Birth Control for My 16 Year Old Daughter.

Take her to a gynecologist and let the GYN ask & answer her questions. The doc will know whether she actually needs it for her periods. Certainly, you are aware if she has painful and/or irregular periods or has severe PMS - those are most likely the only reasons she would need it for her periods. If she has normal periods then she is most likely asking for it for sex - the period excuse is a good cover up. This is a tough time - good luck mom!

definitely take her to an obgyn and get as much info as possible to help her find the pill that is right for her. Even if she is lying to you and she is thinking about sex then at least she is showing some sort of responsibility by asking for birth control. Knowing that this is something that she could have done on her own at a clinic especially for teens, I say bravo to you for raising a daughter that felt that she could come to you.

Yes, let her start the pill. Hopefully she is being honest with you and then when she does become sexually active, you do not have to worry about helping her with a newborn. I actually went behind my parents back and went to planned parenthood to get the pill and I was also not sexually active. I had the worst periods ever with heavy bleeding and all of my friends said that would help. It was like a miracle. When i was ready-much later-I didn't have to worry about a baby. Still talk to her about condom use etc. Good luck!

I would take her to an Ob/Gyn or a midwife for her first exam (if she has not had one yet). This is a decision that needs to be made by her and her health care provider. As much as I understand that you want to be involved, I strongly believe that a 16 year old has a right to privacy when it comes to medical issues.

I also think that you should consider yourself very lucky that she came to talk to you. You did a great job raising her!

Before I forget, my sister had a baby at 16... if there is even a shred of a possibility that she might be interested in sex, do not walk RUN to the doctor and put her on birth control. Even if you talk yourself silly about her being too young, she WILL have sex if she wants to and she WILL get pregnant if she is not protected. Saying that putting her on BC will encourage her having sex is BS. If she wants to have sex she will do it BC or not - even if you close your eyes and ears and tell yourself it's not happening.

Good luck!

Make sure she knows that you will not judge her either way. It is a great person that can be responsible enough to know that she needs help. My daughter and I both had periods from hell and we got our progesterone (the hormone that controls PMS and other period stuff) tested and it was extremely low. Our periods were evened out after we had taken it for about a month. Most birth control pills have progesterone in them and that is why they do so good at controlling cramping and other period issues. If you can get her to talk about the real reason, then you can decide which medicine is best for her. If she does need it for birth control then I think I would put my daughter on the birth control shot. You might want to talk to a doctor about this. Be sure to reinforce that she is becoming a very responsible adult and you appreciate the fact that she came and talked to you. Remember 16 is young to have sex but you could be raising a young 16 year old mother!!

If your sixteen year old is being mature and responsible enough to ask for birth control, help her get it. You might not be ready for her to be sexually active, and your conversation with her can and should reflect your values. But the long and short is it would be much better to support her getting birth control then support her raising a baby. Good luck.

I say yes. She came to you and asked. If it's for her period, great. If she's already sexually active or planning to become sexually active and is affraid to tell you, at least she's protecting herself. Make sure she has all the information she needs....the other posters have given you some great advice. Congratulations for having such a great relationship with your daughter.

Good luck!

If she asked you, yes, I would put her on it. I would also have the talk anyway. Some good resource material out there is a video put out by interlinc ministries called "The Naked Truth" I was sent one for my Sunday school class, and there were things on it that I didn't know! It is very straightforward and not preachy. I watched it with all three of my kids and was not embarrassed. Other resources are "The silver Ring Thing," And a book called "Lies Young Women Believe."
You can't stop her from having sex, but you can educate her on making right and informed decisions. She will love you for it later in life!

I wouldnt, but only because it introduces extra hormones and I'm never sure that's a good thing. It can also cause weight gain and mood swings and many other things. You should instead encourage her to track her period, so that she can tell when her cycle is naturally, and see if she really would even need the pill. Many times girls will want to go on it because it's "cool" and "all the other girls are doing it", when they dont really need it.

But talking to a gyno might help also. I'm not one, obviously, but keep in mind that they promote that stuff in their waiting rooms, which means they probably get a percentage for referring people to them.

