Birthday Parties - Denham Springs,LA

You could always say "Dutch treat", however my suggestion would be to change the party. It's kind of rude to invite people to a party and expect them to bring gifts AND pay for their food. If you can't pay for the food, I suggest requesting no gifts. If gifts are more important then I suggest having the party at a park or somewhere else cheap and at a time of day between meals (like 10 am or 2 pm) so you only have to provide minimal snacks.

I would have to agree with some of the other posts - you don't have a party and expect people to bring a gift and pay for their meal, too. I would NEVER ever host something and invite people and expect them to pay. You need to pay for everything.

I would not have a birthday party and expect any of my guests to pay for themselves. You are asking them not only to bring a present but host the party for you, which in my opinion is quite rude. Either spring for the party or don't have one.

My opinion is that it is pretty tacky to invite someone to a party and expect them to pay for it. I was taught that if you asked anyone to come/go somewhere with/for you then you were to pay no matter what the cost. I think etiquette coaches or books would agree. I understand not having the money but perhaps you should have cake and ice cream at a park instead. I think a lot of your guests would be offended and think it is tacky as well.

Hey C.,

I don't see a problem with letting the parents know they have to pay for thier meals. I recently was in the same situation with my best friend and her family. We went to Las Palmas on Jefferson and had a room and we all paid for own meal. I think the suggestion of getting the prices for the buffet and putting that on the invitation would be an easy way to let people know. I usually have my girls parties at my house every year and spend a ton of money on food that most of the time doesn't even get eaten. Going to a resturant and paying for our own meals is also how we do adult birthday's in my family. My parents will generally pay for thiers and whos ever birthday it is and the rest of my family pays for thier own. I certainly wouldn't get offended if you sent me an invite with that on it! The people that know you & your situation won't mind and those that do won't come.

C.,
Hello. I understand about not having the room for a birthday party at your house, so I think it's great you found another location (outside parties in April or May, may be rained out, so a restaurant location is good). I think a few posts were harsh on here. Having hosted lots of baby and wedding showers for friends and a few birthday parties, I have done them both at my home and at restaurants. For restaurant events, it does get tricky because if you're having to pay for 30 plus people to eat a meal, that adds up quickly (especially for a birthday). I have worded it on invites by putting "Appetizers and Dessert Provided" and it's never been an issue (that's pretty clear that a meal would be on them). You'll always have those folks that think you should have more or different appetizers, but you can't make everyone happy. But, if the location you're doing it at doesn't really have appetizers available, you can just put "Dessert and Drinks Provided" and pay for everyone’s drink (if possible). For my daughter's recent birthday, we had it at a restaurant at lunch time and since it was all my family and just 3 close friends (majority of guests drove from at least 2 hours away), I did personally feel like I needed to provide a meal to them at my expense. But, my Mom went in half with me, so it helped with that large expense. So, that's another option is see if a Grandparent wanted to help with the cost. I say do what you feel most comfortable with and you know you're guests better than anyone on here. Would they be offended if you didn't pay for a meal? If so, I would try to move it to a non-meal time of the day. Best of luck.
~ J.

Have the party at a park! The kids will have a blast. Buy some bubbles, balls, balloons and let them run around like crazies. Have chips, dip, chex mix, drinks, candy and cake and let that be it. You wouldn't have to control the kids so much (noise, etc) and the kids get worn out!

Are you providing a cake? If so, I'd say something like:

Restaurant X's buffet items will be available for purchase, or simply enjoy cake with us!

I had a baby shower like this. My cousin threw the shower, and she just put the price of the buffet on the invitation. It wasn't tacky the way she did it. Although, we did have a situation at the end, where no one but her had tipped. Everyone else assumed she had tipped for everybody. I'm not sure what to do about that. The invitation said something like: The shower will be at _____ buffet. Adult buffet price **, childs Price**, Children under three are free.

You may just want to say what you just said. Of course you could put Dutch treat but in case not everyone knows what that means, you can simply put please join us as we celebrate (insert her name) 3rd birthday. It will be held at ______ and you are responsible for paying for your own meal. We hope you can join us.

