Best Time to Put Baby down to Sleep for the Night?

Many moms that I have talked to swear by the book the Contented Baby. Sounds rigid at first but gives a lot of great advice! Seen it in action with friends kids and really works! I am just about to be a mom and look forward to trying out the schedules as a guideline. Worth taking a look. I ordered my book online and read it about 3 times just to really understand the rationale behind the authors thinking.

HI E.,
My daughter is also an exclusivly breastfeed 3 month old. She has her last feeding between 8:30 and 9:30, goes to bed around 10 and sleeps until 6:00 am. I think they sleep through the night when they are ready and it does not matter when they go down. My older daughter started sleeping through the night at two months old from 6 to 6. Each little one is differnt.

Put your baby down when he wants to - i.e., just keep doing what you're doing. All babies are different. There's no such thing as the "right" time that works for all babies, just like adults are different.

Hi E., All I can say is that your baby's sleeping patterns will change about a zillion times in his first year! My now 8-month old went through several stages - for instance he's been sleeping through the night for a few months but just started waking up again because of teething/sitting up on his own. It's ever-evolving! But as far as bedtimes, my son started out going to bed late too and he just naturally developed earlier and earlier bedtimes. So I'd just go with what works and trust that he will signal to you what he needs. Enjoy these precious months!

E.,
I've gotten so much different information, but the stuff that makes the most sense to me is to not expect more than 5 hours when your baby 'sleeps through the night'.

Breastmilk digests much faster than formula and solid food.

What I do is put him down just as he's starting to get tired - I nurse him to sleep. He wakes generally in 3-4 hours, and because he is teething, sometimes more often than that.

La Leche and other sites out there (I wish I had them handy for you!) mention that they are less concerned with sleeping solid through the night (and very concerned with a baby that sleeps too much!) and to expect that a baby will want food and comfort.

Above all, all babies are different.

I don't keep a schedule - my son goes down usually when he is most tired, and when we have to be out (for whatever reason) it means he is up for a bit later than most usual kids. Generally he sleeps 8-9 hours with an early nap.

Example: Last night he went to sleep earlier than usual, just before 8. He was up just after 5. He took a nap around 8.

I know this is probably not what you're looking for - but I've spent the wrong time this side of pregnancy finding out about sleeping issues. I should have looked all this up before hand - but then I figured I knew what I needed to know then. HA!

Mostly, this is what works for us. I think if I kept him to a schedule, it would cut out Daddy time (2nd shift) one way or the other.

Good Luck,
Let me know what you decide,
M.

I'm a stay at home mom too. My baby is also exclusively breastfed. When my daughter was around the same age as your son I asked my mom friends when I should start instituting a bedtime. No one said there was an real time. It just ended up kind of happening on its own. The baby seemed to mature and get into a more regular rhythm of sleep. Because she was breastfed she ate every 2 hours. So a bedtime seemed almost silly when she was so young. Anyway, she started going to sleep for longer stretches and I put her to bed around the 9:30pm mark, but that didn't give me and my husband any time to ourselves. I slowly started to push back the time a half hour to 45 min. each night till she was going down at 7pm. It's great. By that time she's ready. We have our routine...bath, then bed. If I try to keep her up past that now, boy does she notice. She still doesn't sleep through the night though. She eats every four hours at least. We've just started food and last night she slept 8 hours. Sleeping through the night will come in time. At least being a stay at home mom to one child (like me) affords the luxury of such things. Good luck!

We definitely put our daughter down at 7/7:30 starting around 6 weeks. Before then, we were just nursing around the clock. I think you'll have to back up your bedtime in 15 minute intervals every 4 days. I read that more than 15 minutes is a significant change in their routine and can make it hard. However, if your boy is sleeping through the night 9/9:30pm -9am, that is a solid 12 hours and that is great! Assuming he's taking good naps during the day, it seems like you've picked a routine that works for you and keeps him getting his good rest.

PS - I should also note that I'm a working mom, so it was important for me to wake up and breastfeed my daughter. So, we set her wake up time for 7am. Unfortunately, we're up at 7am all weekend too. But, that is what worked for us!