And if she really is wanting to have sex, I would encourage the condom, whether she's on the pill or not. STDs are no ones friend, and you cant trust guys.

I like Carrie P's idea, but I also agree that it should be discussed further as to why she wants it. I totally understand wanting it for other reasons, period issues, acne, ect.
I also applaud your open relationship with your daughter. I know I can NEVER talk to my mom about things like this. About two months before my first period, she and I went on a car ride and she told me women start to bleed in their panties and that's normal and when it happens come and tell her. When I got my first period she said "Congratulation! You're a woman now." That's all she EVER told me about anything. When it came to the sex talk it was "Do you know how girls get pregnant?" Me, "yesish." Her, "good." and walked off. So I am rather jealous of any great mother/daughter communication.

I would do what the others said...set up an appointment with an OB/GYN. When you set it up make sure your doctor knows why you are making the appointment. Make sure your doctor explains that if your daughter is going to have sex to use condoms too. Not to scare you but I got pregnant while on birth control so I'm proof that there is 1 percent of the time that these things don't work! Also, and my doctor did this with me when I was 17 and going on the pill, make sure the doctor send you out of the room, or ask to wait outside toward the end of the appointment. While it sounds like you and your daughter have a great relationship, she may not want to tell you everything and this will make it easier for her to talk to the doctor. She will be able to sign a confidentiality notice about what information they are allowed to tell you as the parents, and hopefully she won't mind if you know everything.

better safe then sorry. but please stress safety. birth control doesn't prevent sexually transmitted dieseases. the guy must protect himself and her. that is his responability in all of it. birth control helps the chance of babies only. condoms help with the latter. good luck, R.

I would emphasize to her that bc pills have risks such as possible STDs ( if used for sex purposes), certain types of cancers, & blood clots. I would back up from any stmts of when I feel is the appropriate time to discuss bc. Truth is the developin child makes that call. Givin bc pills does not give children permission to have sex. Your communications, value systems, lack of supportive relationships, etc gives those permissions. It sounds as if she is well aware of your value sys & knows if she decides to engage in sexual activity, it is not with your permission. But as former children ourselves, we know that we engaged in activities without our parent's permission just because. So take any thoughts of your agreeing to allow her to use bc pills for periods or sex as permission. That is not the issue. The issue is your child's health. I would take my daughter to the Gyn for an exam & to discuss the various options, their benefits, & risks. I would then try to guide her to the healthiest decision. But it must be her decision, her well informed decision. Good luck!

Good for you guys! You have the type of relationship where she can come talk to you! My oldest daughter had the periods from hell! You would cry take a ton of pamperin and sometimes even vomit! It took me awhile to convience my husband she needed to be on birth control. He had the whole "we are telling her it is O.K. to have sex" feeling. After speaking to his mother who also had these awful periods he realized his daughter was suffering and it was EVERY month. We spoke to doctor and he explained birth control is basicully homomone therapy. We had to try a couple of different types before we found the one that worked the best. She ended up going with the depo shot. She feels SSSOOO much better! I know people agree disagree because of the whole sex thing.
Let's say she suffered with chronic migraines would you not want to help her? My daughter is 19 now and was put on bc at the end of her 15th year. She is still a virgin she saw it as a medical relief not a license to have sex. Sounds like your daughter feels the same way. To be honest not many of us were virgins when we married so I also have the piece of mind IF she does have sex we won't have to deal with a pregnancy too! Good luck!

I'm sorry if I repeat anything. I went on BC at the age of 15 and did not have sex until I was 18. Just because I was on BC did not give me a reason to have sex. I went on it to ease the pain from my period. I talked to my mom about this and then I discussed it with my doctor. Good luck with whatever decision the two of you make.

YES!! Even if she is sexually active now and just not sharing that info with you, it is better for her to be on the pill. She does need you to talk to her about STDs and how the pill does not prevent them. From my experience, unfortunately, most 16 year olds are sexually active or soon will be.

