Biting Issues

Take a look at this link. It will explain a lot about biting. My 13 month old son was doing the same and I heard the same things you did but it is a developmental thing. My daycare gave me this info and I found it helpful.

http://www.health.state.ok.us/program/mchecd/biting.html

T.-
My daughter is now 16 months old and went through that stage not too long ago but has since moved on from it. I didn't spat her had because after doing that a few times she just ending up biting and hitting. So, I would say it is just a phase and just talk to him about not doing in and soon enough he will have grown out of it.
Take care,
T.

T.,

Typically, children bite due to a high level of frustration connected to the inability to communicate at such a young age. (This frustration also leads to tantrums!)I work with parents and children and I always suggest to EXPLAIN and TALK to their kids, no matter their age. Explain to your child in a stern voice, at her eye level, that biting hurts, and you don't like that behavior. Then, walk away and ignore her! This approach, like any other, will take more than a couple of times for her to understand. Be consitent!! I personally do not agree with spanking, spatting, or biting back. Those behaviors seem to make grown adults act like 2 year olds and contradict the behavior that you are trying to teach. Also, if you are interested in lessening your child's frustration, I suggest using American Sign Language. I used ASL with my own daughter and she has an am amazing spoken vocabulary and has understood from a very early age, about inappropiate behavior, etc. She does not bite nor throw fits. ASL has been a blessing for our family! If you are interested or want more info, you can visit www.2talkinghands.com or www.sign2me.com Take care and good luck!
S.

I had that problem too when my kids were toddlers...what I did was LET HIM BITE! But! when you notice him biting something get a lemon wedge, take the thing he's biting on away, rub the lemon on there so the juice gets on it, then give it back...do that with everything he bites on...including you! after awhile he's going to remember that ucky sour taste when he gets ready to bite, and he'll stop...it worked on both my daughters and my son. Of course, don't forget to wash the stuff off! Good Luck!!

Dear T.:
Not sure about here, but in Germany pharmacies sell a bitter but harmless substance OTC. Put it on stuff he typically bites and on you (wrist or whatever) so that he equates biting with 'not good for himself'. I think we use it to kick the habit of biting nails...

W.
(father of 8yo)

Hi T.,
One thing to remember is that parenting is not a popularity contest. Consistency and natural consequences are very important. Sometimes you have to teach your child the natural consequences for their actions. Biting causes pain. If your child bites you have to show them how it feels. They don't know what hot is until they experience it through natural consequences. So my advice is suck up, take a deep breath and bite the little monkey back. After a couple of minutes you can then love on them and explain that biting hurts and is not good. Of course, only bite until they start to pull away from the pain and release at the first pull back otherwise you will bruise the skin more easily.

Another thing to try is what I call audio reminders. Take a soda can and put about 2 dozen dried beans in it. Secure the top and I decorated mine with construction paper and markers and labeled it Mama's NO NO Can (I also have one in each room). When you discipline your child immediately shake the can and tell them "NO, that hurts", "No, that is not safe" or whatever is appropriate. It's loud and gets their attention. Eventually, you will be able to shake the can when you see them start to bite or do something inappropriate and say "NO, {and the appropriate reminder}" and that will be a sound reminder to change their behavior.

Good luck on getting a bite free future.
C.

The only aadvise that I can give you is this...repeat, repeat, repeat!!!!! Children this age learn through repitition. Biting back may work but I'm like you, I can't do that. Get down on his level!!! VERY FIRMLY (not yelling) tell him "NO BITING!!!" and tap his mouth to show him what you are talking about. Also, exagerate the ammount of pain that he causes when he bites you (yell "OUCH!!!" and rub the spot that he bit). You can also make him kiss it and make it better so that he will understand better (since you probably kiss his booboos to make them feel better to.) This agegroup responds more to your emotions then to your words. Show him how it hurts you. If your husband is there when he bites you (or vise versa) lavish attention on the victim. Remember, if you cannot address the biting immediatly, it won't do any good. He has a short memory with this sort of thing. He doesn't realize that he is doing anything wrong.

I am lead teacher in the 12-18 month room at a child care center. We have biters in our class. At this age it is a common problem. Just keep trying and remember that it is normal and as long as you don't make him think that it is acceptable, he will outgrow it.

