Birth Support to Friend

It's hard to say what she'll need but there's probably not a whole lot you can do aside from being there. Nurses will be in and out and she'll (probably) want someone to stay there with her and be able to run for things or communicate with nurses and the doctor or midwife.

Consider finding a doula's list of things to bring to a birthing room. No matter what came up during my labor and delivery, my doula had something for it. Hot pack for my back, kneeling pads for kneeling next to the birthing tub, I can't remember what else but there must be a list out there of handy things to have.

Something I liked during labor was photos of babies, (mine were cut out of magazines.) It was inspriring and reminded me of what I had to look forward to.

The best thing is to be supportive and say "you're doing great" no matter what.

I think the greatest way to help out in the DR would be to keep teeling her she is doing great, remind the husband what he can do to make her more comfortable(guys don't think there is anything they can do to help, so he may need guidance, nudges to rub her back, hold her hand, whatever, and you can also put together care package for the long haul ie. books, music, videos, crosswords. Before she gets the epidural there are lots of ways to help her deal with her pain. Most hospital delivery rooms now have baths with jets in them that hit just the right spots on her back. So you could run her a bath when she is starting to get too uncomfortable. Also, help her take walks, get her new slippers, robe when she dirties them, and if she has back labor a tennis ball rubbed on the tail bone is great! Bring one along for her husband to use. What a wonderful gift to be so close to your friend that she wants you with her!

I believe anyone (support people and otherwise) can benefit from reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin. Ina May is probably the nation's leading midwife and even though she mostly attends births out of the hospital, she has a wealth of knowledge to help women giving birth in any situation! It was my favorite book about childbirth (and I've read about 20 of them!). See if you can find that in your library system. You'll learn a ton!

Birthing From Within by Pam England is also a good one. In that book, they show you how to write a birth plan and they talk about being an advocate for the woman, however, it's geared toward a birth without drugs, so the advocate would be the one making sure the woman in labor doesn't get offered drugs. (Perhaps this book wouldn't suit you if your friend is planning on an epidural.) It does talk about "laborland" that state of mind where the woman concentrates on nothing else but the birth.

Henci Goer's book, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth is a great one to read for anyone who is unsure about the side effects of drugs. She freely admits that she's biased toward not taking any drugs, but she also gives you all the info. you need to make your own decision. This may be a good one for your friend to read if she has time to read it.

You should feel very honored. You're about to witness one of life's greatest miracles!