You're so lucky that your daughter is willing to come and talk to you about this subject, whether it's because of her periods or because she may be thinking about becomming sexually active in the future. Take this opportunity to discuss as much as you possibly can with her.

As far as "should I let her start the pill?", I would take her to a gyn and the 3 of you can discuss which options are best for her.

YES PUT HER ON IT!!!! If shes asking shes done her research. I had horrible periods from the time i started until i was 16 and got the pill, it helped soooo much with the cramps! Plus you have the added protection if she is having sex this will help. I must say tho waiting until shes sexual active is too late to be talking to her about sex and birth control

Kudos to you for having the open communication that your daughter would come to you. I certainly hope my daughter appreciates the non judgmental communication she has with me.

I know my daughter, at 15, is ok with her cycle but about once every 6 months, I have to take her out of school it is so bad. We are not talking about bc for periods right now but it is an option down the road.

Again, forget the negative responses you receive here....you do what is right for you and your daughter. You've already shown that you have the open door to communication. So many children do not have that. Good luck

The hormones in birth control pills can have many effects, including some bad ones. It's not a decision to be made lightly -- some birth control can cause blood clots to form that may be deadly, and the longer you're on birth control, the more the effects can build up and cause problems.

You need to find out what she means that she "wants it for her period" -- is she having painful and problematic periods that BCPs can help clear up? She may need them. Is she just wanting to go on BC so she can take that kind of pack that will only allow her to have one period every 3-4 months? I'd personally be extra cautious of that kind since it's so new and there are no long-term studies in humans. Quite frankly, I wonder if some of the high rates of breast cancer and other female cancers that we currently have are due to the old birth control pills women started taking in the 50s and 60s -- with hormone amounts that we now know were astronomically high!

Whatever your decision, and whatever the outcome of your discussion with your daughter, you need to make an informed decision because every medication has side effects.

Okay here is the thing....she came to you! That should make you happy. I have told my girls that will soon be 16 that if they could absolutely not wait till they were married please come to me because I do not want them to have babies so young. I told them I would not be happy but I would help them take care of getting the pill. That is not saying that I will be allowing them to use their room for something that I don't agree with in the first place. She may want it for her period. Some pills make you have only 4 a year, some 3 a year and the depo shot can stop it completely. It did for me. The bad news is the side effects and I would make sure she knows. They can cause weight gain and vericose veins. If you decide to take her to the doctor please make sure they explain the side effects to her. Also make sure you tell her if she does have sex that she still needs to use a condom because the pill does not protect her from all the nasty diseases out there. You should tell her about that also even if she is saying it is only for her period.

Yes, because sooner or later, she is going to need it. I consider it to be a preemptive strike. Plus, if she starts taking it now, later on down the road, when she is having sex, she'll be more likely to remember to take it. Allowing her to be on the pill isn't like hanging an open for buisness sign around your daughter's neck, its just smart parenting, for everyone involved.

Hi Victoria,

Your daughter wants to have a open dialogue about this subject. Young children these days are into much more than sex- intercourse. You need to openly talk about Oral Sex, STDs , safe sex, and peer pressure etc Please ask more about what she is feeling, her school environment and know about the friends she is hanging out with.

Being on the pill might help her with the menstrual cramps etc, but the bigger thing to focus on is to have a conversation about Sex. Please seek some help about how you can discuss this without both of you being embarressed. There are plenty of books that can help, a good show for reference can be Dr. Dru's " Sex...with Mom and Dad" on MTV.

Hope this helps

N.

I think if she wants to get on it you should put her on it. When I was young I had horrible horrible cramps...like so bad I would have to miss school. And I loved school, had lots of friends and got good grades so for me to miss it really had to be that bad. Anyways once I was older and married I got on the pill and it helped so much. Cramps gone, nice light periods etc. I had asked my mom while in high school to put me on the pill but she didn't because she was afraid of me becoming sexually active but even now it still makes me mad. I think man just think of all the pain I wouldn't of had to go through if she would have taken me to the doctor. So anyways I think you should and just make sure you explain to her that this doesn't give her the green light for sex. Also explain to her about STD's so she knows that even on the pill when she is ready for sex she still needs to have the guy where a condom.

