Michelle,
If she is over 40 pounds and the seat manual says 40 pounds to harness yes you MUST stop using the harness/it is NOT optional as another person indicated (there are also heigh restrictions too that many children outgrow the height before the weight)...it is not a "loose" guideline but based on crash testing...it sounds like you have one of the 3 in 1 seats..alpha omega etc....they are notorious for this problem...the children reach 40 pounds but are not ready for a booster....for a great resource go to www.car-seat.org.
GREAT thinking on your part to keep her in a 5pt harness....like the others suggested the Graco Nautilus available at Walmart and TRU/BRU is a great choice to harness much longer and then it converts to a good high back booster...the Britax Frontier is more expensive but will last even longer...it harnesses to 80 pounds and also converts to a high back booster...it's more expensive because of some extra features but honestly the Nautilus is getting excellent reviews....
I'll add a very links to this to best explain why keeping children in a 5pt harness is best....it's a lot of info but great info..especially if a grandparent or spouse wonders why the other kids are sitting in boosters and your child is in a 5pt harness!
B.
Here are some facts why a 5 point harness seat is safer than a booster seat:
* The crash forces are spread over the skeletal body over five points rather than three.
* The crash forces are spread to the strongest parts of the child's body.
* Forward head excursion (the distance the head is thrown forward) are lessened.
* The child is secured in the correct seating position rather than being able to wiggle
around, lean forward etc
In 5-point child restraints, there is also the added safety of the top tether (so long as the vehicle has this feature). The top tether or top strap (as its sometimes called) helps hold the top of the child restraint back against the vehicle. In a frontal crash at 30mph with a car seat installed properly and no top tether, there is a 32" frontal head excursion.
In the same seat, same crash, child restraint installed along with the top tether, you reduce that frontal excursion to 4-6", thus making it more likely that the child will not hit the seat in front of them.
When used correctly, 5-point harness car seats provide significant safety advantages over securing your child in a booster seat using the adult seatbelt. A child is safest in a 5 point harnessed seat. A child should remain in a 5 point harness until they outgrow it.
Here is a great link with detailed information and a video clip of a vehicle crash test video comparing a 5 pt harnessed seat vs a booster seat:
http://www.kyledavidmiller.org/pages/4211/Car_Seat_Safety...
If you want to go straight to the crash test video, here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2kO8AxKbrM
Highly Recommended 5 Point Harnessed Seats:
1. Graco Nautilus and it turns into a booster after the harness is outgrown but
is a 5pt until 65 pounds)
2. Britax Regent will harness to 80 lbs and/or 53 inches tall
3. Frontier a great new seat can harness to 80lbs and then can be used as booster to
100 lbs and/or 60 inches tall
4. Britax Marathon is a good seat to harness to 65 lbs and/or 49 inches tall
5. Evenflo Triumph Advance is also great