toys like little books, crayons and a notebook of paper, etc. You can read to them, have them trace the salt and pepper shakers, silverware,their hands or just let them draw. Try playing peek-a boo with the napkin. They knew when the food came it was time to put things back in the bag. We would let them sit on our lap when they needed to, or take them for a little walk before or after the food came. Our kids are now 9 & 11 and still like to bring a notebook to play hangman, draw or make origami. It can be hard work, but they'll learn. We've all had our meltdowns !

I struggle with this as well. My husband and I go online and view the menu and decide what we want before leaving home. When we get there we order at the servers first stop by our table. That way the wait is reduced. We always bring a few crackers for them to munch on while we wait for the food (not too much as they won't eat if they are full on crackers). We often bring a book to read to them while we wait as well. It distracts them without having toys. Then we try to have conversation that includes their input. We do bribe them as well. Sitting in their own seat while we eat earns them 1 small piece of candy at the end of the meal. Ask for the bill when they kids are about 1/2 way done. If you have not paid by the time you are done eating, one of us takes the kids for a "walk" while the other pays the bill. It is not a perfect situation everytime but these little things really help make it much more enjoyable. Good Luck!

One and a half is a tough age for restaurants. That's about the age we stopped taking my daughter, it just wasn't an enjoyable evening for anyone. As others have said, we would get carry out and bring it home. We cut going out to a restaurant down to about once a month until she got older and was more able to control her behavior. We also implemented what someone else mentioned, after giving a warning to my daughter if she continued to act up, we left. It's really not fair to the people sitting around you to tolerate a temper tantrum or complete breakdown. If behavior is out of control you or your husband should get up and leave with the kids while the other one stays to get everything boxed up and pay the check. This teaches your child that your serious about proper behavior and it will be appreciated by your fellow diners whose dinner is being interupted by your child.

Hi A.!
We have 2 boys, ages 2 and almost 4 so dinner out is hardly fun at times. Here is what works for us:
*Family friendly restaurants
*Order the kid's meals as soon as you order your drinks.
*Bring coloring books or random toys that are only seen at restaurants. (I also find that straws or paper coasters that some restaurants have keep the younger one busy..who knew?)
*If you have a portable DVD player...a lifesaver..though I was one who swore I would never do this at restaurant..sometimes we do! ;0)
*My 4 yr old has a leapfrog leapster...keeps him quite busy and quiet.

Good Luck! Some days, we go out and it is a fun time. Some days...we wish we would have just picked up take out!

Hi A.,
I started younge with my 3 kids. We have Manner night, only ladies and gentlemen are invited. We go over all the polite ways to act when we go out. Make it different than any other day of the week. Light a candle or have a special desert that is at the end of the meal so it will encourage them to do well. Because only ladies and gentelmen will get desert. We have even dressed up and the boys pull out the chairs and the girls encourage them for doing so. Now with saying all that .... it takes time! That is why we do it at home :) and often. But I can say that it has paid off, all my kids can go into any setting (not just resturants) and I can reminde them to be ladies and gentelmen and are.
I read the other Moms advise also and they have great tips too. I love MamaSource don't you!
R.

Hi I am a mother of 2 girls now 11/14 but we were very busy always on the go parents so we ate ut practicaly every night of the week (not no more). To say wait till they are older is not always the best solution cause then you are just starting fresh with the behavior. Kids learn at an early age what is right & what is wrong even a 1.5yr old.. You & your husband need to figure out a system that works best for you... Activities are always a plus let your son sit on the seat next to you or on your lap before dinner comes that way he isn't sitting in his highchair to long. Keep your conversations directed toward your kids make it a learning game. Ask them were certain color's are or were is the plant even your 1.5yr old will point to things & think it's fun weather he's right or not.. If they just get to out of hand take them outside & tell them your not going back to see daddy /mommy who ever stays inside till they calm down.. It is a learning experience but I promise you will get theought it.. I watch my best friends son who just turned 14months & my husband & I do lunch together every Friday & the baby does awesome... Good luck

Hi A.,

I also have an 18-month-old, no older kid. We have to eat out a lot since we travel a lot, so my son has a lot of experience of restaurants. I guess that perhaps yours is not so used to it, and gets uncomfortable or hyped-up, or both, and the misbehaviour is his way of communicating this. If my littlie wants to sit on my lap while he eats, then I let him - in my opinion, better this than a scene or having to leave, and it's not like he won't grow out of it. It's a little awkward but better than a meltdown. Not sure what to do about the older kid - I guess talk to her about what's expected and offer a reward for good behaviour, BEFORE going out? Toddlerhood is a tough stage for parents and kids. Good on you for sticking it out.