I had the same problem with my son at that age, he's now 2, and my pediatrician gave us the strangest advice that actually worked. She told us that any time he would bite to give him a warning and if he didn't listen to wrap him up in a towel and sit him in a corner for about one minute. Then to bring that towel every where and any time he would try to bite just bring out the towel (the threat of being wrapped in public should stop the biting). It took about one week and the biting stopped. I found I would have to hold him down in the corner with his back turned towards me. I know this sounds totally strange, and I was hesitant, but it worked. Good luck.

Hello T.,
My child had a biting issues also. I was just like you I could not bit back. My little boy bit my little girl so hard she bled and had a huge bruise. The course of action we took may seem a bit harsh but it worked quite well for us. When he would go to bit us we would try to hurry up and put something else in the way for him to bite. Something that he would not like for example a fuzzy blanket or a bathtub book (it was not to hard but hard enough that he didn't like it.), carry around a lemon let him bit on that. Put some scented lotion on heavily so he can get the taste of it in his mouth when he bites you. I hope this might help you I know it can be very frustrating at times.
J.
____@____.com

It really teaches the wrong message to hit or bite a child back. It tells them that biting when you're angry is ok and that violence is an ok way to solve the problem. My daughter started biting (only me) at around 12 mos and then stopped. She's now 18 mos and doing it again. She only does it when really frustrated or angry with me. My husband tells me it's because I let her get away with things too often. I try to catch her before she actually bites down on me - like if she's pressing her mouth up against me and thinking about it. I say "no" firmly, explain that biting is only for eating and physically remove her from the opportunity. If she starts a tantrum, I just leave her on the carpet (in a safe place) and walk away. Now that she's old enough, my husband and I started putting her in a "time out" chair yesterday (2 minutes). That's already working to get her to stop whatever bad behavior she's into. She HATES it when we ignore her like that. Perhaps you could try a minute of time out in a play pen? I've heard that one minute per year old is ok. Hope this is helpful.

S.

My husband had this problem with our oldest and he bit him back and Dominick didn't bite him after that. So that trick really does work.

My son hasn't started biting yet (hopefully it won't ever start). But my doctor told me to bite him the second he does bite, and he'll understand. I don't think swatting him would do the trick. He needs to know what kind of pain it causes, and what the consequences are. It sounds harsh, but I think it's the only way! (Anyways, he's too young to remember! :)
Good luck!

My daughter would bite me and her toys when she was little. I had to bite her back to finally get her to stop biting me. It does sound cruel at first, but I only bit her back hard enough for her to feel the pressure and know what it feels like to be bit. If you do not do this they do not understand what it feels like. It isn't any worse that popping them on the leg or hand. That hurts too, but it is not the same feeling as biting. How will your son know what he is doing hurts if he has not experieinced it himself? Like I said, you don't have to bite him back hard just hard enough for him to feel the pressure and know what "that hurts" means. I only had to bite my daughter back one time and tell her "see, it hurts". She started to understand what that meant. Good luck and I hope this helped!

My first child had a little friend who bit her on several occasions (around 20 months old!) Her mother made her say she was sorry, scolded her, explained how it hurt people, etc. but her child continued to bite - nearly breaking the skin every time!!! One day, my daughter bit her friend back!!! Not nearly as hard as she had been bitten, but hard enough that it completely SHOCKED the other girl and she screamed and cried like she had burned her finger on the stove! Our girls continued to play together on a regular basis after that and the biting stopped. The other girl occasionally would make a move as if she wanted to bite, but paused before opening her mouth, as if she remembered what being bitten felt like.

Hi, T.
I know it does sound very cruel but they never know it hurts unless you show them. My youngest had a biting problem, her pediatrician is the one that gave me the advice. and I took it eventually after thinking about it a couple of days. She hasnt bit ever since. You can't just bite a little, You have to show them exactly how they are hurting you! (maybe not draw blood) but hard enough to show them. Then tell them see I told you it hurts and every time you bite I will Bite you back and make your husband do the same. I doubt there will be a second time.

Good Luck.

T.,

My first thought is to ask if your son is teething. All three of my children bit when they were teething. It would stop after the teeth came through and back again when more teething happened. Some teeth were worse than others. After they got all their teeth, the biting permanently stopped.

Regardless of the cause, I would not recommend biting back, especially at 14 months. They are too young to be doing this to be mean. At this age, they bite either out of frustration, because they are in pain or because they are curious (cause and effect is going to be very interesting to them for the next several months.)