Hi,
I remember putting my boy to sleep at 7pm and trying to establish a firm nap/ bedtime rutine at around 3-4 months, It worked for us to have this consistancy and also gave my husband and I some time to hang out after he went to sleep. He was exclusively BF. He still woke every 2-4 hours at times but also occasionally made it to 5 or 6 hours.( Sleep patterns will continue to shift and change as they go through milestones, so dont get too attached). At this early stage I say: Do what works best for you and your baby, you definetly dont want to compromise your sleep . maybe try the new early bedtime for 3-4 days and see if your babe can adjust to it, we ended up tweaking the time by half hours earlier or later, depending on his level of exhaustion. the reason for the earlier bedtime has something to do with not having them get overtired which makes it even harder for them to sleep. I was not a believer in "cry It out" so it took quite a while for my boy to establish longer sleeping patterns. now that he is 16 months, I do let him cry for a few minutes here and there if he wakes up continually, sometimes he just needs to release tension and it helps to get him back to sleep. At three months, they still often need to be nursed at night so go with your instincts.
good luck,
Julia

I think it is whatever works for you and your family.

For us, we starting with both kids by putting them down at 11:00 at night when they were four months old and sleep training them to sleep through the night from 11 - 6 or 7. They would have a late nap somewhere between 6 and 7 for a couple of hours, but I limited it so they were up for at least two hours before the 11 bedtime. Then over time we started to pull that bedtime further back until eventually they went to sleep at 7 and slept until 6 or 7 in the morning. It worked pretty well for us because I needed a good stretch of sleep in the middle of the night.

I know others who have had real success by doing the 7 bedtime and then just slowly eliminating the wake-ups in the middle of the night.

Hope it goes well! Good luck.

Experts, smexperts!
You are the expert when it comes to your child. If he sleeps better for you going to bed late...don't mess with it.

Nanc

* The time a baby is born is usually the time they like to go to slep. Don't ask me why, but my daughter ws born at 10pm and that's her bedtime.

I let my daughter, now 7 mo. take the lead on this. In the beginning she would go down for her longest stretch at 10pm and then one day she switched things up and went down around 7:30 and slept till 4am. After about a month of this, she quit waking at all until 7am. Though she went through a bout where she was waking in the night to feed she has maintained a bedtime of 7pm and is back to sleeping for ten hours straight. As long as it works for you, go with it.

Hi, I think what you're doing is perfectly fine. Before my son started eating solids I would actually wake him at 10pm (he'd fall asleep around 8:30 and we'd keep him in his bouncy until 10) and nurse him and put him down for the night. He'd usually wake around 3:30, or not until 7 am, we've been very lucky with our kids and sleeping. I truly don't think the earlier you put to bed the longer they're going to sleep, especially when very young. My experience has been the earlier to bed the earlier to rise for babies. Hope this helps.

I'm no doctor and I'm a first time mom, but what we did was put him to bed let's say at 9:30 and as he began sleeping longer we backed the time up. So, we'd try 9 for a few days, when he adjusted, we'd try 8:30. We did this until he slept through from 7 to 7. When your son is sleeping through the night, he should be in bed around 7ish. That is what all the research says. Hope that helps.

Call your doctor and talk this over with him/her as they will explain what is best for your baby in terms of sleep and feeding times.

I think you should do what is best for you now. You can always tweak it to suit your needs as your baby gets older. If you get better sleep putting him down later, go for it.

My son always went to bed late when he was a baby, because that is the way our life was set-up. By late I mean around 10:00.
Now, he is 4 and he goes to sleep at 7:30!! He no longer naps during the day, and by 7:30 he is wiped out and ready for bed.

Things will change as he gets older and sleeps for longer clips at night, and shorter naps during the day. Also, when he starts solids you'll notice a change. Just listen to him, and follow his clues.

Congratulations on exclusively breastfeeding! Good Job, Mom!
Best of luck to you and your little guy.

I think you were doing just fine. If your new schedule is not working stick to what worked best for you. Everything is trial and error, not all children are the same. I put my son down between 8:00 - 9:00. Good Luck! :)

My son did EXACTLY the same thing. I put him to sleep between 9 and 10 after a nice long feeding. Expect a growth spurt from now till 4 months and that will throw everything off even worse. Just give him what he needs for now and he will start to sleep longer. Also, at 4 months he may want to start rice. That can add a little time to sleep but your baby has to be ready. Once I knew his growth spurt was over (it doesn't last that long) I would feed him if he woke up after 4 hours but not before. We was starting to wake out of habit and I let him cry while shhhhing him. He only cried for 5 minutes, then 1 minute, then for like a second. Then a few days later, not at all. But I wouldn't try it unless I knew that he was done growing. I stay at home with my son too and breastfeed him. He went from what you describe to now sleeping 6-8 hours then 3-4 for a total of 9-11 hours consistently with one feeding in between. Make sure he is sleeping in a crib or pack and play though. Also, you can nurse him, but make sure that he is putting himself to sleep. I know its hard.