Hurray - What a great mom you must be to have raised such an intelligent daughter who knows she can come to her mom for help!

I would ask her if she felt comfortable allowing you to escort her to an "exploratory" type of appointment with your OBGYN. Then you can both air your concerns and questions in front of an impartial third party.

I would like to think I would say yes to my daughter's request if I were in your shoes...Though it would be uncomfortable and scary. I would also talk to her about condoms and seriously...They did this to incoming freshman when I was in college...Tell her you are gonna spend an hour google imaging STDs. Trust me - It is not pretty. And not because you want to scare her but because you do not want the pill to become a license to unprotected sex at any age - Not at 16 not at 18 not at 24.

I have boys but I am ready for this discussion and hope to frankly have it sooner rather than later. I just came back from a 19 yr old's baby shower...*sigh*. They have a long road ahead of them.

I vote yes. there are other reasons for birth control other than sex. and if she is using it for sex better safe than sorry. we all know what happens to 16 yr olds that get pregnant. when mine was 16 I showed him where the rubbers were and told him if he got down to one let me know. He never used them.

Well, my daughter isn't as old as yours, but when she started her period she was having very heavy periods and it was embarrassing for her at school. So, I made an appointment with an Ob/Gyn and we discussed different things and it was best that we put her on birth control pills. We did it so she would start her period on Fridays and that way she wouldn't have to go all week at school on her period. She was only on them for about a year and then we stopped it. Her periods are more regulated now and not as heavy and a PLUS, it also helped control her PMS mood swings. You can't be too careful. And as soon as I know that my daughter is having or thinking about having sex, I will put her butt on the shot, because I don't want my daughter to me a teen mom and just because she thinks she's in love, I don't want her making a mistake that will effect the rest of our lives. So better to be safe than sorry. Good Luck on your decision.
Also: FYI, She doesn't need to have a pelvic exam until she is 21 or having sex. But education on HPV vaccines and the condom talk to avoid STD's.

I would and plan to when and if my daughters ask... at least she is coming to you and not doing it behind your back. Also 16 is not as young as you think to be having sex (not saying she is) I am 19 and have a very wonderful life, but I do know that many of my friends started when they were 14! She could really need it for her periods like I do (sorry if thats TMI) but my ob pretty much made me bc of the problems I was having. It helps with a lot of hormonal and PMS symptoms. Just think if for some reason she decides to have sex and she is on it at least she is being safe... however remind her that even on the pill its not 100% effective. Sit her down and talk to her about it, I wish I had someone to talk to when I was her age.I got pregnant with my oldest when I was 16 and on the pill so like I said tell her its not always effective! I got lucky and her father and I are deeply in love and have another daughter together and been together about 5 years, but thats not how it always works! Just bc she wants the pill does not mean she is thinking of having sex! Just talk with her, but I would 1)bc she came to you adn didn't hide it 2) she might REALLY need it for her period expecially if you don't know how bad it is for her adn 3) just to be on the safe side! I know TOO many girls who didn't take it, got pregnant and are now raising a baby alone! Good luck and try not to worry sound like you got a great girl there :)

Being on the pill helped with my period so much. I tried going without it for about a year but I was bleeding all the time and it was very painful. If she really does want it for her period then I say go for it.

YES!! What bad can come of it? She has already decided she wants to be on it---for WHATEVER reason. If she wants it because she is/wants to be having sex, than give it to her!! If she wants it because of her period, give it to her. Of course talk to her about her age, sex, disease and pregnancy, but not giving it to her will not stop her from having sex if that is what she decides to do. She sounds like a mature young lady, so you probably should treat her as such--as difficult as that has to be.