C.: I hope all goes well with your son and his special needs. I know at times that can be very demanding. I am responding to you because of the fact that you mentioned that you could not make it through this life without Jesus by your side. I agree with you. I don't know how people make it through the day without prayers or some type of acknowledgement of a higher power. My husband was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma in October of 2006 he has gone through his treatments of radiation & chemo and as of March 2007 we were given the results of his PET scan revealing that the cancer was gone. PRAISE GOD FOR HE IS GOOD AND ALL THE TIME HE IS GOOD.
Now in regards to your 3 yr old birthday party. Are you having this party in an area of the restaurant where parties are held for children? If so the invitation is for the child and if an invited child parent decides to stay they should know that if they want anything to eat its their responsibility to buy it. But if I am interpreting your e-mail correctly you are not supplying food for anyone and if not you may want to include in your invitations that a buffet is offered at the restaurant and include the cost of the buffet if it is a single price or a menu from the restaurant. This is a difficult situation. Good Luck!!!!

L.
A little about me: I am a mother of 2 daughters and grandmother of 2 a girl and a boy. I live in Mobile, AL with my husband and my children and grandchildren live in Louisiana. I love being a mother but there is nothing to compare to being a grandmother.

With you having it at a place like that it would be kinda hard to break it to them in a nice way because usually thwe first thing on someones mind about a birthday party is that everyone is going to already be paid for, and in most cases that is not true because there is usually too many guests for the parents to afford to pay for everyone. They just have to understand that at the end of the day you and your husband are still human and that you two still ahve bills and a child which is a major deduction from your income so you can't pay for everyone, and it wouldn't be fair for you to just pick certain ones to pay for because the ones that you don't pay for will think that you are showing favoritism or something. My suggestions is to inform them on how many people will be attending and that you can't pay for everyone so to be fair you chose not to pay for any of the guests so no one would feel left out or disliked as much as others.

Since you say there will be alot of people coming, I believe your family will come regardless of paying their cost of food but friends may not come. Are you sure that most of the people invited can afford the extra cost? If not, does the restaurant allow people to come in- just for the party? If so, mention you'll we be eating at 6:oo pm (?) for those who choose to join you at their expense for dinner then cake will be served at 7:00 pm (?) for everyone attending. This way, they can choose to eat the buffet or not to eat it. Maybe there is a party room available. S.

We have actually done this several times, usually at Chick-Fil-A, because they have a play set. You have to make it pretty clear, or you will have people showing up, expecting you to pay. You can say something like, "Come join us at [name of restaurant] to celebrate [your child's name] birthday! Eat before you come, or buy your dinner there, either way, we will provide the cake and ice cream. We look forward to seeing you there!"
Good luck!!

C.
On your invitations you could put that you are invited to our daughters 3rd Birthday it will be held at this restaurant and this day and you will be responsible for paying for your food, we wish that we could take care of everyone's but at this time we can not I hope that everyone will understand and still come and celebrate with us and our daughter in Jesus name we pray.

I would put the price of the buffet or the average price of an entree right on the invitation. Make sure that the invitation is as cheerful as you can make it, i.e. smiley faces. Good luck!

If you are sending out invitations you could put on it something like, "Buffet for Adults, $8.99, Children $5.99" or whatever it is. This will send a subtle message and get you out of hot water. If you are inviting people by word of mouth you can casually throw that bit of information in. I think this should work out well for you. Good luck and Happy Birthday to your daughter!

do the party at a time when its not a "meal" time, then your guests can decide for themselves if they want to eat buffet or not, such as 1:00pm or 4:30pm. Also you can put on the invitation "join us for cake and ice cream",
Good luck to you and have a great party!

Hi C.,
Firstly, you did not mention 'no gifts', so everyone assumed you wanted them. Secondly, are you saying the adults should pay for theirs, and you will take care of the kiddies; or, do you disavow yourself entirely?