My 5 month old usually goes to bed around 6:30-7pm. This is due to her not wanting to take any real naps during the day. But she does get up once around 1-3 for a feeding. Then she is usually up around 7am with my 2 yr old. My girls go to bed early only because I work early and I have to get them up for the sitter.
I would say if you want for your baby to start going to bed earlier then start slow. Move bed time up 15-30 minutes from the normal time. Do it for about a week or so then move it ahead again.

I'm no expert, since I am a new mom of a 2 1/2 month-old daughter, but what I have noticed is that babies will sleep as long as they are going to sleep no matter what time you put them to bed. My daughter has been sleeping 6 hours/night for over 6 weeks now (I know I"m extremely lucky!) no matter what time I put her to bed. She usually goes to bed around 11 but if she seems really tired earlier I put her to bed earler. She still sleeps 6 hours, wakes up for a snack, then goes back to sleep for another 1-3 hours. There have been a few nights that she skipped that snack and slept 9 hours. That usually happens when she hasn't napped much during the day. I would say to do what is right for you and your baby.

First, putting him to bed earlier isnt going to make him sleep through the night. Both my kids were always put to bed by 7:30 and neither one slept through until between 7 and 9 mos. Second, expecting a 3 mo old breastfed baby to sleep through the night is a BIG expectation. Their stomaches are only the size of their fist so they don't hold all that much, and breast milk is digested much faster then formula. So sleeping through the night isn't something you should expect for a long time. As a matter of fact lots of breastfed babies don't sleep though the night until they are older then 1. This is what I did and it helped me catch some much needed zzz's. When the bab wakes at night bring him into bed with you. Lay on your side and put him on his side so your tummy to tummy. Let him latch on and nurse while you go back to sleep. It helps alot. When he's done he'll stop and you can either move him or let him be. I used a pack and play set up on my side of the bed so that my kids were close by for those night time feedings.

I fed every 2 - 2 1/2 hrs during the day, so at night one feeding was well tolerated..

What I did that worked like a charm was as soon as I figured out that he could sleep a good 8 hours before waking up,,, I figured why am i putting him down for 6 just to wake up at 2 or 3 am cause he's hungry..i don't want to wake up at 3a.m. so I put him down at 6, then right before I went to bed usually 10-11 pm, I got him up to feed him, sometimes he woke up sometimes he didn't, but I kept everything dark and super quiet, I didn't talk to him much just a little soothing I fed him and put him back to bed, he was back to sleep in no time and didn't wake til morning.. i got a full nights sleep!! yahooo <and he still got his 12 hours> As he got a little older i switched to a bottle btwn 10 -11 pm, keptit nice and boring, so he wouldn't get any bright ideas about waking up for the almighty boob. Good Luck

Do what ever allows you to get the best night sleep. From the beginning I put my son down later like you and slept a little later in the morning. My son is now 20 months old and goes to bed anywhere between 8:30 and 9:30 at night - in the morning he sleeps until 8:30 - 9 AM. I personally love his schedule. If you are a stay at home mother this works great - if you have to leave your baby in a day care and get to work on time then you would obviously need to get your baby up earlier - hence an earlier bedtime. If later works for you then go with it. There are no set rules.

Hey mama,

You're doing a great job! When it comes to sleep, do what works for all of you. Our DD (2.5 years) has been sleeping through the night since she was 2 months...boy did we luck out! She doesn't have a regular bedtime. She goes to bed when we go to bed which is anywhere from 9 - midnight. She has slept in her own room since she was a month old (slept better that way) and never fights bedtime. She takes a 3 hour nap during the afternoon.

We farm and if I put her to bed at a "normal" hour, she would go weeks without ever seeing her father as he's out of the house by 5:30 in the mornings and doesn't get home generally until 10 at night. He works 7 days a week so, for now, having her stay up late is what works.

