Birthday Party... Almost Everyone Can't Go:(

Less kids means more fun. You can spend more money on games for them to do or take them some place awesome. Less doesn't always mean bad.

My daughter's birthday is this month and it seems that it is just harder in the summer when school's not on. It's like it's not on people's radars or something. This year instead of dealing with all the nonsense of planning, inviting, etc. we told her she can invite one friend to go with us to Six Flags. It will actually cost less money and I think she'll have more fun in the end. Plus, she doesn't need a ton of gifts, she already gets plenty from family.

I hate so bad that people do not RSVP like asked, it is so rude and tacky and a huge pet peeve of mine. My sister had the worst thing happen to her son, he was turning 5, it was his first birthday party with friends, ever. My sister asked for an RSVP by a certain date and not one person called/emailed her. So she got on the phone and started leaving messages, no one still returned calls (all the while, she felt she had good friends). She didn't know what to do, so she decorated for the party and got the cake from the store and when party time rolled around, not one child showed. I tear up just thinking about his party and how confused he must have been. I get angry at the parents who feel birthday parties are last on the agenda over their Costco run or a 10am tee time. She had his other siblings still play games she had planned and tried to help him forget but of course he asked where his friends were so my sister had to break his heart and tell him that they weren't coming. She then let him choose where he wanted to go for dinner so they ended up at McDonald's to salvage a poor broken hearted 5yo's party.

I had a party once I invited 12 kids too, no one would RSVP so I sent a general email out that stated, "if you are getting this, it's because I haven't heard from you and would like to make sure your child isn't left out....." It seemed to work for about 80% then I flat out had to call the other few. So annoying! Just RSVP like asked and help a mom out will ya??? She only had 4 kids show to her party out of 12 but at least it was SOMEONE.

Common manners and ettiquette is totally out the window in our culture, what happened to being polite about a party invite? I for one, will ALWAYS RSVP by the date listed, no matter what, it takes less than 30 seconds.

Well, its summer.
Lots of families, are on trips or what not or hardly home.
It can't be helped.
Just explain that to your kids, so they don't get disappointed.

How are your RSVP's organized? Did you give everyone your e-mail address??? People are more prone to e-mailing an RSVP than calling in person. Less awkward.

I would, get back to those invited and ask them about their attendance.

Like the PPs have said, there are a variety of factors involved - there's the non-RSVPers/late RSVPers, there's the last-minute schedulers, and then there are just certain times of year when a lot of people will be out of town. (A friend of mine whose daughter's b-day always falls around Memorial Day said she got so tired of planning b-day parties where hardly anyone could show up that one year she asked her kids "how about we skip the party and spend the money on getting a Wii instead?")
I've found I get a better percentage of RSVP's when I use e-Vite instead of paper invites, because people can check yes or no right away without having to leave the computer and then they can go on with whatever they were doing.

My oldest daughter's birthday is next week, and she was in kindergarten this year, so since it was her first year wanting to invite school friends, I held her party a month earlier, in June, on a Saturday. We had amazing response, almost everyone invited came! Good thing we did that, because now it's summer and people are busy, away, or just MIA. I suggest you do that in the future... it's nice too because it frees up the family to celebrate the birthday without the work of a party with kids hanging over your head. Summer birthdays are tough and this was suggested to me, so glad I listened! Good luck...!

It may just be the timing especially in the summer. Kids are out of school and parents have the freedom to now go on vacation. Do you have birthday parties all the time? If so that could be another reason. Please downplay the lack of attendance to the party and make it as special as you can for your child. If they are disappointed just explain that sometimes people get busy and have other committments. Best wishes it will be ok.

k

We cancelled my son's 2nd bday party b/c noone could come.
I think b/c it's summertime, people either have vacations planned.
OR
they figure out what they're doing week by week and they'll wait till the last minute to let you know if bday party is on their list of things to do that weekend.
I agree with JL - manners have gone out the window for a lot of people. My parent's 4th of July party -- only 5 RSVPed that they were coming (my parents, plus me hubs and son). Then it ended up being about 25 people there. Mom found out one day ahead of time that everyone decided to come.

I'm so sorry to hear this -- and the little boy below who had no one show up!! That's heartbreaking! I'll just throw out there that we did an Evite for the first time for our daughter's 6th birthday. People started responding literally within moments of me sending it out via email. With the cost savings of paper invites and stamps at 50 cents a pop PLUS the convenience for all involved (me and invitees), I can't imagine ever sending a paper invite out again. Oh, plus you can email reminders for those who haven't responded yet. So simple. (I'm also a person who would rather respond via email; hate doing it by phone, especially if I have to say no!!)

My sister had NO one come to a party once when 2 said they would. Devastated her and I felt so badly for her. She was 7 and it was fall. I'd call the parents of the 2 to ensure they are coming and just do something with the smaller group.

As for the other kids, many people don't know how to RSVP. Start calling after the RSVP deadline. I think more than summer, people just don't know or care what RSVP means and don't put kid parties top of the list...til it is their kid's turn.

I'm sorry, that is a bummer. I don't think my kids have ever missed a birthday party. Yes, they can be a pain sometimes when you want to make other plans - but I always make sure my kids attend because we want the same respect when our kids parties roll around.

