I have an 8yr old boy who has been having a major attitude problem within the last year and a half. If you tell him no he throws a big fit and screams he hates you and says you are mean. I have taken things away from him, punished him in the corner but that does not seem to help. We have an appt with his doctor and am going to see a therapist next year about his anger problems. Please tell me that I am not the only one going through this? I do not think it is ADHD because he can sit still and watch TV and plays video games for hours if you let him. We think he has anger problems. HELPPPP!!!!!!
Well, maybe it is ADHD, like all are saying not to rule it out. He bounces off of the furniture, the bed, or anything he can find. The big problem I think is telling him No or he can't do something he wants to. That is when he makes up excuses like, he is hungry, has to go to the bathroom, he is thirsty, etc. It is driving me nuts. I have started yelling at everyone, even my 21mth old son which I don't mean to. I have no patience left. Hopefully the appointment with the doctor will help. Crossing fingers and toes.
Is he having trouble in school also? You could always try the school psychologist and see if he/she could give suggestions to help if you need help between now and the doctor's appointments. The seem to be willing to help at my school.
HI L.,
I don't know how much this will help you but I have a four year old who is going through the same thing.My mother trys telling me that it's early psycho killer disease but it is just something that they are going through.I mean look at what you have been through.Life hasn't exactly been easy for any of you.Sometimes no matter how strong we try to be for our children we just dont seem to be strong enough.Therapy probably wouldn't be a bad idea for your son not because there is something wrong with him but because maybe it will help him better understand what happened to him and what he can do about his feelings.
Good luck,
S.
I would definitely get him to a behavior therapist, and have him tested for behavior problems. Anger issues are not generally associated with ADHD, but just because he can sit and watch tv for hours and play video games would not mean that he doesn't have it, most children with ADHD can do that, it is when they get in school or social situations that they start having trouble. however he sounds like he is acting out for some reason and you probably just need to get him in therapy. If it happened around 1-1/2 years ago that would be around when Katrina hit, and maybe something happened and he is acting out because of that. so I definitely think that the therapy thing is a good idea. I wish you and your family the best.
Hi L.-
Your problem sounds a lot like my friend's problem. Her 6 yr old son has ADHD and ODD. I'm not exactly sure what it means, but it is some type of difiance disorder. He gets very angry for no reason and lashes out at his parents, particularly when his ADHD medication wears off. She has just taken him to the dr again and has prescribed Seraquil which is an antipsychotic. But, don't be scared by that. Antipsychotic are not "crazy" drugs. She said that this drug helps him sleep, which he has had serious problems with.
This is just another idea. I would still take him to the therapist because he might also have issues concerning Katrina and having to leave Louisiana (the timing is about right).
I hope you find out what's going on.
N.
WELL I THINK SINCE U HAVE BEEN PREGNANT AND NOW HAVE HAD THE BABY HE FEELS LEFT OUT SO WHAT U HAVE TO DO IS PLAY SOME GAMES WITH HIM STUFF HE LIKES INSTEAD OF LETTIN HIM WATCH TV OR PLAY THE GAME OR EVEN WATCH TV OR PLAY THE GAME WITH HIM HE JUST WANTS SOME ATTENTIONSO SIT HIM DOWN AND ASK HIM WHAT CAN U DO TO HAVE FUN WITH HIM TALK TO HIM SHOW A LITTLE MORE ATTENTION NOW HE JUST FEEL LEFT OUT SINCE THE BABY HAS BEEN BORN SO ASK HIM TO HELP WITH THE BABY DO THINGS TOGETHER AS A FAMILY EVEN WITH THE BABY PRETEND THAT THE BABY CAN PLAY THE GAME WITH U GUYS SEE IF THAT WORKS
WELL I HAVE TWO LITTLE ONES BUT I HELP RAISE MY NEPFEWS THAT R NOW 9 AND 10
Hi. I'm born and raised in Chalmette, LA. So I know what you mean. I miss home though. I moved away just before the hurricane when my husband transferred. About your son. My little brother is 8 also, and has the same sort of problem. I havn't lived at home with him in 2 years, but from what I hear, on the phone and what my mom tells me, he still has the same sort of fits and shouts and no matter how she punnishes him, he keeps coming back with more. About the ADD or ADHD, he could have it. It's easy for them to sit and play games and things they enjoy, but what about when it comes to school work or chores? The problem is their minds wander and they become so preoccupied with something else, even if it's just a little stray thought that crosses their mind. (my mom, me, my older brother, and now my little brother all showed signs of ADD, but my mom is only thinking about getting my brother tested now. It took her a while to let the idea sink in) Also though. When she took him to see his doctor, she suggested getting his tonsils out. He has very enlarged tonsils which cause open mouth breathing, and poor sleep, which in turn makes him tired and needless to say cranky. Maybe have his doctor check him out. My mom has decided that if the tonsils out doesn't improve him situation, she gonna see about teh ADD. And there could be other things, but those are just things I have experienced. Hope i've helped at least a little. I know this got long. GOod luck.
Hi L.,
I can sympathize with you all the way on this one! My son went through the same thing. I had to have him evaluated because he failed 1st grade. It wasnt because he didnt understand the work, it was due to his lack of ability to pay attention and get his work done. One thing that ADD/ADHD children prefer to do IS watch tv and play video games. This is because with the pictures changing so fast, it actually keeps their attention. I, personally, would have him evaluated and talk to his dr about the issue. I know it is hard to think of putting your son on medication, but there are other ways to treat these conditions if in fact they find he does have one of them.