Oh, yeah, I forgot - if you are still breastfeeding, a nice feed before you go out does wonders: settles the kid and fills the tummy enough to last till the food arrives. If not, try a glass of milk and a very small cookie - good for both the bigger and the littler kid.

We just practice. There will be a few embarrassing moments (such as the one where my son dumped all his rice on the floor) but it gets better with time.

I try to get him something to nibble on quickly (like a cracker or small breadstick or some olives), skip the appetizers and just order our meals, and switch who he gets to sit next to each time. (One time with Mom, next time next to Dad).

He has also learned that if he is cooperating and behaving well, he may get a dessert. I like to remind him that this is a possibility before we go in, but I don't bribe him. If he is behaving and eating his meal, he can share a dessert with Mom and Dad. We don't talk about it at all because NOT getting what he wants will cause a meltdown for sure!

HTH!

This is Dr. Phil's advice not my own but he says to just pick up your kids and go when they misbehave. I know it isn't very fun but the kids really do know you mean business.

We've found the best restaurants to go to are buffet places. Kids eat for free or very inexpensively (depending on age), they can try a little of many different foods till they find something they'll eat, and the food is all ready to serve up so no wait time. And those places are always family friendly!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you might want to cut out the restaurants for a while. A simple alternative is to order food from your favorite restaurant to go. Most restaurants have websites and you can access their menu, call in your order, have your husband pick it up while you light some candles and set the table. Another option is to hit the restaurant at lunchtime. Not as much of a crowd and the kids wont get overstimulated by all the noise and strangers.

We bring activities that are interactive. My husband and I do not try to carry on adult conversations until we actually get our food.

We have coloring contests, make lemonade with water, sugar and lemons, bring ponies, cars or dinosaurs and pretend like our table is a jungle, a farm or a racetrack. Keep them entertained. Once the food comes, then you and your husband can relax, let them eat, while you converse and eat your own food.

Up until recently we went out two to three times a week and we have only had a few times where they completely had a meltdown and had to be taken outside. Kids will be kids, so try to go to restaurants that are kid friendly and save the nicer ones for date night:)

I have 2 boys (2 and 5)and I have had many bad experiences. The one thing I did learn is that eating dinner between 4:30 and 5 is the best time to take my boys. But I have also learned that my boys never seem to eat very much at any restauraunt. On nights where we want to go out for dinner, I usually make the boys a sandwhich, hot dogs, or noodles for them to eat before we leave. Not enough to fill them up, but enough that they are not overly hungry while waiting. Then they either share 1 kids meal or they share ours. Most restuarants will split the kids meal, before it even comes out to the kids. This way they get to eat and so do we. We do bring little toys to keep them occupied, but as long as they aren't straving they usually do pretty well.

Good Luck.

I have a lot of questions for you. First of all what time of day do you try to take the kids out? Most restaurants completely over stimulate our kids. Between the music and level of activity it is almost an impossible situation for them. I am guessing that at home they do not have the level of stimuli that they get in a restaurant. Do you go directly to more sophisticated places or are we talking pizza parlors. Eating out is a training process. I would highly recommend spending a number of home meals practicing what to do in a restaurant, then go to a pizza hut or like environment in off hours to continue the training setting your young ones up for success. 1.5 is very young to be trying to manage a restaurant environment under any circumstances. I didn't start taking my children to restaurants until they were at least 3. (other than McD's) Another piece of advice I have for you is that it is important to make sure you have a reservation, and that the children do not spend a lot of time waiting. Go online and research their menu. decide what you are going to have prior to getting to the restaurant and that will downsize the amount of time the children need to be entertained before their food arrives.

Everyone had such great advice, so I'm mainly going to add one thing: hang in there, hang in there, hang in there! I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old and we have been taking them to restaurants from very early on. It's silly not to (although somedays, it may not be the most relaxing choice!) Just know that there are stages in their lives that it's harder because of where they are developmentally (my daughter has done much better since turning 2) and that children are going to feed off of each others' behavior (good and bad). My husband started the "What was your favorite part of the day?" routine at dinnertime and even my youngest would enjoy babbling to us about it when it was her turn. If the kids start really getting antsy, we take one or both to wash their hands. Even a quick change of scene helps a lot. We're often more critical of our own kids than others are. I can't tell you how many times people have complimented me on my childrens' behavior when I was feeling like I should crawl into a hole. It will get easier, I promise you! Hang in there, you're doing great!

Sorry, but we had to wait until they were older. We have a backpack we bring to restaurants that has Color Wonder coloring books and markers, regular crayons and coloring books. We used to bribe them for good behaviour they would get dessert. We had to wait until they were 3 and 5.