When she was the age of your son she took 3 two hour naps a day and slept from about 11pm to 5am. She was EBF as well. Each kid is different though so if it works with your lifestyle just follow your babys lead!

Kate

I am a first time Mom of a breast fed 6 month old. My husband and I went back and forth about putting our baby girl down in her crib at 6:30 starting when she was 3 months. At that time she was sleeping in our bedroom in her bouncy chair which seemed to be the only place she would fall asleep. She averaged about 3 to 4 hours a night then would wake up ever 2 hours following that. My husband purchased a book called "the sleepeasy solution". After reading that he was determined to put her in her crib at 6:30 and going with the tough love approach. She would scream and fuss and the book instructed us to check on her and tell her that it was OK to go to sleep and that we know that she is tired but we were neve allowed to comforted her by touch. Day by Day her crying (what seemed like screaming due to the guilt) got shorter and shorter until there was none (about 2 weeks). From that first night on she slept about 10- 12 hours a night. I suggest if you are going to try it be willing to give Tough Love a try. As hard as it is it is well worth it in the end.

My daughter is 10 months and she goes to sleep at 8 everynight and wakes up at 7:30 8 every morning. when she was 5 months old she would wake up every morning at 2 A.M. I would always give in and go in there and give her a bottle. Then she would go back to sleep. It was like this for about a month. One day i just let her scream one night. It killed me but i did it. after 3 days of her screaming. She has been sleeping 12 hours everynight now since she was 6 months. I love it. It gives me and my husband some time to sleep.

P.S. This is what i do i feed my daughter a snack at 7 p.m. and at 8 i bring her upstairs i give her a stuffed animal and then i give her a 4 ounce bottle. i put her mobile on and i leave the room. she falls asleep about 10 minutes after that and dosen't wake up untill 11 hours later. try that see what happens. i hope this works.
Good Luck
D.

G

Hey E.,

There is nothing wrong with want you are doing. It sounds like you and baby have a rhythm that works for both of you. My daughter is 4 1/2 months and around your son's age she naturally started to "drop" nighttime feedings. She now sleeps from 9:30 p.m. to 6:30 a.m. STRAIGHT!

Keep doing what you're doing. He knows what is best for him.

I.

I have a 10 week old son, who is formula fed. He goes to bed around 9:30-10:00 and we also start the day around 9:00. I usually wake him for feeding around midnight and 5:30 am. What I've read is that we (the parents) need to begin to identify the child's sleeping times and start creating good sleep habits. Given that I'm not adjusting his schedule just yet. I'm just glad for the 5 hours that I'm getting.

Hi E.
So many ways to look at this question, and I think the bottom line is that your baby will do whatever he is programmed to do by his DNA.
My son is hard pressed to sleep past 6:30 AM and only recently has been doing so inconsistently. From infancy he tended to arise at 5 AM regardless when we put him in to sleep . So I just put him in at 6:30 'til he was about 2 and then slowly made it later. He was going to bed at 7:30 for the most part between the ages of 4 and 7 years, and pretty much was a "good sleeper," sleeping thru the night from the age of about 8 months (6:30 PM to 5 AM).
When I heard people say they put their baby/child to bed at 9 PM I was appalled because I thougth they couldn't be getting enough sleep, and their parents had no time to themselves. Ha! If you are a night owl, chances are so will your progeny and if they stay up 'til 10 you are probably up 'til at least 1 AM. So what the heck!
You have to try 7:30 for at least a week to see if it helps, but I suspect you have a little night owl and you are wasting your time. The real question is what do you do when he wakes up every 2 hours--do you go in or do you give him a chance to put himself back to sleep? You shouldn't be going in to "help" him back to sleep, only if you think he is hungry and need to feed him. If you are pretty sure he isn't hungry, he just has developed a lousy habit that you are going to have to break. That may mean a few tears while he figures out you aren't picking him up at 1 AM. Give him a pat pat if it makes you feel better but don't pick him up to rock him back to sleep--he needs to learn how to do that himself or he'll be chronically sleep deprived.
you need to decide whether you are a Ferber person or whoever is the latest fad, but ultimately you gotta go with your own guts. If you don't believe in crying it out, don't do it. If you believe in communal bed--go for it. But whatever you do, you should look at your own sleep habits and work around those hours and you will probably be right on the money!