Try and isolate when your child bites (is it when he is tired, frustrated, bored, hungry or otherwise dealing with difficult emotions?) If the timing is totally random, my guess is teeth. Get him teethers - you can try different sizes, temperatures and textures to find what he likes. Sometimes a cold or warm washcloth works. Pick your battles and if he wants to bite a shoe box or blanket or bedpost, let him. Give him pain killers if you have to. A little teething medicine or Tylonol won't hurt when the pain is really bad. (My daughter used to lay in the fetal position holding her jaw and screaming because of teething. It really can be unpleasant at times.)

Your son may also bite to get a reaction or attention from you. Sometimes just a flinch, an "ouch" or a sigh of frustration and roll of Mom's eyes is enough to make him want to do it again to test cause and effect. If this is the cause, don't make a big deal of it. If he bites you, pull him away and tell him "no" in a firm voice, but not with a lot of emotion. Then get up and walk away. (Don’t run back in to see his reaction.) If he bites other kids, get him away from them. Don't set him down and have a talk about how biting hurts. All he will learn is that biting is a good way to get your undivided attention. He can't understand others feelings at this age anyway. (If the child is older, have the discussion before they bite, not after. Include a warning that an unpleasant consequence will be immediately carried out if the behavior happens again, even once. Don't attach another long talk with the consequence.)

Chances are, if this behavior isn't inadvertently encouraged, it will end with teething.

Best of luck,
S.

14months is too young to try to explain it to him. saying fimly, "no, that hurts" is far enough. as for the spatting him on the bottom, with a diaper on it doens't hurt, you might try the thigh, his hand or ...biting back can work. popping him on the offending part (i.e. the mouth) might have more of an impact.

M.
amara 8/25/01

You can tell her "no, that isn't nice" at 14 months I don't think she'll understand why though but most children at any age understand "no". Perhaps put her on a time out when it happens for a minute and then before she can get up she has to apologize to whom ever she bit. The sooner you get a handle on it the better and you have to be consistent or nothing you do will work.
Blessings, C.

My oldest daughter would get so mad when she was two that she'd try to bite. Telling her no was not enough. She just didn't care. Every child is different and what works for one may not work for another. I BIT HER BACK! I am not a lazy parent and I resent anyone saying that biting back is lazy or sending the wrong message. It sends the message that biting causes pain, something my child needed to know. I firmly told my daughter, after I bit her that biting hurts! She only bit me once, never again and after I bit her back, she stopped biting her brother as well. Trust your instincts.

Chris

Hi T., I too had that problem. I have two children, a girl-3 and a boy 20 months. My little girl never ever even tried to bite, my little boy on the other hand, he was a handful. I used to work at a daycare and I had a little boy in my class who was always biting...EVERYONE!! I used to go home crying b/c I felt so bad, as did his mother. She did a little research and found some suggestions...Maybe they can help you.
1. Make him bite a lemon- this one didn't work for me b/c my son liked lemons.
2. Make him bite an ONION!! I know, I know, It sounds horrible, but believe it or not, IT WORKED!! Not only for her child, but mine too.
Like you I didn't know what to do, So I figured I would give it a try. After a few times of biting into the onion, my son would stop and "think" about what he was going to do.
Another lady at the school my kids go to now, got her daughter a little purse (you could try a stuffed animal) for her to bite on when she got mad. The only thing is, she was about 23-24 months old, so I think she understood a little better!! Well I hope some of this helps!!! Good Luck, and just remember, eventually he WILL grow out of it!!

Please don't bite back that won't teach him anything but that biting is acceptable behavior. My daughter went through a biting phase around that time. I used time out and told her no bite! According to the experts timeout should be 1 minute for each age. So 1 minute for your little boy. I did not give warnings biteing got immediate timeouts. The thing that worked was being consistent. She finally realized biting was not acceptable. Every once in a while she will bite, but overall she has stopped. Don't forget positive reinforcment when he doesn't bite. He is just trying to let you know he is frustrated.

WHEN MY SON WAS THAT AGE HE TOO WAS BITING EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING. WE BIT HIM BACK AND AFTER A COUPLE OF MONTHS OR SO HE STOPPED BITING. I KNOW YOU SAID THAT YOU JUST CAN'T BRING YOURSELF TO DO IT, I FELT THE SAME WAY AT FIRST. BUT AFTER SO MANY TIMES OF HIM BITING ME OR HIS FRIENDS, I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE AND I STARTED BITING HIM BACK. LIKE I SAID, IT WORKED FOR ME, BUT IT MIGHT NOT WORK FOR YOU. EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT.

I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK WITH THIS, I KNOW IT CAN BE STRESSFUL.

M.