Another possibility is that your son may be acting out because of the baby. I went through that too! A baby (or toddler) takes a lot of attention and your son may feel like he is being forgotten or left out. If you are able to (and dont already) plan some mommy time with your older child. This would be a time to do something just with him and leave the baby with a sitter or your husband for an hour or two. Sometimes this can help tremendously. What I have done in this respect is when my son has a dr appointment, we play "hookie" the rest of the day and spend that time together. My youngest usually goes to her godmothers house and of course my oldest is still in school.
I wish you the best of luck with this trying time in your sons life.
YOU KNOW IN MY EXPERIENCE AS A PRESCHOOL TEACHER WHEN A NEW BABY COMES AN CHILD ACTS OUT TO GET THE ATTENTION THEY USED TO HAVE. YOUR SON NEEDS EXTRA MOMMY TIME AND PRAISE HIM WHEN HE IS BEHAVING B/C WE S/TIME OVERLOOK THE GOOD BEHAVIOR B/C IT DOESN'T GET OUR ATTENTION AS MUCH AS BAD. WHEN HE IS WATHCING TV QUIETLY TELL HIM YOU LOVE TO SEE HIM LIKE THAT OR WHEN HE IS PLAYING NICELY WITH HIS SIBLING TELL HIM IT MAKES YOU HAPPY. HE IS ALSO OLD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TELL HIM YOU UNDERSTAND HE FEELS A LITTLE LEFT OUT AND ASK HIM WHAT ONE THING HE WOULD WANT YOU TO DO WITH HIM EVERYDAY YOU KNOW SPECIAL INDIVIDUAL TIME FOR HIM MAYBE AN HOUR AFTER THE BABY GOES TO BED PLAY A BOARD GAME AND SPECIFY THAT TIME JUST FOR HIM AND YOU WILL SEE IMPROVEMENT. ALSO KEEP CONSISTANT W/ YOUR PUNISHMENT JUST B/C IT DOESN'T WORK THE FIRST COUPLE OF TIMES DON'T STOP IT SEE WHAT REALLY SEEMS TO GET TO HIM AND DO IT EVERY TIME NO MATTER WHAT. ALSO DO A REWARD CHART FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR. LIKE A QUARTER JAR EVERY TIME HE DOES S/THING GOOD LIKE CLEAN HIS ROOM PUT A QUARTER IN THE JAR. AT THE END OF THE WEEK COUNT HIS QUARETRS AND TAKE TO THE DOLLAR STORE TO BUY WHAT HE WANTS WITH HIS MONEY AND IF HE MISBEHAVES TAKE A QUARTER AWAY. THIS IS THE BEST FOR OLDER CHILDREN B/C THEY UNDERSTAND THIS CONCEPT BETTER THAN TIME OUT OR TAKING TOYS AWAY. I HOPE MY ADVICE HELPS YOU OKAY.
Hi L.:
In my opinion as a mother of three (26,16,14) you could very possibly looking at a couple of different problems. First thing don't rule out ADHD. My 14 yr. old son was the very same way except for vocalizing his anger, he did it under his breath. The bad thing is my son was not diagnosed as ADHD until he was 12 years old. (junior high)My son could watch tv if it was something he was interested in and literally play video games all day long but it was because his brain could stay focused because of the action. Also, you could be dealing with a little depression because of the move. Just don't give up. When you see your doctor and if you are not satisfied see another one. I did. I seen our family doctor, a therapist and a psychiatrist. It wasn't easy because finding the right medicine and the right dosage at the right time was trial and error and can be very upsetting and a trying time. But when you find out what the problem is and find the right solution whether it therapy or medicine it will be worth it in the end.
Your family has been thru a lot and maybe he just ain't adjusting to the changes very well. And maybe it is just a phase he is going thru. That hopefully he will outgrow soon.
You might also want to look at his friends to see if they have any thing that might influence his behavior.
And just in case you don't know by now, you are the meanest parent in the world, to hear your son say it. Just like I am the meanest mother in the world to hear my son say it. and just like my mother was the meanest mother in the world when things didn't go my way as a child. (just thought i would throw a little humor in there.)
Good luck. and just don't give up.
It sounds like maybe he could be having problems from the move. Has his problem been going on since you moved up here? Maybe he hasn't adjusted well with the move.
I feel for you L., it must be the age! My son is also 8 and the exact same way, I had him in therapy and it was determend that it is NOT ADHD. We've tried different ways to control his anger and so far running laps around the house or having him rip up a few pieces of paper seems to be working for him. As far as his schooling, it's a constant battle w/ homework and I just don't have an answer for that, sorry.
~D.
Hi L.,
Your son has been through alot with relocation, making new friends and he is probably not adjusting well. As for the misconception about ADHD, a child with ADHD can sit for a period of time if they are doing what they like. There nonfocusing is when it is a structure surrounding and is not to their interest. I know this because my son is ADHD. As for behavior problems, it is not just discipline that works you got to know why he is acting out. Did something happen at school or at home that he is not telling. It is good that you are seeking help before the problem becomes worse. I know it is nice to have your children watch TV and play video games, but try to limit the times. Too much can be unhealthy. Sign you child up in communities activities. It will help build his self-esteem, and he will learn to work with a team. The Boys and Girls club is excellent. Good Luck.