Either way, it's about as tacky as it gets. Inviting and then informing them they have to pay to play is such bad form. Would you want them to tell their kids that they can't go to your party because they can't afford it?

Proper etiquette dictates that you make the guests feel special. I wouldn't feel that going to your party. You are obliged to pay the entire cost.

How about another alternative like fewer guests. Balloons, ice cream and cake is all you need; a few little finger foods around, hot dogs. Remember, the Dollar General is a good source for many party items and delicious munchies; as well as little grab bag gifts to distribute to the kiddies as they leave, etc.

That shows a caring host. It could be done in your backyard. Nice and simple. That being said, would you still expect the invited guests to pay when they arrive? lt is no different for a wedding, you do not invite, then make guests pay for their meal and drinks. All the best.

I know you have already received tons of responses, but I have a 5 year old daughter and go through the same thing with birthday parties. It really is bad etiquette to invite people to a birthday party and expect them to pay for their food. My suggestion is to limit the number of children you invite and have it at home, or in a park. I have read many articles about this and they suggest the number of kids to invite to be no more than the age of the child plus one. So that would be 4 for your daughter. You could invite twice that many, and then be sure that at least half of them would come. I have had parties at my house and also in other places. The kids have just as much fun at our house, in my opinion, and the adults really enjoy it too. I have been to McDonald's, Chick-Fil-A, and Pizza Inn parties where only the food for the kids was provided. If adults wanted to eat, they had to purchase their own food. I think that is fine also. The party is strictly for the kids, but in that case, I would not have it right at lunch or dinner time. I have been to many parties where there were not even snacks for the adults. That's fine too, but I don't think an extra bag of chips would break anyone's budget. Usually the kids don't eat a whole lot anyway. You can throw a party for less than $100 for about 10 kids if you are creative. Another suggestion...do a Google search for ideas on affordable kids' birthday parties. I bet you can find something. Can you make your own cake? That would save a bundle right there. Good luck!

While a buffet restaurant party sounds like a very good idea, I really don't think there's any tactful way to ask people to pay for their own meals. Perhaps a different kind of party might be a good idea, such as at a park - many of them have picnic facilities - and everyone could bring a covered dish. Have some games organized for the kids. It could be a fun event without the risk of offending your guests.

I don't think having a "3 year old's" birthday party at a buffet restaurant would be a good idea. If you two are low on funds, maybe you should just do hot dogs, chips, punch and get the baby a cake. If you can't afford to be a hostess, maybe you should just do something as a family and let that be it.

Hi there C. M. Well: This is a new one on me. I always thought if you gave a party ,the food was included just like at home . If you want extra food then you write , please bring a covered dish or call me to bring a dish food not provided.Budget strechers provided.

I agree with the other post that you should rethink the location. What we usually do is cake and ice cream at a time that will end at dinner time. We then let our our family and very close friends know that we are going to x to eat dinner. Usually they all join us but it isn't a "birthday party". I hope that makes sense. Good luck.

You could always put how much the buffet is per person.(child and adult prices). This should let them know they have to pay for it. Or, maybe, you could emphasize that it's a cake only. I'm not good at these type of things...lol..Just a couple of ideas.

Maybe you could check with an etiquette expert, but I think if you're inviting people to a restaurant to celebrate a birthday and bring gifts, you're supposed to pay for it. If they're paying for themselves, you should definitely make that clear and also put "no gifts, please" on the invitation. Best though, would be to think of another arrangement altogether.

I'd state how much the buffett costs- then add " B-day cake and refreshments:provided" Hope to see ya there! - Or- "Hope you can join us"!
JudyL.

C.,
I am a mother of 2, a 7yr old and a 5 month old... I have had my share of birhthday parties with my 7 yr. old. The best way out of this type of situation would be to send out the invites stating that you will be having the birthday party at this resteraunt and will be providing the cake and ice cream. If one should so choose to eat, give them the cost of the buffet. This way, they are prepared to pay if they want food. Best to you and your family!