I also do not understand why people don't RSVP. Another pet peeve is when they don't RSVP but show up anyway, stay for the party, and bring their other kids with them - and expect all to be fed/have goody bags.
Some people are so clueless!

My daughter's birthday is June 14th, right when summer is starting...so we always do her party a week early so her friends are still in town and not in vacation mode yet. Stinks because we like to do it just after, but it makes her happy to have friends come. We also always have people who don't RSVP that show anyways.

Maybe since it's only a few kids you can make a change and do something special that will cost a little more but will leave more of an impression??

Go to the movies then back to your house or a museum or waterpark - something you can't do with 10 kids but can do with 3 or 4.

only because I dropped the ball!!! And our party is this weekend....I usually don't drop the ball - but I failed to send out invites - I only talked to people, which is not like me NOT to send out invites....my son is fine...this means that there will be more tokens to go around!

Sorry!!! I would try and reschedule if you can, if not - then the 2 that are there - wow!! YAHOO!! PARTY!!

As to the other party - I would follow up on the guests and see if they got the invite and if they will be able to attend!

Summer birthdays, well, they suck. LOL

My boy is an early June birthday but school here lets out in mid May. So I struggled with his Bday parties when he younger. I usually called the Moms that I knew and did a direct invite that way - that way I could at least guarantee 4 to 5 children. We also had larger parties with family that made up for the small attendance from peers.

It got easier as he got older - he would hand out invites on the last day of school and collect phone numbers to follow up with. It was up to him, once he hit 4th/5th grade to do the follow up calls.

No that he has hit the old age of 15 - he just calls a few close friends and has a hang out day at the house.

But I ultimately found it less disappointing to him to have smaller parties - 2 or 3 boys, pizza, the theater for a movie and arcade, then home for cake and video games.

It's just the summer disconnect - it gets better when they get older.

My birthday is in the middle of summer (in a couple of weeks, actually). When I was a kid, every year, my mom would invite a bunch of kids for my party, and every year *maybe* 4 would attend because everyone was away on vacation or at camp or whatever. That's just how it goes with summer birthdays, I guess. Disappointing at the time, sure, but I turned out to be a happy, well-adjusted adult, so no real harm done.

Of course, there's still the issue of people becoming ruder and ruder when it comes to RSVP etiquette. I've started calling people who I don't hear from: "Hi, I sent out the party invitations a couple of weeks ago and hadn't heard back from you yet, so I felt bad that maybe it got lost in the mail!" I've gotten a "yes" or a "no" right there on the spot 99% of the time, often with an apology for not responding sooner.

I'm sure I'm the only mom that does this but we don't hand out 16 invites to every single kid my kid can think of. We tell our kids they can invite 3 friends to go with them to their choice of activity (Bounce U, bowling, lazer tag, movie, etc). Usually those 3 kids have been able to go so I have not run into this. So maybe next time try that and actually tell those kids parents that you are only inviting 2 or 3 and you really hope their kid can go cuz they are such great friends...you know...guilt them into it! Ha! Good luck, I hope you find something that works for you!

for my daughters birthday we invited ALL 22 kids in her class. I had 11 rsvp. I thought that was a great turn out. But, on party day, only 3 kids showed. It made me a little upset, but she still had fun. As long as it's still fun for the kids, I don't think the number really matters all that much

This has happened to us before. My son has a July birthday, actually it's Today, and last year only 2 boys came. I spoke to a few moms, and I think some of the kids had camps and stuff, but most people didn't even rsvp.

I felt so sorry for my son, though he had a great time anyway. So this year I decided to keep it way simple. Especially since he is 8, I thought he would enjoy picking just a few close friends and going bowling or something. We not doing the whole party thing.

Happy Birthday, JONAH!

Knowing how it feels to plan a party, I always RSVP, yes or no.
Katie

I made sure to ask two or three of the best friends' moms for a solid commit before I scheduled, put down money, made the engagement for the place/entertainment. Because at least if the best friends came, my son would be happy. Because my son's birthday is December 22! Talk about conflicts. I live in an area where people clear out for the holidays, either that or the few left behind have family in town and don't want the kids leaving even for a couple of hours. So also, I realized I couldn't have a kids party on the day of, but early in December or late January, when people were more amenable. It was funny about getting those three early commits, it was like they were infectious or something. Sometimes every single kid would come when I didn't really expect that. And occasionally little Johnny's cousin from St. Louis would be in town and would it be alright to bring him along, etc., so we would be over subscribed. This did not mean my son was Mr. Popular, it means I learned the above methods the hard way and I know you will develop your own system too, one that works for your family. All best to you and your family.

Both of my sons have summer birthdays and they are so tough to get invites out and actually have kids attend. My 5 year olds party is this saturday and I have heard from 3 of the 16 that were invited! I bought the kids water squirters to take home and we're going to have "water wars", slip n slide, and sprinklers. They won't even notice that there are only a few of them.
For my older son (9), for the past 2 years we have given him the option of having a party or taking one friend to a place like Kings Dominion. He always opts for the amusement park. This summer we went to Massanutten Water Park and had a blast.
Stay positive for you child, although I know it's disappointing inside.

I would call the cousins, the old neighbors, the kids across the back alley, everyone I could think of and make this an awesome fantastic party. That way the rejection of his peers won't be so hard to take.