Biting and Overnight Feedings...when Should They Stop?

Updated on August 25, 2008
S.D. asks from Chicago, IL
11 answers

I guess this question is actually two fold...I have an eight month old son who is a joy. He is solely breastfed, along with solids and he does really well with both- he likes to eat! He does well sleeping, although he still gets up for one overnight feeding (which totals 5 nursing sessions per day). Obviously, it would be nice for my husband and I to be able to sleep through the night but I also want to make sure my son is getting what he needs. When he gets up, it is usually between 2-4 a.m. and is a full feeding. He falls back asleep and I put him to bed and go back to my bed. I guess my main question is, when will this stop and should I let it phase itsself out or take the reigns on stopping it? I don't want to take something away from him that he needs but I am not sure he actually needs it or if he just enjoys my company overnight. He has gone as long as 10 or 11 hours without a feeding and been fine and didn't seem to be starving when I fed him after that. Also, one night we had to get up and go to the basement (tornado warning) and I nursed him back to sleep at 10 p.m. and he still got up at the same time (3 a.m.) so I am thinking it may be more habit than anything. In addition to this, he has started biting. Only when he is finished so I can't really do much about it (like stopping nursing for a minute or anything like that). I very gently tell him "no, that hurts mama" but obviously he doesn't get it. It is kind of like his way of saying "all done mama" I feel like. And it hurts like everything. I am definitely not ready to stop nursing and I don't think he is either- any tips would be greatly appreciated. I have heard from friends that breastfed babies rarely sleep through the night but I also have friends whose bf babies have slept through the night. any advice would be appreciated.

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A.J.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.-
First of all congratulations on breastfeeding your son for 8 months. You will have saved $2,400.00 by not buying formula by the time of his first birthday. As for middle of the night feedings, you have the right idea. It's just a habit. Your baby is now old enough to get all his nutrition before he goes to bed, and doesn't need a midnight snack. How to change the situation? Ask his Dad to respond to him (Daddy doesn't smell like breastmilk).
Dad can give a small cup of water for a night or two, then just decrease his contact each night and by a week he should be sleeping the night without waking.
As for the biting, one traditional strategy is when the baby bites, quickly push his face into your breast. When the baby needs to breathe, he will back away from you and stop the bite. Then relatch him. Babies will get it "if I bite Mom, she will take my breath away, so I better not bite Mom anymore."
Good luck, A. J.,MN,APN/CNS,IBCLC,FILCA

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

I read 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It seemed to help gain an understanding of how much sleep babies need, how to go about training them to fall asleep on their own (so that when they do wake in the middle of the night, they don't need you to nurse them back to sleep!), and it was very insightful and helpful. It also gives you time to yourself at night, which, in my opinion, beats the family bed :D We do have special nights where we all camp out in the big bed, but you don't rest as fully when there are little people in your bed with you.
Just my opinion, though :D
If the biting doesn't stop with telling him or removing him from the breast, a gentle little flick on the cheek may. It sounds mean, but it didn't take my son two flicks before he stopped biting. Use as a last resort, obviously...
Good luck!

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N.L.

answers from Chicago on

My son is 11 months, and I solely breastfeed too except I give him a 1/2 formula 1/2 breastmilk bottle at night to fill him up. He still wakes up anywhere between 4-6am for a nursing and then goes back to sleep. I am in the same boat as you because I believe this is just a habit and he should be able to sleep until 6-7am. I am waiting for his 1 year doctor appt, cause I am sure my doc will tell me he doesn't need to nurse at that time. Plus at his first birthday, I am changing him to whole mlik and closing down the milk factory - lol. I have a feeling I will need to let him cry it out for a week and then he will re-train into a solid sleep pattern. I just continue to nurse in the middle of the night cause I think he needs it too, plus it helps my low supply. I am sooo ready for a good nights sleep. As for the biting, I am lucky that my son is just getting his first tooth. My daughter did bite me once, and I was told to take her face and push it into the breast and the baby has to release. It sounds cruel but she never bit me again after that.

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M.P.

answers from Chicago on

IMO, just because they don't need something for nutritional value that doesn't mean they don't need it. You are right, he may not be hungry at 3 am but needs to reconnect with you. Just because it's nighttime, doesn't mean they need us any less. I cut out the middle of the night feeding at 15 months old and it was easy, she was ready. I was also pregnant and needed the sleep. But she was much older and could understand a lot more than an 8 month old. My daughter wasn't much of a sleeper and still isn't but my son sleeps pretty good. We cosleep so neither of us really has to get up fully for him to nurse which has made my life a lot simpler dealing with a toddler also. Babies sleep through the night when they are neurologically ready and when emotionally they don't need their moms in the middle of the night. Until then, read a good book at 3 am and enjoy the quiet of the night.
Biting will stop itself. Just continue to say "NO BITE" and take him off and it will stop. It could possibly be teething that is the cause of it. It sounds like your son is doing great. I just read the Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears and so much of it was relevant to breasfed babies and their mothers. I really recommend reading it. Good luck.

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

Both of my children were breast fed but we did introduce solids around 6 - 8 months. Especially for my second, my husband really wanted to be part of the food chain and my son just seemed to need more so I gave up the 9:00 pm feeding with me and my husband gave him a bottle of breast milk and rice cereal. That was the best thing we did and he would sleep the night and so would I (and THAT was best for my family - a well-rested MOM is a great thing!)