Hormones are not that great for your body especially to take at such a young age and potentially for so many years. There is a lot of research on this. Teenagers also will feel "safe" on the pill and not worry about std's like they should. I would talk to her about condoms and have her see a good ob/gyn to discuss the effect of hormones and the need for pelvic exams once sexually active. Likely she is not going to tell you if she is thinking of sex and my guess is she IS thinking of sex. Time for some thorough education and if she were mine I would let her babysit some very young children for extended periods of time so that she could see how fun it really is! She is almost an adult and will make her own choices. Make sure she is prepared to do so in every aspect. A great book on health, hormones and nutrition is The Schwarzbein Principle. It helps a lot with hormonal imbalances in a healthy way.

PS Also I would not recommend the deprovera (progesterone) shot. Many women do not react well to it.

Can someone tell me; Why in our Modern Day and age and with all our technology..... There isn’t a Birth Control Pill for men!

It Is a very personal issue. Personally I would not place my daughter on any thing like that, She is not fully grown. I think it is a bad idea.

The pill didn't help my periods, but it does for a lot of people. But really, you can't decide when she'll have sex. Whether she wants the pill as birth control or for her periods, it's best to get it for her. Abstinence programs don't work, nor does keeping her from using birth control. If she's ready to have sex now or in 2 years, it's still better to have her on birth control, taking it correctly, and protected. Make sure you or her doctor/midwife teaches her how and when to take it and explains that it only protects against pregnancy and that she needs to use condoms as well.

Good Luck navigating this!!

your daughter is being responsible. trust her if she is a good kid . but also watch her because sometimes birth control can cause them mor trouble like bruising, and illness so just keep an eye on her. and besides we can't always be with our kids we need to trust them to do what is right.

I myself would definetly put her on the pill. You may think it is to young however the percentage of young pregnancies are high. I'm not saying that your daughter is sexually active. Once the two of you have come to an agreement regarding this, let her know that you are not doing this to give her permission to have sex. Peer pressure at school has alot to do with the asking as well and she probably feels that she isn't in with the in crowd so to speak because no doubt the girls' are all talking about it. It is my hope that she isn't already sexually active and let her know from you that if she is, to please talk to you about it. Let her know that your love for her will not change a thing. She needs to hear this from her mom as well as her mom being her friend. She was honest in asking so hopefully when that moment happens she will talk with you about it. Pls. don't forget to remind her of all of the disease's there are out there. There is STD, HIV,Clamidia,Aids and the list goes on. Let her know that you are on her side and your love for her is unconditional. I wish you lots of luck, I would have her have a full physical prior to going on the pill, this elimates alot, and the pill may not even agree with her. Their are so many strengths' out there now. Don't rag on her if you decide to do this or she may just do the wrong thing. Once its done, its done, other than asking her how she feels taking them. i.e. does she have any side effects, are they working well with her periods etc. I'm sure you get the picture. I wish you well, and good luck. If you do this for her, as well as the talks' she will have alot of respect for you, not just as a mom but as a friend to.

I think that the reason to be on birth control for her period is an excuse. At her age she should not be trying to alter or lessen her period. I would sit down with her and have a serious talk asking her if she has had sex and if she thinks she is going to have sex in the near future. Does she have a serious boyfriend? You need to have the talk about STDs too b/c if she is on the pill she will only be worried about getting pregnant and apparently not STDs. Maybe take her to the doctor or planned parenthood and let her talk to a professional, maybe watch a movie. Maybe get a book for her to read about this subject.

I would explain to her about having to get a pelvic exam and see if she is still willing. If it is not for her period and she is just saying that. Her not getting the pill is not going to stop her from having sex. So at least this way she will be protected from pregnancy. I think after hearing about a pelvic exam though... she may rethink it all.

I think you should talk to the dr together. My periods started when I was 12 and came every 3 weeks. I would have LOVED to have been on something to regulate that. I didn't even seriously think of having sex until I was 17 and didn't actually do anything until I was 20, so I don't agree with that other comment that she is definitely sexually active and using it for an excuse.
Good luck

I say yes also. My mother told me no and i was pregnant in my senior year. Not only did she say no to birth control, her and my dad took away condoms that i had in my closet. Talk about wrong parenting!

Please do watch her on the pill. I only took it for 3 months. I had terrible side effects.