Birthday Party Question

My sis and I were just recently having the exact same discussion! I think that it's only appropriate to pay for the parent who will be attending with the invited child. In these situations the child can often not attend unless accompanied by a parent so the parent is considered a "guest" as well. As for the additional uninvited siblings, you should not have to foot the bill for them as well. If the parents feel the need to bring extra children then they need to pay for them. I know that his is just one persons opinion but I hope it helps!

If it is the pools rules to have a parent in the pool, the parent should not have to pay, nor should you. As far as siblings, the invited parent should pay. You are invited a child, not their siblings.

I would just invite her 3 or 4 closest friends and pay for whoever shows up. IMHO I think it's rude to ask for them to pay for themselves. That's why I only do parties that's group priced. But that's just me.
Have fun.

Years ago I was a young army wife with three small girls. You always want your child to have the best money can offer. I feel it's the parents of the birthday child to pay for the invited guests. It should be made clear on the invitation that the party will be free for invited guests but there will be a charge for any uninvited guest.

Money is tight for everyone now as it was 25-30 years ago. If parents of invited guests can't understand that you have a budget to keep and you have allotted so much money for the party, they can keep all their kids home and disappoint the ones that were invited guests.

We had the same issue when we had my sons party at a buffet. We put on the invitation that we would pay for one child and one parent and any other guest would have to pay at the door. I did pay for one parent because I did not want them to leave their child with me and then come back and pick them. You might get that problem if you only pay for the child. I asked everyone I knew if thought that was good or rude and everyone said no as long as you state it on the invitation. Hope that helps!!

If the pool requires a parent to swim with the child, then i think it is only fair of you to pay for THAT parent. Other parents or kids....no, I don't think you should be expected to do that. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of printing a ticket with the invited kid's name + parent. That is a subtle way to get the point across.

You could also let them know prices for additional kids, but I think the best way to be polite and still get your point across is the ticket idea! I DO think you should be responsible for paying for the one parent, though. It's not fair to expect that parent to pay to swim since it is required.

The awkwardness of trying to celebrate a birthday with friends and define expenses you are willing and able to be responsible for is difficult. I have 8 kids now ages 12-31, so I found it helpful to "discuss it" with myself. What's bad about going to a birthday party where everything is not going to be "provided" or where it might be awkward for everything to be "provided" for every additional family member who might show up. Unexpected expenses are a little hard to deal with at the last minute. If I'm in the situation of your guests, and headed to a pool party where I KNOW that I will need to supervise my invited child and pay extra for my other children, it's easier to handle. What's rough is if I don't have enough money with me, or I have too many children with me. When you make out the invitations if you can mention the cost of the pool, and apologize for your inability to cover the total expense, that will alert the other moms and dads of the situation. I might suggest that you ask the pool if you can pay for a group rate of some sort so you can graciously include all the children who might need to be there. Some parents have local grandparents they can leave the other children with, but since you are a military wife yourself, I'm sure you know that it can be rough to pay a sitter at every turn. If the guest list is not too long perhaps you can invite a smaller number of whole families, and make it a family celebration. We did that a couple of times combining 2 sons whose birthdays and friends lists were close. The best party was the Pirate themed party with all the brothers and sisters at a park, friends helped me bring food, we provided some, the invitations were issued by phone so I could explain all the needs. For a gift suggestion I invited them to bring pennies to contribute to a "treasure chest" gift that my husband hid and made clues for a hunt. All the kids were on different teams for the hunt with an adult and teen helping. The money inside was divided between the two boys. This wasn't a little kids party, we all had fun, the siblings were all included, our friends helped us by bringing food and we all had a great time.

I think however you do it, avoiding the unexpected for your guests will make it pleasant and happy for everyone.

T., absolutely not. My daughter just turned 7 yrs. old about a month ago and we had her party at Humble Family Skate Center. I made it very clear in the invite that I am only paying for the special guest of my daughter, and any siblings and parents are responsible for their own entry. I also made this rule for my own family members. I say create a guest list. Anyone who enters and their names are not on the guest list must pay their own way into the event. I had no problems. Now one thing you may want to do is have extra party bags and enough food for those kids who are not on your list. I had extra party bags and ordered more than enough pizza. The kids were so excited to get the bags and extra pizza that the parent didn't care about paying because they had fun. Well, Good Luck!!!

For a birthday party, you shouldn't make it so the parent has to pay anything to get in. Some people have to bring siblings, and it's awkward to ask them to pay for siblings. In my neighborhood, you can rent out the clubhouse for a couple of hours and everybody gets to swim. That might work out better for you cost- and hassle-wise.

If a parent has to swim with the child, I would pay for the invited child and one parent, and make it very clear on the invitation.

You could print out cute tickets on your pc and print the child's name and make one for So and so's mom or dad. Put them in the invites. Specify that they will need to show the tickets at the door or need them for a game or door prizes. This way it is pretty clear that it is for the child and a parent without saying- "Don't bring extra kids." Don't forget to call to get a head count before the big day. Some might cancel and then you would have room for any extras that could appear the day of.
Oh you could do friendship bracelets instead of tickets. or maybe cheap flip flops or towels you can usually find them pretty inexpensively in bulk. They could decorate them there or have you dd decorate them before delivery.

No way! And they shouldn't expect it. Do they give a ticket to the ones that are paid for? That would be easy, that way you can hand it to the parent and say "here is his/her ticket for the pool." I guess I need more information about how it is run. Maybe you could make a general announcement once everyone has arrived...

As a mom, I would not be offended if you clearly indicated that the invitation was for your child's friend. Paying for the whole family is ridiculous, but weird how some would expect it. Be up front about it, then no misunderstandings can ruin the day.
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This is a sticky situation. I have had parties where the entire family shows up! One small party went from a CiCi's to the movies and that family followed us there! We felt obligated to pay! I like the idea that spells out who you will pay for or sending along tickets or bracelets with the invitation for the bearer only. The wrist bands are a familiar item that signifies if you have one only you get to participate. It saves the awkward moments later. Maybe a hospital will donate a few for your party? Good luck! Have fun!

NO you should pay for them if they want to swim that is up to the parents to pay not you. That could get very expense. You didn't invite the entire family.

That will be so much money to spend if u r on a budget. I know I am on a budget and I would pay for the children that I invited, not guests that they bring w/them, nor the parents. All of the parties I gave for my daughter I paid for the kids only and I let the parents know, "I'm paying for the kids." I gave the prices for adults in the invitation.

T., I would start by seeing if there was another pool close by that is nice that might would give you a group rate instead of individual rates. This is really bizarre for a pool. I can see a restaurant or something like that but hmmmm? I would start there and if still no luck I would just invite her close friends that you are willing to pay for. I have a 5 yo daughter and when I send invitations I always address them to the child invited and I have never had siblings come to my daughters parties. They usually make it a special girl day with mommy kind of thing and then the other kids have a "special" day with daddy. I hope parents would understand that she only wants her friends there. Hope that helps and good luck.
E.
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I think that you should pay for each invited child and the parent that is required to be with them to swim. I agree with doing 'tickets' when you send the invitation to make it clear who exactly is invited. Then, if the parents want to bring more family -- they can pay for them :).

as a single mom, this happened to me with a pizza party... I was charged by the child and parents brought other siblings with them. I politely let them know that I would be paying for the child that was invited to the party, but could not pay for anyone else. Most mom's were understanding. Good Luck!!