Birth Control Poll

The Mirena IUD DOES contain hormones. They tell you only a small amount and I can tell that you've probably already looked up (especially in this blog) the side effects of it. Some women LOVE it, some HATE it, and some just live with the side effects.
The Paraguard IUD does not contain hormones. Something you might want to look in to.

You could try the nuva ring, I have had 4 male family members in the past year get a vasectomy. Not one had any sign effects. There are condoms, the mirena, (which cannot creats an oops). I was on the mirena and loved it...no pill to take, no ring to remove, no dealing with spermicide, no nothing. Good Luck

I stopped using the pill for the same reason, and we tried condoms for a while, but we hate them. Eventually my husband decided to get a vasectomy, because it was simpler and less risky than if I got "fixed." If you get a really good doctor, the risks are minimal. Our doctor explained that a lot of the issues men report are actually just a coincidence because of the age of men that normally get it done. My husband actually had no pain with the procedure, he never needed to ice himself, and he went to work the next day. He's very proud of himself! If you're definitely done having kids, this is the way to go.

EDIT: Your husband refuses to use a condom? Is he 16? Really- if he doesn't want to have more children, then he needs to take joint responsibility here and either agree to "cover up" or "clip it". It's not just your responsibility!

What's wrong with the good-old condom? You've already said that the "only thing you will do is..." so I'm not sure whether or not you are open to other options.

As for the vasectomy, we have had several friends go through the procedure with few or no complications. Of course there will be pain (think about the logistics), but it is out-patient and not permanent. My husband has already told me that after we decide we are finished having children, he's scheduling his procedure b/c "all of his friends did it"!

Bottom line, preventing pregnancy is a conscious choice and it will take effort and flexibility on both of your parts. Pick something and be consistent!

I'm with Lucky here.

Your husband refuses to use condoms? Then he can stay home and look after the baby that will result if he insists on sex with no other birth control.

He probably will complain how "un-spontaneous" things are if you are using the rhythm method and therefore checking your temperature and a notebook constantly at the mention of sex. He wants spontaneity and sex on demand? Condoms. (And even then, condoms are not 100 percent perfectly effective - they can leak and tear.)

He's putting 100 percent of the responsibility on you alone.

The alternative, if you really are ready to stop having kids, is to get your tubes tied. You say you're not ready for that, but also say you don't want more kids. I think that translates to, you're ready but maybe don't want to go through a medical procedure--? Consider life with a fourth child carefully and ask yourself if you really could handle it emotionally, financially, if your marriage would suffer. Then think again about having the procedure -- as well as about why he is putting all the BC responsibility on you.

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He will if he doesn't get any for a while.

Wow--I'm also unhappy with most of the choices for mostly similar reasons. I did send out a request about vasectomies though, and the responses were pretty encouraging. Perhaps soon. For now we're using the sponge--I don't think it's really a pain, but I'd guess it's pretty similar to a diaphragm. Low commitment though if you want to try it since you could buy them without a prescription. Maybe you could just use them around the danger time? I've also heard at LLL that Natural Family Planning is very effective with training. Maybe check that out and use a sponge or something if you're ovulating? My biggest worry with the sponge/diaphragm is that it isn't quite as effective as some other methods, but it still seems to be the best bet for us right now. I'll be following to see what else is suggested!

currently we don't use anything. i don't have insurance so i can't afford to get birth control. and my fiance has issues with getting and staying hard so condoms are very hard for us to use. he pulls out. its worked for us, but it is so risky. i hope you find something that works well for you. i pesonally think, if there isn't a true reason (allergy or legitimate psychological reason) for him to not wear a condom, i'd make him wear one. Good luck

The Mirena does have hormones, Paraguard does not. I have the same issues with using hormonal birth control- no sex drive, weight gain, acne, etc. and my husband hates condoms. I refuse to get my tubes tied (no major surgery for me after giving birth to his children!) and he won't get a vasectomy. We use pull and pray. For now, its working :).

I stopped taking the pill for the same reason. My husband got a vasectomy. We also looked into the risks associated with it before we made an appointment for him, and yes there are some very low risks. A very high percentage of vasectomies go off without any problems at all. My husband didn't have much pain after the procedure either. He had it done the day before his two days off and he just took it easy for those two days but he had very little discomfort. If no other form of birth control works for you, then I wouldn't discount the idea of a vasectomy. You don't want to accidentally have another child--that's a huge accident!

We actually only use condoms and the rythem method which has been working well for us so far.

No offense to you or your hubby but he needs to SUCK IT UP! Your bore your children and now its his turn to pitch in and take responsibility for birth control. Diaphrams are a pain the a** I know a lot of men who had a vastectomy and are very happy with it...If you or he won't consider that option than I suggest condoms....period!!!
If he won't wear them then don't have sex. I'm sorry but it is that simple. If you don't want more kids then you both equally have to take responsibility.!!!!

Just an FYI-my OB/GYN said that Spermicide was a waste of your money -it does not do anything. These were her exact words to me. I am in the same boat....but I am going back on Birth Control pills because we did have an oops but ended up losing the baby. Right now I can't go through that again anytime soon so my only option I felt was to go back onto birth control pills even though its the last thing I wanted to do....

I have the IUD w/no hormones. Have had it for 5 years or so and have had no issues.

Did you try different types of birth contro pills? So now that you are not on the pill, has your sex drive returned? Have you thought that the sex drive issue may be because you have 3 young children and its exhausting? Just a thought since you know yourself best. Do not do rythym or pull out method. The chance for an oops is so high! What about just good old fashioned condoms plus you do not have sex a few days before and when you ovulate so that way to are combining rythym with a condom? The rate of pregnancy with this method is really low and and should provide good protection for you.

Ok, just saw your update. Can he wear a condom just for the "finale"? That is what my husband did when I was on camilla while nursing since that is not a really good pill.

Copper IUD
Taking Charge of Your Fertility
Vasectomy

All have pluses and minuses... I have been using TCOYF for over 20 years. It works if you do the work. If you don't, then you take that chance.

GL!

My husband had a vasectomy maybe 6 years ago. Neither of us wanted more children. We thought about it for a while before having it done. He needed to have a small lump on his testicle biopsied so he had the vasectomy done at the same time. The surgery for the lump was invasive and it was as if he had gotten beaten with a bat down there from that procedure. He said had it just been the vasectomy, it would have been a walk in the park.

One word of caution - research the doctor and if possible, talk to men who have had theirs done by him. We didn't and we didn't ask too many questions ahead of time about the vasectomy because we were so concerned about the lump (turned out to be nothing, thank God). Anyway, the doctor used clips which I wouldn't recommend (although I think they are less likely to come "undone" like some methods?) My husband had a lot of discomfort from those stupid clips for a LONG time, however, he's fine now and we enjoy sex all the time now with no worry of getting pregnant. For me, another pregnancy just wasn't an option and I had a c-section before and I wasn't willing to have my tubes tied.