Birthday Gifts - Kew Gardens,NY

Updated on May 06, 2013
F.B. asks from Kew Gardens, NY
17 answers

Mamas & Papas-

How much am I "supposed" to spend when buying birthday gifts for my kid's classmates, or for kid parties in general? Do you buy one toy or one outfit, or book, or say hat and scarf set? Do I have to gift more generously if its a spendy party? Do I have to gift more generously if the kids are close friends? Does parent ettiquette require me to call and ask what the kid might want?

We bought jenga for a 4 y.o. cousin's recent birthday, cost me about $15.
A daycare classmate invited us to his 3rd birthday at the local farm (I've bought a Melissa & Doug reusable sticker book), cost me about $7.

Am I being too "cheap" or is this about right?

Thanks,
F. B.

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☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I spend about $25-$30 (max) for family member children and $15-$20 for friends, doesn't matter who it is or what the party is like.

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B.B.

answers from San Antonio on

I always ask the parent if there is something that ____ wants or needs in particular when I call to RSVP. The parents seem to appreciate it (as do I when I have parties for my kiddos). Often times they will lead me in a direction, and then I will go from there. I usually spend somewhere between $15-$20 for each gift, more or less depending on sales and coupons. I also buy extras of things (example: Disney Princess Barbies or Lego sets when they are on sale at Target at Christmas). That way I have a small supply at home to choose from without breaking the bank.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I strive to make our birthday gifts have a $15-$20 value. But I rarely spend that much on things. I shop sales and stock up. I buy things that are clearance out. I also find a "go to" gift for each age and it makes things much easier. Around 4, everyone got board games. I bought them at Christmas time when they were marked down to $3 and stocked up. One year it was light brites I found on sale. Last year I found clearanced out spy gear and bought a bunch.

The location makes no difference on how much we spend.

As long as the gift is thoughtful, I don't think the price tag matters at all.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I usually spend $10-15. Don't spend more generously for a spendy party. It's the parents' fault for overspending on a lavish event. You don't have to make up for it. I spend the same amount even if it's close friends. Too many birthday parties over the course of a year to spend a lot on each child.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I think you're doing great....keep up the good work, but I would avoid the clothes/hat & scarf. Kids prefer toys & books. :)

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K.P.

answers from Miami on

Unless it's a family member, I keep all birthday gifts (well) under $20. We usually ask my son (5) what he thinks his friend would like b/c he typically has a pretty good idea of what the child would want. Then we hit the toy store. If he finds EXACTLY what the child wants and it's under $20, we buy it. If it's over $20, then we don't.

Last year he went to his friend's 4th birthday party and he told me that she LOVES princess dress-up. We happened to hit a huge sale and got three dresses and bridal/princess accessories for $15 (would have cost closer to $40 full retail), so score! When they get a little older, I would spend a little more, but at this young age they outgrow toys and interests so quickly it hardly seems worth spending tons of $$!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Whatever you want. I usually spend less than $20 for each kid (more for a good friend of hers) and if I get a good deal, nobody else needs to know. One of DD's friends got a $10 toy that DD loved so the little girl probably loved it, too. I wouldn't worry about how much you spent on these gifts. My own family are getting books I got on clearance for a few bucks a piece. They don't need to know I didn't pay retail. And I never take the venue into consideration. They spend as much as THEY want for the party and it has nothing to do with my budget.

At this age, I do usually ask 1. what the kid might want and 2. if there are any items the parents may not want their child to have. Like Barbies, play dough or more ***& legos to step on. In a year or two, it will all be what DD suggests. Typically, I include this in my RSVP.

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J.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think you're right in the ballpark for friend gifts and cousin's. No worries. I always asked my kids what they thought the child would like and we went shopping for something under $15-20

J.O.

answers from Boise on

You spend what you can afford to spend. If you've only got $5 then that's what you spend, if you can do more then do more, but I would never do over $20 for a social acquaintance. Good friends I would do more for.

I'm one hell of a shopper, so I might walk in looking like I spent a lot, but I didn't. I am always on the lookout for clearance items and good sales.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

Typically we spend $15-20 for their friends. I also always remember to give them a gift receipt. I have my kid make them a card.

For my nieces and nephew we spend about $30. I get them an outfit and a toy.

V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I usually aimed for a $15 gift. If I could find a $15 gift that was on sale (or I had a coupon) so that it cost less, great. If I found a pricier gift that was on sale or I had a coupon for that brought it down close to $15, then I'd get that.

I always asked my kids if they had any thoughts about what their friends would like. Sometimes they would know, sometimes not. If they were clueless, I might ask the mom when I RSVP'd if there was anything in particular to avoid (usually, this prompts them to give you ideas of what their kid would like, also... but avoid asking it directly by letting them tell you what NOT to do... like some parents don't want their kids to have toy guns/water guns and such).

Don't over think it. They are kids.

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

Nope....You do what can....We usually spend $10 to $15 ...but at the preschool level we generally had a $10 max....And Target generally has a bunch of great kids/family movies for $5, so sometimes we give 2 or three or one with some other thing...

Have fun!

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I typically spend about $20. For closest friends, I do $25. For classmates that we don't really see outside of school, I might do $15.

Another thing I do is stock up on really inexpensive books through Scholastic. I can often get books for $1 - 3. So sometimes I will give a gift of 3-4 books, which I think is a nice present, but it may have only cost $5-10.

Most of the parents I know feel SO overrun with toys, so if you buy something like a sticker book or books, even if it costs less money, it may be appreciated more than a $20 toy.

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I keep it around $15. It often comes closer to $20. We have been doing more gift cards for the older kids who aren't really into toys anymore, so I will do a $15 gift card with a small trinket.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I spend about $10 on classmates and usually about $25 on family

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I think you spend a perfect amount! I usually spend $10-$15. We always collect gifts for the Ronald McDonald House at my kids' parties (in lieu of gifts for my kids). It takes the pressure off parents and supports a good cause. My kids still get plenty of gifts from family. I wish more parents would do this:)

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P.K.

answers from New York on

$7.00 is perfect for any child.

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