Regarding the biting thing....my daughter started biting at 9 months and truly there was no stopping her. Once she decided to enjoy using her new teeth, she was, sadly, done breastfeeding and went from the breast to a cup (bottles were short term - she bit the nipple right off!) I did all the things you are supposed to do..."NO..NO....close shop quickly...etc" and still it didn't stop. When my son came along....and at 5 months, started biting....he did it a couple times, however, he was so sad "shop" was closed and, thank God, never did it again! I successfully fed him for 18 months. Just be persistent - hopefully that phase is very short-lived. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

Trust your instinct on the 3am feeding. Depending on how well he ate dinner, our 12 mth old will either sleep through or wake as often as twice in a night. Since we are slowly phasing out nursing, I'll either give him whole milk, water or the breast (he really doesn't nurse much its really just for comfort) I just follow his cue. Our little guy has never really taken a bottle and started to move to a sippy cup at 7-8mths, at this point he seems to be self weaning. We're both ready to move on.

As for the biting, just stay consistent - say no, close up shop and put him down (which works if it is the end of your feeding). Another is to anticipate the end or your feeding session and you break before he can bite.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hey S.-- Congrats on hanging in there with nursing-- it is a wonderful thing! In terms of biting, the most successful thing that I did with my son (who is 11 months and still exclusively breastfed along with solids) was to say "ouch" in a louder/higher pitched voice when he bit me while nursing. It was loud and surprising enough that it startled him and really helped in teaching him to stop. He rarely ever has bitten again since I responded this way. The other important aspect is to make sure that your facial expression after saying "ouch" is serious, not smiling, so they can learn from your body language too.
In terms of ending the middle of the night feeding it is hard to do as it seems to go against our instinct to respond when we think they are hungry. I stopped with my son at around 9 months, but it really was hard at first to trust that I wasn't depriving him of milk when he was hungry. I had the same feelings as you do, that I wanted to make sure that I wasn't keeping him from feeding, but was concerned that he may be waking to have company at night.
If you are ready to try ending the middle of the night feeding we approached it by letting him cry and put himself back to sleep instead of going to him at that feeding time. It was one of the hardest things I have done as a mom as I was afraid he was starving in his crib. It took about 3 days for him to stop waking at that time, but we haven't had any backsliding since then. In terms of when the best time to do this would be, I think that all babies are different. In the case of our son we did it at about 9 months. In our case it seemed like the night feeding was more of a habit for him than a dietary need. On the days following this change he didn't seem to be exceptionally hungry during the daytime. We also have tried to make sure that the dinner baby food meal is something more hearty like some banana or rice cereal to help him feel fuller. For me, the ability to sleep more consecutive hours has been really incredible and positive. I wish you the best and encourage you to go at your own pace on this one as nursing is such a special time with your little one. Take Care!

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B.C.

answers from Chicago on

as per your nursing question (and i'm guessing i'm not the first person to say this), he does not "need" that middle of the night feeding. after babies weigh 12 or 15 lbs, they can physically make it through the night w/o needing to eat. that said, he certainly likes it and enjoys the time with you and knows that you're going to keep coming back to feed him, which is clearly very good! you've obviously done a great job creating a very strong bond!!

what i did to get rid of those pesky middle of the night feedings was to time them. the first night i let her nurse as long as she wanted to, then i took 1 or 2 minutes off of that starting time every night till we were down to one minute feedings. what was amazing is that she was fine with nursing for just one minute! she even pulled off by herself!!! after a night or two of those almost non-feedings she slept through the night (then she got a horrible cold and all of my hard work was out the window, but that's a whole other story!!).

good luck!!

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

My son (7 months) is going to be the biting type, I can just tell. It hurts when he bites my nipple without teeth, and now he's getting his first tooth. Like your son, he does it when he's done eating. My plan is to keep my finger in between his lips at the end of feedings to immediatly break suction when he starts to bite, say no and end the session. We'll see if that works.

My daughter, the nurse-a-holic, nursed several times a night until she was 3 when I night-weaned her. She refuesed most solids until she was over 1, so she needed to nurse a lot at night. As least you don't have that issue! But night nursing was very important to her emotionally too, and waiting until she was that old was key to an easy weaning experience. I'm not suggesting you wait that long :) just sharing our experience.

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

I know at 9 months they no longer need to be fed in the middle of the night. If you get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, that's what it will tell you. He probably doesn't really need to eat in the middle of the night now & it probably is a habit. I would get that book & it will tell you how to break the habit. You are probably just going to have to let him cry it out in the middle of the night & then he will go back to sleep.

My daughter bites also & she is just about to turn 9 months old. I don't really know how to stop it other than just telling them no. I am not nursing anymore but she bites my shoulder constantly. I think you just need to be firm & maybe have a teething ring with you after you nurse him so he understands not to bite you but the ring instead.

Hope that helps!

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G.M.

answers from Chicago on

My 18 month-old daughter still nurses during the night. I am tired, and I need to go to bed earlier, because I just want to sleep. I would like for her to sleep throught the night without waking up and nursing, but I figure it will happen in due time. She is my fourth, and I too am all about "organic" living. I have used (with all 4)and am using cloth diapers, and the like!

They eventually wean themselves from those feedings I think, but I'm sure there are ways to do it yourself.
Sleeping through the night can be defined by 5-6 hours of sleeping without waking, but most adults don't consider that to be sleeping through the night. I try to keep that in mind.
If you come up with a great solution, let me know!

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